Emotional Intelligence is the most fundamental attribute for success in a career.While Intelligent Quotient may take a person to a job, it is Emotional Quotient which sustains him there.

1. By
Dr Satyanarayana Dash,IAS (Retd.)
Ex-Actg Chairman, Odisha
Administrative Tribunal

2.  Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to
recognize one’s own and other peoples’
emotions, to discriminate between different
feelings and label them appropriately, and to
use emotional information to guide thinking
and behavior
 People with High EI have greater mental
health, exemplary Job Performance and more
potent Leadership Skills

3.  1983:Howard Gardner’s Book “Frames of Mind
: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences”
introduced the idea that traditional models of
Intelligence like IQ did not explain the
Cognitive Ability fully. It talked about
Interpersonal Intelligence (Capacity to
understand motivations of other people) and
Intrapersonal Intelligence (Capacity to
understand oneself)

4.  Wayne Payne’s Ph.D. Thesis on “A Study of
Emotion: Developing Emotional Intelligence”
first used the term EI in 1985. The Term
Emotional Quotient (EQ) had been used earlier
in 1987
 However, the term EI became widely known
after Publication of the Best Seller by Daniel
Goleman, “Emotional Intelligence--- Why It can
matter more than IQ” in 1995.

5.  Robert Plutchik had categorized various
Emotions faced by people in a cycle. They are–
Fear, Surprise, Sadness, Disgust, Danger,
Anticipation, Joy and Acceptance (Trust).
These are called Primary or Basic Emotions.
 He grouped the Emotions in pairs conveying
opposite feelings– like Joy versus Sadness,
Trust versus Disgust, Fear versus Anger,
Anticipation versus Surprise

6.  Ability Model : Developed by Peter Salovey &
John Meyer in 1989, they defined EI as “the ability
to perceive emotions , integrate emotions to
facilitate thought, understand and regulate
Emotions to promote Personal Growth”
 Trait Model: Konstantinos Vasilis Petrides
developed the “Trait Model” which is a
constellation Emotional self perceptions located at
the lower levels of their personality. This
encompasses behavioral dispositions and self
perceived abilities and is measured by self report

7.  Mixed Model: This Model introduced by Prof
Daniel Goleman of Harvard University in 1998
focuses on Emotional Intelligence as a wide
range of competencies and skills that drive
leadership performance. The seminal article on
this is “What Makes A Leader” by Prof Daniel
Goleman.Emotional Competencies are not
innate talents, but rather Learned capabilities
within each component of EI.

8.  Ability Model views Emotions as useful
sources of information that help one to make
sense of and navigate the social environment.
The Model proposes that individuals vary in
their ability to process information of an
Emotional Nature and in their ability to relate
Emotional Processing to a wider cognition.
This ability is seen to manifest itself in some
Adaptive Behaviors

9. (1) Perceiving Emotions: This shows the ability to
detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures,
voices and cultural artifacts--- including the ability
to identify one’s own emotions. Perceiving
Emotions represents a basic aspect of Emotional
Intelligence, as it makes all other Processing of
Emotional Information possible
(2) Using Emotions: This shows the ability to harness
Emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities,
such as Thinking & problem solving. The
Emotionally Intelligent Person can capitalize fully
upon his or her changing moods in order to best fit
the task on hand.

10. (3) Understanding Emotions : This includes the ability
to comprehend Emotional Language and to
appreciate complicated relationships among
emotions . For Example, understanding Emotions
encompasses the ability to be sensitive to slight
variations between emotions and the ability to
recognize and describe how emotions evolve over
time.
(4) Managing Emotions: This includes the ability to
regulate Emotions in both ourselves and in others.
Thus an Emotionally Intelligent Person can
harness Emotions, even negative ones, and
manage them to achieve intended goals

11.  This Test is Based on a Series of Emotion Based
Problem Solving Questions. By appropriate
Questionnaire, a Person’s ability is tested in the Four
types of abilities of the individual . Score is obtained on
individual abilities as well as total score . The MSCEIT
scores are obtained in a Consensus fashion, with higher
scores showing higher overlap between individual
score and score of a worldwide sample of respondents.
Unlike IQ tests, there is no absolutely correct one
answer to a question. It shows the degree of various
abilities against a World wide sample of Responses.
Because of this, some Cognitive Experts have
questioned the definition of EI as a genuine intelligence

12.  As opposed to Ability Model which refers to actual
abilities, Trait Model is based on self report and hence
has proven highly resistant to scientific measurement .
This conceptualizes EI as a personality trait. The
various self report measures of EI include EQ-I, the
Swineburn University EI Test (SUEIT) and the Schutte
EI Model. They are limited measures of Trait
EI.Another Measure is Trait EI Questionnaire (TEIQue)
consisting of 15 sub scales under four factors– well
being, self control, emotionality and sociability. These
scores were found to be positively related to four of the
Big Five Personality traits (Extraversion, aggreableness,
openness, conscientiousness) and inversely related to
others like Neuroticism and alexythymia (no ability to
perceive emotions).

