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10 Essential Things Parents Need to Know About Cyberbullying


Although cyberbullying is a national issue, the solutions start at home.

In this guide, uKnowKids has assembled 10 essentials for parents so that
you have the knowledge you need to understand the problem and
consequences, see the signs, know how to deal with and even
prevent cyberbullying from devastating a child in your household.
#1      Cyberbullying: Where and How




 Cyberbullying is inherently different from regular bullying in that it can happen anywhere, even in the child’s
  own home.

 Cyberbullying lives forever. Every word and picture is recorded online.

 For parents, being able to spot the problem puts you one step closer
to being able to stop it.
#2      Cyberbullying Warning Signs

Typically, if you are paying attention, there are clear signs that a child may be a victim of cyberbullying. Take
note of the following:



  Depression                                                  Reluctance to attend school and social events
  Suddenly stopping using computers, phones, video            Avoidance of conversations about computer
   games or social media                                        use
  Stressful or anxious reactions to text messages, e-         Low self-esteem
   mails or instant messages                                   Declining grades
  Withdrawal from family and friends                          And more.




If you notice some of these signs creeping into your child's behavior, it's time to talk about what's going on.
#3      Teach Your Kids What to Do




 Ignore mean or threatening messages.

 Block the sender.

 Save the evidence.

 Turn off the computer and walk away.

 Tell a parent or trusted adult.
#4     Cyberbullying: How Parents Should Respond




 First, don't overreact. Get all the details before assuming the worst.

 Meet with school administrators to discuss a plan of action and the school's bullying/cyberbullying policy.

 Talk about the situation with the bully’s parents. A school guidance counselor
  can act as a mediator for this type of meeting.
#4     Cyberbullying: How Parents Should Respond




 Report the bullying incidents to your Internet Service Provider, mobile telephone
company or the website operator. Each will take this matter seriously.

 Set up new accounts. If many people are involved, it may be necessary to change your child’s mobile
  number, e-mail address, screen names and user names.

 If you feel like your child is in danger, contact your local police.
#5      Prevention Through Communication



Cyberbullying might be high tech and new, but the
prevention method sure isn't.

Communication, communication, communication.

Good communication will ensure that your teen
doesn't feel the need to lie about his or her Internet
activity.
#5      Prevention Through Communication




Know what's going on at school.

Cyberbullying rarely happens in a vacuum. It usually happens
in combination with in-person bullying at school.

Establish rapport with your child's teachers, principals and
guidance counselor. Talk about who is on your children's
social networking buddy list and how they know each person.
#5      Prevention Through Communication

Here are some questions to ask your child:


     Has anyone ever been mean to you online? How did you respond?

     Have you ever been mean to anyone online? Why?

     Is it OK to forward a text message making fun of someone? Why or why not?

     Do you know you school’s policy on bullying?

     Which teacher would you talk to if you were being bullied?




Make sure your child is prepared to identify cyberbullying and knows how to deal with an incident should it occur.
#6      Prevention Through Privacy

Equipping kids with basic online skills can help them prevent cyberbullying or
at least minimize the damage if cyberbullying happens to them.

Teach them:


              Not                               How                                       That
 to accept just anyone as a        to use privacy settings.              they should report cyberbullying
  friend.                           to request the removal of              whether it happens to them or others.
 to ever share their passwords.     offensive information.                anything they say online is there forever.
 to ever share contact             to block unfriendly users.            "private" messages might not be kept
  information online.               to save the evidence, whether it's     private ― it's easy to forward and
                                     a text message, screen shot, web       repost, or a friend's wall might be set as
                                     page address or chat window.           "public."
                                                                           spreading rumors and gossip makes
                                                                            them a bully, too.
#7      Prevention Through Life Skills

There is no magic formula, but if you can help your child master these skills, he or she will be less likely to
become a victim and be better equipped to successfully deal with cyberbullying if it happens.




   Promote self-esteem and confidence.
   Teach restraint
   Enable social skills
   Teach assertiveness
   Encourage involvement
#8      What if My Child is the Bully?

It's easier to believe that your tween or teen could be a victim of cyberbullying than to believe that he or
she could actually be engaging in cyberbullying behavior.

After you get over the initial shock of finding out your child's actions, take these steps:


     Stay Calm
     Ask questions first
     Reinstate online privileges gradually
     Try to make reparations
#9      Teach Your Kids What Not to Do

These behaviors are also actually forms of cyberbullying, not just “joking around” like some children
might believe:




     Forwarding personal texts or photos.

     Impersonating someone else online.

     Changing someone else's password.

     Changing a profile or away message to embarrass someone.
#9      Teach Your Kids What Not to Do




No Innocent Bystanders: If your child is aware of cyberbullying at
school, he or she should try to help stop it.




