Chapter 7.9 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

2. Previously, in The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy:
Theo stared at her, then began laughing himself. “You? Pregnant?”
“I know! It sounds so stupid! But, it’s not like we’ve been actively avoiding it, have
we? So it’s a possibility.”

3. “So, what’s the problem?” he asked, as he turned his chair around to face her.
“I’m gonna have to ask for a transfer back to Veronaville. To VIS.”

4. Barbara shot a dirty look at Rissa, punched Rhys and then went straight back to
kissing him.

6. “Hi, Mom.”

7. Then…
“She’s escalating.”

8. Yeah. Fire crouched next to the body of Rishell Hamilton where it was slumped
against the wall. She squinted at the bullet hole in the wallpaper just above Rishell’s
head, not really paying attention to Rose at all.

9. “Who called it in?” Rose asked, hoping to break Fire out of whatever was making her
act like a zombie. She’d barely spoken since the call had come in about an ‘incident’
at the fraternity.
Some incident, Rose thought.
Boyfriend of one of the victims, said Fire absently.
“Oh, so that’s who the kid in the kitchen is. Poor guy.”

10. Fire finally stood up. Mm. His name’s Brent McKinley. She gestured to one of the
bodies. Opal over there was his girlfriend. She only joined the fraternity a few
weeks ago.
“I did wonder who she was,” remarked Rose.

11. Fire faced the carnage with her hands on her hips. Definitely Fury’s work. She just
shows up, totally unexpected, because that’s what she does. These guys were
probably all on or around the couch, hanging out or studying.
“No textbooks lying around,” Rise pointed out.
No. Hanging out, then. Fire clicked her tongue. She’s got her gun out, doesn’t want
to waste time. Probably talks to them for a bit, since she’s noticed Rissa’s not
here. They can’t tell her where she is, so she kills them anyway.

12. Let’s see. Fire shifted, walked so she was standing before Lora’s body. She’d be
standing… here. They’d all be clumped together up there. Lora goes down first,
and everyone else scatters. They’re scared, of course they are.

13. She swept her gaze to the side door. Matt nearly makes it to the door, but she takes
him down. Then Opal. Will and Rishell have gotten behind her. Maybe they ran
forwards instead of back.

14. Will distracts her, because Rishell’s nearly out. Says something, does something.
So she kills him, and turns around just in time to see Rishell at the door.
“You’re freaking me out a bit,” said Rose mildly.

15. Fire wasn’t listening. She backs Rishell up against the wall. Rishell’s terrified, can’t
run, can’t hide. She’s shot point-blank. Fire bit her lip. Then Fury just walks out as
if nothing happened.
“You’re freaking me out a lot, now,” said Rose. “It’s like you are her.”
I just understand her. Wish I didn’t, sometimes. Fire sighed. See all this? It’s
sloppy. She let her temper get the better of her.

16. “Why?”
Simple. Her plan fell apart. She doesn’t like it when that happened. Rissa wasn’t
here, so her whole afternoon was a bust. Murdering a room full of college kids
made her feel better but it was sloppy.

17. “Speaking of Rissa not being here,” said Rose, “why wasn’t she? We all thought she
was. I about had a heart attack when I heard the dispatcher tell you there were five
victims.”
There was a reason why you didn’t know, said Fire tiredly. I guess this right here is
the reason.

18. “So,” said Lark as she walked in from the kitchen, “you left these kids here knowing
full well that Fury might come after them to get to Rissa?”

19. Fire scowled. Lark, please don’t imply that I ever intended for this to happen. I
would never want five innocents dead like this. She shook her head. I had more
faith in the security I had in place here than it deserved. I did not want this to
happen. Ever.
Lark nodded. “Okay, okay. Just playing devil’s advocate.”
Just making sure I haven’t gone completely crazy, you mean.

20. Speaking of security, is that guard talking any?
“Yes. Idiot just let her waltz right in. He thought she was another student, but didn’t
even bother to check her I.D.”
“She probably had a fake on her, just in case,” said Rose.
Probably. He give you a description, Lark?
“Black hair, jeans, brown jacket. Sounds like she got herself a makeover.”
“Or maybe the fashion police finally tracked her down,” Rose muttered.

21. Fire grinned reluctantly. Hah. Maybe. I think we’re pretty much done here, by the
way. We’ll get a lot more information when Tempe gets here and does her thing.
Lark grinned mischievously. “I can’t believe Fr4nk managed to bully her into taking
the ME job. Think we should start calling her ‘Bones’ now?”
You’re probably the only one who could get away with that.
“That’s because she’s afraid of me.”
You do nothing to change that in any… hold the phone. Fire paused, and tilted her
head as if listening to something the others couldn’t hear.

22. “Huh?”
Ah, damn it. Fire shook her head. Rissa’s on her way home. She’ll be here in the
morning. I have to go make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.
“How the hell do you know that?” Rose demanded.
Magic, said Fire distractedly. Come on, let’s go wait for Tempe.

23. Now…
Suze gaped at Rissa for a split second, then hugged her daughter fiercely.
“Oh, Rissa! You’re home, you’re safe,” she sobbed into Rissa’s shoulder.

24. Rissa shifted uncomfortably. “Well, this is nice. Unexpected, but nice.” She let her
mother cry into her shoulder for a little longer before gently breaking the embrace.
“You’re kind of crushing my ribs,” she said mildly.

25. Suze drew back awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I just… Oh, I’m just so glad you’re home.” She
turned back to the house. “Parker, come out here! Rissa’s home!”