13.  In his book “Emotional Intelligence” published
in 1995, Daniel Goleman describes how the
Evolution of the brain has implications for our
Emotions and behavioral responses. In course
of Evolution, the human brain has come to
comprise of three main areas—
 The Brain Stem situated at the base of the
Brain and at the top of the spinal cord. It
controls bodily functions and instinctive
survival responses and is the most primitive
part of the Brain

14.  The Hippocampus evolved after the brain stem
and is situated just above it. It includes the
amygdala region, the importance of which was
studied by Joseph LeDoux during 1980s. Here the
brain stores Emotional, survival linked responses
to visual and other inputs. The amygdala seems to
hijack the brain in some circumstances taking over
peoples’ reactions literally before they have had
time to think, and provoking an immediate
response to a situation. Man or Mammals, whose
amygdala is removed, do not show any signs of
Emotional Feelings at all.

15.  The amygdala can catalyze the sort of impulsive
actions that may sometimes overpower rational
thought and the capacity for considered reactions.
 The Neo cortex is the Large, well –developed top
region of the Brain which comprises center for our
thinking, memory and reasoning functions.
 Thus emotions and thinking intelligence– two
main functions of the brain regulating our
behavior are situated in separate areas of the brain

16.  When people face stimuli that prompt extreme
fear, anger or frustration, their first impulse
comes from amygdala and unless intelligent
control is exercised, the brain goes into survival
mode
 Daniel Goleman developed a framework for EI
in terms of five elements--- Self Awareness, Self
Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social
Skills

17.  Self Awareness: Knowing about one’s strength,
weaknesses, drives, values and impact on
others . Knowing how your emotions affect
your performance and learning from
experiences. Being self confident and certain
about your capabilities, values and goals.
Hallmarks of self awareness are– (1) Self
Confidence (2) Realistic Self assessment (3) Self
deprecating Sense of Humor (4) Thirst for
constructive criticism

18.  Examples of Self Aware People:-
 They openly acknowledge their shortcomings,
sometimes this may lead to their rejection at
interviews
 They see to it that work is done well in
advance, as tight deadlines bring the worst in
him
 Decisions of self aware people mesh with their
values. Hence they will act in long term self
interest, not short term financial benefits

19.  Self Regulation : Controlling your temper,
controlling your stress by being positive and
action centered, retaining composure and
ability to think clearly under pressure,
handling impulses well, and nurturing
trustworthiness and self restraint. Should have
the ability to control or redirect disruptive
impulses or moods and propensity to suspend
judgment --- to think before acting

20.  Hall marks of Self Regulation are– (1)
Trustworthiness (2) Integrity (3) Comfort with
ambiguity and change
 Examples of Self Regulation:-
 Team of Employees botched a Presentation.
Boss analyses the failure of the team and
presents his analysis of the failure to the team.
No screaming. No thumping of the Desk

21.  Examples of Self Regulation:-
 A manager in a Multinational Company had
used a software for many years. Management
decides to install a new software for higher
productivity. Employee willingly undergoes
training to learn use of new software. There is
no protests or murmurs.
 People with self regulation will not pad up
their expense accounts, TA Bills or abuse
power as they see their long term interests and
not short term gains

22.  Motivation: Enjoying challenge & stimulation ,
seeking out achievement, commitment, ability
to take initiative , optimism, and being guided
by personal preference in choosing goals. A
passion for work for reasons that go beyond
money or status, a Propensity to pursue goals
with energy and persistence
 Hall marks of Self Regulation– Strong Drive to
achieve, Optimism even in the face of failure,
Organizational Commitment

23.  Examples of Motivation:- A Portfolio Manager
at an Investment Company sees his fund
tumble for three consecutive quarters. Major
Clients defect. Instead of blaming external
factors, she decides to learn from the
experience and engineers a turn around
 First SLV mission of India was a failure. The
Project Director studied the reason for failure
and next mission was a success.

24.  Empathy: the ability to see other peoples’ point
of view, behaving openly and honestly ,
avoiding the tendency to stereotype others and
being culturally aware. Considering others’
feelings, especially when taking decisions. The
ability to understand the Emotional Make up of
other people . Skill in treating people according
to their Emotional Reactions. Globalization, use
of teams , need to retain talent are prime
reasons for Empathy

25.  Hall marks of Empathy: Expertise in building
and retaining talent, Cross cultural sensitivity,
Service to Clients & Customers, Ability to
Develop others
 Examples of Empathy—
 An American Consultant and her team pitch a
project to a potential client in Japan. Her team
interprets Clients’ silence as disapproval. The
Consultant reads their Body Language and
senses interest. She continues the meeting and
team gets the job.

