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The 4 Crucial Elements To Mind Reading Any Prospect Or Client
1. THE 4 CRUCIAL ELEMENTS TO MIND READING ANY PROSPECT OR
CLIENT.
Ever heard of the video game called Mine Sweeper? (yes I’m in the 40+
group…and loving it☺) It was a gridded screen with numbers and mines
behind each square. If you happen to press a grid with the number 6 then
magically a whole bunch of squares each way would open up. However if you
selected a square with a mine behind it would blow up! Game over. The point
of the game was to unveil all the grids without touching a mine – just like
mind reading.
Structure is the gateway to all mastery. When you know how something
works from the context of structure and knowing the patterns (program)
you are on your way to mastery. When you know the structure and patterns
of human behaviour and how people think you are able to accurately predict
(mind read) what specifically will lead your prospect or client to say yes to
you. This free report is about introducing you to the structures of
personality and thinking style of anybody you meet. In other words to
have your prospect or client swiftly come to the conclusion:
1. He/she gets me
2. He/she is like me.
If any prospect or client is thinking you get (understand) me and you are
like me, you would have to fundamentally mess up your presentation for
them to say no.
Before we go into the 4 crucial elements, we need to appreciate that there
is nothing mystical or magical about mind reading. Mind reading is our
ability to share insights with prospects or clients about them and/or their
situation based on their programming
The way to get there fast is by noticing the cues and clues of 5
factors:
1. Environment
2. Language
3. Body language
4. Interests/hobbies
5. What they do for a living
2. By knowing what to look for in these five areas you fast track your ability to
mind read. You in fact begin to develop your intuition even more when it
comes to reading people. Mind reading simply means your ability to enter
their world efficiently, accurately and quickly. When they believe that
you are like them and that you get (understand) them they will move forward
with you with little if any resistance. It is only our resistance, insecurity
or lack of attention that separates us from a positive result.
Now where this gets really powerful is when you trust your intuition enough
to reveal aspects of them to themselves that they were not aware of and in
the same instant is very accurate. Doing this will impact your results
instantly, whether it be in sales, in business leading others or in
coaching.
What is Intuition?
Great leaders, high performing sales people and highly effective coaches do
their great work intuitively. You need to realize here that intuition is
something we learn – we are not simply born with this. Intuition comes
from doing the hours where we collect a series of reference points that
eventually lead us to instantaneously accurate conclusions of what is
actually going on in a situation, which may look like magic. Understanding
the structure behind this is what leads us to mastery.
For example I remember having a conversation with my wife about her
‘uncanny’ knack of being incredibly effective and creative at producing great
food out of our kitchen. Where upon many people would ask her for her
recipes only to be told that she can’t remember how much of this she put
with that. She told them much to their dismay that she made it up! Let’s just
pause and think about this. Not only did she know how much of this to mix
with that she also knew what to mix with what! One day I asked her how she
did this and her answer was fast and swift – “Intuition!” “That’s useful!” I
said much to her chagrin.
But was really going on here? She had spent many many hours learning to
cook and over time she had actually learned many different styles of
cooking. So how did she move from being consciously competent to
3. unconsciously competent. Meaning, how did she move from first time
learning, repetition while either reading a cook book or being told what to do
while doing it (consciously competent) through to just doing it successfully
without instruction from a book or person (unconsciously competent). To
understand this we need to turn our attention to the great work by Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi (I know!). In his book “Flow” he describes how we are
continually bombarded by lots of data and information, specifically 2million
bits of information every single second!!! The fact is we can’t consciously
process all this information. In fact this is similar to trying to tune into all
of the radio stations in your city, your state, your country, all of Europe, the
US, Asia, in fact the entire world – all at once! Impossible. In order to make
sense of our world we have mental filters that delete:
1. What we don’t regard as important
2. What we don’t believe.
When you can mind read what is important to them and what they do
believe, this is the beginning of all mind reading.
Besides deleting what is not important and what does not reflect our beliefs,
we also generalize and distort our world in order for it to make sense to us.
