Living Without Linemen—PHP Community Conference 2011

Living without
your Linemen
PHP Community Conference: Closing Keynote

Nashville, TN: April 22, 2011, 5pm

Friday, April 22, 2011

Who am I?
Me (and others) on a deck of
cards


PHP
Terrorist
Have a nice Chay!


“…when I created the
Web”

— (not) A l Gore


Chayism
http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/
One ounce of Terry
Chay contains seven
pounds of awesome

최 태 리


Chayism
/

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Terry Chay does not
walk, or run, or Chayism
drive, or take an
airplane to a place. /

He simply uses a
Keynote transition.

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PHP in 2011

R asmus
http://talks.php.net/show/p
hpcon2011/


1500 Lines Of
Code
PHP Advent 2009

http://phpadvent.org/2009/
1500-lines-of-
code-by-terry-chay


John Henry of
C++


1500 Lines of
Code/Day
(max)
“Except Java”

Java: It only takes three years
to put in a hard days work!


Outliers
Malcolm Gladwell

10,000 Hours of Diligent
Practice
http://www.amazon.com/g
p/product/
0316017922?tag=terrychay
-20


Talent is
Overrated
Geoff Colvin

10,000 Hours = 20/week week
* every week * 10 years!
p/product/
0316017922?tag=terrych
ay-20


1500 lines of code

Half a Million Line codebase = Peak Day, Every Day, 1
Year


Terry Chay doesn't
write code, he just Chayism
thinks it, and
minions do it for him http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/

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Why: Three Stories


1. Ops are your
offensive line
http://terrychay.com/artic
le/special-
sysadmin-appreciation-day.
shtml


Quarterback
Site Architect


Running Back
Programmer


Wide Receiver
Programmer


Offensive Line
System Operations


Keep Your
Line Happy
Last Friday in July

http://www.sysadminday.co
m/


2. Story of Rails


“The Hottest Hacker on
the Earth.”

— WIRED
Wired 14.04 page 3


“Fuck You.”

nemeier Hansson
—D avid Hei
David 3:16


“fuckity fuck fucking
fuck fuck.”

—EXPLICIT TAG
#TCFC +=5


“coding these web apps
themselves involves a lot
of swearing—a lot of
blood, sweat and swear.”

—Me
http://shiﬂett.org/blog/2006
/
aug/blood-sweat-and-swea
r-
terry-chay-on-pro-php-podc
ast


“I can’t run Rails in
mod_ruby on Apache on
a shared host”

o has ever tried
—A nyone wh

http://blog.dreamhost.com
/
2008/01/07/how-ruby-on-r
ails-
could-be-much-better/


“Read/Writes as websites
grow don’t scale evenly with
Moore’s Law, so a bigger
machine isn’t solving my
database problems.”

e who h as built
—Anyon
th real
le/

bsite wi
sharting-on-sharding.shtm
l
a we growth
(hockey stick)


“Fuck Comcast.”

—Me
Every time the intertubes
get tied


The Internet doesn't
go down, Terry Chayism
Chay's laptop just
goes into sleep mode http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/

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“Fucking AT&T.”

—Me
Every time I use my cell ph
one in San Francisco


“Fuck Steve Jobs.
*blargh!*”

—Me
Gray Screen of Death Event


The real reason
there's no spyware Chayism
for MacOS is that
it's afraid of Terry http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/
Chay

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“$haystack, $needle or
$needle, $haystack? I
fucking hate PHP!”

—Me
In UR Website, c0ding UR sh
it


Terry Chay beat the
Internet... with only Chayism
one quarter http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/

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Rock and Hard Place Scylla and Charybdis


“80% of the effects come
from 20% of the causes”

— Pareto
http://en.wikipedia.org/wik
i/
Pareto_principle


“Ruby is really good at what it
does. The problem is that for
what Ruby [on Rails] does
really well, I can download
Matt Mullenweg’s WordPress”

—Me
le/is-ruby-
the-dog-and-php-the-dogfoo
d.shtml


Phorum

Bria n Moon
http://joind.in/talk/view/3
343


Innovator’s
Dilemma
Malcolm Gladwell

Disruptive Technologies

p/product/
ay-20


“[Disruptive Technologies] offered
less of what customers in
established markets wanted and so
could rarely be initially employed
there. They offered a different
package of attributes valued only in
emerging markets remote from, and
unimportant to, the mainstream.”

ton Chris tianson
—Clay Innovator’s Dilemma


“[Disruptive Technologies] suck.”

—(s horter)
Christi anson
C layton
Innovator’s Dilemma


“The S3 data storage that
Amazon and SmugMug
showed is impressive,
but the EC2 cloud stuff
was the most interesting,
because it is disruptive.”

sting Thing @
ost Intere
—The M ZendCon Fall 2006


“Rails: It succeeds because it sucks.”

imating Rails
—Me, Misest
Capistrano,
CruisceControl.rb, GitHub,
a
gajillion admin consoles fo
r
AWS


3. Story of PHP


PHP’s S3

• Simplicity
• Scalability
• Straighforwardness


“A project done in Java will
cost 5 times as much, take
twice as long, and be harder
to maintain than a project
done in a scripting language
such as PHP or Perl.”

ip Gree nspun
—Phill http://blogs.law.harvard.edu
/
philg/2003/09/20/


“That a Java servlet performs better
than a PHP script, under optimal
conditions [has] nothing to do with
scalability. The point is can your
application continue to deliver
consistent performance as volume
increases. PHP delegates all the ‘hard
stuff’ to other systems.”

