1. Conflict Management

3. Understand the phases of the conflict resolution process

4. Display rapport-building skills through assertive methods of expressing disagreement and consensus-building techniques.

6. Conflict Everyone experiences conflict “The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them.” Tom Crum

7. Dysfunctional messages regarding conflict sent by our culture It’s ok to have conflict with equals, but not with superiors. It’s ok to have conflict only when the social structure allows conflict. Harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal.

8. Examples of negative and even destructive attitudes and communication patterns that can exacerbate conflict in a relationship. Avoiding Conflict Altogether Being Defensive Overgeneralizing Being Right "Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-Reading Forgetting to Listen: Playing the Blame Game Trying to ‘Win’ The Argument

9. Conflict is normal, healthy, and productive for relationships.

10. Conflict is inevitable because People have different personalities, data, beliefs, experiences and viewpoints. Team members see the needs of the organization differently They have different responsibilities and interests to represent. People feel threatened, when they feel blocked from getting what they want, or when they face a risk of losing what they have gained.

12. It leads to greater clarification and understanding between people It produces innovative solutions It enables people to learn and expand their perspective It encourages meaningful dialogue and communication It leads to cooperation and greater unity between people or groups

13. WHY UNRESOLVED CONFLICT IS DESTRUCTIVE It drains energy and attention from important tasks, productivity, safety, quality, and/or teamwork It destroys the self-esteem and motivation of others It polarizes individuals and creates sub groups and cliques It leads to emotional and personal attacks that create "baggage" It results in unproductive competitiveness, frustration and anger that gets vented

15. There is unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an emotional level.

16. There is miscommunication leading to unclear expectations.

17. There are personality clashes.

18. There are differences in acquired values.

19. There is underlying stress and tension.

21. Causes of Conflict Unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an emotional level

22. Causes of Conflict Miscommunication leading to unclear expectations

23. Personalities Conflict It is the behaviors which conflict, not personalities.

24. Causes of Conflict personality clashes Some people are:While others are: Outgoing, spontaneous, and talkative Introspective, serious, and quiet Intuitive...shoot from the hip Detailed,evaluate, ponder & consider Feeling and emotional Logical and analytical Concerned for people Concerned for concepts Structured, ordered, planned Flexible, go with the flow, unplanned

25. Causes of Conflict Differences in acquired values

26. Causes of Conflict Underlying stress and tension

27. Causes of Conflict Ego problems

28. Causes of Conflict Combinations of the above

29. You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist. IndiraGhandi

30. Communication patterns that can exacerbate conflict in a relationship. Avoiding Conflict Altogether Being Defensive Overgeneralizing Being Right "Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-Reading Playing the Blame Game Trying to ‘Win’ The Argument

31. Conflict Resolution Simply means how you solve conflicts

34. Resolving Conflict 7 steps to resolving conflict

35. Step 1 Develop an attitude of resolution

36. Step 2 Set the stage, plan your approach

37. Step 3 Arrange a place and time to talk

38. Step 4 Tell your stories, gain an understanding of the issues

39. Step 5 Listen actively and with empathy

40. Step 6 Generate solutions and a shared, win-win vision of resolution

41. Step 7 Test for satisfaction

42. Four Styles of Communication Passive Aggressive Passive-Aggressive Assertive

43. The Passive Person “I’m unable to stand up for my rights.” “I don’t know what my rights are.” “I get stepped on by everyone.” I’m weak and unable to take care of myself.” “People never consider my feelings.”

44. The Aggressive Person The other person is inferior, wrong, and not worth anything. The problem is the other person’s fault. They are superior and right. They will get their way regardless of the consequences. They are entitled, and that the other person owes them.

45. The Passive-Aggressive Person “I’m weak and resentful, so I sabotage, frustrate, and disrupt.” “I’m powerless to deal with you head on so I must use guerilla warfare.” “I will appear cooperative, but I’m not.”

46. The Assertive Person “I am confident about who I am.” “I cannot control others, but I control myself.” “I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.” “I know I have choices in my life, and I consider my options. I am fully responsible for my own happiness.” “We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”

47. Situation Your coworker has just arrived an hour late for a business dinner while traveling. He did not call to let you know he would be detained. You’re annoyed about his lateness.

48. That’s OK. Shall we eat now? I’ve been waiting an hour. I would have appreciated a phone call to let me know that you would be late. That’s OK. (Then you conveniently make an excuse to go back to your room and work before dessert.

49. Situation Your coworker Sue continually gives you her work to do. You’ve decided to put an end to this. Now, she just asked you to do more of her work.

50. I’m kind of busy. But if you can’t get it done, I guess I can help you. “OK”, you say, and then you tell the boss. Forget it. It’s about time you do your own work. You treat me like a slave. You’re so inconsiderate. No Sue, I’m not doing any more of your work. I’m tired of doing both your work and mine.

51. Situation Your supervisor just gave you a mediocre annual performance review.

52. I understand. Maybe the workload should be lighter. I appreciate your feedback and would like to know how I can do better in the coming months. I don’t think you like me very much. Maybe I should quit. In response, you hang your head.

53. Calm Yourself What to say or do Why? Take a deep breath, say "relax Clears thinking, models control

54. Restore order What to say or do Why Take a "Time Out“ Stops the fight, contains the damage

55. Hear their stories What to say or do Why "Help me understand your concern.“ Gathers information, defuses tension

56. Listen carefully What to do or say Why Eye contact, don't interrupt Honors the need to be heard

57. Generate solutions What to do or say Why "How could we resolve this?“ Moves from accusations to solutions

58. Agree on a solution What to do or say Why "Would this work for you?“ Moves to resolution, brings closure

59. Test for satisfaction What to say or do Why "Are you sure this will work for you?“ Assures clear communication

60. Key Points to Remember Be a model of calm and control Don't give in to emotional outbursts Don't assume people are being difficult intentionally Find a quiet place to resolve conflicts....privately Set some ground rules for the discussion: No raising of voices This is not a debate Speak only for yourself..."I" phrases Confront the issues, not the people Maintain or enhance self-esteem

61. Identifying the Benefits of Resolution Effective conflict resolution digs deep into the issues to resolve the core conflict and prevent the problem from re occurring.

62. The Importance of Forgiveness It means accepting that the conflict happened, accepting and working through how it made you feel, accepting the consequences it had, and letting those actions and consequences exist in the past.

63. Preventing Conflict Practice good habits