There are other filters as well. These other filters include values,
experiences, reference points, decisions and meta programs (deeply
unconscious filters of how we think, make decisions and perceive our world)
These filters enable us to distill down the 2 million bits per second of
information to 134 bits of information per second, which we in turn convert
to bite size chunks. More specifically 5 – 9 bite size chunks. For most of us
it’s about 7. So what? How is this useful to you and me? Well, when we take
this information to the every day world lets look at the first time you drove
a car after you got your license. In other words the first time you were in
the car all by yourself driving! Do you remember? Do you remember how it
felt? You were very careful, very attentive, slow, and perhaps a tad
uncomfortable and perhaps not as good as you are today☺. Why? Because all
your 7 chunks were taken up. One chunk for steering, one chunk for the
accelerator, one chunk for the brake, one chunk for rear mirror, one chunk
for side mirrors, one chunk for spatial awareness, one chunk for the
speedometer. However after you have experienced many hours behind the
driver’s seat you know longer need all 7 chunks. In fact driving becomes only
4. 1 chunk of information. That’s why you can get from a to b while making a
phone call, changing the dial on your radio, while day dreaming about what
you did yesterday, and while steering with one knee and feeling relatively
relaxed! It all seems like magic!
All learnings register in the unconscious and we are able to pull out any
information we want if we are able to build a neurological bridge from
the conscious to the unconscious. The way we do that is by practice –
doing the hours! For example if I was to ask you what your home phone
number is you would be able to tell me in an instant! But just a moment
ago it was not in your conscious awareness. It was buried in your unconscious.
Because you have accessed your phone number so many times, there is now a
neural bridge that has been built between your unconscious and conscious
mind, therefore enabling you to easily access it.
Reading people is exactly the same. As you become familiar with the
structure and patterns of how people think and you notice these
patterns everywhere you go, you will be able to start relying on your
intuition and accurately sharing insights with all your prospects and
clients – fast.
THE 4 CRUCIAL ELEMENTS TO MIND READING ANY PROSPECT AND
CLIENT.
In order for you too accurately, consistently and efficiently read all of your
prospects and clients there is an outer casing that you must be aware of.
This outer casing has 4 CRUCIAL ELEMENTS, formulating the foundations
of mind reading. I have discovered over time that to recognize
behaviourial patterns we must first understand , know and appreciate
that there are 4 main types of personality styles and this is where to
begin. Within each of these are many differing patterns that go all the way
to a micro level. However to know the micro you need to be aware of the
macro dimensions and criteria first. By the way, its at the micro levels where
all the magic happens.
5. CRUCIAL ELEMENT NUMBER 1: RECOGNISING THE TYPE WHO
WANT TO WIN.
Part 1: Who is this person?
This person is really competitive, loves challenge, is a bottom line thinker
and is task orientated. They are into the facts, fast paced environments
and getting to the point. This person likes to be in charge of several
things at once and relishes environments of power and authority. They
are mostly motivated by the threat of failure and are driven by certainty of
themselves to handle whatever is coming. They are big picture thinkers who
will delegate the details. They are visionaries and generally learn really
effectively by seeing the information. Efficiency, speed and leverage are key
attractors when performing any tasks at hand. They don’t like to be told
what to do and are not interested in other’s opinions. In fact they like
stating their opinions as facts! They process information and data quickly
and can be impatient. A great starter of many new things at the same time,
but can be a poor finisher. They are very much ‘what’ people wanting to be
very clear on the end game. They are always clear on why they are doing
what they are doing.
They are left brain thinkers, which means they have bullet proof logic, hence
there interest as mentioned lies predominantly with the facts. When it
comes to masculine / feminine energy they are naturally strong in the
masculine. This masculine / feminine energy is non gender specific. You can
have a woman who is really strong in her masculine (eg facts, results, direct,
hold the line with anyone) while at the same time have the ability to embrace
vulnerability (feminine energy). More to come on the topic of sexual energy
in future reports.
How Not To Mind Read The Type Who Want To Win
Go on meandering streams and then take another meandering stream, talk
lots of ‘unnecessary’ detail, lack of direction in what you are talking about,
not knowing why you are telling them what you are telling them, not
getting to the point, sharing with them all your opinions if not asked, telling
them what they should do, not show them a picture of what you are talking
about, whine to them about your stuff, get all fluffy duck – they don’t get
along with fluffy ducks ☺, going on and on about something that is not
useful to them. They walk with a sense of purpose. Don’t touch them.
6. Part 2:The 5 External Clues and Cues to look for before mind reading:
1. Environment
They love displaying their wares to show that they have been
victorious and are really good at what they do. Displays of
certificates of accomplishment, trophies and may even show them to you.
Are neat and tidy and be clear of clutter and anything that is not useful.
