2. Foreword
Let’s demystify dating. Granted, that’s easier said than done. We are talking
about many different dating couples here, each with their different temperaments,
personalities, likes and dislikes and different needs.
Some of us are already semi-experts at dating - having several meaningful relationships
in the past and no shortage of friends from either gender. Perhaps we have not met
the right person, or it was not the right timing. Whatever it was, we are now back on
the dating scene and could use some revision on the art of dating. Others have always
been shy and do not know there is a proliferation of books on dating on the shelves,
offering advice and much needed tools.
This booklet is a guide to dating and relationship resources available in the library
and the Internet. While it might not directly tell you what to do, where to go or what
to wear on a date, it points you to where the information is. Chances are, you will
not have time to read over 50 books on dating – thus we have sifted through over a
hundred books, to bring you reviews of over 60 books and articles, from which you
could decide which are the most interesting for you, for your own perusal.
Do we really know what our dates expect of us? Common sense is sometimes not so
common after all. I mean, imagine a gentleman who goes on a movie date and decides
to entertain his date with a running commentary of the movie. Not cool at all. Or a
lady who expects her date to wait for her for at least half an hour every time they have a
date, because, her rationale is, she wants to look good for him. Grooming is important,
but so is time management. Give yourself sufficient time for grooming and still be
punctual.
Rather than see dating & relationship books as lists of dos and don’ts, use them as
mirrors to see your blind spots and improve on areas where you feel there is a need to.
Friends are sometimes too kind to tell you what’s wrong with you, or are too involved to
see them. But if you want to have a better chance with that sporty guy you met sailing
or that nice gal who works in the building next to your office, the next dating book you
pick up may just have the solution.
Thus, SDU and the NLB have collaborated to bring to you this neat little booklet - The
Art of Dating: What men and women should know.
Joycelyn Tay
Librarian, NLB
Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.
-- Voltaire
3. Contents
What Women Want 4
What Men Want 14
What Experts Say 24
Acknowledgements 47
Services Available at NLB 48
What is Fiction Advisory? 48
4. You can call me a unicellular freelance matchmaker if you like. My ex-
boyfriends are all happily married and my current group of single friends
are getting attached to each other like Velcro. Like the case right now: a
good-looking, stud muffin male friend of mine who is a promising young
bank executive likes my girl friend, a charming, demure and modest medical
officer. Let’s call him Kel (short for Kelvonminique). As for the lady under
discussion... let’s think of a romantic name here... how about “Betty”? No,
let’s call her Fay, short for Fayavanilla.
Anyway, we have a typical BGR challenge here, or, to be more positive,
a “potential match”. Kel likes Fay, but Fay doesn’t know that and Fay is
very, very, very shy. So Kel, despite claims that he has a “charm button”
that he can “switch on” to attract swarms of swooning gals - with a name
like Kelvonminique, one must naturally be full of swaggerly bravado, not to
mention hot air - humbly sought my advice on what I think Fay wants in a
man.
Thus began our first discussion on what women want men to know about
dating...
3
5. Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted.
It has been wisely saidto be we cannot really love
Like a lamp, it needs that fed out of the oil of
anybody at whom we never laugh.
another’s heart, or its flame burns low.
-- Agnes Repplier
--Henry Ward Beecher.
What
What
What
Men
Women
Want
Want
The loving are the daring.
--Bayard Taylor.
6. First of all, I told Kel, women love men who can make them laugh. Women
may not necessarily want to marry a full-time comedian, but having
similarities in what tickle them and some wit in conversation is attractive.
“So, what’s considered witty?” Kel asked. I referred him to the book below:
Women’s Wicked Wit:
from jane austen to roseanne barr
Author: [compiled by] Michelle Lovric
Publisher: Chicago, Chicago Review Press, 2001
Call No.: English 305.4 WOM
If you have watched the movie, “Pride and Prejudice”,
“Women’s Wicked Wits” would have charmed you more
on the various satirical remarks that women have on men.
The book is a compendium of anecdotal quotes by the likes
of Jane Austen, Oprah Winfrey, Carrie Fisher and Dorothy
Parker. The book is organized into different categories
such as “Women on Women” and “Women on Men”.
With quotes like, “a man in the house is worth two in the
street”, the book is a delightful read. Risible, delectable and derisive are the words
that describe the book and expect no mercy when women have tongues on their target.
Compiled by Michelle Lovric, author of New York Times bestseller, “Love Letters: An
Anthology of Passion”, one would learn the meaning of relationships with of course, a
literal twist.
