1. TOPIC 4: CHILDREN
IN RELATIONSHIPS
Examining how our understanding of
children influences the ways we interact
and relate to them

2. Bill Cosby on “The Grown-Ups.”

3. Bill Cosby on “The Grown-Ups.”

4. Expanding Perspectives on
ADULT-CHILD
RELATIONSHIPS

5. (A RECAP FROM
LAST TIME)

6. What do EXPERTS say?
What do ADULTS do?
What do CHILDREN need?

7. What do CHILDREN need?
What do ADULTS do?
What do EXPERTS say?

14. What are some of the dominant
cultural repertoires within our
culture of parenting?

15. BIASES IN ADULT / CHILD
INTERACTIONS
Become a dominant set of cultural
repertoires
Exist in schools, health care,
counseling, media, culture in general...
(Lareau, 2003)

16. (What biases or cultural
pressures do you recognize in
the following film trailers?)

17. TRAILERS FOR...
Friends with Kids
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
We Need to Talk about Kevin

20. CURRENT BIASES
(in mainstream American culture):
Talking with children
Developing educational interests
Taking an active role in schooling
Reasoning
Problem-solving through negotiation

21. Moving Toward...
BETTER UNDERSTANDING
Adult-Child Interactions

22. 4 STYLES 3 PHILOSOPHIES
Authoritarian Traditionalist
Authoritative Maximizing
Options
Permissive
Present-
Uninvolved Oriented

23. PARENTING
Warm Cool
STYLES:
Strong
Authoritative Authoritarian
Boundaries
Loose
Permissive Uninvolved
Boundaries

24. AUTHORITARIAN
Interactions Have Clear
Boundaries
Relationship Lacks Warmth
Adult Controls Child through Fear
(e.g., punishment)

25. PERMISSIVE
Interactions Lack Boundaries
Relationship Involves Warmth
Adult does not typically attempt to
control child

26. AUTHORITATIVE
Interactions Have Clear
Boundaries
Relationship Involves Warmth
Adult Controls Child through
Status (e.g., authority)

27. UNINVOLVED
Interactions Lack Boundaries
Relationship Lacks Warmth
Adult typically neglects child

28. We can also examine...
PHILOSOPHIES /
ORIENTATIONS
OF PARENTING

29. PARENTING PHILOSOPHIES
Traditionalist – Emphasizes Recreating
Family History and Culture in Adults
Maximizing Options — Emphasizes
Utilizing Resources to Improve Child’s
Chances as an Adult
Present-Oriented — Emphasizes Meeting
Children’s Immediate Needs

30. Some ways how...
SOCIO-ECONOMIC CLASS
CAN INFLUENCE AND DISTINGUISH
PARENTING PHILOSOPHIES
(From Annette Lareau’s
“Unequal Childhoods”, 2003)

31. CLASS BACKGROUNDS & PARENTING
Middle/Upper-Middle Class Parents
Maximize Options
Foster Discussion
Promote Relative Equality
Control Children’s Time

32. CLASS BACKGROUNDS & PARENTING
Working/Lower Class Parents
Support Traditions
Use Directives
Foster Clear Boundaries
Control Children’s Actions

33. What does parenting
ACTUALLY involve, though?

34. PARENTING:
“An Ethic of Care”
A parent’s work involves balancing
growth while socializing children
(Sara Ruddick)

35. Based on this “Ethic of Care,” can we find...
NEW APPROACHES
TO RELATING WITH CHILDREN?

36. DEMOCRATIC / INFLUENTIAL
Present-Oriented
Interactions Based on Mutual Respect
and Negotiation
Relationships Involve Warmth
Adult Influences Child through Empathy
and Communication

37. IN-CLASS ACTIVITY:
ANALYZING ADULT-
CHILD RELATIONSHIPS

38. ANALYSIS QUESTIONS:
1) What does [a person] know about children in
general, and in a specific situation?
2) What do they believe about children, etc.?
3) How does this knowledge belief system affect
their actions/interactions with children?

39. (Examples with scenes from
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE)
“Having Dinner”
“Breakfast On the Road”

40. Grounding What We Do In
CHILDREN’S NEEDS

41. Infants Need:
1) Environmental variety
2) Predictability
3) Caretaking by adults
4) Opportunities to practice motor skills
(Jerome Kagan, 1984)

42. Preschoolers Need (in addition):
5) Opportunities to master body and
object problems
6) Receive actions, gestures, and
communications that affirm worth
(Jerome Kagan, 1984)

43. What Should New Models of
Parenting Look Like?
What Should They Include?
Protection/Safety
Support/Growth
Socialization/Compliance
Communication/Empowerment

44. Safety & <-> Children’s
Standards Autonomy

45. Guiding <-> Children’s
Children Creativity

46. Social <-> Accountability
Accountability to Children

47. Preparing <-> Predicting the
Children Future?

48. WHY DOES ALL OF
THIS MATTER?

49. One Example...

50. Children’s Creativity

52. (SEE ALSO:
Ken Robinson on “Approaching an Unknown Future.“)

53. GRIT & RESILIENCE
(See: Paul Tough’s work)

54. TRUST
(e.g. The Marshmallow Study)

55. A Relevant Question...
IS “OBEDIENCE”
THE GOAL?

56. “Disobedience is not an issue
if obedience is not the goal.”
– Doran Quinian

57. Further Examples:
RE-IMAGINING
PLAYGROUNDS

59. Further Examples:
RE-IMAGINING
EDUCATION

61. “We like to say that the child is competent but
it is not enough just to declare this. If we
really want the child to be competent, we have
to change time, space, roles and rules to
permit this competent child to exist.”
— Carlina Rinaldi

62. Time, space, roles and rules

63. THINK ABOUT IT...
What Would Your Own
Parenting Book, or Recipe for
an Ideal Childhood, Look Like?

64. ALTERNATELY...
What Would Your Ideal School, or
Mode of Education (Formal or
Informal), Look Like for a Child?

65. HOMEWORK:
* Your Own Parenting Book/Recipe for Childhood
* Relationship Map
* Finish Reading Sternheimer – Readings from Part 4
(pp. 181-197, 237-246, 266-280)