If they have golf clubs they will be very expensive ones. In fact any
gear they may have for any sporting or hobby interests will be the latest
and greatest. More than likely their car will be high quality, whether it’s a
sports car or four wheel drive, it won’t be cheap. They may have their
plans or goals (if they have them) displayed on the wall so they can look
at them. Most people who fit this description access information
visually. This means that they normally dress well. What does dress well
mean? In this context they are tidy and well presented. In some cases
may also wear strong colors with strong definition.
2. Language You Will Hear
You will hear words like fast, speed, efficiency, ‘what’s the point’, ‘get
to the point,’ ‘what do you want?’ If you are in a business or sales
situation you will hear the words – best result in the fastest time, Is this
the latest model? How will this improve my situation? They tend to be
highly visual so you will hear words that reflect this. ☺ For example,
imagine, get a picture of, I see what you mean, enjoys seeing diagrams or
‘pictures’ of what you are talking about.
3. Body language
Their body language will be communicating certainty, energy, spine angle
will be erect, communicating energy.
4. Interests/hobbies
Anything that is challenging and / or competitive. Anything that involves
discliplined focused concentration. They are significantly stimulated by
growth, so any activities or hobbies that challenge them will more than
likely be involved. In some cases depending on the individual they are
driven by physical challenge as much as hobbies which mentally stimulate.
For example anything from golf to extreme activities like bungy jumping
7. or jumping out of a plane. In a lot of cases their business is their
hobby! All their needs for certainty, significance, challenge, stimulation,
growth are all being met through the work they do.
5. What they do for a living
They will: own their own business, if not be in a position of power in their
organization, CEO of the company or their own company, leadership
position, sales manager, sole trader. In other words, any job or work they
are not being told what to do by anybody else.
In Australia 9% of females and 13% of males are The Type Who Want To
Win.
CRUCIAL ELEMENT NUMBER 2: RECOGNISING THE TYPE WHO
WANT TO BE LIKED
Part 1: Who is this person?
This person is charismatic and loves being around people. In most cases
this person is energized by being around people and loves a chat. They are
big picture people who get bored with detail. They get excited about
possibilities and do not respond well to threats. They are what I call
carrot people. In other words they love talking about possibilities and the
future and what it could mean for them. They are sensitive to negative
feedback and are motivated by the importance of being liked – big time!
They are right brain thinkers which means they tend to feel their way
through things and are driven kinesthetically. They love doing, being involved
and being the centre of attention. If they have a healthy esteem they
value their opinion very much! Afraid of missing out on people things, or
events. You can on the balance of probability predict that fun is one of their
drivers and a top 10 value – if not top 5!
They crave and are significantly driven by variety and connection. People
feel safe with the type who want to be liked. Their strength lies in getting
along with a great variety of different type of people. They have an
uncanny knack of making you feel real comfortable, and if they are male
generally women feel safe around them, unless of course the guy is
8. immature. Generally, they are popular and well liked considering their
specialty in life is being liked! They are also generous with their time and
with their knowledge.
They tend to be in solid touch with their feminine energy and will be
balanced with their masculine energy. This is the reason they are so
charismatic. They are not afraid of vulnerability and are quick to get
involved in heart to heart conversations. They love fast paced
environments.
Like being touched.
How Not To Mind Read The Type Who Want To Be Liked
Talk details. Stay on the same topic of conversation for too long (variety
man!), unless its all about them!, talk technical details. Be slow paced in
your presentation. Over look or ignore their opinions. Be ‘official’ with them.
Part 2: External Cues and Clues
1.Environment
Their environment will be disorganized. They thrive on fast paced
environments so will more than likely meet with you ‘amongst it’, which means
they thrive meeting in environments where their tend to be lots of people.
They will touch you lots – unless they have been trained in mind reading
and know when and when not to touch☺. They are generally energetic and
☺
respond real well to having company. They will tend to look down to their
right a lot to access feelings. They are not ‘systems’ people and will have this
more than likely delegated. Their environment will have a good feel or
vibe. You will notice that you are comforted easily. You will tend to like
them (funny about that!) and they take themselves very lightly and more
than likely use humour to create rapport with you. If u find yourself laughing
lots – you have entered the environment of a person who wants to be liked!!!
9. 2.Language
You will hear them use words like ‘disorganised chaos’, feels good,
connection, doing, experiencing, get a good feel for, get a good vibe for,
lets look at the big picture and is really interested in who else is doing this,
getting in touch with, get a grounding for, talking lots about people ( rather
than things).
3.Body language
Can be energetic but have a relaxed nature of going about things. Will
like to sit on the same side of the room/table/desk as you. Lots of hand
gesturing, talk quickly, excitable body language, will match your body
language without even knowing.