What Women Want
7. Next, communication, sincerity, and similar interests are essential too. But
most of all, it is about LOVE. It helps if the gentleman gives time to take
interest in what she likes to read and pays attention to her shoes (if she likes
shoes = 95.4682% of the female population, according to a number I just
made up on the spot). It’s also advisable to find out what are some things
men say or do that women regard as unforgivable.
Some women are intellectually stimulated and some are “high in fashion
quotient”, resulting in different priorities as well.
Same Words, Different Language:
how men and women misunderstand each other at
work and what to do about it
Author: Barbara Annis
Publisher: Piatkus, 2003
Call No.: 306.7 ANN
Since the beginning of time, communication is essential in
any relationship regardless of whether it is in a personal,
social or professional setting. A lack of understanding in
communication is potential for chaos. Communication,
seen on its own, is already a relatively complex issue
given that everyone is different, each possessing his or
her own set of ideas and prejudices. Here, Annis focuses at the common problems in
communication between men and women, their differences in views and interpretations
- same words but of a different language, gender conflicts and some effective ways
of resolving these differences. The author accentuates issues that are often left
“unattended” via real life examples and insights from both sexes. This is a useful text
as it examines how men and women relate with practical advice on how to create a win-
win situation in communication and relationships.
8. The Power of Soul:
living the twelve virtues
Author: Robert Sardello
Publisher: Hampton Roads, 2002
Call No.: 179.9 SAR
People are often caught up with the buzz of everyday living
and the materialistic aspects of life. Sardello attempts
to bring across his ideas of life by bringing forth his
twelve aspects of virtues: devotion, balance, faithfulness,
selflessness, compassion, courtesy, equanimity, patience,
truth, courage, discernment, and love. Broadly speaking,
these virtues touch on the spiritual realm of an individual.
Their presence strengthens the bond in any relationship - they not only enrich the soul
but delight the heart with a richness that cannot be attained with external means.
They fill up the emptiness of one’s being and are a source of alternative happiness.
Although wealth and status are much sought after in today’s society, the author raises
concern of the less tangible but no less important qualities which attract women and
what they might like to see in their partner.
Learn Her Secrets
Author: Nicole Beland
Source: Men’s Health, Emmaus, Dec 2005, Vol.20,
Iss. 10, pg 142-143, Proquest database
A good read for men who want to understand women.
Though short, this article features the secrets of women in
a nutshell. Know what to say so she melts each time you
utter something. Be an expert in giving her compliments.
Exercise caution when you reveal your secrets. Explore what women are like in the
early relationship phase and how to bring her to the next level. Discover how she’ll
consider you a rare find.
What Women Want
9. Hip Lit for Hip Chicks
Author: Rebecca Vnuk
Source: http://www.libraryjournal.com/article/
CA623004.html
Stop being clueless about what she’s reading! This article provides a witty introduction
to the world of “chick lit”, a relatively new genre in the ever-expanding universe of
fiction. There’s a listing of the various sub-genres, eg. Bride Lit, Workplace tell-all,
and also links to other web resources. Your newfound knowledge will not only show her
that you respect her reading choices, but also provide valuable insights to the workings
of the modern female psyche.
You Know He’s A Keeper...
You Know He’s A Loser...
Author: Linda Lee Small & Norine Dworkin
Publisher: New York, Perigee, 2003
Call No.: 306.7 YOU
Lee Small and Dworkin have compiled anecdotes from
women about the men, guys, and boys they are dating and
used to date. Categorized into Keepers and Losers, the
ladies mention what they love about their men and what
are some of the pet peeves and unbelievable things that
their men had done or said to them. Ladies, if you have
that special someone, read this book to cherish him more.
For those who are still looking for that certain someone,
read on just for laughs. Or read it as a guide to stay far, far away from the losers.
You’ve been warned!
10. Why Men Don’t Have A Clue And Women
Always Need More Shoes:
the ultimate guide to the opposite sex
Author: Allan and Barbara Pease
Publisher: New York, Broadway Books, 2004
Call No.: 305.3 PEA
Consider this: “A woman needs to know but one man
well to understand all men, whereas a man may know all
women and not understand one of them” - sounds thought-
provoking? Or are you still as clueless? Complemented
with studies of social changes, sciences and psychology,
research and survey findings, this book examines the unique characteristics innate in
both sexes and dishes out pointers to most frequently asked questions and observations
like the seven things men do that drive women insane, from habits of switching
between TV channels to fussing about going shopping and engaging in detailed
conversations. Find out how to decode women’s secret ways with words in what she
says versus what she really means and wants. Here is a guide to understanding your
partner’s perceptions and thinking, managing communication conflicts, getting along
better and making the most of your relationships.
