The presentation I gave when I started my most recent job.

1. Two Words…

2. Audience participation.

3. Born in Alaska.

4. Raised in Alaska.

5. Died in Alaska.

6. (he’s odd.) Yeah, we think so too.

7. Steller. Question Authority.

8. APU. Find Authority.

9. But what did you do after college?

10. Technical what?

11. What technical?

12. What what?

13. Cracking wise. Or, “Is he joking? I can’t tell.”

14. Better than cracking dumb.

15. Like a good neighbor…

16. Audience participation…

17. “ Dude. Slow down.”

18. Meedy ocraty.

19. Excel lence.

20. Meedy lence. Hmm… better word…

21. Slacker (n) … Think about what it means to you.

22. Slacker (n) … Here’s what it means to me.

23. On Being a Slacker@Work We slackers represent the bright side of overachievers. Slackers are as smart , educated, talented and driven as any standard-issue overachiever you’ll find. The core difference is that slackers have the gift of satisficing: we can stop at “good enough” and go home unburdened by what was left undone. Though slackers will satisfice , it would be a mistake to assume that slackers never exceed expectations . Quite the contrary. Because slackers are at their best when focused upon problems and issues that are important to them, slacker work product is among the finest in the world. Therein lies the key to understanding the slacker ethic: slackers are best at doing what is important to them . This knowledge is important not only to those who work with slackers, but also to slackers themselves (Slacker, know thyself!). When slackers understand why they aren't like the other kids in the office, they can begin to employ lifehacks that afford many favorable benefits. Foremost among these benefits is the ability to pursue ones own interests while simultaneously being seen as a superstar at work. Source http://www.changethis.com/sp-4.SlackerAtWork

24. Or, as Ellen so eloquently puts it...

25. “ It’s called ADD…”

26. Blogging. Become Authority.

27. Usamajility.

28. Usamatizzle.

29. Word.

30. What I do do.

31. (haha, he said doodoo.)

32. Interface Design.

33. Kids in Marketing.

34. Web 2.0.

35. User-generated content. a person in a condition of servitude, required to render services to a lord, commonly attached to the lord's [web site] and transferred with it from one owner to another.

36. There’s a word for that.

37. Surfs.

38. Er, I mean… Serfs.

39. Sorry. Where was I?

40. New media. No, not the new media you’d find in a New Media Studies class at the New School…

41. I mean New. (media.)

42. eigenfunction of a drum membrane Do you want me to explain this?

43. Okay. But this is the last time.

44. One Web Ring to Rule them all. 9rules.(com)

45. The culture here. You people are freaking me out. (You are all so nice. I am not used to that.)

46. And then there was Jack. He said a funny word the other day.

47. KAIZEN. It was then that he really started freaking me out.

48. Continuous improvement.

49. Or as I like to say…

50. Needs more blue.

51. Back to Web 2.0. Can you show me an example of this “Web 2.0” of which you speak?

52. Yes.

53. Yes, I can. Four words…

54. White text.

55. Black background.

56. My name is Matthew Oliphant and I was Internet Famous once.