26. Parker came down the corridor and hugged Rissa, a huge grin on his face. “What’d I
tell you, Suzie?” He patted his daughter’s shoulder. “Good to see you again, kiddo.”
“Yeah. Hi, Dad.”
“You’d better come in,” said Parker, jerking his head towards the kitchen. “Looks
like we have a lot to talk about.”
“About three years and six months’ worth of news, I think,” said Rissa quietly,
touching her pregnant belly absently. “Y’know, I wasn’t expecting you-all to be so
welcoming. I was expecting… yelling. And accusations, and the like.”

27. “I guess we’re just glad you’re okay,” said Suze with a slight sniffle as they traipsed
in.
“Yeah, you said that. I’d figured Fire’d give you updates, since she’s kind of a sneaky
bitch that way.”
“Well,” said Parker, “she did, but we were under the impression you’d still be at
college. Hence the worry.”

28. “Yeah.” Rissa shuffled her feet. “I graduated early. Worked my ass off for two years,
but it was worth it. Took off, spent a year working for a company overseas. Met a
guy.” Rissa smiled ruefully. “Had too much fun with said guy. Had to come home
since having a kid overseas is all kinds of problematic.”

29. “So, you don’t know?” asked Suze.
“Don’t know about what?” Rissa frowned slightly.

30. Parker’s face darkened. “I think you’d better sit down, Rissa.”
“What the hell is up with you two?” Rissa gave her parents suspicious looks, but sat
down anyway.

31. Parker handed Rissa the paper. “You need to see this. It’s this morning’s edition.”

32. Rissa glanced at the paper casually. “You guys still read the Herald? I hope you
realize it’s mostly…”
She froze.

33. Rissa looked up slowly, and gazed across the table at her parents. “Son of a fucking
bitch. That’s the Greek House. My Greek House.”

34. “We thought you were there,” said Suze quietly. “Five victims. We thought you were
there… with your four friends.”
“Rishell must have found a new pledge,” said Rissa distantly. “Or,” - the bottom
dropped out of her stomach - “Robbie was around visiting Will. Who did this?”
“The police don’t know,” said Parker gently. “But, if the Simselves were there… it
was probably the woman who killed your sister. Fury.”

35. “Right.” Rissa stood up. “I’m going to kill her.”
“Oh, no, Rissa, it’s not safe!” Suze babbled as Rissa strode purposefully towards the
door. “You’re pregnant, she’ll just kill you!”

36. Rissa didn’t even break stride at her mother’s words.
Parker gently took hold of Suze’s arm. “Let her go, Suzie. Whoever’s on guard will
stop her. She needs something to do, someone to blame. Let her go.”
Suze bit her lip, but finally nodded. “I hope you’re right.”

37. Rissa didn’t have a clear plan in her head when she stomped out of the front door.
She couldn’t even form a clear, coherent thought through the chaos of emotion in her
brain.

38. The fact that Fire was leaning casually against the gate didn’t help her violent mood
at all.
Going somewhere?
“Yeah. As a matter of fact, I am.”

39. “I’m going to go eviscerate the murderous bitch who killed my friends. With nail
scissors.” Rissa’s voice was much calmer than her face. “I don’t even own fucking nail
scissors, but it’s going to happen.”
Well, last I heard, she had a gun. Possibly several guns. So your plan is to go after
a known killer with no weapons, and no armour?
“Pretty much,” said Rissa, teeth gritted.
Clever plan, said Fire, not sparing Rissa any sarcasm.

40. “Hey, fuck you.”
Rissa, you don’t even know where she is.
“She can come to me. She wants to kill me so fucking bad she’ll shoot a room full of
my friends, she can come to me. Then I’ll gut her.”

41. Doesn’t work that way, sweetheart. She’ll kill you, and she won’t even blink.
Then she’ll kill your mother, and your father, and your brother, and your niece
and nephew… want me to go on?
“Please don’t.”
She’ll do it for fun, Rissa. She’ll do it because she can. Because if she gets you,
she wins, and her idea of a victory party is mass homicide.
“I don’t care,” Rissa snarled. “She killed everyone. She needs to suffer.”

42. You can’t win this on your own, Rissa, said Fire patiently. You’re smart. Fury’s
smarter, and she has the upper hand. If she gets the chance, she is not going to
hesitate to kill you and everyone who you have left.
Rissa glared furiously at Fire. Then, she broke.

43. “She killed them. All of them.”
I know. I know, and I’m so sorry. I will find her, and she will pay.
“Doesn’t bring them back,” said Rissa quietly. “Nothing can.”
Then, she did something Fire had never seen her do before.

44. She cried.

45. Being home again was… awkward.
It took Rissa three days to tell her parents what had happened since the night she ran
away. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant experience – she really didn’t want to have to
talk about Rishell, Matt, Lora and Will with their funeral coming up.
She was pleasantly surprised by her mother’s clear effort to give Rissa her own space
and not blame her for running off. Suze even seemed excited at the idea of becoming
a grandmother.
Her mother’s abrupt personality change, and her own shocking grief, threw Rissa off-
balance for quite a while.

46. Temperance didn’t release the bodies of Rissa’s friends for a whole month – a month
during which Rissa was stuck inside the house going slowly crazy. Security was tighter
than ever. What made things worse was the fact that Theo couldn’t make it to
Veronaville until at least the day of the funeral.
The Simselves spent a lot of time with Rissa when they were on guard duty. They said
it was to keep her company, but she suspected they were there to make sure she
didn’t do anything stupid. Since she wasn’t entirely sure that she wouldn’t, she let it
go.