The Boyfriend Test:
how to evaluate his potential before you
lose your heart
Author: Wendy L. Walsh
Publisher: New York, Three Rivers Press, 2001
Call No.: 646.77 WAL
What do women look for in a man? Take your cue from this
light-hearted and insightful read. Peppered with reflective
questions and scorecards with rating results, this manual
guides you to find the right man, provides dating advice
and cautions the pitfalls as “A love affair is a delicate
What Women Want
balancing act between a person’s needs and wants...” Get engaged in each of the
three sections in “Test yourself” on your personality, priorities and in “designing” your
ideal candidate profile; “Test him” in assessing the various aspects of his behavior;
and conclude with “A couple’s report card” to show the way to maintaining a healthy
relationship with your partner. Find out what you are looking for in your potential Mr.
Right and judge for yourself if the interpretations ring true.
11. Single Picky Girl:
a collection of columns
Author: Wong, Janice
Publisher: Singapore, Horizon Books, 2005
Call No.: SING 306.7095957 WON
Janice Wong, the cover girl of her own book, is the single
28-year-old author and is all proud of it. Through her
collection of published columns in the local dailies, you
get a peep into the dating mentality of today’s Singapore
modern girls. For all you male readers out there, whether
you end up more optimistic or pessimistic after reading
her objective, sensible views about Singapore men and
the local dating scene, I leave it to your better judgement. Her writing is fluid, simple
and the context is contemporary and close to home. And if you are one who does not
compromise for love, you have found yourself a companion in Janice.
Girl Next Door:
everything you ever wanted to know about women
but didn’t dare ask
Author: Nicole Beland
Publisher: London, Rodale Ltd, 2003
Call No.: 306.7 BEL
Beland, a recognized expert for men and a columnist in
Men’s Health magazine, selects universal questions from
her columns, including those private and specific but
pertinent questions.
A no-nonsense approach to all men’s questions about a
woman, from a girl who doesn’t hold back when it comes to
talking about sex and dating but who still wants the same loving, trusting relationship
with a fellow - and eventually marriage and kids. For instance, she answers questions
like “Why do women buy so many shoes?”, “What’s the single most effective thing I
can do to increase my sex appeal?” and many more. Interspersed throughout the book
are related statistics, survey results and discussion - an eye opener!
12. . How to Meet Men as Smart as You
Author: Sandee Brawarsky
Publisher: New York, Simon & Schuster, c1994
Call No.: 646.77 BRA
Single and having a problem meeting men with similar
interests? Try this survival guide that suggests you can
meet like-minded men at places such as churches,
sporting events, theatres etc, where people gather for an
obvious cause. Pick up tips on striking up intelligent
conversations when you find the right man. Maximise your
chances in finding men who match your interests, and are
as smart and attractive to boot. You need never spend your
weekends alone again!
What Women Want From Men, Dating and
Relationships
Author: Toni Coleman
Source: http://dating.about.com/od/justfortheguys/a/
WomenWant.htm
Written by president of Consum-mate Relationship Coaching, the 5-page article
contains the summary of a group discussion with ladies in their 20s and 30s on what
women want from men. For instance, on the attributes of men who are attractive,
sense of humour and intelligence, critical components in friendship and compatibility,
are top of the list. Some attributes, like being positive, mature and loving are more
important to women in their 30s. Among the 20s, adjectives like clean cut, polished,
very confident and with a certain style of dress - were used to describe Mr. Right,
placing a greater emphasis on looks and a need for excitement.
All wanted their man to be assertive, ambitious, able to earn a good living, and have
good sexual (and overall) chemistry with the partner. All agreed that they would not
choose a partner who was lacking in ambition and/or who was egotistical and (most
What Women Want
likely) unable to be the other half of a giving and supportive union.
Log on for quick tips on “How to get the girl” and “The best pickup line”!
13. Top 10 Traits Of a Great Boyfriend
Author: Eric Heston
Source: http://cgi.askmen.com/emails/email_channels.
php
What better way to figure out what women want for dating than to find out what
makes a great boyfriend? Having reviewed the article and discussed it with a group of
girlfriends, we concur with the findings!
Play It Again, Sam (Movie review)
Director: Herbert Ross
Starring: Woody Allen and Diane Keaton
Year: 1972
Fans of Arthouse films will enjoy this romantic comedy,
written by Woody Allen in 1969, originally for Broadway.
Woody Allen plays Allan Felix, a film critic whose wife
decides to leave him because she has had enough of
watching movies every time they are together - she’s an
extrovert while he’s an introvert, and a neurotic one at that
who needs doses of aspirins and visits his psychotherapist.
