Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing
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Notes from a workshop at a local community trust aimed to enhance personal sustainability.
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Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing
- 1. Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex © Joel Young (2011) With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts. Emotional Economics A recent development of my thoughts around personality has led me to focus much more on ‘needs’. To need is to be human. In the beginning it was said, ‘It’s not good for man to be alone.’ and I suspect this was a reflection of our great human need for connection. As a link to other workshops check this diagram to see where needs/longings may fit in. Understanding &Filling Human Needs De-shaming ‘needs’ Q. What are some basic human needs? Friends, family and co-workers Q.Relationships help meet my need for…? Work Satisfaction & Uniqueness Q. What need does work meet in my life? My Story = My Needs Q. Because of my life/family story I have a need for…? Rescuing is repeatedly doing for others what they can and should do for themselves. We do this because of two main reasons. 1. Fear Driven Lack of reassurances to deal with the potential pain. Q.My fear of _____________ leads me to___________. 2. Need Driven Over-compensating as a strategy to meet my needs. Q.I ‘rescue’ because it fulfils my need for ___________. Q. A better strategy to meet this need would be ___________. To Summarise… We all have needs, they are not to be ‘shamed’ as being ‘needy’, nor are they to be translated into demands that we put on others. We do need to be aware of what we need so we can then be intentional about keeping ourselves ‘healthy’ emotionally. Further Resources- www.NewInsight.co.nz Notes:
- 2. Self-Care and The ‘Rescuer’ Complex © Joel Young (2011) With acknowledgements to D.Riddell’s& M. Rosenburg’sconcepts. Some Common Human Needs CONNECTION acceptance affection appreciation belonging cooperation communication closeness community companionship compassion consideration consistency empathy inclusion intimacy love mutuality nurturing respect/self-respect safety security stability support to know and be known to see and be seen to understand and be understood trust warmth HONESTY authenticity integrity presence PLAY joy humour PEACE beauty communion ease equality harmony inspiration order PHYSICAL WELLBEING air food movement/exercise rest/sleep sexual expression safety shelter touch water MEANING awareness celebration of life challenge clarity competence consciousness contribution creativity discovery efficacy effectiveness growth hope learning mourning participation purpose self-expression stimulation to matter understanding AUTONOMY choice freedom independence space spontaneity