Power point presentation on Domestic Violence 101

1. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARNESSES

2. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OCCURS… when one person is controlling another through fear and intimidation, often including threats, physical violence, verbal / emotional abuse, etc. Physical attacks may range from shoving to murder

3. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OCCURS… when someone resorts to verbal abuse, harassment, or destruction of personal property in order to control another person

4. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OCCURS… when someone exhibits excessive possessiveness, isolates another person from friends and family, or deprives him or her of physical and economic resources for control

5. FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey, August 1995)

6. FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Nearly one-third of American women (31 %) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives, according to a 1998 Commonwealth Fund survey (The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, May 1999)

7. FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE One in five (21 %) women reported she had been raped or physically or sexually assaulted in her lifetime (The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, May 1999)

8. FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Three in four women (76 %) who reported they had been raped and/or physically assaulted since age 18 said that a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, or date committed the assault (U.S. Department of Justice, Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, November 1998)

9. FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Women are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner (U.S. Department of Justice, Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, March 1998)

11. PHYSICAL ABUSE With Weapons Shoot Stab Burn Hit Strangle Suffocate Kick Restraint Without Weapons Poke, hit, pinch, grab Twist limbs, scratch Pull hair Injure or kill pets Strangle Damage/destroy property Hold down

12. SEXUAL ABUSE Unwanted, forced or coerced sexual acts Forced prostitution Refusal to use condoms Forced pregnancy Mutilation Drugs

13. INTIMIDATION Causing fear by using looks, actions, and gestures Smashing or throwing things Destroying property Abusing pets Showing weapons

14. EMOTIONAL ABUSE Putting partner down Making partner feel bad about him/herself Calling partner names Making partner think s/he is crazy

15. EMOTIONAL ABUSE Playing mind games Humiliating partner Making partner feel guilty

16. ISOLATION Controlling what partner does, who partner sees and talks to, what partner reads, and where partner goes Limiting partner’s outside involvement Using jealousy to justify actions

17. MINIMIZING, DENYING, BLAMING Making light of the abuse Not taking partner’s concerns about the abuse seriously Denying the abuse occurred Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior Saying the partner caused the abuse

18. USING THE CHILDREN Making partner feel guilty about the children Using children to relay messages Using visitation to harass partner

19. USING THE CHILDREN Threatening to take the children away Threatening to call DCF

20. SEX ROLE STEREOTYPES Treating partner like a servant Making all of the decisions in the relationship

21. SEX ROLE STEREOTYPES Acting like “master of the castle” Being the one to define the roles in the relationship

22. ECONOMIC ABUSE Preventing partner from getting or keeping a job Making partner ask for money Giving partner an allowance Taking partner’s money or income Not letting partner know about or have access to income

23. COERCION & THREATS Making and/or carrying out threats Threatening to leave partner Threatening to commit suicide Making partner drop charges Manipulation

25. Non-Threatening Behavior Talking and acting so partner feels safe and comfortable expressing themselves.

26. Respect Listening to partner non-judgmentally Being emotionally affirming and understanding. Valuing partner’s opinions

27. Trust and Support Supporting partner’s goals in life. Respecting partner’s rights to their own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions.

28. Honesty and Accountability Accepting responsibility for self Acknowledging past use of violence Admitting being wrong Communicating openly and truthfully

29. Responsible Parenting Sharing parental responsibilities Being a positive, nonviolence role model for the children

30. Shared Responsibility Mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work Making family decisions together

31. Economic Partnership Making money decisions together Making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements

32. Negotiation and Fairness Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict Accepting changes Being willing to compromise

33. WHY STAY? Belief that the abuser will change or reform Isolated from family, friends, or support system and s/he has no way to check the reality of what the abuser is telling her/him

34. WHY STAY? Difficulty finding work that pays enough to be self-sufficient and/or difficulty with childcare Abuser has threatened to take the children Fear that the abuser will kill her/him, the children, her/himself, family members, if s/he leaves

35. WHY STAY? Shame - s/he doesn’t want anyone to know There may be more good times than bad times Believes s/he is the cause of the violence and therefore can make the abuse stop if s/he says or does the right things

36. WHY STAY? Doubts that s/he can make on his/her own Slow and/or ineffective legal response, which can’t or won’t protect him/her Believes that divorce or leaving the relationship is wrong—often reinforced by clergy, family, friends, and society

37. WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSONALITY Jealousy Controlling behavior Quick involvement Unrealistic expectations

38. WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSONALITY Isolation Blames others for problems Blames others for feelings Cruelty to animals

39. WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSONALITY “Playful” use of force in sex Verbal abuse Rigid sex roles Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

40. WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSONALITY Battering history Threats of violence Breaking or strikingobjects Using force together/his way

41. EFFECTS ON CHILDREN Domestic violence affects every member of the family, including the children Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear

42. EFFECTS ON CHILDREN Children who witness family violence are affected in ways similar to children who are physically abused Children are at greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home

43. EFFECTS ON CHILDREN Statistics show that over 3 million children witness violence in their home each year "Families under stress produce children under stress. If a spouse is being abused and there are children in the home, the children are affected by the abuse." (Ackerman and Pickering, 1989)

44. EFFECTS ON CHILDREN Children react to their environment in different ways Reactions vary depending on the child's gender and age

45. EFFECTS ON CHILDREN Recent research indicates that children who witness domestic violence show more anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, anger and temperament problems than children who do not witness violence in the home

46. SAFETY PLANNING Safety planning helps develop the tools in advance to confront a potentially dangerous situation

47. SAFETY PLANNING Safety Plans are for domestic abuse survivors of any age who may be abused by or is afraid of her/his spouse/partner, boy/girlfriend, adult child, or other family member

48. SAFETY PLANNING Includes: Safety during an explosive incident Safety when preparing to leave Safety in public and at the workplace What to take with you if you need to leave