2. OVERVIEW
What's the Big Problem?
− She doesn't feel about you the way
you feel about her
Answer: The Emotional Activation System
Why & How the Emotional Activation
System Works
− The Neuroscience of mirror
neurons
Result: Make Her Feel How You Feel
3. BACKGROUND
I was once like you...
Robert Greene's Art of Seduction and the
character of the Rake
− “When he desires a woman, brief
though that moment may be, he will
go to the ends of the earth for her.”
− His greatest weakness is his
overwhelming love of women.
Paradoxically, that is also his
greatest strength.
4. THE POWER OF THE RAKE
− “When he pursues a woman, he really is aglow
with desire; the 'victim' senses this and is
inflamed, even despite herself.”
− “The Ardent Rake teaches us a simple lesson:
intense desire has a distracting power on a
woman, just as the Siren's physical presence
does on a man.”
− Advanced Rake: “The key is to show no
hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let
yourself go, to show that you cannot control
yourself and are fundamentally weak... This is
the perfect cover for a seducer.”
5. REAL RAKES IN
HISTORY
Examples of great seducers employing the
Emotional Activation System
− Don Juan. Valmont in Dangerous
Liaisons. Prince Niou in The Tale of
Genji. Jia Baoyu in Dream of the Red
Chamber. Lord Byron. The Duke de
Richelieu. Pablo Picasso. Elvis. Bill
Clinton. Robbie Williams. Russell
Brand (“The best natural I've ever
seen”--Neil Strauss).
6. DISCOVERING
THE SECRET
Field testing the Method of the Rake
Discovery of Why & How the Emotional
Activation System Works
Mirror Neurons
− Daniel Goleman's Emotional
Inte"igence and Social Inte"igence
Field testing it with clients
7. DOWN & DIRTY ON
HOW IT WORKS
The Emotional Activation System builds on:
− Emotional intelligence (knowing what you're honestly
feeling and being able to articulate it, and then being able
to infer what others are feeling)
− Knowing what the Ideal Man ought to feel
− Being HONEST with yourself about your imperfect
feelings or any shortcomings
− Being content with who you are
8. WHAT ELSE CAN THE EMOTIONAL
ACTIVATION SYSTEM DO?
Great for turning her into your new
girlfriend
Great for getting sexual very fast
Great for developing assertiveness
9. RECAP I
Discovery of the Power of the Rake
Real Rakes in History
Quick overview of how and why the
Emotional Activation System works
What the Emotional Activation System can
do
10. THE SCIENCE OF
SUB-COMMUNICATIONS
Attraction is intuitive and driven by feelings
− Attraction is not governed by rationality or logic
− Myth of verbal “game” (UCLA study)
Over 90% of attraction comes from rapid, unconscious
cognitions, e.g., split-second judgments
We only have conscious access to less than 10% of our
mental processes
11. BLINK AND THIN-SLICING
Malcolm Gladwell's Blink
− Tennis coach Vic Braden can predict double faults to
within 95% accuracy but doesn't know why
− Andre Agassi saying he uses his wrist to roll the racket
over the ball on a forehand
− Ted Williams saying he looks the ball onto the bat
Academic research shows we really don't know why we make
most of our judgments
12. IF NO CONSCIOUS CONTROL, THEN
WHAT CAN WE DO?
Micro-managing sub-communications is
nearly impossible, especially in the short-
term
What drives the sub-communications?
− Mental and emotional states
13. THE SCIENCE OF MICRO
EXPRESSIONS
Micro expressions (Ekman & Friesen)
− Whatever emotion we are experiencing, it is
automatically expressed by the muscles in the
face and body
Emotional feedback loop
− Inside out (Control your emotions)
Emotional Activation (much more
effective)
− Outside in (Control your physical body)
Body language, tonality, words, etc.
14. THE SCIENCE OF
MIRROR NEURONS
Daniel Goleman's Social Inte"igence
− Amygdala (most primitive part of brain)
unconsciously extracts emotional meaning from
nonverbal images
Nervous mannerisms and twitches, the
resigned slouch of defeat, the sensuality of
a sexy smile, etc.
Bypasses brain's verbal processing areas
Primes reciprocal feelings
16. SCIENCE OF EMOTIONAL
CONTAGION
The amygdala instantly reacts to such a photo; the
stronger the emotion displayed, the more intense
the amygdala's reaction
− “When people looked at such photos while
undergoing an fMRI, their own brains looked
like they were the frightened ones.”
“Mirror neurons ensure that the moment someone
sees an emotion expressed on your face, they will at
once sense that same feeling within themselves.”
17. APPLYING THE SCIENCE
By generating the desired state in yourself, you
induce the desired state in others
Bi%est Problem of the Lovelorn: He feels the wrong
mix of emotions and thus transfers the wrong
emotions to her
Solution: The Emotional Activation System
The Good News: Micromanaging your sub-
communications is impossible, but you CAN
manage your emotional states and transfer them to
others using the Emotional Activation System
18. RECAP II
Sub-communications
Thin-slicing
Micro expressions
Mirror neurons
Emotional contagion
Applying the science
19. LEARNING THE
EMOTIONAL ACTIVATION SYSTEM
Required Components
− 1. Vocabulary of emotion terms
− 2. Identify and Distinguish your emotions
− 3. Express your emotions
− 4. Correct inappropriate emotions by:
a) Questioning interpretations
b) Reframing interpretations
c) Conditioning the unconscious mind
− 5. Amplify the feeling of your emotions
20. 1. WHAT ARE
EMOTIONS?