47. Shortly after she got the news about the bodies being released, Rissa received a
phone call from Robbie. It had been terse, at best – they simply hadn’t known what
to say to each other.
Whoever was organizing the funeral had asked Robbie to ask Rissa to write the
eulogy. The very idea made her break out in a cold sweat – she was no writer, and
she hadn’t even known Opal. But she felt like she had to do it.

48. On the morning of the funeral, Fire paid Rissa a visit.
Hey. Fire held out a plate full of rich chocolate torte. I brought cake. She slipped
past Rissa into the house.
“Come on in, won’t you?” Rissa muttered. Louder, she called, “There’s coffee in the
pot.”
Bleah. Why ruin good cake by drinking coffee with it?
“Heresy!” Rissa exclaimed.

49. Once they were seated with generous portions of the cake in front of them, Fire
decided to try her hand at casual, tactful conversation.
Big day today, she observed.

50. “Yeah. I get to speak for my four murdered friends at their funeral. Wonderful big
day.”
Well, Theo’s flight’ll be in this evening, said Fire. That help any?
“I don’t even wanna know how you know that.” Rissa sighed. “I’m fucking terrified.
I’m not a writer. I don’t think I can do this, and no amount of tellin’ myself that when
it’s over I get my boyfriend back is ever gonna help with that.”

51. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just say what you think. Speaking your mind’s how you
made friends with them in the first place, right? Fire smiled. Marina’s on duty as
your bodyguard today, by the way.
“Great. At least I can count on Marina to be subtle,” Rissa muttered.
Thanks, said Fire tartly. After I brought you cake, and everything.
“Sorry, sorry.” Rissa stabbed moodily at her slice. “Polite Rissa’s not in today.
Pregnant Irritable Rissa’s all you get.”

52. There was a brief awkward pause. Fire and Rissa didn’t get along nearly as well as
Rissa did with the other Simselves. Fire thought Rissa was too reckless; Rissa thought
Fire was too pushy. Their truce was an uncomfortable one.
“I did want to talk to you about something,” Rissa finally said. “I would’ve mentioned
it when you were here last time, but…”
…you were too busy telling me to make Tempe move her ass on the case. Fire set
her fork down. For the record, no amount of cajoling’s going to make Tempe budge
on anything. She’s a perfectionist.

53. “Mm,” said Rissa absently. “I’ve been thinking about Theo.”
There’s a surprise.
“Ha ha. No, not like that. Well, yeah, maybe, but… he’s a target now, isn’t he?” Rissa
gazed sharply at Fire. “He’s the father of my kid. Psycho Killer out there would love
to make sure we don’t have any more of them together.”
Well, we could move him to a safehouse…
“No house more fucking safe than this one,” Rissa said pointedly.

54. Oh, Rissa. You know that can’t happen. There are rules.

55. “Fuck your rules.”
Rissa said it calmly, almost pleasantly, but there was no disguising the anger in her
eyes.
The rules are there for a reason.
“A stupid reason. When they were written, we were safe. There was no crazy killer
out to wipe us all out. I am not going to risk the safety of the man I… the man I love,
because the rules say he can’t live here in Fort Fucking Chandler.”

56. I…
“No. Shut up,” Rissa cut in. “D’you think it’s fair that my mother can’t marry my dad
because of some hundred-year-old rule? D’you think it’s fair that we’re still dancing
to the tune of some absent manipulative creator who’s had zero influence over this
train wreck since my grandmother was my age?”
Well, I wouldn’t say ‘zero’ exactly.
“I said shut up,” said Rissa dangerously.

57. “The rules don’t work any more. My mother should be able to do what she wants. I
should be able to do whatever the hell I want. The focus should be on keeping us
safe, not the fucking rules.”
You’re right.
“And another… what?” Rissa blinked.

58. You’re absolutely right. The rules need to change. Fire smiled sadly. I should have
figured this out years ago, when Suze asked if your father could move in. It’s a
symptom of being immortal, I guess. Time works differently, so nothing seems
urgent. It’s not an excuse, she said quickly, as Rissa opened her mouth to say
something snarky. But it does impair my judgement at times. Well, most of the
time.
Rissa scowled. “I’ll say.”

59. Fire carefully ignored that comment. That’s it, then. You’re free to run this legacy
however you want. By whatever power I have left in this verse, I declare the rules
to be null and void.
“That’s it?” demanded Rissa. “No lightning, no ceremony, no raining blood or three-
headed kittens?”
What’s your problem? Isn’t this what you wanted?

60. “I was… okay, I was looking forward to a good argument. You’re being way too
reasonable.” Rissa folded her arms defensively. “Got a problem with that?”

61. Fire giggled. I’m sorry for being too accommodating. Would you prefer me to be a
hard-ass and make the rules even more restrictive?
“Shut up,” said Rissa, but the corner of her mouth was-half lifted into a wry smile.

62. I thought not. Fire stood up. Tell your parents about this. Tell Theo when he gets
here that he’s free to move in, if he chooses.
“He better choose to, or he’ll be in a freaking ton of trouble,” Rissa murmured.
I expected nothing less from you.

63. As she turned to leave, she nearly tripped straight over Maia, who whined at her and
gave her a reproachful canine glare.
Fire frowned. That’s enough from you. You know this is right. It’s not your decision
to make, anyway.

64. “Now, either you’ve gone totally batshit, or there’s something unnatural about that
dog,” Rissa drawled.
Probably both. Fire shot Rissa an enigmatic smile, and began to disappear. Take
care, and good luck with the speech.
“You’re lucky I got things to do, otherwise I’d hold you down and make you give me a
straight answer,” Rissa muttered darkly.

65. Fire’s laugh echoed around the room long after she’d vanished.
“I hate it when she does that.” Maia whined in agreement.