Staying silent just contributes to the abuse.
#10      When Cyberbullying is a Crime



Saying something hateful to someone might be free
speech, but when actions go beyond that and venture
into harassment, intimidation, threats, stalking, hacking
into another person's computer and sending explicit
photos to minors, that's when the law can step in with
real charges.

In the case of child pornography or sexual predator
laws, cyberbullying can have lifetime ramifications.
#10     When Cyberbullying is a Crime




Forwarding a sexual picture of someone underage is an
even bigger mistake than taking and sending one in the
first place (even a child sending one of him or herself).

Not only does it open up the person in the image to
further humiliation, but it exposes the child to the
double charge of possessing and distributing child
pornography.
#10     When Cyberbullying is a Crime




Schools with "zero tolerance policies" about bullying, cyber or
otherwise, may leave no room for any kind of defense, context
of the actions or appeal.

A first-time offender gets the same punishment as a pathological
bully who probably does need to be removed from the school.
How                                Can Help




uKnowKids is a child internet and mobile safety
product created by the world’s leading parental
intelligence company, uKnow.com.

We are here to help fight the battle of cyberbullying
against children, yours in particular.
How                                                        Can Help


There are many ways we can help:

1.   uKnowKids monitors and aggregates your child’s social networks, including Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and
     Instagram, in one place so you can easily spot any usual and dangerous activity. uKnowKids will also send
     notifications to your mobile phone via text message or email address if there is any behavior that could be
     considered cyberbullying.
2.   Our product makes it easier to monitor activities and trends on all social media platforms. That way, if one
     person is interacting more with your child, possibly in a negative way, you can easily spot it.
3.   Tagging embarrasing, photoshopped or inappropriate pictures are very common forms of cyberbullying.
     uKnowKids allows you to easily see all of the images associated with your child’s social network sites which
     allows you to take appropriate measures before the situtation gets out of hand.
4.   Mobile phone monitoring also makes it easy to see if your child is cyberbullying someone or becoming the
     victim of cyberbullying via harrasing or unkind text messages.



To learn more and take the first step in protect your child, visit www.uknowkids.com.
For much more content and a full list of references, resources, and contributors,
                     download our original eBook entitled
    “10 Essential Things Every Parent Needs to Know About Cyberbullying”.


For more information on cyberbullying, sexting, online predators, and keeping
               children safe online visit our resources page.

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10 Essential Things Parents Need to Know About Cyberbullying