26.  Examples of Empathy:-Two Giant Brokerage
Houses merged. There was redundancies. One
manager calls employees and tells them that so
many will be fired, the other manager promises
all help for retraining/relocation of employees
and promises all help . Second Manager
became a strong Leader
 Empathy helps in retaining talent. When good
people leave, they take the Company’s
knowledge with them. Coaching and
Mentoring demonstrates Empathy in action.

27.  Social Skills : The use of influencing skills such
as persuasion , good communication with
others, including employees , listening skills,
negotiation, cooperation, dispute resolution ,
ability to inspire and lead others, capacity to
initiate and manage change and ability to deal
with others’ emotions--- particularly group
emotions . Managing relationships to move
people in desired directions. Proficiency in
building networks, an ability to find common
ground and build rapport

28.  Hall marks of Social Skills: Effectiveness in leading
change, Persuasiveness, Extensive networking and
expertise in building and leading teams
 Examples of Social Skills:-
 A manager wants his company to adopt a better
internet strategy. He finds kindred spirits and
assembles a De Facto team to create a prototype
website. He persuades allies in other divisions to
fund the Company’s participation in a relevant
convention. His company forms an internet
division– and puts him in charge of it.

29.  Two Measurement Tools are based on Goleman
Model:-
(1) Emotional Competency Inventory (ECI) created in
1999, and the Emotional & Social Competency
Inventory (ECSI), a newer version of ECI was
developed in 2007.There is also an University
Edition (ECSI-U) of the Index. These tools provide
a behavioral measure of the Emotional & Social
Competencies.
(2) Emotional Intelligence Appraisal was created in
2001, which can be taken as a self report or 360
degree assessment.

30. (1) You are on an airplane that suddenly hits
extremely bad turbulence and begins rocking from
side to side. What do you do ?
A. Continue reading your book or magazine or watch
a movie, trying to pay little attention to the
turbulence
B. Become Vigilant for an Emergency, carefully
listening to the Air Hostesses and reading
Emergency Instructions
C. Do a little of both A & B.
D. Not Sure. Never Noticed.

31. (2) You are attending a Meeting. You find that a Colleague of
yours is taking credit for the work that you have done. What
do you do ?
A . Immediately and Publicly Confront your Colleague over the
Ownership of the Work done.
B . After the meeting, take the Colleague aside and tell him that
you would appreciate in future that he gives due credit to
you when speaking about your work.
C . Do Nothing. It does not appear to you to be a good Idea to
embarrass your Colleagues in public.
D .After the Colleague speaks, publicly thank her for
referencing your work and give the group more specific
details about what you were trying to accomplish

32. (3) You are a Customer Service Representative of your
Company and just got a Telephone Call from an
extremely angry Client about your Product Quality.
What Do You Do ?
A . Hang up. It does not pay to take abuse from anyone.
B . Listen to the Client and rephrase what you think he is
feeling.
C . Explain to the Client that he is being unfair, that you
are only trying to do your job & taking down his
complaint & would appreciate he cooperates to note
down the complaint for further action.
D. Tell the Client how frustrating this must be for him,
and offer a specific time frame within which his
complaint will get resolved.

33. (4) You are a College Student who has taken the B.Sc. Mid Term
College Examination. Good Grade in B.Sc. Exams will
further your career Prospects. You were expecting Grade A
for your Performance in one paper, but got only a C Grade.
What do you Do ?
A. Sketch out a Specific Plan for ways to improve your Grade in
the paper and resolve to follow through.
B. Decide that you do not have the Capacity to further your
career and blame your fate for the poor performance.
C. Tell yourself it does not matter how much you study the
Paper, and concentrate on other courses which may fetch
higher grade.
D. Go & Meet the Professor and try to argue with him why you
deserved a better grade

34. (5) You are a Manager in an Organization that is trying to
encourage Caste & Ethnic Diversity. You overhear
someone telling a Joke denigrating a Particular Caste.
What Do You Do ?
A. Ignore it– the Best ways to deal with these things is not
to react.
B. Call the Person to your Office and Explain that his
Behavior is inappropriate and will be ground for
Disciplinary/ Criminal Action if repeated.
C. Speak up on the spot telling that such jokes are
inappropriate and will not be tolerated in your
Organization
D. Suggest to the Person telling the Joke that he needs
training

35. (6) You are an Insurance Salesman calling on
prospective Clients. You have met 15 Clients, but
could not sell the Policy to any of them . What Do
You Do ?
A. Call it a Day and go back home early to avoid Rush
Hour Traffic.
B. Try something new when you call on the Next
Client and Keep on with your Effort.
C. List your Strengths & Weaknesses to analyze what
is undermining your ability to sell.
D. Look at Your Resume Closely and sharpen up
listing your significant achievements.

