4. Revision Strategies - Balance
• Is my writing balanced?
• Are all of the paragraphs proportionate to others?
• Have I spent too much time on any one topic?
• Have I shared enough details about all areas?
• Have I neglected an obvious point?
• Have I spent too much time on one trivial point?
• Do my arguments thin out toward the end of the work?
5. Revision Strategies - Delivery
• Did I deliver?
• In my introductory paragraph, I promised my reader
certain information about my topic in my thesis statement.
Does the paper or writing deliver on this promise?
• Have I used the proper language and academic tone in
my delivery?
6. Revision Strategies - Tone
• All first person singular and plural references need to be
eliminated, including words like: I, me, mine, my, we, us,
our, ours, ourselves
• All second person singular and plural references need to
be eliminated, including words like: you, your, yours,
yourself, yourselves
7. Revision Strategies - Tone
• Eliminate all contractions.
• It’s necessary to fully understand the financial benefits of
online learning.
• It is necessary to fully understand the financial benefits
of online learning.
9. Organization– Intro Paragraph
o 1. Does my introductory paragraph begin with a
hook?
o 2. Does my introductory paragraph preview
upcoming points, expand upon the hook, or build
up to the thesis statement?
o Does my introductory paragraph end with my
approved thesis statement?
10. Organization – Body Paragraphs
o 1. Does each body paragraph focus on a specific
sub-topic that supports my thesis statement?
o 2. Is there a clear topic sentence present?
o 3. Are supporting details used to support the topic
sentence? Is at least one example, reason, fact,
statistic, or direct quote used to support the topic
sentence?
o 4. Is there a concluding sentence present that
summarizes the main point of the paragraph or
that otherwise provides closure?
11. Organization- Concluding Paragraph
o 1. Does my concluding paragraph begin with my
freshly rephrased thesis statement?
o 2. Have I summarized key points made in the
essay?
o 3. Does my final sentence leave the audience
with a call to action, recommendation, or thoughtprovoking quote or statement?
12. Organization, cont.
o Have I used an organizational method (chronological,
most important point to least important point, least
important point to most important point, spatial,
compare/contrast)?
o Have I used transitions within and between
paragraphs?
o How would my paper or writing look if I rearranged
some paragraphs?
13. Revision Strategies - Clarity
• Is my essay clear?
• Have I defined all important terms that might be unclear?
• Does each sentence have a clear meaning?
• Does each pronoun clearly refer to its noun?
• Have I used clear adjectives and words that I know?
14. Revision Strategies - Accuracy
• Is my information accurate?
• Have I qualified all assertions and suppositions with
research?
• Have I cited all information properly?
• Have I eliminated all generalizations from my writing?
• Have I thoroughly covered this topic?
15. Revision Strategies – Qualifying
Assertions
• Assertion: Online learning provides for more flexible
learning, which benefits many learners.
• How to support it using an illustrative example:
For instance, with online learning each learner sets his or
her own schedule each week.
16. Revision Strategies – Eliminating
Generalizations
• Generalization: Many students prefer online learning.
• Instead, report facts: Online learning is becoming more
popular for a variety of reasons. In fact, based on a
survey conducted by Babson Survey Research Group
and the College Board, in 2012 the percentage of online
college students increased by 570,000 students moving
up from the 6.7 million students who took at least one
online course during the fall of 2011 term (Sloan
Consortium, 2013).
17. Review
o What are the three parts of an introductory
paragraph?
o What should be present in each body paragraph?
o What are the three parts of a conclusion paragraph?
18. References
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Sloan Consortium. (2013). New Study: Over 6.7 million Students Learning Online. Retrieved from
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