5 Moments of Everyday Self-Loathing That Perfectly Describe Your Life
The sanderson apocalypse c7
1. The Sanderson Apocalypse – Chapter 7
Why hello boys and girls, and welcome to the (hopefully) second
last chapter of the Sanderson apocalypse. Above my writing is
generation four spare Lawrence (Sanderson) Shibata, the Captain
Hero of the new world, and his lovely assistant Captain Heroine
(formerly Lady Lena and the human Marylena Hamilton).
“I’m ho-ome!”
Oh Lawrence, you won’t have anymore photos of you taken due
to your completion of Law Enforcement. It’s a pity since you
were one of my favourites.
2. On the other hand, your triplet siblings have started getting on
my nerves. Sure, I can hit three birds with one stone, but they’ve
been causing a lot of trouble recently. Beau, the eldest of these
three, is a womanizing misogynist who plans on woohooing 20
women. The middle one, Penelope, is in an incestuous
relationship with her mother’s cousin because of ACR and
doesn’t plan on stopping. Finally, the baby of the generation,
Zachary, is just plain awkward and annoying.
3. As promised earlier, for their actions, these three won’t have a
grad photo. We can just laugh at their poor clothing choices.
“Soon I’ll be wearing something sexy, ya know?”
Hurry your ass up.
4. “At least my hair is fashionable.”
Yeah, but that neon green is plain yuck.
5. And- oh…
“I may be the awkward one, but at least I have style.”
Zach, you’ve officially made me the happiest creator in the world.
I’m so sorry you’re related to those two crazies.
“Not a problem; at least I actually count as a spare in your
books.”
Mhm…
6. Before we get these three into their respective careers, let’s take
a look at the neighbourhood so I can explain where everyone
lives:
The house squared in yellow is the main Sanderson household.
The house squared in red is the Comb mafia household with
Dawn Sanderson.
The house squared in purple is the home of Bianca, her husband
and their kids.
The house squared in blue is the first spare household.
The house squared in green is the home of spares Fiona and
Lawrence.
The house squared in orange is the spares of spares household.
The house squared in pink is the household of Beau, Penny, Zach
and Ramone.
8. Although I may not agree with it, at least they can be happy. If
you want to know how they’re related:
Michelle+EthanClark+Amanda(Carlson)Ramone+PenelopeJo
e+KatheleenBruce+NadiaMichelle+Ethan
9. And the job hunt begins. Thanks to Fiona lifting Journalism, this
has become much easier. Beau finds his job in Show Business,
Penelope in Business and Zach in Science.
10. By the way, did I mention that Beau and Ramone are best
friends? I don’t think I have.
11. Anyways, Penelope is the first to rise quickly in her career. She
manages to obtain the golf thingy just by getting the job/I
checked the prima guide and realized she’d never get it due to a
high level so I automatically gave it to her.
Yeah…
12. Zach starts a relationship with fellow scientist Marisa Bendett. I
hate her genetics (although I did use them with Ethan), but they
have two bolts so it’s totally cool.
13. “Hey, everyone get in here,” Beau shouted, “Zach’s about to get
laid!”
“Never thought I’d see this day coming,” Penny scoffed.
“Can you guys please get out of here?”
14. As the triplets rose through their career levels, Penelope
discovered she was pregnant.
“Does this mean I can go on maternity leave?”
Nope.
19. “Um, Zach, I may have slept with your brother.”
“Do you love him?”
“No.”
“Then I don’t care. He’s going to be alone for the rest of his life
anyways; we might as well just laugh and move on.”
20. Penelope gives birth to a baby boy named Gary Sanderson. He
gets so much cuter when he grows up.
21. Everyone starts getting ready for their last promotion and
Lawrence stops by to babysit.
“Ha, I’ll always been in a chapter.”
Sure, sure…
22. And unlocking Science, we have Zachary who has now given us:
• Electronics
• Robots
• Lights
• Many other awesome things
23. Then we have Business which unlocks:
• Selling purchased items
• Service Sims
• Private School
• Crafting Benches
• Fortune Perks
• Etc…
25. And finally we have Show Business which unlocks:
• Pretty Clothing
• Pretty Hair
• Make-Up
• Accessories
26. And here are our first make-over recipients.
“Hey, Beau, I just have one question...”
“Yeah?”
27. “Why didn’t Zach get a make-over??”
“Yeah Creator, why didn’t he?”