36. (7) You are trying to calm down a Colleague who has
worked himself into a fury because the Driver of
another Car has come dangerously close in front of
his car. What Do you Do ?
A. Tell him to forget about it– He is OK now and it is
no big deal.
B. Put on one of her favorite songs and try to distract
her.
C. Join her in criticizing the other Driver.
D. Tell him about a similar incident from your past
and how angry you were, till you saw the other
Driver being taken to the Hospital.

37. (8) A discussion between you and your Live in Partner has
escalated into a shouting match . You are both terribly
upset and in the heat of argument, you start making
Personal attacks on her which neither of you really
mean. What is the Best thing to do ?
A. Agree to take a 20 minute Break before continuing the
Discussion.
B. Go Silent, Regardless of what your Partner says.
C. Say you are sorry, and ask your Partner to apologize
too.
D. Stop for a Moment, Collect your thoughts and then
restate your side of the case as precisely as possible.

38. (9) You have been given the task of managing a Team that
has been unable to come up with a creative solution to
a Problem at work. What is the First thing that you do ?
A. Draw up an Agenda, call a Meeting and allot a specific
period of time to discuss each item.
B. Organize an Off site meeting aimed specifically at
encouraging the team to get to know each other better.
C. Begin by asking each person individually for ideas
about how to solve the Problem.
D. Start out with a Brainstorming Session, encouraging
each person to say whatever comes to his mind, no
matter how wild.

39. (10) You have recently been assigned a Young Manager in
your Team, and you notice that he appears to be
unable to make the simplest of decisions without
seeking advice from you. What Do You Do ?
A. Accept that he does not have in him the qualities to
succeed in your team and find others in your team to
take on his tasks.
B. Get an HR Manager to talk to him about where he sees
his future in the Organization.
C. Purposely give him lots of Complex Decisions to make
so that he will become more confident in the Role
D. Engineer an ongoing series of Challenging but
manageable Experiences for him, and make yourself
available to act as his mentor.

40. (1) 10 Points for A or B or C. Nil for D
(2) B-5 Points, D- 10 Points
(3) B- 5 Points, D- 10 Points
(4) A- 10 Points, C- 5 Points
(5) B- 5 Points, C-10 Points, D- 5 Points
(6) B- 10 Points, C- 5 Points
(7) C- 5 Points, D- 10 Points
(8) A- 10 Points
(9) B- 10 Points, D- 5 Points
(10) B- 5 Points, D- 10 Points

41.  IQ helps you get the Job, but EQ helps you succeed
at the Job.
 IQ measures the ability to learn & understand. But
EQ measures your Emotional/Logical Skills
 IQ tries to convince someone by Facts. EQ tries to
convince by emotional appeal & reasoning.
 IQ is Book smart. EQ is Heart smart.
 IQ gets you through School. EQ gets you through
Life.
 IQ is at the mercy of Emotions. EQ understands &
manages Emotions

42.  Research shows that Emotional Intelligence can
be learned although it has a Genetic
Component
 Emotional Intelligence is born largely in the
neurotransmitters of the Brain’s limbic system
which governs feelings, impulses and drives.
Limbic system learns through motivation,
extended practice & feedback. Programs must
help people break old behavioral habits and
establish new ones.

43.  Consider an Executive Low on Empathy by her
colleagues . She does not listen to people,
interrupts them and does not pay attention .
First of all she must be motivated to change. A
Colleague/Coach could be engaged to know
when she fails to listen properly. She could
replay the incident for better response. She
could also observe other Executives with
significant Empathy interacting with others.

44.  One Wall Street Executive Low on Empathy
could not gauge other peoples’ reaction
properly and see their perspective. His
Subordinates were terrified of working with
him. His family also had similar reactions . He
started feed back process with a Coach. He
took a Vacation to a Foreign land where he
could not speak the Language. He monitored
reactions of people in unfamiliar land and
came back after a week.

45.  After returning, he asked his Coach to follow
him like a shadow. The Coach gave him his
views on his listening to others. He also
consciously tried to hear others’ views different
from his own and analyze them . He also
videotaped entire conversations with others
and asked others to point out his deficiencies .
He also saw the Tapes closely to see his own
reactions & shortcomings.

46.  After some months, there was perceptible
difference in his Empathetic approach to others
and his overall performance on the job improved
significantly.
 Building One’s Emotional Intelligence can not
happen without concerted effort. Mere attending
Seminars will not help. There is no How to Do
Manual for this. This requires Hard Work
 “Nothing Great was ever achieved without
Enthusiasm”--- says Ralph Waldo Emerson. If you
want to become a Leader, Learn to internalize
Empathy.