66. Rissa stood up and eyed Maia speculatively. “So, dog, are you a mystical demon-wolf
from another dimension, or what?”

67. Maia just rolled over and demanded a belly rub, tongue lolling comically.
“Stupid mutt,” Rissa said affectionately, before complying. “I guess you’re probably a
bit crazy, like the rest of us.”

68. She straightened with a groan. “Ouch. Okay, time to go fix up my hair and shit like
that. If I screw up the speech, I might as well look pretty while I do it.”

69. Rissa’s first impression of the cemetery was that it was full of people she’d never
seen before in her life.
She panicked, momentarily, worrying that she’d have to speak in front of a crowd of
total strangers. Oh, Marina was here, but she’d assured Rissa that she’d be keeping a
discreet distance during the whole memorial.
Desperate for a familiar face, Rissa hung back and surveyed the crowd, eyeing each
face carefully.

70. It took her some time to spot Robbie, who looked pale and drawn without his usual
pink sweater.
“Hey, Robbie,” she called, striding over to where he was standing.
It was almost comical watching the blank look on his face switch to surprised
recognition. He took in her blonde hair and distinct lack of boots without comment.

71. “Rissa,” he said. “My God, isn’t this just awful? My William, all of them, gone.”
Rissa wished desperately that she could make a quip of some kind to ease the tension
between the two of them. Robbie was just as formal with her as he’d been when
they’d first met, and while they had never been best friends, they’d had some degree
of familiarity with one another.

72. “Yeah. It sucks. I don’t even have the right words to say how much this freakin’
sucks.” She sighed. “Help me out here, wouldja? I don’t know who any of these
people are, and you seem to be doin’ better at that than I am.”
Robbie nodded. “Indeed, I know or know of everyone here.” He pointed over to a
cluster of three people.

73. “The petite blonde in the unflattering suit is Jocelyn Hart, and the tall man behind
her is her husband Marcus. They are Matthew’s parents. Speaking to Jocelyn is dear
William’s mother Willow. Thankfully, she and I had met before William… well. I am
just glad I could spare her the “I am your son’s boyfriend” speech at his funeral.”
“Get on with it, Robbie,” said Rissa mildly.

74. “Ahem. The two teenagers are Emily Hart and Merrick Collin, Matthew’s sister and
Lora’s brother respectively. Both are due to start college soon, but I highly doubt
that they will be joining the fraternity.”
“I want their names, not their life stories, Robbie. Quit waffling.”

75. “Very well,” Robbie sighed, looking and sounding mildly bored. “The redheaded man
with the freckles is Andersen Collin, Lora’s father. The young man he is speaking to
is Phillipe Hamilton, Rishell’s older brother. As far as I know, she has no other
family.”

76. “Over there is Jade Stevens, Opal’s mother. She is speaking to Brent McKinley,
Opal’s beau. He was the one who found the… bodies.”
“Poor bastard.”

77. “And finally, behind you,” said Robbie, his voice dropping to a whisper, “is Pearl
Stevens, Opal’s twin sister.”
Rissa smiled sadly. “I never got to know Opal. Wish I had.”
“Indeed. She had a rather remarkable talent for ignoring William’s more barbed
comments. Have you got your speech ready?”
Rissa patted her pocket. “Yeah. Hope I don’t have to stand for the whole thing,
though. My ankles swell up like crazy nowadays if I stay on my feet too long.”

78. “Yes, I see that congratulations are in order,” said Robbie, bending slightly to
examine Rissa’s stomach. “Hello, Rissa’s child,” he said gravely, his voice almost a
coo.
“Careful, Robbie. You’re showing your feminine side. Never seen you do that before,”
said Rissa, deadpan.
“I happen to be very fond of children,” said Robbie, a tad stiffly.
“Yeah, well, good for you.” Rissa poked her belly. “This isn’t something me and Theo
– my boyfriend – planned, exactly. I’m not used to the idea of being a mom yet.”

79. “We seem to be starting,” Robbie observed as people began to take their seats. “Are
you ready?”
“Not in a million years, but I’m doing it anyways.”
“Do them proud, Clarissa,” said Robbie quietly as he took his seat.

80. “Uh, hi.
“We all know why we’re here today. There are five young people who are dead, and
they shouldn’t be. Five people, who were just about to finish college and start the
rest of their lives – grow up, start careers, get married, have kids. But here we are,
telling the world how fantastic they might have been, because we’re never gonna
know.”

81. “Lora Collin. Rishell Hamilton. Matthew Hart. William Williamson. Opal Stevens.
These names mean something to us. They were our sons, our daughters, sisters,
brothers, friends. Something like this can’t ever change what those names mean to
us. When someone asks me about Lora, I’ll be able to tell you that she hated olives,
and that she always wore green to exams for luck. What happened to her, to them,
doesn’t erase what they left in our hearts and minds.”

82. “Someone killed them. Someone took their lives without even thinking about it,
thinking that they were taking away brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, friends. We’re
never gonna get closure on this, not really. If they catch who did this, if whoever did
this is locked up for the rest of forever, there are still five young people who are
dead. Nobody should die this young.”

83. “At funerals, usually you celebrate a life well-lived. We can’t do that today because
the five people we are mourning were just starting theirs. All we have left are our
memories of them. We can keep their thoughts, their quirks, their annoying habits,
in our hearts and pull them out to look at them when we can’t handle the world
without them.”

84. “Here’s to you – to Lora, to Rishell, to Matt, to Will, to Opal. You’re gone, and it’s
the worst thing in the world for those of us who got left behind. But, every time I go
through an old album and see your pictures in there, you’ll be right back in the room
with me.
“Thank you. I would now like to call on Andersen Collin for his speech.”