Because Zach grew up into something stylish and suitable.
28. “Do you have to be such a bitch about it Penny?”
“Excuse me Zachary; what did you just call me?”
“A bitch, because you are one.”
29. “I AM NOT A BITCH!”
“Yes. Yes you are. You treat me like crap when all I do is try
and be nice. I’m sick of it. Penny, just suck it up and deal
with it.”
“I…I… WAAAAAAAHHH!”
30. “Creator, why am I surrounded by morons?”
Because these morons had to help rebuild society.
31. Anyways, here is the cutie pie Gary Sanderson. This really is a
spare heavy chapter. At this point in writing, I haven’t gotten
the chance to play the main family yet.
32. Oh yeah, by the way, Marisa gave birth to Zachary’s child
whom they named Nicole Bendett.
33. And Penelope had a daughter named Mikayla Sanderson. I’m
going to make a family tree one day for these guys.
37. And here are the makeovers of the main members of
generation five (other than Levi), Delilah, Ryan and Gregory. I
only changed the hair on D and Greg because I wanted
something more suitable on them and I kept Ryan the same
because it just was fitting.
“Hey, Greg, the Creator thinks I’m the cutest.”
“Whatever.”
38. “But-“
“I don’t care, Ryan. All I know is that I’m going to rebuild the
telephone system and the Internet while you bring back
trustworthiness and your future wife brings back water that
isn’t purified by great-great-grandpa Ethan’s technology while
D brings back art. Are we clear?”
“…I’m still cuter than you.”
39. Out of the adults in the house, only Diane receives her
complimentary make-over. I just realized that she looks like a
much prettier Sandy Bruty.
“Thanks… I guess.”
40. The next morning, I find Delilah in her bathrobe drinking a can
of juice in the kitchen… at ten in the morning… on a weekday.
Your grandmother lifted Education and this is how you repay
her?
“Whatever; I’m lifting Artist so it isn’t like I need to learn.”
To get into the Art career, you need a college education.
41. “That’s stupid.”
You’re stupid.
“You have no nice points.”
You only have 3 creativity points.
42. “Look, just let me do my thing and we can all be happy.”
If your mom didn’t lift Natural Science and your great-
grandmother hadn’t lifted Culinary, then you wouldn’t be able
to do the thing you’re doing now.
43. “Father, I have returned from my first day in the advanced
classes and already have an A+!”
44. “Why won’t anyone pay attention to me? I am merely ten
years old and I have already started high school!”
“Well I’m merely thirteen years old and I already am being
ignored for being too ‘ugly’ to be the heir.”
“Quiet deformed human monkey! I think I have devised a plan
to become the star of this generation.”
“So how are you going to-“
“I SAID QUIET! I must become… evil…”
45. “Oh Kurt, let’s have another baby.”
Do it and both of you die. I may love you for what you’ve done,
but I have the entire end of the apocalypse planned out based
on Ryan and his future spouse only having one kid who in turn
will only have one kid. This needs to last seven generations
so I can start my next challenge properly.
“What?”
46. “Black bishop to pawn five.”
“Check mate.”
“Ryan, you can’t keep saying ‘check mate’ every time we start
a game of chess.”
“But I always win.”
47. “Because you cheat.”
“No I don’t!”
“Then how do you explain why you’re always winning?”
50. “Should we all worship the fire?”
“You humanoid morons need to get out of my way so I can put
it out.”
“I want to touch the fire.”
“Fire pretty.”
51. “Oh no, the fire is gone! We must have upset it.”
“The rain put it out, non-sibling monkey.”
52. “We need to worship the fire as a god, everyone!”
“Why is no one paying attention to me? If you touch the fire,
you will get burnt.”
“My skin is charred; the fire chose me to be the leader!”
“Why am I surrounded by morons??”
53. “Delilah, the fire has returned and I am guarding it.”
“Josh, can you please go home.”
“No, the fire chose me. You are just jealous of my power.”
54. “Oh great fire from the sky, how should we praise thee?”
“Josh, shut up and leave my house.”
55. “Delilah, shut up; you’re making the fire mad.”
“Josh, my mom’s garden is ruined.”
“We offered it to the fire.”
56. “Levi, please tell me that you’re sane and know that the fire is
bad, right?”
“So I am not alone in being intelligent here.”
“Nope.”
57. “Why is everyone so stupid, little guy?”
“Probably because the Creator just cheats to age up their
households so they don’t experience anything.”