  • 1.
  • 2. 10 Essential Things Parents Need to Know About Cyberbullying Although cyberbullying is a national issue, the solutions start at home. In this guide, uKnowKids has assembled 10 essentials for parents so that you have the knowledge you need to understand the problem and consequences, see the signs, know how to deal with and even prevent cyberbullying from devastating a child in your household.
  • 3. #1 Cyberbullying: Where and How  Cyberbullying is inherently different from regular bullying in that it can happen anywhere, even in the child’s own home.  Cyberbullying lives forever. Every word and picture is recorded online.  For parents, being able to spot the problem puts you one step closer to being able to stop it.
  • 4. #2 Cyberbullying Warning Signs Typically, if you are paying attention, there are clear signs that a child may be a victim of cyberbullying. Take note of the following:  Depression  Reluctance to attend school and social events  Suddenly stopping using computers, phones, video  Avoidance of conversations about computer games or social media use  Stressful or anxious reactions to text messages, e-  Low self-esteem mails or instant messages  Declining grades  Withdrawal from family and friends  And more. If you notice some of these signs creeping into your child's behavior, it's time to talk about what's going on.
  • 5. #3 Teach Your Kids What to Do  Ignore mean or threatening messages.  Block the sender.  Save the evidence.  Turn off the computer and walk away.  Tell a parent or trusted adult.
  • 6. #4 Cyberbullying: How Parents Should Respond  First, don't overreact. Get all the details before assuming the worst.  Meet with school administrators to discuss a plan of action and the school's bullying/cyberbullying policy.  Talk about the situation with the bully’s parents. A school guidance counselor can act as a mediator for this type of meeting.
  • 7. #4 Cyberbullying: How Parents Should Respond  Report the bullying incidents to your Internet Service Provider, mobile telephone company or the website operator. Each will take this matter seriously.  Set up new accounts. If many people are involved, it may be necessary to change your child’s mobile number, e-mail address, screen names and user names.  If you feel like your child is in danger, contact your local police.
  • 8. #5 Prevention Through Communication Cyberbullying might be high tech and new, but the prevention method sure isn't. Communication, communication, communication. Good communication will ensure that your teen doesn't feel the need to lie about his or her Internet activity.
  • 9. #5 Prevention Through Communication Know what's going on at school. Cyberbullying rarely happens in a vacuum. It usually happens in combination with in-person bullying at school. Establish rapport with your child's teachers, principals and guidance counselor. Talk about who is on your children's social networking buddy list and how they know each person.
  • 10. #5 Prevention Through Communication Here are some questions to ask your child:  Has anyone ever been mean to you online? How did you respond?  Have you ever been mean to anyone online? Why?  Is it OK to forward a text message making fun of someone? Why or why not?  Do you know you school’s policy on bullying?  Which teacher would you talk to if you were being bullied? Make sure your child is prepared to identify cyberbullying and knows how to deal with an incident should it occur.
  • 11. #6 Prevention Through Privacy Equipping kids with basic online skills can help them prevent cyberbullying or at least minimize the damage if cyberbullying happens to them. Teach them: Not How That  to accept just anyone as a  to use privacy settings.  they should report cyberbullying friend.  to request the removal of whether it happens to them or others.  to ever share their passwords. offensive information.  anything they say online is there forever.  to ever share contact  to block unfriendly users.  "private" messages might not be kept information online.  to save the evidence, whether it's private ― it's easy to forward and a text message, screen shot, web repost, or a friend's wall might be set as page address or chat window. "public."  spreading rumors and gossip makes them a bully, too.
  • 12. #7 Prevention Through Life Skills There is no magic formula, but if you can help your child master these skills, he or she will be less likely to become a victim and be better equipped to successfully deal with cyberbullying if it happens.  Promote self-esteem and confidence.  Teach restraint  Enable social skills  Teach assertiveness  Encourage involvement
  • 13. #8 What if My Child is the Bully? It's easier to believe that your tween or teen could be a victim of cyberbullying than to believe that he or she could actually be engaging in cyberbullying behavior. After you get over the initial shock of finding out your child's actions, take these steps:  Stay Calm  Ask questions first  Reinstate online privileges gradually  Try to make reparations
  • 14. #9 Teach Your Kids What Not to Do These behaviors are also actually forms of cyberbullying, not just “joking around” like some children might believe:  Forwarding personal texts or photos.  Impersonating someone else online.  Changing someone else's password.  Changing a profile or away message to embarrass someone.
  • 15. #9 Teach Your Kids What Not to Do No Innocent Bystanders: If your child is aware of cyberbullying at school, he or she should try to help stop it. Staying silent just contributes to the abuse.
  • 16. #10 When Cyberbullying is a Crime Saying something hateful to someone might be free speech, but when actions go beyond that and venture into harassment, intimidation, threats, stalking, hacking into another person's computer and sending explicit photos to minors, that's when the law can step in with real charges. In the case of child pornography or sexual predator laws, cyberbullying can have lifetime ramifications.
  • 17. #10 When Cyberbullying is a Crime Forwarding a sexual picture of someone underage is an even bigger mistake than taking and sending one in the first place (even a child sending one of him or herself). Not only does it open up the person in the image to further humiliation, but it exposes the child to the double charge of possessing and distributing child pornography.
  • 18. #10 When Cyberbullying is a Crime Schools with "zero tolerance policies" about bullying, cyber or otherwise, may leave no room for any kind of defense, context of the actions or appeal. A first-time offender gets the same punishment as a pathological bully who probably does need to be removed from the school.
  • 19. How Can Help uKnowKids is a child internet and mobile safety product created by the world’s leading parental intelligence company, uKnow.com. We are here to help fight the battle of cyberbullying against children, yours in particular.
  • 20. How Can Help There are many ways we can help: 1. uKnowKids monitors and aggregates your child’s social networks, including Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and Instagram, in one place so you can easily spot any usual and dangerous activity. uKnowKids will also send notifications to your mobile phone via text message or email address if there is any behavior that could be considered cyberbullying. 2. Our product makes it easier to monitor activities and trends on all social media platforms. That way, if one person is interacting more with your child, possibly in a negative way, you can easily spot it. 3. Tagging embarrasing, photoshopped or inappropriate pictures are very common forms of cyberbullying. uKnowKids allows you to easily see all of the images associated with your child’s social network sites which allows you to take appropriate measures before the situtation gets out of hand. 4. Mobile phone monitoring also makes it easy to see if your child is cyberbullying someone or becoming the victim of cyberbullying via harrasing or unkind text messages. To learn more and take the first step in protect your child, visit www.uknowkids.com.
  • 21. For much more content and a full list of references, resources, and contributors, download our original eBook entitled “10 Essential Things Every Parent Needs to Know About Cyberbullying”. For more information on cyberbullying, sexting, online predators, and keeping children safe online visit our resources page.