47.  Self Assessment– Explore your Attitudes and
Behavior
 Self Awareness--- Identify your current skill
levels
 Self Knowledge– Understand your Skill Levels
 Self Development– Learn-use self directed
Coaching & Mentoring to learn the skills
 Self Improvement—Apply, Practice & Develop
the Skills

48. (1) Emotional Intelligence does not mean merely “Being
Nice”. For Example, Bluntly confronting someone with
an uncomfortable but consequential truth they have
been avoiding
(2) Emotional Intelligence does not mean giving free rein
to your feelings. It means managing feelings so that
they are expressed appropriately and effectively,
enabling people to work together smoothly towards
their common goal
(3) Levels of Emotional Intelligence are not fixed
genetically nor does it develop in early childhood.
Unlike IQ, which changes little after teen years, EI can
be learned later in life. It continues to develop
throughout life, as we learn from our experiences

49.  Given the emphasis schools and admission
tests put on IQ, it is surprising how little it
contributes to achievements at work or in life
 When IQ test scores are correlated with how
well people perform in their careers, the
highest of how much difference IQ accounts for
is 25%. This means IQ at best leaves 75% of job
success unexplained
 The abilities that distinguish the outstanding
supervisors in Technical fields are not
technical, but rather relate to handling people.

50.  Two Students--- Penn & Matt. Penn was a
Brilliant and Creative Student, an exemplar of
the best Yale University had to offer. The
trouble with Penn was that he knew he was
exceptional--- and so, as one Professor put it,
“unbelievably arrogant”. Even so, he looked
spectacular on paper. When he graduated,
naturally he was highly sought after and got a
lot of invitations for job interviews. But Penn’s
arrogance came across all too clearly at
interviews, and he ended with one job offer
from a second tier outfit.

51.  Matt, on the other hand, was not academically
brilliant like Penn. But he was adept
interpersonally. Everyone who worked with
him liked him . Matt ended up with seven job
offers out of eight interviews and went on to
success in his field, while Penn was let go after
two years at his first job . What Penn lacked
and Matt had in abundant measure is the levels
of Emotional Intelligence i.e. Emotional
Competence.

52.  Emotional Competence is a learned capability
based on Emotional Intelligence that results in
outstanding performance at work. It
determines our potential for learning the
practical skills that are based on Daniel
Goleman’s Five elements, i.e. Self awareness,
Motivation, Self Regulation, Empathy and
Adeptness in Relationships, the first three
being elements of Emotional Competence and
the last two of Social Competence.

53.  Our performance on the job shows how much
of the Emotional & Social Competence we
possess and translate into on the job
capabilities. For example, being good at serving
customers is based on emotional & social
competency of Empathy. Likewise,
trustworthiness is a competence based on Self
Regulation or handling impulses and emotions
well. Both Customer Service and
Trustworthiness are competencies that can
make people outstanding in their work.

54.  Simply being high on Emotional Intelligence does not
guarantee that a person will have learned the
Emotional & social competencies that matter for work.
It only means that they have excellent potential to learn
them
 Emotional & Social Competence is particularly central
to leadership. A Role whose essence is getting others to
do their jobs more effectively . Interpersonal ineptitude
in leaders lowers everyone’s performance. It wastes
time & creates acrimony. It corrodes motivation &
commitment and builds hostility & apathy. A Leader’s
strengths or weaknesses in emotional and social
competencies can be measured in the gain or loss to the
Organization of the fullest talents of those they manage

55.  Claudio Fernandez-Aaroz, in charge of Executive
Searches throughout Latin America from Egon
Zehnder International’s Buenos Aires Office,
compared 227 highly successful executives with 23
who failed in their jobs. He found that the
Managers who failed were almost high in
Expertise and IQ . He found that in every case, the
fatal weakness was in Emotional & Social
Competency--- arrogance, over reliance on
brainpower, inability to adapt to the occasionally
disorienting economic shifts in that region and
disdain for collaboration or teamwork.

56.  A Physician was one offered a Business Proposition . If
he would leave his practice to become Medical Director
of a fledgling condominium health resort and invest
US$ 1,00,000/- of his own capital in the venture, his
projected share of the Business would amount to about
US$ 4 Million within three years. He liked the idea of a
Resort where people could improve their health as they
vacationed, coupled with the lure of a possibly
fantastic payoff he could not resist. He sold his Medical
Practice, invested in the Resort and became its Medical
Director. But during the Start up year, he found that
there was no Medical Program to direct yet. Thus he
ended up spending his days essentially as a Salesman,
trying to interest people in buying time share condos at
the Resort.

57.  Credit Managers must sense when a deal might go bad
even if the numbers look fine . The Executive may have
to decide whether a new product is worth the time
and money it takes to develop . The Executive Search
Committee must make an educated guess about who
among a field of Candidates for a job will have the best
chemistry for working in a Group . All such decisions
demand the capacity to fold into the decision making
process our intuitive sense of what is right or wrong.
Intuition & gut feeling bespeak the capacity to sense
messages from our internal store of emotional
memory--- our own reservoir of wisdom & judgment.
This ability lies at the heart of self awareness.