58. “Now would you all take a moment to pay attention to me?”
Yes.
59. Levi Sanderson grew up to become a Popularity Sim. His
lifetime want is…
“To become a Cult Leader. Yes, it’s perfect; I can force these
stupid monkeys to follow my every word.”
Holy traffic jam, Batman! This kid is perfect; his lifetime want
corresponds to what I’m making him do.
60. “The monkeys love to hear commands from bearded men with
long hair.”
Levi is officially one of the cutest sims I have ever had in my
game. So… awesome… love…
61. “So cuteness is good in order to command the stupid?”
Yes…
“Monkeys of Beauville, tremble before your new God!”
62. “Hey D, do you think that Levi is cuter than me?”
“Yes.”
“But-“
“You’re still the heir, Ryan. Levi can’t be because that would
mean what mom rebuilt is now void and useless.”
“Oh… good.”
So now I have a few more make-overs to show you guys:
69. With that rotation out of the way, we now turn to the next
college rotation. Here is our new class… all 9 of them…
From front to back: Anne Shibata, Nikolas Kearney, Levi
Sanderson, Ryan Sanderson, Delilah Sanderson, Gregory
Sanderson, the Luis Kearney, James Kearney and Eric Jordan.
74. So my red-headed heir, are you ready to do this?
“Do what?”
Find your spouse, graduate from college, have generation six
and lift intelligence.
“Of course I am.”
Then let the games begin!
75. “Ryan, who did you just call at this hour?”
“The Dean so we can obtain a Greek House Charter.”
“Isn’t that against some restriction?”
“Who cares, we only have 9 left to lift out of 29 or something.
And by the time generation six is born, it’ll be down to 3.”
76. “Rainbow Bright like cousin, can you explain to me why I am
forced to study the ethics of social psychology when I am
bound to be a Cult Leader. Why am not allowed to feed my
useless minions tainted Cowplant milk, hmm?”
“Dude, you have issues… scary issues.”
“YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS THE ISSUES OF WHICH THAT
ARE SCARY!”
77. “No Levi, Nikolas is right; you are pretty messed up.”
“I can’t admit to you fashionably inadequate cousin that I am
pretty, but never that I am messed up.”
79. “Stupid human spawn believing that I am ‘messed up’ as they
so put it.
I’ll show them…”
80. “Delilah, come on, you don’t need a computer to finish your
artwork.”
“Oh, and you need it?”
“Yeah, because I need to write a research paper for my
Psychology professor.”
81. “No, you can’t wait, Ryan.”
“Come on, D. Pretty please (like myself).”
82. “I’m pouting.”
“Just wait until I’m finished.”
“But that’ll take hooouuuurrrrsss.”
83. “You can wait, can’t you.”
“Fine, but I get to annoy you from down here for the entire
time.”
“Fine.”
84. Because of the number of sims living here, I decided to expand
the facilities to include more washrooms and a living room.
“This sucks, Creator!”
You are the one that sucks!
86. By the time that their semester was up, everyone had headed
off to their exams… except for a certain romance sim. Damnit,
Anne!
“What, I have better things to do.”
Such as?
“Um… look, a mongoose!”
87. “You know, Delilah, I heard a rumour that, in that new
business school, they’ve found some weird objects that no one
understands how to use.”
“Really? Like what?”
“Well, a friend of mine said that she saw one of your art
professors open up a bookcase and come out with a painting.”
88. “Luis, that’s impossible.”
“I know, but hear me out: maybe the building holds a few
ancient objects for a reason. Maybe, when they built it, they
excavated some of the things we still haven’t figured out how
to use.”
“So if you’re right, then the apocalypse may be over sooner
than we expected.”
“Yup.”
89. “Levi, did you hear what Luis said?”
“About the mysterious objects? Why yes, I did.”
“Do you want to explore the new business school this
afternoon?”
90. “Delilah, although you may be the most intelligent sibling I
have been given, you fail to realize that only business majors
and professors have access to that facility.”
“So?”
“Are either of us a business major?”
“No, but Dean is.”
91. “Hey, did somebody say my name?”
“Yes, Dean, our distant relative. Would you be so kind as to let
us into the business school?”
92. “Guys, I can’t bring you in there. The only way you two could
get there is if I leave my key to the building in this house after
I graduate.”
“Darn, Levi… I was hoping we could get into the building.”