Emotion = Feeling tone + Interpretation
− e.g., Emotion of fear on seeing a snake requires
the judgment that the snake is dangerous and has
potential to harm
Control your emotions through manipulating your
interpretations
− The importance of “frame” (the lens by which you
see and interpret events)
e.g., Screening frame. “She wants me”
frame. “I'm the prize” frame.
21. 2. IDENTIFY AND DISTINGUISH
YOUR EMOTIONS
Ekman on at least seven universal human
emotions: fear, sadness, anger, joy, surprise,
contempt, and disgust.
Confronting your emotions requires
HONESTY (a great aphrodisiac)
Practice asking yourself WHY you feel the
emotion
− Look for the interpretations leading
to the feelings
23. EMOTIONS AND
THOUGHTS
Increasing the terms and categories you use for expressing
emotions => increases your knowledge of and facility over
them
Always ask yourself WHY you have that feeling to unearth
the unconscious interpretations leading to it
− Once you understand your judgments and
interpretations, then you can change your
emotional responses
24. HOW DO MOST PEOPLE
HANDLE EMOTIONS?
Avoidance
− Mainly unconscious
Denial
− Especially prevalent among those from
traditional, conservative moral or religious
backgrounds
Wallowing
Instead, learn the Emotional Activation System to take
charge of your emotions
25. 3. IDENTIFY AND
EXPRESS
Be completely honest with yourself
What emotion(s) are you really feeling?
What beliefs, judgments, or interpretations
led to the feeling?
26. 4A. QUESTION YOUR
INTERPRETATIONS
What are the judgments? Are they valid?
− Emotion = Insecurity
− Interpretation = I'm too skinny for her to be attracted to me
− Questioning the judgment = Is it possible for her to be attracted to
a skinny guy?
If “Yes,” then believe your research findings
If “No,” then is the problem fixable?
− If “Yes,” then start fixing it
− If “No,” then proceed to next step
27. 4B. REFRAME YOUR
INTERPRETATIONS
If you can't change the situation, then you must reframe it
Emotion = Insecurity
Judgment = I'm too short for her to be
attracted to me
Questioning the judgment = Is it possible
for her to be attracted to guys shorter than
her?
− “Yes, but the research findings show
that it is improbable.”
− Then Reframe
28. REFRAMING
INTERPRETATIONS II
The shorter the man, the stronger he must
be on other variables in order to hold a
taller woman
I will have to compensate by being stronger
in other areas
Women are much more attracted to
personality than to physical appearance
(questioning)
29. 4C. CONDITIONING THE
UNCONSCIOUS MIND
Help feeling catch up to rational thought
Cut out sensory stimuli reinforcing the false belief (pop
media, negative people, etc.)
Fill up your senses with stimuli reinforcing the desired
belief
− E.g., Insecurity over height
Cut out pop media, negative people, etc.
Replace with correct movies, books,
posters, internet images & video, people
30. RECAP III
Emotion's two components
Naming emotions
Identifying and express emotions
Questioning the interpretations
Reframing the interpretations
Conditioning the unconscious mind
31. PROGRESS &
CONTENTMENT
Progress toward the Ideal over time
The Paradoxical Secret Power: Keep
improving yourself, but be content with
yourself and your progress
Need knowledge of how you SHOULD be
feeling to calibrate how you are
CURRENTLY feeling
32. THE IDEAL MAN
Based on Evolutionary Science & Psychology
− Summarized in David Buss, The Evolution of
Desire
Wealth, Status, Ambition &
Industriousness, Physical Prowess (size,
strength, and health), and Intelligence (as
reliable predictor of economic prowess)
Women unconsciously choose men with
these traits
But most of all: GOOD FEELINGS
33. ULTIMATE VALUE:
GOOD FEELINGS
Attraction, Love, Desire, Arousal, Affection are all
FEELINGS
− 99% of people do not know how to control their
feelings
Be the Man who gives her Good Feelings
− Undercut the Bigger Better Deal (who competes
on conventional factors of wealth, status, and
looks)
− Shortcut to Good Feelings through the
Emotional Activation System
34. CHARACTER OF
THE IDEAL MAN
The Ideal Man gives her good feelings naturally because of
his character
Five Traits
Confidence
− Shows her you can get the job done
Dependability and Stability
You can handle bad situations in life
You can provide for her and her family
She infers competence and experience
35. I. EASYGOING
CONFIDENCE
Easygoing
− They are not uptight or anxious
− They don’t take themselves too seriously.
They readily laugh at themselves and are the
first to chuckle at their own foibles.