4.Interests/hobbies
You need to be careful here because even though they are into being with
people are place an almighty importance on being liked, they can also be into
activities or hobbies that do not involve others. Because of their
kinesthetic/feeling nature they may be into running or gyming or yoga simply
because of the feeling it induces. Being one of these people I can tell you
that the reason I have been running and lifting weights for the last 18 years
is because of how it feels during the exercise and how it feels afterward –
its’ about the feeling, didn’t you know that? ☺ Remember we …ah I mean..
they love using their bodies.
Reading about other people, an interest in psychology, an interest in what
makes others tick.
5.What they do for a living
Sales sales sales – did I say sales! After all in almost all cases people buy
services, products and trainings from people they like! It is extremely rare
for anyone to buy something from someone who is not liked. The only time
this would ever happen is if the product or service is very rare, can’t be
purchased anywhere else and the client or customer absolutetly needs it.
The type who want to be liked are also found in entertainment, human
resources managing relationships, counseling, coaching (not business), in
non technical leadership positions. As a generalization you will find them in
‘jobs’ that get paid based on performance. They don’t like working for a wage
10. regardless of performance. They want to have a significant influence on how
much they earn. This is one of the ways they satisfy their need for variety.
In Australia 41% of females and 29% of males are The Type Who Want To
Be Liked.
CRUCIAL ELEMENT NUMBER 3:RECOGNISING THE TYPE WHO WANT
TO BE COMFORTABLE.
Part 1: Who is this person?
This person craves certainty, predictability and takes their time in
making decisions. They are conservative types and will stick with their
job/career/relationship/hobby/interests for a long time. They are
extremely reliable. They are driven by security safety and connection.
Generally you will recognize them as what I call mother archetypes, which
means they are outstanding at taking care of others and looking after
other’s needs. They often place themselves a distant second which if done
for long enough has a negative impact on their self esteem.
They thrive in slow paced environments that are well systemized. They
resist change and like repeatability. These people are right brain driven
meaning that they are very much in touch with their softer female energy
side. Soft skills are their strength – as long as they are in an environment
that is safe enough with lots of stability. They prefer slow paced
environments that are well organized. If their environment is not, they will
organize it. The person who wants to be comfortable is also into the details,
sometimes some may say obscure details that aren’t necessarily directly
related to an outcome. This makes sense in the world of the person who
wants to be comfortable because they are immersed in process. Process to
them is their purpose. They also tend to be kinesthetic in how they either
access or process information.
How To Not Mind Read The Type Who Want To Be Comfortable.
Talk too quickly. Create uncertainty in them by talking about all the change
that is going on or that is going to happen. Talk only big picture and outcome.
Process is the core of their experience and they are not outcome driven as
much as others. Coming across overly technical and ‘non human’. Rush into
business/official conversation straight up.
11. Part 2: External Cues and Clues
1.Environment
Their environment will be warm, welcoming and conservative. They will have
lots of photos of their family, children and friends in their home and
office. When I was working in residential real estate sales I had a collage of
photos of all my happy clients. Why? It created a warm atmosphere that
appealed to The Type Who Want Be Comfortable. I would often have clients
sitting in my office first and then I would go and make their coffee or tea
so they begin connecting with me before we even began talking business.
Remember the nurturing, warm, and caring nature of the mother archetype.
If you feel this in your prospect’s or client’s environment you have entered
the world of the type who want to be comfortable.
2.Language
The speed of their language will generally be slow, you will notice words like
safe, guarantee, certainty, step by step process, how can I help/support.
Because of their kinesthetic (feeling) nature you will hear other words like,
connection, getting a grasp of, getting in touch with. It’s all about people
and family.
3.Body language
They will generally be slower in their movements and quite tempered in their
approach, which means you will not notice fast energetic/sitting erect type
physiology. Their body language will tend to be quite relaxed and to the
more extreme even slouching into their seat/chair/couch.
4.Interests/hobbies
On the balance of probabilities they are introverts. This means they
recharge their batteries by spending time on their own. To add to this they
are real carers of others and have an interest in others and avoiding the
spotlight at the same time. Therefore in saying all this you may find their
interest or hobbies around disciplines like naturotherapy, taro, or massage.
Remember they don’t like change or risk so their hobbies will generally not
involve risk of injury, be repetitive and have solid grounding or tradition.
