Cyber Bullying is Real and Moms and Dads Need to be Aware of the Dangers. http://tinyurl.com/CyberBullyingIsReal

1. ==== ====
Cyber Bullying is Real. Learn How to Stop it Now.
www.tinyurl.com/CyberBullyingIsReal
==== ====
Without any doubt, cyber bulling is an aggressive act. Some of us learn to be more aggressive
than others, but in my opinion we can calm the cyber bully by teaching them to unlearn aggressive
behaviors? I believe it is 100% possible for anyone to unlearn anything -- Psychology 101, Watson
and Skinner on Operant Conditioning. But just like everything else there is another side to every
story.
There is the victim of who is being cyber bullied, the viral technology that is being used by more
than 2 billion people (probably not all 2 billion, but definitely the majority), and parents of the
victim. Instead of focusing on the cyber bully, confronting them, and teaching them to unlearn an
aggressive behavior, I will take a more passive approach and focus on the issues and solutions
from the perspective of the victim instead, his parents and the technology.
With that being said, similar to how many things are being done on the Internet today, bullying is
not immune, and has moved onto the Internet. The Internet, and especially the social networking
platforms (eg.Facebook, Myspace, Google+, etc.), cyber bullies now have another vehicle to
abuse other kids.
The following statistics depict the seriousness of cyber bullying.
- More than 20% of kids ranging from 11-18 years, randomly selected to participate in a survey
indicated that they were victims of cyber bullying.
- More than 93% of kids between 12 and 17 use the Internet, and 70% of those kids on the
Internet use social media like Facebook and Myspace. These social media technologies assist in
the viral nature of spreading this online harassment.
- About 71% of teens think that blocking abusive messages is the most effective way to prevent
and stop Internet-based bullying.
- Recent statistics admit that half of these incidents go unreported. Cyber bullying statistics
indicate even less of these are reported.
The Cyber Bully Victim - Early Warning Signs
As a parent of the victim, it is exceptionally imperative to be aware of the early warning signs,
symptoms, and reasons before staging any intervention behind cyber bullying.
Firstly, as a calibration, a definition of cyber bullying -- it can be defined as any act carried out on
the Internet to humiliate, hurt or harm another person. While people of all ages can be subjected to

2. these harmful acts, there is no need to elaborate how important it is to make sure that your kids
are safe from becoming a cyber bully victim - I'm sure you've heard the saying "Bulliers often
become the bullies", and we do not want our kids to become either one. If it does happen, we want
to know how to fix it, elegantly, calmly, and passively.
The signs that the cyber bullied kid shows may not seem that obvious at first. Even though
parenting is tough work -- much guesswork, just in time learning, and at times it seems like you
need to have a sixth sense about your kid's disposition. Well, this is one of those times when you
may have to use your intuitive skills to 'see' the signs your cyber bullied kid is trying to show you.
Please keep mind that the online form of the act is not really that different from bullying in person.
It just has another medium to communicate and spread the bully's message - the Internet. So how
you handle it, is very similar to how you would handle the bullying in the offline world.
Your intuition will tell you when something is not quite right with your kid. For example: Your child
spends every waking moment in front of technology (that's another story), and all of sudden, one
day you notice that your kid does go near a computer or the Internet. That may be ok for one day.
However, if that behavior persisted for a few days, then you would probably be concerned. If you
are like me, then you would think "that's a little strange"; And that's what I call "parent's intuition" -
that 6th sense I mentioned above. Every parent has it, and you need to listen to it. Early warning
signs will be part of your intuition. Other warning signs exist too. We'll take a look at what signs the
victim shows, the technology they use, and actions you can take to stop, or at least, prevent cyber
bullying.
What Is Normal?
Normal is relative word. Every kid will have their own norm, and you, as a parent, need to
understand your kids' normal Internet activity. How often they usually use the Internet? What are
they doing on the Internet? Do they use cell phones or other devices to connect onto the Internet?
These questions will help you establish your own kids norm.
Keep in mind that the 13+ year olds on the Internet and who use social networking applications is
a huge and growing force. The amount of hours that they spend on their social networking
platform has also increased dramatically over the years. Once you understand your kid's 'normal'
social networking usage, their 'normal' online behavior will become obvious and yo will be able to
identify 'the signs' a lot easier.
If your child suddenly seems to withdraw from the Internet, you should assume that they may be
experiencing some sort of issue. You should, however, recognize that there are other ways to
connect to the Internet, not just through conventional devices like PC, MAC, Desktop/Notebook,
etc. It may look like your child has withdrawn, but in fact they are connecting through another
medium.
The child can connect to the Internet using, for example, a cell phone. In fact the number of
Internet connected cell phones is growing steadily, and kids are avid users of cell phones to
connect to the Internet. Just like desktops and notebooks, this is one of the benchmarks you need
to understand in order to gauge your kids normal Internet behavior. On the other hand, it's also
important to recognize that your kid may be a cell phone cyber bully recipient.