85. Rissa was still shaking a little bit when she walked to her seat, but since everyone
seemed to be applauding, she was willing to accept her speech as a success.

86. “What’d you think, too corny?” she whispered to Robbie as she sat down.
“Just enough,” said Robbie, sniffling the tiniest bit.

87. After the service, everyone stopped to talk to Rissa about her speech as they left.
Rissa thanked them automatically, desperately wanting to just go home. She wanted
to scream and throw things, not hug Will’s mother or be patted on the shoulder by
Lora’s father.

88. She was jarred forcibly back to the present when a man in a severely starched suit
crushed her hand in his and said coldly, “I hope you’re enjoying yourself, missy. This
is all your fault.”

89. Rissa jerked her hand away. “The hell are you talking about?”
“My son,” he snapped. “If he had never met you, he would still be alive.”

90. Rissa folded her arms across her chest. “You’d be Matt’s dad, then.”
“I am Matthew’s father, yes. As you would know if you had cared enough about my
son to meet his family.”
“Matt never talked about you or the rest of your family,” Rissa said acidly. “I’m
startin’ to see why he didn’t.”

91. “You do not have the moral high ground here, girl,” Marcus Hart growled. “I don’t
care if your family is one of the most powerful in the district. You’re a band of
freaks, and association with you got my boy killed.”
Rissa gritted her teeth. “Mr. Hart, you are getting really freaking close to pissing me
off. Seeing as this is a funeral, I’d’ve thought you’d have more sense.”

92. She turned her back on him. “I’m gonna make allowances for your grief here. If you
got a personal grievance with me, pursue it someplace and sometime else.”
“I am not done talking to you!” snapped Marcus.
“Let it go, dear,” said a quiet female voice.

93. Rissa glanced back to see Marcus’ tiny blonde wife place a firm hand on her husband’s
shoulder, their teenage daughter behind them looking distressed.
“Jocelyn…” Marcus started.
“Another time, Marcus,” Jocelyn said firmly. She glanced at Rissa as she steered her
husband away. “It was a lovely speech, dear.”

94. Shaking her head and resisting her urge to punch something, Rissa walked over to
where Robbie was idly examining the old stone crypt.
“You never mentioned that Matt’s dad was a total asshole.”
Robbie shrugged. “He is a politician. I believe it comes with the territory.”

95. “You’ve got a point.” Rissa blew out a sigh. “I’m gonna head home, Robster. I’m
getting a migraine from holding in all the shouty, stabby rage.”
Robbie nodded. “Ah, do let me know when you have the little one, won’t you? I really
do like children, and as it is unlikely that I will have any of my own…” He looked at
Rissa tentatively.

96. “Sure.” Rissa grinned. “You oughta stop by sometime. Y’know, for coffee and talk
and stuff. Hell, the Simselves are over all the time, so we might as well make a party
out of it.”
“You mean, we should be friends?” asked Robbie, mildly surprised.
Rissa punched his arm. “We always were, Strawberry Shortcake. You just don’t get
my way of bein’ friendly.”

97. “How was the funeral, honey?”

98. Rissa slammed the door behind herself and glared at her mother, arms akimbo. :It
was a fucking funeral. How d’you think it went?”
Suze’s lips thinned. “I was trying to be friendly, and take an interest in your life.”
“Oh, right. Better late than never, huh?” Rissa tapped her foot irritably. “I wouldn’t
think you’d need to ask me how it was, seeing as you’re so used to ‘em yourself.
Leastaways, that’s the impression you give.”

99. “What are you trying to say, Rissa?” asked Suze, a slight hard edge making its way
into her tone.
“Sheezus, Mom. I’m trying to say that you should fucking know that nobody knows
how the hell to feel after a funeral, unless they’re you and can live off of nothin’ but
grief for twenty fucking years. I’m devastated. I’m lonely. I’m pissed because Matt’s
asshole father tried picking a fight with me when his son was barely in the fucking
ground. I can’t stick my feelings in a neat little box for you to quantify because,
guess what? I am not a fucking robot.”

100. Suze clenched her fists until the knuckles turned white. “I think,” she said carefully,
“that you seem a bit worn out. Maybe you need to lie down for a while.”
“And the micromanaging starts again. You can’t send me to my room and pretend it
fixes the problem, Mom. My room, which is full of pansy-ass lame purple crap since
you redecorated the fuck out of it while I was out of the picture.”

101. Rissa stomped past Suze and up the stairs. “When Theo gets here,” she yelled behind
her, “tell him I’ll be upstairs. Wearing fucking boots, not this boring Stepford Wife
shit.”
Suze watched her go. Rissa was such a different person now, she wasn’t sure she
knew her any more. A sudden bitter thought that she had never known her own
daughter occurred to her. She pushed the thought away angrily.

102. At first, Theo thought he’d wandered into the wrong room. There was too much
purple, and patchwork, and too many feminine frills for this to be Rissa’s room.
The blonde figure at the window made him pause for half a second, too, until he
recognized the stompy black boots and thrift store kimono.
He smiled, dropped his suitcase at the door, and walked over to her.

103. “Look at you,” he murmured, sliding his hands around her waist.
Rissa grinned like an idiot. “Don’t expect the hair to stay like this,” she warned.
“Soon as I decide which colour I’m going with next, it’s gonna be straight back to
normal.”
“Relatively speaking,” said Theo with a faint smile. “I wish I could have been here
sooner, Riss.”