12. 5.What they do for a living
They are attracted to semi skilled jobs or careers which have certainty,
security, systems, and lots of repetition. A great example is a bank
teller, whose job starts and finishes at the same time every day and 98% of
their day is the same. They value safety and connection in their careers.
For example in the real estate company I worked, we were very fortunate to
have some great support people who wanted to avoid the spot light and were
amazing in their delivery of their work. Amazing in that it was consistently
accurate, on time and with an incredible attention to detail. They were very
organized and if the system they were given didn’t work well enough they
would improve it detail by detail. As a result they received lots of validation,
significance and support from the rest of the team taking care of their need
for connection and safety/security. Their work was highly repetitious and
very predictable – they loved it. I worked with them for seven years and
as of the time of writing this report they are still there, making it 12 years!
In Australia, 30% of females and 32% of males are The Type Who Want To
Be Comfortable.
CRUCIAL ELEMENT NUMBER 4: THE TYPE WHO WANT TO BE RIGHT.
Part 1: Who is this person?
This person is best known for their technical prowess. They are detail
orientated, left brain thinkers and are into an incredible level of detail.
You will normally find this kind of person in a career that is highly
specialized. For example an engineer that not only specializes in say,
mechanical engineering, but some specific field within mechanical
engineering. The success in their career is based on their ability to be
consistently accurate with their findings, conclusions, measurements,
research etc. Hence being The Type Who Want To Be Right. So this is
not in an egotistical fashion, more so in an analytical, factual type fashion.
If you are in sales or you are a coach attempting to convert them into a
paying client you will hear them actually sat that need to ‘think about it.’
In this case it is entirely true. What works really powerfully here is to tell
them they need to go away and think about it before they tell you. This is
one way of mind reading them.
13. Some other indicators that you are dealing with this type of person is that
they only respond to facts. Their personalities tend to be standoffish and
misinterpreted as cold people. This may be true in some cases, however my
experience has shown me that The Types Who Want To Be Right prove to be
one of the most loyal type of clients you will ever have. Why? Because
they are very distrustful of people in general, especially people they have
just met. Their criteria for establishing trust is normally quite long and
detailed and are either what’s known as a period of time convincers or
number of times convincers. In other words it takes time for you to be aloud
to enter their world. Once you have been entrusted as a friend or trusted
adviser/coach or service provider they will stick with you for life.
How Not To Mind Read The Type Who Want To Be Rigfht ☺
Be vague in your presentation, lacking precision and concision. Do not touch
them! Rush straight to business, talk about your feelings for too long. Force
/ pressure them into a decision. They genuinely want to think about it. Not
looking at them when you speak.
Part 2: External Cues and Clues
1.Environment
Their environment is tidy, clean and well ordered. They are introverted by
nature, which means they get energized by spending time on their own. So
what does this mean in the context of environment? On the balance of
probabilities their environment will not be as warm as The Type Who Want
To Be Comfortable, it will instead be more formal. Make sure you are well
presented tidy and conservative. They rarely make decisions on first
meeting, therefore the first meeting will be more a fact finding mission.
Small talk will be over relatively quickly.
You will need to make sure you have provided all the information they need
to make a decision, because if you don’t, this will really annoy them.
2.Language
You will hear words that reflect the facts, logic, measurables, KPIs (Key
Performance Indicators), systems, processes, and data. They want to see
14. evidence of a proven track record. They are into functionality, and
standards.
They will question you on the details of what you are presenting. For
example I remember in my real estate days, I had a seller only move forward
with me if I would eliminate some obscure conditions on the back page of the
listing authority which nobody in our office had even ever read! So be sure
you know your stuff inside out because one of the ways they will
assess/judge you is based on the thoroughness of your knowledge.
3.Body Language
They will not be gesturing too much and will generally be quite still.
Sometimes this type of personality will have a look to talk rule. To them it
means “to trust you, you need to look at me while you speak”.
4. Interests and Hobbies
Will be attracted to mind stimulating activities and hobbies which require
focus and attention to detail and patience. It’s not so much the hobby itself
that is important, but the reason why they are doing it. For example, they
may be into running. You may hear this type of person say, they don’t run
because they enjoy it, they do it because its good for them and it’s the most
efficient way to lose weight.
5. What They Do For A Living
Specialised technical jobs, scientist, financial planner, accountant
specializing in a particular disclipline, IT expert.
In Australia 19% of females and 26% of males are The Type Who Want To
Be Right.
Your FREE CD takes these 4 Crucial Elements to the next level.
In joy
Joe Pane