1. Deborah Jeff
Founding Partner, Family Department

2. UK Cohabitation and Marriage Survey
• A unique nation-wide survey of
marriage, cohabitation and
commitment, commissioned by Seddons in
collaboration with The Marriage Foundation.
• Undertaken on our behalf by OnePoll between
December 2012 and January 2013.
• 3,500 adults polled across 9 regions in England and
Wales.

3. UK-wide Survey
National survey results for our 13 key questions are
cross-referenced by additional data such as:
• Gender
• Region
• Age
• Relationship status
• Employment status, partner's employment status;
• Salary, partner's salary
• Dependents.

4. Demographic
• Covered nine regions of the UK
• 63% female and 37% male. Of these respondents, 48% were already
married, 21% were cohabiting and the remainder were single (17%), in a
relationship (9%), divorced (3%), widowed (1%) or separated (1%).
• Age range: 18-55+
• Some 69% of married respondents had children (between one and four),
compared to 19% of cohabiting respondents and 5% of singletons. Just
over 1% of divorced respondents had children.

5. Questions we wanted to explore:
• Why is the myth of common law marriage
so prevalent?
• Are shared financial commitments
important for a couple?
• Do people plan for them?
• Do they influence marriage decisions?

6. Do you hope to be married one day?
• More than twice the number of people who didn't want to be
married in their lives (23%), did aspire to marry in future
(56%), with both genders of respondents answering almost
identically (Yes: F-58%,M-53%, No: F23%,M-23%). A quarter of
men polled said they weren't sure, compared to a fifth of
women.
• Employment status range, the highest proportion of
respondents by grouping who said they aspired to be married
was by far 'Students' at 73%, with Employed people at 60%
and Homemakers at 40%.
• After the Retired group, the Unemployed group least likely to
want to get married (just 1 in 3).

7. What shows you’re a couple to
family and friends?
Respondents answered:
• 45% - living together;
• 30% - getting married;
• 12% - having their child;
• 9% - buying a house together.

8. If cohabiting, why not get married?
Reasons given for not tying the knot:
a. Cost of the wedding (42%)
b. 25% overall were waiting for their partner to ask them,
c. 20% just hadn't got around to it yet
d. 28% thought marriage wasn't necessary.
e. Around 12% - been put off by other people's divorces.
f. 15% - because they couldn't afford to buy a house together.
g. 11% - didn't like the expectations that being married to their partner
would place on them.

9. What is the greatest display of
commitment in a couple?
a. Having partner’s child.
b. Closely followed by: getting married, buying a house together and
including them in your will .
c. Moving in together and opening a joint bank account , lesser signs of
commitment to a relationship.
d. There was a leap of up to a third in the proportion of people from the age
groups within 18-44, to the age groups within 45-55+, who rated the
highest way of demonstrating commitment within a relationship by
getting married.
e. Buying a house together unanimously popular across all age ranges, and
having a joint bank account together doubled in importance for the age
group 55+, from all other age groups.

10. Markers of Commitment
% rating 10 out of 10 as way of showing commitment within a couple
Cohabiting Married Aged 18-24
Getting married 35 49 41
Moving in together 14 11 13
Buying a house together 30 23 25
Having a baby 51 41 47
Buying a pet together 5 4 6
Opening a joint account 7 11 9
Including them in your will 20 20 20

11. Would you happily have children with your
partner without a pre-,post- or co-nup?
• Split down the middle with 53% saying "Yes" and 47%
saying they wouldn't. Slightly more men than women said
they would be happy to do this (Yes-
M:56%,F52%), compared to 48% of women who said they
wouldn't and 44% of men who said they wouldn't.
• Nearly 60% of 35 to 44-year-olds would be happy to bring
up children this way, but this percentage falls to 44% by
55+.
• Response figures were generally the same between people
who already had children and those who did not.

12. Should couples share finances?
• 82% thought it was important in a relationship, as opposed
to just 18% who said they didn't think it was important.
• Almost all married and cohabiting couples shared most of
their official financial commitments (current
account, mortgage, household bills),
• In terms of savings, married couples who shared were nearly
double the percentage of those who just lived together.
• People who earned more than £50k p/a were significantly
more likely than those on lower salaries to share a current or
savings account with a partner.

13. What finances are you sharing?
• The three biggest commitments were:
a. 49% - a joint bank account ;
b. 41% - a joint mortgage or rental agreement;
c. 40% - household bills.
• Lower priority bills by importance were joint credit cards at
27% and loans for which both partners are responsible
(11%).
• Respondents were twice as likely to share a credit card with
a partner who earned more than £80k p/a as they were
with a partner who earned £25k p/a or less.

14. Have you discussed the fate of shared
finances if you were to part?
• 82% had not discussed how their shared financial obligations
would be dealt with in the event of a break-up. This figure
was equal for men and women. (Yes-F:18%,M:19% -- No-
F:82%,M:81%).
• Likelihood of discussing obligations decreases with age from
18-24 at 21%, down to the last age group of 55+, by which
time this had fallen to just 14%.
• Percentages were similar regardless of whether in a
married, cohabiting or non-cohabiting relationship. They were
also similar regardless of whether they had children or not.

15. Should separating spouses get more of an
ex-partner’s assets than a cohabitee?
• Nearly a third of respondents thought that
married people should be entitled to a greater
share of each other's assets and future income
than cohabitees;
• But: 42% thought this should be the same
whether you are married or cohabiting.
• Around a quarter of people (26%) said they
didn't know how the legal system governing who
gets what on separation should operate.

16. Do divorce courts’ powers to decide how
assets are divided put people off marriage?
• Nearly a third - courts powers on divorce were more likely to
discourage marriage.
• 58% who said it wouldn't make any difference to them, or they didn't
know. Figures for this were roughly the same for responses from men
and women.
• Earners of £50k+ p/a believed that courts ruling on how assets are
split on divorce was more likely to encourage marriage.
• More than three times the number of respondents whose partner was
unemployed thought court judgement on assets would discourage
them from getting married, compared to those whose partner was
employed.

17. Could you learn to relate better?
• 69% said "Yes", with a quarter of those admitting there
were issues they should discuss but don't or can't, a
quarter saying they could learn to handle disagreements
better, and a fifth saying they could learn to understand or
support each other better.
• Figures were broadly the same for both sexes when asked
these questions; except for 35% of men saying they
couldn't learn to relate better, compared to 28% of women
who said they couldn't.
• Interestingly, figures were largely consistent across the
whole spectrum of age groups.

18. Preparation for a Union
• 83% did not access any relationship education or marriage
preparation before or in the first few years of marriage or
cohabitation.
• Divorced respondents = highest proportion among all groups
at 92% with no pre-relationship preparation.
• 25% of students (the highest proportion) said that they had
sought advice.
• Respondents were considerably more likely to have sought
pre-marital/cohabitation advice when earning 50k+ p/a.

19. “We are deeply concerned that so few
people access relationships education at an
early stage in the relationship. It is good
that most people recognise that they can
learn to relate better, and we are
committed to promoting better access to
relationships education.”
Sir Paul Coleridge, The Marriage Foundation