58.  Recognizing One’s Emotions and their
Feelings– People with this competence know
which emotions they are feeling and why.
Realize the links between their feelings and
what they think, do and say. Recognize how
their feelings affect their performance. Have a
guiding awareness of their values and goals.
Before you approach your Boss about making
some representations, do you not ask his
Private Secretary, “ How is the Boss’s mood
today ?”

59.  In our Twenties and Thirties and into early Forties,
we have urgent drive to establish ourselves and
make our mark in this world. But in our Mid
Forties and early Fifties, people typically re-
evaluate their goals, because they often come to
this radical realization that the span of life is
limited and they may not get enough time to
accomplish what they want from life . With this
acknowledgement, comes a reconsideration of
what really matters to them. As the saying goes, “If
you do not know where you are going, any road
will get you there.”The less aware we are of what
makes us passionate, the more lost we will be .
And this drifting can even affect our health.

60.  People who feel that their skills are not being used
well on the job or who feel that their work is
repetitive and boring, have a higher risk of Heart
Disease than those who feel that their best skills
are expressed in their work.
 Hence one should be able to self assess, knowing
his strengths and weaknesses. One should be
reflective, learning from his experience, open to
candid feedback, continuous learning and self
development.
 One should be able to show a sense of humor and
perspective about himself

61.  One should be Self Confident and present
himself with self assurance and make his
presence felt.
 He can voice even unpopular views and go out
on a limb for what is right
 He should be decisive and able to make sound
decisions despite uncertainties & pressures.

62.  Emotional Self regulation includes not just
damping down distress or stifling impulse. It
can also mean intentionally eliciting an
emotion, even an unpleasant one . Some
Municipal Bill Collectors prime themselves for
calls on people by getting themselves worked
up into an irritable, ill tempered state.
Physicians who have to give bad news to
patients or their families put themselves into a
suitably somber, dour mood, as do morticians
meeting with bereaved families.

63.  But best of all, working up changes in
emotional states is satisfactory if the need for
such a change is relative to work we love to do.
For a Nurse who sees self as a caring,
compassionate person, taking few moments to
console a patient in distress represents not a
burden but what makes her job more
meaningful

64.  Self Regulation means managing impulse as well
as distressing feelings. It depends on the working
of the Emotional Centers in tandem with the
brain’s executive centers in the prefrontal areas .
These two primal skills--- handling Impulse and
dealing with upsets are at the core of Five
Emotional Competencies, i.e. Self Control–
Managing Disruptive Emotions and Impulses
Effectively, Trustworthiness– Displaying Honesty
& Integrity, Conscientiousness—Dependability &
responsibility in fulfilling obligations,
Adaptability– Flexibility in handling change and
challenges, Innovation---Being open to novel ideas,
approaches and new information.

65.  Joe Kramer can fix anything. A Welder, he helped
assemble Railroad Cars in Chicago . The person
everyone calls on when any piece of machinery breaks
down. He loves the challenge of finding out what
makes a machine work. This he started as a boy, fixing
his mother’s Toaster and Grinder in the kitchen and
from there, he can not stop tinkering with machines
and find out how they tick or how to deal with them
when they conk out . He is an example of people who
find their work exhilarating– and who perform at their
best. The key to that exhilaration is not the task itself–
Joe’s job is often routine– but the special state of mind
he creates as he works– a state called “Flow”. He flows
with the job . Flow moves people to do their work, no
matter what work they do.

66.  Flow blossoms when our skills are fully
engaged. The Challenge absorbs us so much
that we lose ourselves in our work, becoming
so totally concentrated we may feel out of time
and do not realize that time is passing while we
do the work. In this state, we seem to handle
everything effortlessly, nimbly adapting to
shifting demands.
 Flow itself is a pleasure and the ultimate
motivator

67.  People in flow often make the difficult look
easy, an external appearance that mirrors what
is happening in their brain . Flow poses a
Neural Paradox.
 We can be engaged in an exceptionally
demanding task, yet our brain is operating
with a minimal level of activity or expenditure
of energy
 The reason is that when we are bored and
apathetic or frenzied with anxiety, our brain
activity is diffused

68.  The Brain itself is at a high level of activation,
albeit poorly focused, with brain cells firing in
far flung and irrelevant ways.
 But during Flow, the brain appears efficient
and precise in its pattern of firing
 The result is an overall lowering of cortical
arousal– even though the person may be
engaged in an extremely challenging task.