H arry F uecks
—
http://blogs.sitepoint.com/t
he-
j2ee-guy-still-doesnt-get-php
/


“PHP is not about purity in CS
principles or architecture; it is about
solving the ugly web problem with an
admittedly ugly, but extremely
functional and convenient solution. If
you are looking for purity, you are in
the wrong boat. Get out now before you
get hit by a wet cat!”

Ras mus L erdorf
—
http://news.php.net/articl
e.php?
group=php.internals&articl
e=2715


“PHP: It succeeds because it sucks.”

—Me
Simplicity + Scalability +
Straightforward = Suck =
Success!


Rock and Hard
Place
Your drinking habits make me
very, very worried for the
future of PHP


From Earth to Jupiter
With NASA

Marce l Esser
350


XHProf and
WonderProxy

l Reinh eimer
Pau
346


Terry Chay doesn't
profile his code, he Chayism
just commands it to
run better. http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/

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Terry Chay's
semicolons make Chayism
that line of code
74% faster http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/

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The Good, The Bad & The
Ugly: What Happened to
Unicode in PHP 6

ndrei Zm ievski
A
349


HipHop


What: Three
Infrastructures


1. Your Infrastructure
on a Shared Host


Lesson: Do More with Less


Is It Handmade Code If
You Use Power Tools?

—LB D enker
347


The Story of Spaz

—Ed F inkler
345


2. Infrastructure as a
Computer


“The datacenter is the
new box.”

son Ho ffman,
— Ja
Joyent
http://pro.gigaom.com/
2010/11/the-data-center-is
-
the-new-box-are-you-ready
/


Web Services

Lo rna M itchell
—
338


Service


Traditional Cloud
Predict and purchase Elastic
Shared->Colocation Economies of Scale
Pay for server Pay as you go
Capitalize No up-front investment
Fixed Cost Variable
CAPEX OPEX
discreet allocations ﬁne-grained allocation
disassociated costs associated costs
staging, RAAD experimentation is cheap9


Facebook Open
Compute
Project

http://www.facebook.com/n
otes/facebook-
engineering/building-efﬁcie
nt-data-
centers-with-the-open-com
pute-project/


Open-source Data
Center Design
Commodity Hardware

Power and cost efﬁciencies


“It’s usually in a
business’ best interests
to commoditize its
complements.”

M arco A rment
—
http://www.marco.org/201
1/04/09/
facebooks-open-compute-p
roject


“Whenever iPhone
succeeds, Google
succeeds.”

aniel A legre,
—D -Paciﬁc
f Goog le Asia
Head o
http://www.adnews.com.au/
news/
google-we-want-iphone-to-gr
ow


Infrastructure as
a Commodity
http://www.readwriteweb.c
om/cloud/2011/04/
what-facebooks-opencompu
te-mea.php


How: Three Levels of
Application


Service


Slicehost


Start your own shit

• database, Memcache, load balancing
• svn/git/GitHub
• trac, stats, (and other internal tools)
• deployment solution like Capistrano (Ruby)


Gentoo is for Ricers


Amazon Web Services


AWS Free
http://aws.amazon.com/fre
e/

• 750 hours of Amazon EC2 Linux Micro Instance usage
(613 MB of memory and 32-bit and 64-bit platform
support) – enough hours to run continuously each
month*

• 750 hours of an Elastic Load Balancer plus 15 GB data
processing*

• 10 GB of Amazon Elastic Block Storage, plus 1 million
I/Os, 1 GB of snapshot storage, 10,000 snapshot Get
Requests and 1,000 snapshot Put Requests*


Three Tiers
EC2, S3, Database (RDS,
Base
SimpleDB…)

CloudFront, Route 53,
Services SQS, SMS, FPS,
Mechanical Turk
Managment Console, Elastic
Management Beanstalk, Toolkit for
Eclipse,Virtual Private Cloud


“Basically [AWS] is
programmable
infrastructure”

f Barr, Senior
—Jef
Ev angelis t AWS
p/product/
ay-20


“Why Amazon's cloud
Titanic went down.”

—CNN
http://money.cnn.com/201
1/04/22/
technology/amazon_ec2_c
loud_outage/?


2. Platform as a Service


dotCloud
http://www.dotcloud.com/


Orchestra
http://orchestra.io/


Mastering Zend
Framework 2 Patterns

ier O'Ph inney
Matthew We
339


Lithium

Joël Perras
341


ZippyKid
http://zippykid.com/


Start Here > Finish
Somewhere


Programmer as
Operations


The Original Hypertext
Preprocessor

Dr ew Mc Lellan
344


Start(up) yourself


yism
Security is low
priority for Terry
Chay because he Cha
knows the internet's http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/
got his back[ups]

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Gimme Bar

Sean Coates
348


XHProf and
WonderProxy

Pa ul Reinheimer
346


PHP was never
about PHP
Without PHP, LAMP would just be LAM(e).


Frontend Caching: The
New Frontier

Þorbjö rnsson
He lgi Þor mar
340


Battle
Wounds

le/
cuts-and-scars.shtml


Chayism
/

When Terry Chay
throws $10k into
the air, he doesn't
bother picking it up

최 태 리

Haiping
is smarter than you.


Contact Me
http://
terrychay.com/

“I promise to blog
@tychay more.”

tychay@php.net

Terry Chay doesn't
get stage fright.
http://joind.in/talk/view/3351 Stages get
frightened of Terry
Chay.


careermania.com
estimates that your
salary expectations Chayism
can increase by
$5000 each time http://phpdoc.info/chayism
/
Terry Chay mentions
your name in a talk

최 태 리


Living Without Linemen—PHP Community Conference 2011

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