− While they are able to discern when and how
to be serious about grave topics and to
appreciate the consequences of their actions
and decisions, they still see the humor in
everyday situations, especially when these
situations involve themselves.
36. II. ASSERTIVE
CONFIDENCE
Assertiveness
− They are not push-overs
− They speak up for themselves and those under
their leadership. In social settings, they are
friendly and cordial but also dominant and
commanding.
− They do not hide behind a false modesty. Rather,
they believe that others, including their seniors,
want to hear their ideas.
− They do not tolerate disrespect from others.
− They are persistent in pursuit of their goals.
− They freely approach women they want to meet.
37. III. LEADERSHIP
Leadership
− They are not passive followers.
− They have trained themselves to weigh the
relevant factors, make snap decisions, and deal
with the consequences.
− While they may have formal recognition through
rank, status, or position, they do not rely on
external recognition to inspire and lead others.
− They take into account the opinions and desires
of others, but ultimately, they draw their own
conclusions and waste no time in doing so.
38. IV. SEXUAL
Sexual
− They are not immature schoolboys.
− They are not judgmental or closed-minded.
− These men have no sexual hang-ups and are
comfortable with their views on sex and sexuality.
− They are secure in their own self-image and with
their bodies.
− They are at ease in talking with women about
sexual subjects.
39. V. ADVENTUROUS
Adventurous
− They are not boring or predictable.
− They are not afraid of danger.
− They welcome calculated risk.
− They are unpredictable and have a love of
spontaneous fun.
− They live life to the hilt and push experiences to
the edge.
− Their lives are full of PASSION.
40. FROM CURRENT TO
IDEAL
Continually improve
But the secret is: Be content with the
progress you're making in life
If you aren't, then set goals, make plans,
and take action to become your Ideal Self
41. RECAP IV
Progress and contentment
The Ideal Man
Good feelings as the ultimate value
The character of the Ideal Man
− Easygoing. Assertive. Leadership.
Sexual. Adventurous.
42. HOW TO MAKE HER FEEL
HOW YOU FEEL
Identifying current emotions
Calibrate with what Ideal Man would feel
(if necessary)
Intensify good feelings while maintaining
proximity and looking into her eyes
43. 5. FEEL INTENSELY
Feel intensely. A common characteristic of
charismatic individuals is that they feel
emotions strongly. Encourage and develop
those tendencies within yourself. Be
passionate.
You will draw others to you in an almost
effortless way because you will be
transferring your good feelings to them.
Practice amplifying your feelings
44. HOW TO AMPLIFY
FEELINGS
Recall a time when you felt that emotion,
or the next time you feel that emotion,
− Identify how it feels in your body
and the physical manifestations of it
− Trace backwards to the mental and
physical steps that led to it
The next time you feel that feeling
intensely, anchor it to some sensory
perception, e.g., touch, sound, smell, etc.
45. PRACTICE AMPLIFYING
THE EMOTION
Recreate the experience to recreate the
feeling
Use visualizations
Use anchors like music, smells, etc.
Practice inducing desirable emotions on a
daily basis, especially happiness!
Once you get used to creating the feeling,
you won't need to recreate the experience
46. LEARN TO IDENTIFY AND
MANAGE THESE EMOTIONS
Discomfort
Fear
Hurt
Anger
Frustration
Disappointment
Inadequacy
Loneliness
47. LEARN TO AMPLIFY THESE
POSITIVE EMOTIONS
Love
Arousal
Curiosity
Passion
Excitement
Confidence
Energetic
Happiness, cheerfulness, joyfulness
48. THE FINISHED PRODUCT
You use the Emotional Activation System
when you:
truly feel the emotion you want her to feel,
you look deeply and unblinkingly into her
eyes
while you amplify the feeling.
49. 3 STEPS TO MAKING HER DEEPLY
ATTRACTED TO YOU
Step 1: Excitement. Fun. Silly. Positive
nervousness. A little bit sexual.
Step 2: Appreciation. Wonder. A bit more
sexual.
Step 3: Savoring the sexual tension.
Aroused. Trying to hold yourself back
(struggling to restrain yourself).
Your whole relationship is a combination of
all three.
50. TROUBLESHOOTING
Can't skip any of the steps.
If you skip step 1, you're the creepy guy
If you skip step 2, you're the player who can
never get a girlfriend
If you skip step 3, you're the platonic friend
51. TROUBLESHOOTING II
If you think you're in step 2, and she
accuses you of something like, “Why are
you so serious all the time?” Then, go back
to step 1.
If you think you're in step 3, and she
accuses you of being a creep, then go back
to step 1... fast.
52. 3 STAGES TO MASTERY
Beginners Level: Name the improper
emotion (it's best to be honest) but
calibrate against the Ideal Self
Intermediate Level: Moderate levels of
emotion in each stage, mainly vibing with
her.
Advanced Level: Bigger range of emotional
variety and depth. She tests more but you
see these as fun and cute.
53. CONCLUSION
The 3 steps of the relationship
The 3 stages to mastery of the Emotional
Activation System
Use it or lose it
− Practice all the time, every day
Feel intensely
Live life to the fullest