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REVEALED: Volkswagen’s Emissions PowerPoint

(if they had awesome designers and a sense of humor)

Volkswagen has been a highly talked company for almost a year. The reason for this being how they created a software that allowed them to cheat on the emissions test. Just a couple of weeks ago it was released that they, in fact, had a PowerPoint presentation for internal use on how to cheat these emissions test.

Even though the PowerPoint presentation was not leaked publicly, we gathered our designers, added a dash of humor and created this PowerPoint presentation for your enjoyment.
And remember - if you’re about to create a PowerPoint presentation on how to "cheat" your way through the tough business world, feel free to contact us. We will design the best-looking slides, so you’re not embarrassed once they have been leaked.

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REVEALED: Volkswagen’s Emissions PowerPoint

  1. 1. Monkey business: HOW WE CAN CHEAT ON EMISSIONS TESTS. Let’s take our naive customers for a ride. Volkswagen 2006
  2. 2. Playing fair IS TOUGH. Our competitors are eating oysters and drinking champagne while we’re just nibbling on bratwurst. YTD % Market Share in U.S., 2006 24.7% General Motors 17.9% Ford 15.2% Toyota 9.1% Honda 1.9% Volkswagen
  3. 3. It’s not a hardware problem, IT’S A SOFTWARE PROBLEM. Making our cars more fuel efficient is hard. Getting some IT geeks to fake it is way easier. Rural (upanddownhill) Urban (SanDiego) Urban (LosAngeles) Highway Rural (upanddownhill) Urban (SanDiego) Urban (LosAngeles) Highway 0.1 0.2 0.3 0.4 0.5 0.6 0.7 0.8 0.9 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 15xlimit 25xlimit 37xlimit 38xlimit 9xlimit 20xlimit 17xlimit 17xlimit U.S. Limit .04 grams/kilometer Volkswagen Jetta Volkswagen Passat Average emissions of nitrogen oxides in on-road testing GRAMSOFNITROGENOXIDESPERKILOMETER
  4. 4. Introducing: The Lance Armstrong of Cars™ The Lance Armstrong of Cars™ determines where the car is being driven (i.e. highway, road, testing) by analysing a series of factors. Mode switches to “dyno calibration” as The Lance Armstrong of Cars™ recognises automobile is undergoing emission test. Mode switches to “road calibration” as The Lance Armstrong of Cars™ recognises automobile is not being tested by nerds. Effectiveness of emission control system reduced, increasing chance of killing polar bears. Nitrogen oxide levels skyrocket up to 40 times. Result ResultEPA compliant emission levels produced. MODE OF THE VEHICLE? FACTOR ANALYSED Position of steering Speed Duration of Engine Operation Barometric pressure Being tested Normal Operation
  5. 5. THESE ARE THE POTENTIAL LAB RATS! Volkswagen Passat Volkswagen Jetta Volkswagen BeetleActual Rat Actual Rat Porsche Cayenne Audi A7 QuattroActual Rat Actual Rat Actual Rat
  6. 6. THE MOST FUEL-EFFICIENT CAR ACCORDING TO (TOTALLY LEGIT) TESTS Because screw the polar bears Those all important terms and conditions that you really shouldn’t read, because everything we do is totally fine. Don’t worry yourself and stop reading now. Seriously, we made this text super small on purpose. Are you Superman or something? Anyway, the point is, our cars are definitely fuel efficient, because tests proved it. And we promise we didn’t cheat in those tests. And we’re trustworthy. I promise. VW Beetle COOLWORDS
  7. 7. Let’s meet in a year for some oysters and champagne. THINK SMALL. ACT BIG. Contact 24Slides if you want your cheating PowerPoint presentation to look as good as this one!