104. Rissa turned into his embrace and pressed her face to his shoulder. “You’re here now.
God, Theo, it’s been such a shit of a day. Matt’s dad blamed me for his death. Threw
me for such a fucking loop I took it out on Mom. Pretty much blew all my good
daughter points.”
“Didn’t think you had any of those left,” said Theo lightly. Rissa punched him, which
only made him grin.

105. Rissa grinned back at him. “How much leave did you get from Rhys?”
“Well, that’s kind of complicated.” Theo squeezed Rissa’s hand. “When I left, VIS was
in the middle of negotiations to buy out the lab. I’m pretty sure they’re going to
succeed, which means my job, and everyone else’s, is moving over here. To
Veronaville.”

106. “Huh. What a coincidence.” Rissa frowned slightly. “If I were a betting girl, I’d put a
shitload of money on Fire having a controlling stake in VIS.”
“Sorry?”
“Ah, it’s just that I talked to her, and she said I was right, that the rules were stupid.
You can move in here, if you wanted to. I knew your job was gonna be an issue with
that, but if it’s going to move here…”

107. “Of course I want to move here, Riss. If you’re offering.”
“Well, what else d’you think I was doing? ‘Oh, Theo, you’re allowed to move in here
if y’all wanted to, but I really don’t want you to.’”
“You have been known to be a bit less than open,” Theo said patiently.
“Yeah, I’ll give you that one.” Rissa snickered.
“I hope you realize this means Rhys is going to be your boss again.”

108. “Shit, he is too. He’s never gonna let me hear the end of the fact I need bodyguards.
Mind, one of my bodyguards knows him, I think. Maybe she’ll give me some dirt on
him.” She smiled. “I think I can handle that.”
“I like my chaos outside the lab,” Theo complained.
“I won’t be too mean to him,” Rissa clarified. “Just enough to keep him on his toes.
What good is a boring normal relationship anyways?”

109. “I wouldn’t know,” said Theo, lightly teasing.
“Now you’re just trying to flirt with me,” chuckled Rissa. “By the way, how’d you
find your way up here? My house is like a freaking maze of huge-ass rooms.”
“Your father met me at the door.” Theo shifted uncomfortably. “I got the distinct
impression he was trying to decide whether I would be worth the effort of crushing
into a pulp.”

110. “Psh, Dad’s a big old grey teddy bear. He’s just tryin’ to mess with your head.” Rissa
smirked. “You’ll see at dinner. Mom’s the one you gotta watch out for, but I reckon
she’s gonna love you since you’re the one who’s responsible for makin’ me settle
down.”
“You’re never going to settle down, Riss.”
“Damn skippy, I’m not. Now come help me re-dye my hair. I can’t manoeuvre around
the bathroom on my own as well as I used to be able to. Took me two hours longer
than usual to go blonde today.”

111. “Your wish is my command.” Theo leaned in to kiss her.
“I wish for a million bucks,” Rissa whispered against his lips.
“Way to break the mood, Rissa.”
“Careful, you’re starting to sound like me.” She kissed him back. “Missed you too,
Theo.”

112. Later…
“Have I mentioned yet how much I love the fact your pajamas don’t fit you right
now?”
Rissa chuckled. “Like I wear my pajamas much anyhow.”
“True. I like your parents, by the way. Even if your dad did make jokes about
breaking my face if I break your heart.”
“Well, you’ll just have to avoid doing that, won’t you?”

113. He stood up. “Here, your back must be killing you.” He started rubbing her shoulders.
“Hooooooooly shit, don’t ever stop doing that.” Rissa groaned as he worked out the
knots in her muscles. “Every pregnant woman should have one of you.”
“Lucky you, you’re the only one who does.”

114. “Mm, lucky me.” Rissa smiled sunnily at Theo. “You know I missed you, right? I missed
you so goddamn much. It was only a month, and I missed you so much it hurt.”
“Careful, you’re starting to sound romantic.” Theo’s lips quirked into a grin. “Come
on, we both need some sleep. You had a crazy day, and I’m jetlagged.”
Rissa reddened slightly. “Yeah. I’m tired. That’s why I’m spouting romantic crap like
that.”

115. “Of course it is,” said Theo quietly as they snuggled together under the covers. “Go
to sleep, Rissa.”
“Love you too,” Rissa muttered, half-asleep already.
The grin stayed plastered across Theo’s face even as he, too, fell asleep.

117. “Godfuckingdamnit.” Rissa had been cautiously optimistic that the dreams had just
been a product of college-related stress. Clearly, she had been wrong.
“I’m really fucking tired of this,” she said to the room at large. “Here I was thinking
I’d be left alone to do my own thing.”

118. The room remained empty.
“Oh, don’t try fucking with my head again. I am not in the mood for mind games.”
“Temper, temper.”

119. Lindsay was lounging on one of the sofas. Rissa was mostly sure that she hadn’t been
there a few seconds ago.
“Great. You again. Look, this shit has got to end. Whatever you’re selling, I’m not
buying.”
“You’re too stubborn for your own good. I’m sorry about this, really.”
“About what? Dragging me out of my own dreams for this bullshit?”
“Look behind you, Rissa.”

120. Rissa really didn’t want to turn around, but she did anyway.
“Hey, Rissa.” Matt waved at her from the corner of the room. He looked slightly
embarrassed. Lora looked pissed off, Will was nonchalant, and Rishell was staring off
into space with a vacant smile on her face. Exactly the way Rissa remembered them,
aside from the bullet holes in their clothes.

121. “Gods, no. Don’t do this to me.” Rissa screwed her eyes shut.
“I am sorry,” said Lindsay’s voice from somewhere behind her.
“The hell you are.” Rissa’s knees gave way and she sat down on the floor with an
oddly solid thump.