69.  People with Achievement Drive are results
oriented, with a high drive to meet their
objectives and standards
 They set challenging goals and take calculated
risks
 They Pursue information to reduce uncertainty
and find ways to do better and learn how to
improve their performance

70.  People with Commitment readily make
sacrifices to meet larger Organizational Goals
 They find a sense of purpose in the larger
mission
 They use Group’s Core Values in making
decisions and clarifying choices
 They actively seek out opportunities to fulfill
the Group’s mission

71.  “ Mortals can keep no secret. If their lips are
silent, they gossip with their fingertips;
betrayal forces its way through every pore.”—
Sigmund Freud
 Sensing what others feel without their saying
so captures the essence of Empathy
 Others rarely tell us in words what they feel;
instead, they tell us in their tone of voice, facial
expression, through their eyes or other non
verbal ways

72.  The ability to sense these subtle communications builds
on more basic competencies, especially self awareness
and self control. Without the ability to sense our own
feelings or to keep them from swamping us– we will be
hopelessly out of touch with the moods of others
 Empathy is our social ladder. Lacking such sensitivity,
people are “off”. Being emotionally stone deaf leads to
social awkwardness, whether from misconstruing
feelings or through a mechanical, out of tune bluntness
or indifference that destroys rapport
 One form this lack of empathy can take is responding
to other people as stereotypes rather than as
individuals that they are

73.  People with this competence are attentive to
emotional cues and listen well. They show
sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives.
They help out based on understanding other
peoples’ needs and feelings
 Listening well & deeply means going beyond what
is said by asking questions, restating in one’s own
words what you hear to be sure you understand. A
mark of having truly heard someone else is to
respond appropriately, even if that means making
some change in what you do

74.  Those with little power are typically expected
to sense the feelings of those who hold power.
Those in power feel less obligation to be
sensitive in return . In other words, the studied
lack of empathy is a way power holders can
tacitly assert their authority. But this may hold
less true today since more organizations are
becoming more team oriented and less stiffly
hierarchical. Thus the demands of Modern
Leadership now include competence at
empathy. The authoritarian style of the past
just does not work as well as it once did.

75.  Acknowledge and reward peoples’ strength
and accomplishments. Offer useful feedback
and identify peoples’ needs for future growth.
 Mentor, give timely coaching, and offer
assignments that challenge and foster a
Person’s Skills
 Art of Influence entails handling emotions
effectively in other people . Star performers are
artful at sending emotional signals, which
makes them powerful communicators, able to
sway an audience. In short, they are leaders

76.  We influence each other’s moods. Influencing
another person’s emotional state for better or
for worse is perfectly natural . We do it
constantly, catching “emotions” from one
another like some kind of social virus. This
emotional exchange constitutes an invisible
interpersonal economy, part of every human
interaction, but it is usually too subtle to notice.

77.  Emotions as a signaling system needs no words---
a fact evolutionary theorists see as one reason
emotions may have played a crucial role in the
development of the human brain long before
words became a symbolic tool for humans
 People with influencing capability are skilled at
winning people over. They fine tune their
presentations to appeal to the listener. They use
complex strategies like indirect influence to build
consensus and support. They orchestrate dramatic
events to effectively make a point

78.  It is difficult to have a positive impact on others
without first sensing how they feel and understanding
their position. People who are poor at reading
emotional cues and inept at social interactions are very
poor at influence. Hence building rapport is the first
step for wielding influence
 People with good communication capabilities are
effective in give and take, registering emotional cues in
attuning their message. They deal with difficult issues
straightforwardly. They listen well, seek mutual
understanding and welcome sharing of information
fully. They foster open communication and stay
receptive to bad news as well as good.

79.  Handle difficult people and tense situations with
diplomacy and tact. They spot potential conflict,
bring disagreements into the open and help
deescalate the situation. They encourage debate
and open discussion and orchestrate win- win
situations.
 First Calm down, tune in to your feelings and
express them. Show a willingness to work things
out by talking over the issue rather than escalating
it with more aggression. State your point of view
in neutral language rather than in an
argumentative tone. Try to find equitable way of
resolving the dispute, working together to find a
resolution both sides can embrace

80.  Leadership is inspiring and guiding
Individuals & Groups to attain a Common
Goal . Leaders are articulate and arouse
enthusiasm for a shared Vision & Mission.
They step forward to lead as needed,
regardless of position . They guide the
performance of others while holding them
accountable. They lead by example
 Leadership demand toughness at times. The art
of leadership entails knowing when to be
assertive.

81.  While confronting someone directly about his performance lapses.
 When taking tough decisions in view of adverse situations facing
the Organizations. The Leader has to tell people what to do and
hold them for their obligations
 A common failing of leaders from supervisors to top executives, is
the failure to be emphatically assertive when necessary
 One obstacle to such assertiveness is passivity, as can happen
when some one is more concerned about being liked than getting
the job done right. People who are extremely uncomfortable with
confrontation or anger are also often reluctant to take an assertive
stance even when it is called for
 Most effective Leaders use their emotional radar to sense how
others are reacting and they fine tune their response to push the
interaction in the best direction

82.  Today organizations are reshuffling, divesting,
merging, acquiring, flattening hierarchies,
going global. The acceleration of change
through the 1900s has made the ability to lead
it a newly ascendant competence. In addition
to high levels of self confidence at such pace,
effective change leaders should have high
levels of Influence, Commitment, Motivation,
Initiative, Optimism and instinct for
Organizational Politics to see organizations
through such change

83.  Humans are the primordial team players. Our
uniquely complex social relationships have been a
crucial survival advantage. Our uniquely
sophisticated talent for cooperation culminates in
the Modern Organization. The crucial role of
cooperation in evolution is part of a radical
rethinking of just what the famous phrase
“survival of the fittest” means. One modern legacy
of this past is the radar for friendliness and
cooperation most of us have. People gravitate to
those who show signs of good qualities . We also
have a strong warning device or system that alerts
us to someone who may be selfish or
untrustworthy.

