Surviving an emotional affair is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. You have caught your spouse cheating. It has knocked the wind out of you and destroyed any semblance of trust that your marriage was built on. And yet many people, after having taken a little time to digest things, decide they want to do what it takes to save their marriage.
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Surviving an Emotional Affair - Steps to Save Your Marriage After an Emotional Affair
1. Surviving an Emotional Affair - Steps to Save Your Marriage
After an Emotional Affair
http://www.saving-relationships.com
Surviving an emotional affair is one of the most difficult things a person can
go through. You have caught your spouse cheating. It has knocked the wind
out of you and destroyed any semblance of trust that your marriage was built
on. And yet many people, after having taken a little time to digest things,
decide they want to do what it takes to save their marriage.
2. The fact that you are reading this article would indicate that you fall in that
category. Most people that share this mindset figure they have invested
years into being with this person who they loved enough to marry, so why
should they just walk away and just leave all that to somebody else. You took
your vows seriously…for better or for worse till death do you part.
3. The fact that you are reading this article would indicate that you fall in that
category. Most people that share this mindset figure they have invested
years into being with this person who they loved enough to marry, so why
should they just walk away and just leave all that to somebody else. You took
your vows seriously…for better or for worse till death do you part.
So you have made the decision, or are at least seriously thinking about saving
your marriage after an emotional affair. Now what? How do you go about it?
Well, first, a word of advice on what you don’t want to do.
4. Do Not Live in the Past - One common reaction is to try to move the
marriage back to what it once was. To try and get to a time when your
marriage was in a better and much happier state. You have to understand
that by doing that, you run the risk of moving your marriage to the place
where problems started in the first place. Many married couples look through
rose-colored glasses to what they consider to be a happier time in the
marriage, not realizing that often times couples will carry baggage and past
negativity along with them right up to the present time. So don’t just try to
go back.
5. Start Rebuilding a New Foundation - The good news for you in surviving and
emotional affair is that thousands of couples have done it before you! In fact,
there are countless stories of couples who feel like their marriage is stronger
than it ever was before the affair.
6. Start Rebuilding a New Foundation - The good news for you in surviving and
emotional affair is that thousands of couples have done it before you! In fact,
there are countless stories of couples who feel like their marriage is stronger
than it ever was before the affair.
From where you are sitting today, it may seem like a very long journey to
rebuild the trust and rebuild the foundation of your marriage that has
crumbled recently. It takes effort and that effort must come from both
parties, but we will talk about the steps you can take to get you started on
the path.
7. Start Rebuilding a New Foundation - The good news for you in surviving and
emotional affair is that thousands of couples have done it before you! In fact,
there are countless stories of couples who feel like their marriage is stronger
than it ever was before the affair.
From where you are sitting today, it may seem like a very long journey to
rebuild the trust and rebuild the foundation of your marriage that has
crumbled recently. It takes effort and that effort must come from both
parties, but we will talk about the steps you can take to get you started on
the path.
First and foremost, it is critical that your focus be on the future and
improving things from today forward. Dwelling in the past and/or harboring
ill will only serves to derail or significantly slow down the process. With this in
mind, here are the steps you will want to employ…
8. 1. Take Stock and Evaluate You and your spouse must begin by taking an
account of where the trouble areas in your marriage lie. Are there unmet
needs being experienced by one or the other of you? Do either of you feel
neglected? Are you being affectionate enough towards each other? Are the
household chores being divvied up sufficiently? Do one or the other of you
feel like you need to be going out on dates more or spending more time
together?
9. 1. Take Stock and Evaluate You and your spouse must begin by taking an
account of where the trouble areas in your marriage lie. Are there unmet
needs being experienced by one or the other of you? Do either of you feel
neglected? Are you being affectionate enough towards each other? Are the
household chores being divvied up sufficiently? Do one or the other of you
feel like you need to be going out on dates more or spending more time
together?
The biggest thing to identify here is that you are indeed both committed to
repairing your marriage and both understand the effort and energy and
patience it will take to do so. If this is not established, it can lead to a good
deal of fighting, bickering, and frustration.
10. 2. Specifically State the Areas That Need Improvement Once you and your
spouse have come to agreement on the areas that need work and attention
when surviving an emotional affair, it is always a good idea to write them
down. Use this as a sheet of goals, if you will.
11. 2. Specifically State the Areas That Need Improvement Once you and your
spouse have come to agreement on the areas that need work and attention
when surviving an emotional affair, it is always a good idea to write them
down. Use this as a sheet of goals, if you will.
You would be surprised that after years of combat with each other over these
very same issues how common the tendency is to tune the other out. By
writing your goals down instead of verbalizing, it often helps you and your
spouse to more consciously focus on the areas that most need to be
improved.
12. 3. Come Up With Solutions Together Work with your spouse to come up
with ways that you can correct and improve the areas that you both agreed
are in need of attention and wrote down. You will not have near the level of
success in correcting them unless you both work together on doing so.
13. 3. Come Up With Solutions Together Work with your spouse to come up
with ways that you can correct and improve the areas that you both agreed
are in need of attention and wrote down. You will not have near the level of
success in correcting them unless you both work together on doing so.
Surviving an affair and saving your marriage requires a broad range of effort
from both you and your spouse. Problems and issues that took years to
develop and entrench won’t resolve themselves overnight, nor will painful
affair memories go away at the flip of a switch.
Saving your marriage is a commitment to stepping outside of old habits and
comfort zones, and into unfamiliar territory. But in exchange, you may finally
have the marriage of your dreams.
14. Surviving an emotional affair is not an easy undertaking and it is
recommended you seek assistance in accomplishing it. To restore the trust
and save your marriage from divorce you need to download the 7-Part
Survive an Affair course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant
access.
Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes
articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages.
Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or
further enhance their relationship.