122. “We got the impression you were used to talking to dead people,” said Lora.
“Apparently, you did this sort of thing all through college without telling your best
friends. Thanks, pal.”
“You’re dead,” Rissa whispered. “You’re dead, and in the ground. You can’t be here,
too.”

123. Everyone crowded around Rissa. “Like it or not, we’re here now,” said Will.
“So you’ve all banded together to give me insomnia for the rest of my life?”
Rishell shook her head. “We’re just here for the show.”

124. “Wonderful.” Rissa frowned at her knees. “Gather around, everyone, it’s the Rissa
Show. I do a wonderful impersonation of the kid from The Sixth Sense. I see dead
people, wooo. For an encore, I can do an Exorcist headtwist.”
“You need to listen, and not be so silly,” said Rishell patiently. “You didn’t listen
last time, but that doesn’t mean the message is any less big.”

125. “Unless it’s a way of getting you lot back, I don’t care.” Rissa scowled, then froze.
“Oh, shit. If I’d listened, would I have known? Could I have stopped this?”
“Psh, no,” said Lora. “If you’d known, you’d’ve stayed, and you’d be as dead as we
are. Bullet in the brainpan, squish.”
“It’s just something you need to pass on,” said Lindsay. “We thought that if your
friends were here, you’d listen to them.”
“Why me? Why do I have to be the messenger girl?”

126. “You’re the only one,” said Matt.
“Yeah, but why is it me specifically who gets the freaky dreams? I’d rather not get
them.”
Lindsay shrugged. “I used to see the future.”

127. Rissa looked up at her friends again, and back down. “Fuck it. If you’re gonna be
obtuse, whatever. Just give me the damn message.”
“I hope you’ve got a good head for riddles,” said Will.
“If I’m the messenger, then it’s not my freaking problem.”

128. “Fine then.” Linsday took a deep breath.
“The empty heart
The loaded gun
One becomes two
Two become one
Shatter the glass
Cold double-cross
The loser’s gain
The winner’s loss.”

129. Rissa stood up. The others followed suit.
“Why the fuck are prophecies always bad poetry?”
Rishell shrugged. “It’s probably a law of physics.”
“Fine. I don’t even care. Who do I take this message to?

130. “To whoever needs to hear it,” said Lora.
“Fine. Thanks for nothing.” Rissa sighed. “Damn it, it sucks that you guys are dead.”
“Another time, Rissa,” said Lora. “We don’t have time for group hugs right now.”
“The hell we don’t. We have as much freaking time as I want. My dream,
remember?”

131. “Not tonight, Rissa,” said Lindsay. “You have to wake up. She’s coming.”

132. “And what the hell is that supposed to…” Rissa was sitting up in bed, talking to
herself. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“Uh?” Theo mumbled.
“Weird dream. Go back to sleep.”
“Kay.” Theo buried his face back in the pillow.

133. Rissa got up, threw on an old t-shirt, and wandered over to the table lamp to find the
switch. “I’m gonna have that damn thing stuck in my head,” she muttered to herself.
“Winner’s loss and all that. Ow.”

134. “She looked down at her stomach. “Oh, kidlet, your timing could not possibly be any
worse.”

135. Rissa tapped Theo on the shoulder. “Hey. Wake up.”
“S’not morning yet,” Theo slurred. He rolled away from Rissa.
“Theo, wake up, now,” Rissa snapped.

136. “Huh?” Theo flailed and sat up. “What?”

137. “Pretty sure I’m in labour,” said Rissa grimly.
“Oh.” Theo looked momentarily stunned. “Shit.”
“My sentiments exactly.”

138. It was a short labour, but that didn’t mean that Rissa enjoyed any part of it. She
spent most of it swearing at Theo whenever he tried to be supportive.

139. When it was over, she held a tiny, squeaking infant in her arms.
“Huh. Look at you, kid.” Rissa held her daughter awkwardly. “She got your eyes,
Theo.”

140. “She sure did.” Theo peered at his daughter. “No blue hair, though.”
“Ha ha,” said Rissa, dripping sarcasm. “No, she got the blonde.”
“What are we going to call her?”
“I did think about that, a bit,” said Rissa. “How about Lisbeth?”
Lisbeth is named after Lisbeth Salander, the protagonist of The Millenium Trilogy by
Stieg Larsson.

141. “I like Lisbeth.” Theo waved at the baby. “Hello there, Lisbeth.” Lisbeth gurgled and
waved vaguely at her father’s face.
“You’ve gotta see the nursery we’ve got for you, kiddo,” said Rissa. “Your
grandmother decorated it.”
Theo eyed the purple room around him. “She decorated this room, right?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry, the nursery’s slightly better.”

142. “But,” Rissa admitted as they went into the nursery, “it could do with improvement.”
“Rissa, your idea of improvement is black leather everything,” Theo pointed out.
“I guess you think you’re funny.” Rissa lowered Lisbeth into the crib. “Holy shit,
Theo. We’re parents.”

143. “Yeah. We are.” Theo paused for a moment. “Kinda scary.”
“I’m just glad I get to drag you along for the ride.” Rissa grinned. “You’re stuck
now.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” said Theo firmly.

144. The door opened behind them.
“We heard noises,” said a slightly ruffled Parker as he walked in, Suze in tow. “So
we… oh.”
“Shirt!” whispered Theo, so Rissa’s parents couldn’t hear. “I’m not wearing a shirt!”
“I’m sure they’ll get over it,” she mouthed back. To her father, she said, “Congrats,
Grandpa. Come on over and meet Lisbeth.”