84.  John Seely Brown, the Chief Scientist at Xerox
Corporation and a Cognitive Theorist, points
out that the crucial nature of social
coordination is perhaps nowhere more evident
than in today’s scientific enterprises, where
cutting edge knowledge grows through
orchestrated, collaborative efforts. The art of
making an impact through people is the ability
to pull people together, attract colleagues to
work and create the critical mass for research.

85.  Once you have done that, there is the next
question, “How do you engage the rest of the
Corporation ?”, “How do you get the message
out and convert the rest of the world ?” To
communicate is not just a matter of pushing
information to another person. It is creating an
experience, to engage their gut--- and that is an
emotional skill.

86.  Happiness is the ability to feel satisfied with
your life and to enjoy yourself and others and
have fun
 Happiness combines self satisfaction, general
contentment and ability to enjoy life.
Contentment is the real source of happiness.
 Happiness is general feeling of cheerfulness
and enthusiasm. It is a barometric indicator of
degree of Emotional Intelligence & Emotional
Functioning.

87.  What makes the team perform better than the best
person on it ? Outstanding team performance
raises the Group IQ. The sum total of the best
talents of each member on a team contributed to
their fullest. When teams operate at their at their
best, the results can be more than simply additive.
They can be multiplicative with the best talents of
one person catalyzing the best of another and
another, to produce results far beyond what any
one person might have done. The explanation of
this aspect of team performance lies in the
member’s relationships--- in the chemistry
between members

88.  Building Bonds means nurturing Instrumental
Relationships. For this, one has to cultivate and
maintain extensive informal networks. One has to
seek out relationships that are mutually beneficial.
One has to build rapport and keep others in the
loop. He has to make and maintain personal
friendships among work associates.
 Marks & Spencer, the huge British retail Chain,
gives an unusual gift to its regular suppliers, a
special key card that lets them into the Chain’s
Head Office anytime. Although they still have to
make appointments, the Key Card makes them feel
like members of the Marks & Spencer Family

89.  The Key Card is part of an intentional effort of
Marks & Spencer to nurture a relationship of
trust and cooperation with its suppliers. That
effort also includes trips with suppliers to
Trade Shows and to other countries to visit
sources of raw materials. The Goal is to
strengthen mutual understanding and to spot
new possibilities for products they can jointly
develop.

90.  For this, one has to balance a focus on task with
attention to relationships He must collaborate,
sharing plan, information and resources. He
should promote a friendly and cooperative
climate. He should spot opportunities for
collaboration. In the complex world of today,
the art of collaboration and cooperation is the
way forward to maximize opportunities for
growth.

91.  When a client displayed anxiety or uneasiness,
the common wisdom in the insurance industry
held that the best response was not empathy,
but a rational argument . So the Advisers were
left trying to shut out the Client’s emotions as
well as their own. In short, the feelings rolling
within clients and planners alike set a
miserable emotional tone for their encounter,
as a final report put it. “ A Mountain of
Emotional Negativity stood between our Sales
Process & our Bottom Line.”

92.  At an International Business Conference,
participants were asked, “ Does your Organization
have a Mission Statement ?”. About Two thirds
raised their hands. Then they were asked, “Does
this Mission Statement describe the Day to Day
reality of life there ?” all but a few raised their
hands. An Emotionally Intelligent Organization
needs to come to terms with any disparities
between the values it proclaims and those it lives.
Clarity about an Organization’s values, spirit and
mission leads to a decisive self-confidence in
corporate decision making.

93.  An Organizations’ Collective level of
Emotional Intelligence determines the degree
to which that Organization’s intellectual capital
is realized– and so its overall performance. The
art of maximizing intellectual capital lies in
orchestrating the interactions of the people
whose minds hold that knowledge and
expertise. When it comes to technical skills and
core competencies that makes a Company
Competitive, the ability to outperform others
depend on the relationships of the people
involved.

94.  Emotional Intelligence can be learned.
Individually, we can add these skills to our tool
kit for survival at a time when job stability
seems like a quaint oxymoron. For businesses
of all kinds, the fact that Emotional
Competencies can be assessed and improved
suggests another area in which performance ---
and so competitiveness--- can be upgraded.
What is needed amounts to an Emotional
Competence Tune up for the Corporation.