ACR Teleseminar: Coaching the Conflict Pivot
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A conflict resolution teleseminar for the Association for Conflict Resolution
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ACR Teleseminar: Coaching the Conflict Pivot
- 1. COACHING THE CONFLICT PIVOT with Tammy Lenski
- 2. ConflictPivot.com THE GRAND PLAN Why conflict pivots Overview of the framework Using the framework Remaining questions, comments 2
- 5. ConflictPivot.com RESULTS Identify the most common reasons you get snagged by conflict Simplify what you need to remember to navigate conflict effectively Prevent some conflict from occurring at all Break cycles of blame and resentment 5
- 6. ConflictPivot.com RESULTS Dissolve states of conflict and tension Discern precisely what you should discuss with the other person for real resolution Resolve a conflict without relying on what the other person will or won’t do Learn how to let go and move on from conflicts you cannot jointly resolve 6
- 7. ConflictPivot.com TERMINOLOGY Conflict pivot A purposeful change in the direction you are focusing during conflict, in order to achieve better results Stuck story A partial story of what happened, a montage of the moments that most snagged your attention Conflict hook A part of your identity that has become snagged by the situation, causing conflict or escalating it 7
- 8. ConflictPivot.com THE PIVOTS 1.Pivot away from your stuck story and toward its message 2.Pivot away from their behavior and toward your conflict hooks 3.Pivot away from the past and toward the now 8
- 9. ConflictPivot.com PIVOT 1 Pivot away from your stuck story and toward its message Coaching tasks are to help the client… Help client identify what they’ve reacted to most strongly in the conflict Notice what they dwell on most when they tell their story of the conflict 9
- 10. ConflictPivot.com PIVOT 2 Pivot away from their behavior and toward your conflict hooks Coaching tasks are to help the client… Use what they dwell on and react to most strongly to help identify the true source of their discomfort Identify their conflict hooks 10
- 11. ConflictPivot.com THE HOOKS 1. Competence 2. Autonomy 3. Fellowship 4. Status 5. Reliability 6. Integrity Based on taxonomy by Stella Ting-Toomey 11
- 12. ConflictPivot.com PIVOT 3 Pivot away from the past and toward the now Coaching tasks are to help the client… Figure out what they want for themselves from here forward, including how to best address their identity needs Identify solutions that do not require the other person’s contribution for the client to achieve them 12
- 13. ConflictPivot.com IDEAL FOR CLIENTS WHO… Want or need to preserve the relationship Have an internal locus of control Want to decrease their reactivity in conflict Want to change a team or interpersonal dynamic 13
Notes de l'éditeur
- Overall goal: Introduce you to an approach and how you can use it in your work
- What I do Where I use the pivots
- Needed something to fill the gap between these two
- And to fill needs like these of mine and my clients
- So I scratched my own itch Began developing this about a decade ago
- A thought process Not interactional (focus on way people in conflict interact) Not interpersonal (focus on the way people relate and communicate in conflict) Intrapersonal - takes place inside your own mind.
- Worksheet for this purpose Will say at end how to get a copy
- Competence: the need to be recognized as capable, intelligent, skilled, or having expertise Autonomy: the need to be acknowledged as independent and self-reliant, and having our boundaries respected Fellowship: the need to be included and to be viewed as likable, cooperative, and worthy Status: the need to be admired for tangible and intangible assets such as reputation, power, attractiveness, and material worth Reliability: the need to be seen as trustworthy, dependable, and loyal Integrity: the need for others to respect our dignity, honor, virtue, and good character