3. Normal Signs
Cyber bullying may cause the victim to withdraw from everyday tasks -- Just another sign that a
child may be an anxious target. We should understand that teenagers and pre-teens sometimes
withdrawal, even for no apparent reason. Withdrawal under 'normal circumstances' is typically
directed towards parents and family members, while they will continue with normal interactions
with their peers. Acts of cyber bullying, on the other hand, may cause a child to become withdrawn
from their friends too. Again, another sign of being targeted, but also a way to understand your
kids normal baseline.
In most cases, bullies (online or offline) want to give the impression that they are superior by
poking fun (often via very hurtful methods) at others. A kid who becomes embarrassed or is made
uncomfortable due to these episodes, may have difficulties facing their friends (who may have
laughed or observed the incident itself) or their parents (who, may not fully comprehend the
situation). The victims rarely speak about the bullying incidents to friends and family, because they
fear that the situation may get worse, and the situation will just continue.
Private and Public Figures
The cyber bully can make themselves and the issues seem 'invisible' (Technically, however, they
both can be tracked). The 'invisibility' provides the illusion of anonymity to the cyber bully. The
attacks, for example, could take place in private message boxes, well out of sight from everyone
else. The harassment may come in the form of offensive messages, foul language, and even
violent threats. These private attacks hide the cyber bully from the public, and may leave the
victimized child scared, worried, and even lonely. It is know that a child who is being subject to
severe cyber bullying may display extreme frustration, anger, sadness, or personality changes.
The worst part of this, is that these threats takes place behind closed doors, away from the public,
and very hard to identify.
Public cyber bullying allows the perpetrator to be visible. By nature of technology, those who
participate in cyber bullying are able to spread the word in a viral nature - exponentially. The
issues & impact can become more dangerous than that of the 'invisible' person. As an example,
the Phoebe Prince suicide case was a public cyber bully situation that got out of hand.
Recognize the Call
Most kids are not well equipped to stop the harassment by themselves, but depending on their
age, they will probably rationalize the situations to different degrees. Some may say they can
handle it themselves. Some will probably retreat. Some may say that they can handle it
themselves, but in reality they need help. Your job will be to recognize that they need help.
The Trusted Call For Help
Your kid has just moved out of their 'normal' behavior range, and has retreated. Your intuition tells
you that you need to start a well guided conversation with your kid. By that time, hopefully both of
you have a trusting and open relationship. A lot will depend on the trust factor alone, especially
when it comes to your kids wanting to depend on your help. Keep in mind that your kid has
probably used your help in the past to resolve a difficult situation for them. So, why should this