“Delilah, you realize that he’s leaving the key for us once he’s
gone, yes?”
93. *ring*
“Hello? Is this Whitney Nanale?”
“Oh my gosh, who is this? Did I, like, win a million dollars and
can finally get out of this dumb and start my own television
show to be just as famous as that creep Beau Sanderson?”
94. “Uh, no, my name is Ryan Sanderson.”
“Are you related to that creeper?”
“He’s my uncle who I’ve never talked to.”
“That’s tots good enough for me. Like, what do you want?”
95. “Well, I was wondering if you want to hang out and stuff. And
maybe, you know, go on a date?”
“Nice one, lady’s man.”
“Okay, I could tots date- wait, who was that? Are you
cheating on me already? God, not again! Why does every guy
I date cheat on me???”
“Uh, no, Whitney, I’m not cheating on you. That’s just my
annoying cousin Anne.”
96. “Oh… I get it… I think… Anyway, I’ll come over to your place in
an hour.”
“But, I haven’t told you where I live.”
“Like duh! Everyone in your family lives in that big Greek
house. I can see it from my place.”
98. One hour later…
“Oh my God, Ryan; everyone here is tots naked! Is this, like, a
nudist family or something? Should I get naked, too?
Whatevs, I’ll do it anyways.”
“No, no, don’t get naked.”
“Ryan, tell your girlfriend she can get naked.”
99. “So, uh, Whitney… what’s your major?”
“What’s a major?”
“*mumbles* What am I getting myself into?”
100. Oh Ryan, you sly dog. Don’t you realize that I only have two
heir/heiress positions left and I just need a blonde heir to have
a complete set?
101. “Whitney, I don’t care that you’re stupid; I think I love you
anyways.”
“Your teeth look like pearls! Can I wear them?”
“How about I buy you real pearls?”
102. “Ryan, you will make me the happiest girl on whatever planet
this is!”
“Holy s**t, you’re strong!”
“Haha, you’re sooooo funny!”
103. “No, seriously, I weigh about 165lbs and you could lift me up
at…”
“I weigh 120, but I really need to be skinnier. You can totally
see fat rolls through my shirt…oh wait, those are wrinkles…
hoe do you iron clothes?”
“I…”
“That’s okay, I don’t know either.”
This looks like the beginning of a beautiful relationship…
106. “And the rest of these words before the black dot?”
Ate the mouse.
“Oh my God, did you know that the cat ate the mouse?”
I… why do you have to be the only blonde with non-glitchy
genetics left in this college?
“Because I’m a stereotype!”
Do you even know what that means?
“I…the cat ate the mouse?”
…
107. “Oh crap, Anne, it’s the end of the chapter and we’ve been on
academic probation for over a year!”
“So?”
“It means…”
110. BOOM!
Yup, say buh bye to Anne and Luis because they just got
expelled from college. These are the first two kids that have
ever been kicked out of my game since I got the EP back when
it came out.
114. and Bianca grow up.
So I’m leaving you guys here. This has been a long chapter
and I have several more events I have to get through in my
game before the next (finishing college for my main kids,
basically having to learn to deal with stupid Whitney Nanale…
gah!).
115. So here’s the breakdown for this generation’s saviours and the
spouse:
Delilah Sanderson (spare)
Pleasure – Wants to be a Hall of Famer
6/9/8/3/7 – Intended for Artist
Gregory Sanderson (spare)
Knowledge – Wants to be the Hand of Poseidon
6/9/8/3/7 – Intended for Gamer
Ryan Sanderson (heir)
Fortune – Wants to be Prestidigator
6/5/8/3/3 – Intended for Intelligence
Levi Sanderson (spare)
Popularity – Wants to be a Cult Leader
10/0/8/10/3 – Intended for Paranormal
Whitney Nanale (spouse)
Family – Wants to be Captain Hero
4/4/4/7/6 – Intended for Entertainment (or Annoyance…)
And with the lifts of this chapter, we can now safely say that
the following restrictions are done:
Hopelessness, Law, Medical, Culinary, Politics, Slacker,
Architecture, Military, Education, Athletic, Crime, Adventure,
Music, Law Enforcement, Journalism, Show Business,
Business, Science, Natural Science, Alien Technology, Pet
Service, and Pet Security.
Still to complete are:
Artist, Gamer, Intelligence, Paranormal, Entertainment, Dance,
Oceanography and Pet Show Biz.
Byesies!