145. Parker engulfed Rissa in a bear hug. “She’s perfect, Rissa.”
“Yeah, she kinda is.” Rissa smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Of course, I’m hoping she’ll be as bad as you were,” said Parker with a twinkle in his
eye.

146. Suze tentatively approached Rissa. “Can I… can I hold her?”
Rissa’s smile was guarded, but still a smile. “Sure. You’re her grandmother, right?”
“I just thought…”
“Forget about it,” said Rissa. “Let’s just forget about it.”
Suze blinked. “All right.” She reached into the crib.

147. “Hello, Lisbeth.” Suze peered into her newest granddaughter’s eyes. “You’re
beautiful.”
Lisbeth stared at the blue sparkles surrounding Suze, and reached out to one.
Suze smiled. “Oh, I’ve missed having children in the house,” she murmured.

148. “Here, Rissa,” said Suze, handing Lisbeth back to her mother. “She’s all yours.”
“Well, here I’m thinking I might need help with that,” said Rissa slowly. “I’ve got no
experience with this. You’ve had three of these.”
Suze chuckled. “Parenthood is always a guessing game, Rissa.”

149. “But I think I can help when you and Theo get stuck.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Maybe it was wishful thinking, on both their parts, but maybe Lisbeth’s birth would
be a start for more than one mother-daughter relationship.

150. Parenthood was a big adjustment for Rissa and Theo. There were a great many
sleepless nights, as Lisbeth had a very powerful set of lungs and a short temper.
But, they coped. Rissa had never seen herself as being maternal, but she got the hang
of feeding and changing after a while.
Theo loved every second, even the early wake-up calls.

151. About three weeks after Lisbeth was born, Rissa invited her brother, his family, and
Robbie around to come and see her. Naturally, Robbie was running fashionably late.
“She’s gorgeous, Rissa,” said Adam, who’d gotten rather teary-eyed when he’d been
holding his new niece.

152. “She kind of is, isn’t she?” Rissa glanced down at Lisbeth, who was batting at a green
plastic diamond on her play frame. “Most of the time, anyway. Not so much when
she’s screaming her tiny lungs out at three in the morning.”

153. “Imagine that, only doubled,” Adam chuckled, nodding his head over to his twins.
“Once one starts yelling, the other one does too.”
Rissa shuddered. “Gods, I am never going to have twins. Mind, I might end up with
another kid, at least. Theo’s gone all maternal on me, says he wants more of them.”
“It’s a sickness,” Adam said cheerfully.
“I told him, I ain’t having any more until I figure out how to be a parent to the one
we’ve already got.”

154. Adam laughed. “Rissa, parenting isn’t something you learn. You make it up on the fly
and hope it works.”
“Well, thank the gods for that. I thought I was doing it wrong.”

155. Robbie chose that moment to finally make his entrance.

156. “Hey, Strawberry Shortcake!” Rissa grinned. “This is my big brother Adam Carter. The
rabble behind me are his wife and the Hell Twins.”
“My kids are not Hell Twins,” said Adam, almost offended.
“Sure they are. They look like you, don’t they?”

157. “Mr. Carter,” said Robbie, somewhat formally.
“Have we met somewhere before? You seem familiar,” said Adam, squinting at
Robbie.
“Ye… ah, no, I don’t believe so,” Robbie coughed. “No,” he added, voice a little
firmer.
Rissa cleared her throat. “If y’all are finished making out, the kid’s over here.”
Robbie flushed faintly.

158. Robbie crouched down and peered into Lisbeth’s green eyes. “Hello, little one.”
Rissa grinned. “Liss, this is your Auntie Robbie.”
Lisbeth made an odd chortling noise. Rissa cackled. “Yep, you’re definitely my kid.”
Robbie choked back a noise of indignation. “Your mother is a dreadful lady,” he said
to Lisbeth.
“Stop trying to corrupt my daughter. You’ll do it all wrong.” Rissa sauntered off to
speak to Adam again while Robbie made more cooing noises at Lisbeth.

159. When Robbie stood up, there were two small redheaded children peering at him.
“You’re wearing pink,” observed the girl.
“Yes, I am,” said Robbie warily.
“You talk funny,” said the boy.
“Like you’re from a book.”
“I’m Simlish,” said Robbie wryly. “It’s a hazard.”

160. The twins giggled, oddly in sync. “You’re funny,” said the girl.
“We like it,” said the boy. “I’m Zee…”
“…and I’m Mari. Do you want to…”
“…come and play a game?”

161. Robbie was unnerved by the twins, but his love of children won out over his
goosebumps.
“What sort of game?”
The twins grinned identical grins. “A fun one! You have to count to twenty, and try
and find us!”
“Nobody ever finds us.”
“We’ll see about that.” Robbie closed his eyes and started counting.

162. Though it was a chilly afternoon, Rissa managed to persuade everyone to go into the
backyard and swim a bit. Everyone except Robbie, who was still looking for the twins.

163. “It’s nice to see all the kids getting along, in spite of the age gap,” remarked Suze.
“And aren’t the twins just gorgeous? I was worried for a while I wouldn’t get any
grandchildren from Adam. He and Naomi had so much trouble for a while.”
“Suze.”
“I’m glad that Rissa does have a friend, even after that disaster. Though I’m not sure
about that boy. He speaks as if he were from a Jane Austen novel.”
“Suze.”

164. “Do you think maybe we should have a dinner party? Friends and family. Maybe James
could bring his wife and daughter.”
“SUZE.”
“What is it, Parker?”
“I want to marry you.”