4. situation and the techniques be any different? Trust will help resolve the cyber bully situation.
Even though listening plays an exceptionally large part in your understanding of the situation, it's
as important to guide the conversation in a direction that you need to - To resolve the issue you
need to get to the root cause. You'll probably have to do some digging and mining of information
to formulate the situation properly.
You will probably need access to your kids cell phone, Facebook account, and whatever else is
necessary to resolve the situation. Ask your kid to help with this. Reassurance is also key. Your
kid may not want to share anything with you at first, but reassurance will go a long way. Let your
kid know that they are in safe hands and step them through your intent and how you plan to
resolve the situation.
So far, you can probably tell that the solution lies within Parenting 101. The only difference
between now and then is before your parenting skills were used face-to-face with people, and this
time you are dealing with a combination of face-to-face and the Internet world. It is time to move
those parenting skills over to the online world.
Forget the technology for now. Most importantly, try establishing the impact that the cyber bullying
on your kid - their fears, concerns, who may be bind the acts, and as many details possible to put
together a coherent story.
The easiest (yet still difficult and cumbersome) of the situations to handle is if the cyber bully is
located at the same school as your kid. After getting all the facts, I would just walk into the school,
speak with the Principal, and get it the situation fixed. On the other hand, the more difficult
situations may require a custom fix - legal, cyber bully family, another country, etc.
Pass Down The Wisdom
It's your obligation to ensure that your kid is being guided them emotionally as well as technically.
I'm fortunate enough to be able to handle the parenting & the technical part equally. In fact some
may say I'm stronger technically, only because I've had more experience in that domain. I will,
however, help you through the technical stuff. It is important that you to learn about the technology
that your kids are using. It's not as scary as it seems - parenting skills are scarier.
From a technical perspective you can help your kid 'lock down' their technology, give them usage
guidelines, and guide them on the correct way to use the technologies. You just need to make
sure you understand sufficient information in order to guide them correctly. Get into their world.
Not only will it help you understand what they are doing with the technology, but it can be fun too.
Most kids are avid technology users & use the Internet extensively. You should share some of
their excitement.
If you need a technical boost, the Internet has an ample supply of anything you want to know
about anything -- available at all times. If your kid uses Google + as a social tool, then key in
"Google + tutorial" in a search engine of your choice. You may be overwhelmed by the number of
tutorials available, but my guess is that by the end of the tutorials you will have sufficient
information to help your kid setup Google + correctly. Search for tutorials on the different Internet
tools your kid uses.

5. Engage your kid in the different cyber bullying scenarios and what they may be able to do to
resolve the issues. Teach them about appropriate Internet and mobile phone usage. Put them in a
position that they are better prepared to avoid or fix cyber bully incidents. Pass down & educate
your kids, with the knowledge you picked up along the way.
Unfortunately, every situation will be different -- different circumstances, different ages, and
different people with different personalities. The human component is the wild card, but a little
common sense, an evaluation of each situation, and acting on the information you have. As you
can see, there is no secret formula to handle to human side of the equation of cyber bullying.
Technology, on the other hand, is more black and white. From a perspective of guiding and
managing the safety of your kids on the Internet, you will need to get sufficient knowledge (and it is
not a lot) to understand what your kids are doing on the Internet. Once you are over the education
hump you should be able to manage and guide them in areas like: How to set privacy settings on
your social network accounts, how to remove or turn off Geo tagged information from pictures and
videos, how to enable a private and secure GPS, how to manage Internet and cell phone usage,
and how to deal with cyber bully texting, etc. Again, I urge you to search the Internet for tutorials
on any of the topics mentioned in this paragraph.
It is imperative to guide children correctly - emotionally and technically. If they are unable to
manage their own technology - cell phone, Internet usage, desktops, game consoles, etc. then
reserve a little time for your technical boost. By guiding them to manage their technology correctly
you will have battled a big chunk of stopping the terrorizing. Emotionally, is different story, and that
comes to trust, openness, and basically parenting 101. Educate your kid about social network
privacy. Teach them not to add untrusted friends to their social network. Make sure they
understand how to lock-down their social network settings in order for private information to
remain private. They need to manage their cell and desktop Internet usage. Make sure they
understand when it's time for light out. Teach them how or how not to respond to cyber bully
threats - not responding is often the best approach. Let them know that they should ask for your
assistance at any time to resolve a cyber bully incident. The knowledge you pass down will make
your kid more independent, and safer on the Internet.
The combination of identifying the early warning signs, having a trusted and open relationship with
your kid, and emotional and technical guidance seems (at least to me) a solid approach to stop the
cyber bully.
Gary Hyman is an authority on The Cyber Bully. He helps keep kids safe on the Internet. For tips,
advice, and tools to protect your kids on the Internet please visit Kids Internet Safety.EZ
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gary_Hyman

6. ==== ====
Cyber Bullying is Real. Learn How to Stop it Now.
www.tinyurl.com/CyberBullyingIsReal
==== ====