Communication is key! Do you know the difference between hearing and listening? This presentation offers information on how a little adjustment to your communication styles can have a huge impact.

1. LISTEN MORE, WORRY LESS
Camille Stell
Director of Client Services
Lawyers Mutual

2. AGENDA
• Develop “active listening” skills to tune in to
coworkers and cultivate productive relationships
• Use communication skills to build a team
approach that motivates others and facilitates
change
• Use questions to open thinking
• Discuss effective methods of managing conflict

3. ADVANTAGES OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
• Increase productivity
• Better understand what others are saying
• Better understand how to get your message
across
• Enhance relationships
• Reduce work place stress
• Save time and money

4. WHAT IS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION?
• Is ease in communication a given?: Talking is easy. True communication
is an exchange with another and this requires greater skill.
Communication demands that we listen and speak skillfully, not just talk
mindlessly.
• Challenges to effective communication: Interacting with fearful, angry,
or frustrated people (whether our clients, our peers, or our bosses) can
be difficult, because we're less skillful when caught up in such emotions.
• Proven Success: Don't resign yourself to a lifetime of miscommunication
at work because of these challenges. Tips for success follow.
• Result: Good communicators can be taught as well as born.

5. YOUR ROLE AS COMMUNICATOR
• Tone of voice
• Body language
• Key words
• Style of speech

6. THE POWER OF LISTENING
• Prepare to listen - eliminate distractions
• Set aside listening time
• Concentrate on what others are saying
• Use non-verbal signs to show you are listening, nod in
agreement, maintain eye contact, lean in to show support
• Avoid interruptions
• Avoid making your decision while others are speaking
• Avoid forming your argument while others are speaking
• Avoid getting defensive
• Avoid prejudice towards the message
• Practice paraphrasing “is this what you mean?”
• “Listen” for feelings
• Ask questions
• Establish eye contact (appropriately)

7. ACTIVE LISTENING CAN…
• reduce threat
• clarify the speaker’s point of view
• build trust

8. USE ACTIVE LISTENING WHEN…
• the other person becomes angry or
agitated
• there are arguments
• you need a catalyst for dialogue

9. ASKING VS. TELLING
• Telling is parental
• It breaks down rapport and creates a feeling
of being pressured or pushed
• Asking elicits thought and suggests a
credible, thinking adult
• It builds relationships and shows you care
enough to show respect

10. THE POWER OF QUESTIONS
Why ask questions:
• Questions demand answers
• Questions stimulate thinking
• Questions provide valuable information
• Questions allow you to start the dialogue
• Questions get people to open up
• Questions lead to effective listening
Helpful questions to ask:
• Can you clarify that?
• What specific results are you looking for?
• What do you want to accomplish?
• What are your priorities?
• How can I help?

11. NONVERBAL CUES
Visual
• Facial, eye contact, the
body, personal appearance
Vocal cues
• Volume, pitch, rate, tone, pauses
Spatial
• Personal, social, public

12. TO IMPROVE YOUR PERCEPTION
• Keep openness and skepticism
balanced
• Listen and ask for feedback
• Become an observer
• Convey feelings as well as content
• Be flexible

13. THE POWER OF YOUR WORDS
• Follow through on your promises and commitments
• Manage conflict
• Respond rather than react
• Provide feedback and ask for feedback
• Keep your team up-to-date
• Deliver bad news when necessary

14. LOST IN TRANSLATION – EMAIL
Email has become our primary form of communication.
Email makes it harder to build rapport - people hide behind e-mail.
Until now, most complaints have focused e-mail overload or embarrassment
when sending to the wrong people. However, new research indicates that
over-reliance on e-mail can degrade an organization's interpersonal
communications. If it's not used properly, instead of making your company
quicker and more efficient, too much text-based communicating can work in
the reverse. One study by UCLA psychology professor Albert Mehrabian
found that 55% of meaning in an interaction comes from facial and body
language, 38% comes from vocal inflection, and only 7% of an interaction's
meaning is derived from the words themselves. Yet, I’m sure all of you have
been offended or have offended others by your email “tone”.

15. EMAIL TIPS
• Avoid communicating anything sensitive, important, or
complicated in email.
• Refrain from combining multiple themes and requests in
a single e-mail, make sure the e-mail subject line clearly
reflects both the topic and urgency of the message.
• Do not overburden colleagues with unnecessary e-mail,
especially one word replies such as "Thanks!" or
"Great!" and use "reply to all" only when absolutely
necessary.

16. SURVEY SAYS . . .
• Lack of Communication
• Ability to air grievances without repercussions
• Understand the role of paralegal (helps with dealing with
issues related to them – billable hours, certification, CLE
requirements, team assignments)
• Administrators balance many different things – can any
work be shared during down times with staff not as busy
• Communicate changes in firm such as hirings, firings, lay-
offs, office moves, insurance, salaries, as well as procedural
changes – balance with confidentiality
• Technology (or lack of) and equipment issues
• Clear expectations - evaluation process and job
descriptions
• Involve staff through staff
meetings, committees, discussions

17. MANAGE CONFLICT THROUGH
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
• Recognize that disagreements may result from different
perceptions
• Recognize when someone disagrees with you, they are not
inept
• Discover the cause for the differing viewpoints
• Understand the other person’s “frame of reference”
• Recognize your own bias
• Take into account your own emotions
• Take into account other’s emotions and biases
• Discuss observable behavior and performance
• Use concrete words vs. abstract words
• Use examples to enhance meaning

18. MANAGE CONFLICT THROUGH
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
• Avoid jumping to conclusions
• Investigate the facts before making a conclusion
• Ask yourself, “Fact or inference?” about any
statement
• Be wary of generalizations
• Ask yourself the specifics of your generalizations
• Ask others to do the same
• Avoid the “know-it-all” attitude. Check authenticity
of second-hand accounts
• Be aware of problems arising from:
 Bias
 Personal Motivations
 Emotional Style

19. BUILD A TEAM: ESTABLISH COMMON GOALS
• Think about the other person and his/her goals
• Build the bridge from the other side
• If you don’t know, ask. Then listen and sincerely
care
• Help by asking questions to clarify their goals
• Solve problems together

20. ACTION PLAN
• What are you going to take action on?
• List specific behaviors
• Be as systematic as possible
• Break difficult behavior into several smaller
behaviors
• Repeat specific behavior until mastered
• Measure and evaluate
• Keep records (preferably visual)
• Use visual reminders (pictures, charts, etc.)
• Remember: ("A small goal is enough!")

21. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
• Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B.
Cialdini, Ph.D.
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by
Ron McMillan, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, and Al Switzer. Sign
up for email newsletter at www.vitalsmarts.com.
• We Got Fired by Harvey Mackey
• Famous Failures by Joey Green
• Tough Choices: A Memoir by Carly Fiorina
• Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath
• 250 Job Interview Questions by Peter Veruki

22. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
• NCBA Member Services - whitney@ncbar.org or call
1-800-662-7407 or 919-657-1554
• BarCARES Plus – Anne Arbert, Program Manager
800.640.0735 (mental health counseling and career
counseling)
• LinkedIn.com
• Martindale-Hubbell Connected
• Monster.com

23. CONTACT INFORMATION
Camille Stell
Director of Client Services
Lawyers Mutual Liability Insurance Company Of North Carolina
P.O. Box 1929, Cary, NC 27512-1929
Tele: 919.677.8900 | 800.662.8843
camille@lawyersmutualnc.com
www.lawyersmutualnc.com
Follow us on Twitter: @LawyersMutualNC, @CamilleStell,
@MarkScruggsEsq, @ WarrenSavage1 and @Troy_Crawford