Married couple Dick and Linda try to matchmake Allan with a ghostly Humphrey Bogart
who comes in every now and then, teaching Allan a thing or two about women.
Expect intelligent and witty dialogue from the movie. And perhaps the guys could get a
few do-not-ever-try-this-on-a-date tips from Allan.
Note: Also available in book
Play It Again, Sam
Woody Allen
812.54 ALL
14. Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik
This is one of the miracles of love: It gives…a power of seeing through its
own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted.
-- C S Lewis
What Women Want
15. Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted.
Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of
another’s heart, or its flame burns low.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
What
Men
Want
The loving are the daring.
-- Bayard Taylor
14
16. We started with many group dates - at least three times a week - to ensure
that Kel and Fay are spending most of their evenings together, leaving little
room for competitors to make advances. Kel had a lot of encouragement
from me. I confess to a secret agenda for the encouragements - they need
to get together soon so that all their special “group date” friends can get
on with their lives. After that, I’ll stick around to reinforce the need to get
married and procreate soon so that I can koo-chee (colloquial English for
“tickle”) their baby.
After a few weeks, I was dispatched by Kel to find out if “feelings” are
mutual. Lovely. Fay noticed they were spending a lot of time together
lately and suspected he might be showing exceptional interest. Brilliant
deduction! But she is very new to the dating scene and she wants him to
be sure. (Important notice to men who want to know what the lady wants:
She wants him to be sure.)
Why Men Won’t Commit:
how to get what you (both) want without playing
games
Author: George Weinberg, Ph.D.
Publisher: Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2003
Call No.: Eng 306.7 WEI
You may be attractive, capable, articulate and ready to
love. Your instinct is saying that this man is great for you
only to realize later on that he is not going to take another
step forward. Sounds familiar? This book provides almost
a diagnostic approach to the scenario painted above. Far
from being a book that punches theories from page to
page, this 213-paged book is interspersed with real life experiences and anecdotes that
will make you look up and say “that sounds familiar to me”.
What Men Want
15
17. Fay didn’t ask me what men want. Maybe she already knew. Or maybe
she knows that I don’t know. She embodies what men like Kel and a few
million others want. By the way, she’s a mad fan of Jane Austen. Maybe
singles like myself can get some help from Austen’s shrewd observation of
human nature and killer wit.
Pride and Prejudice
Author: Austen, Jane
Publisher: Penguin, London, 1996
Call No.: English AUS
Many of Jane Austen’s books carry some practical advice
on relationships, but Pride and Prejudice more so because
we have here the Bennet family with five daughters.
Consider chapter one, verse one of the book:
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man
in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.”
The question is, what does this single man want from the woman he dates?
From Jane, we know that it is universally true that men prefer women who are
good-lookers, well-groomed, demure and well-bred. From Elizabeth, we learn that
intelligence, practical wisdom and self-confidence are attractive to powerful men and
from Lydia, we can conclude that shameless flirting and behaving in a disgraceful way
can still get you the man, but usually the not-so-fresh eggs.
Some marry for money, others for status, yet others for comfort. Nevertheless, the best
reason to marry is still for love. This is true in the past and still stands true today.
Fay’s new to the dating scene with absolutely no brothers at home. (I was
from a co-ed and have five brothers - although I still don’t understand the
Martians, I had a brief sojourn on the planet.) She is absolutely content
being gorgeously single. So what one has to do is to convince her that 1+1 is
not = “trouble”, but 1+1 = twice the FUN!
16
18. What There is to Love about a Man
Author: Snyder Rachel
Publisher: Naperville, Ill.,Sourcebooks, 1999
Call No.: 305.31 SNY
A wonderful sizzling book that scrutinizes a man from head
to toe, inside-out literally. Reading it is the next best way
to understand a man without being one. The intriguing,
mysterious man is “dissected” into 195 parts under the
operation table. Even the men stand to benefit from this simple, uncluttered collection
of masculine celebration. Truly a book about re-discovery of the attributes of men.
Men Like Women Who Like Themselves
Author: Steven Carter & Julia Sokol
Publisher: New York, Delacorte Press, 1996
Call No.: Eng 158.2 CAR
Relationship experts, Carter and Sokol, dish the real and
non-romantic truths of how women should be, and what
men like in women. Readers will be surprised to know that
a woman just needs to get to know herself well, in order to
get men to like her. Smart women already know this and
now it’s time to pass that wisdom and knowledge to other
women so that they can take on the dating scene well prepared.
Categorised into two stages, “Getting to Know You” and “Getting Closer”, this book
provides numerous statements a smart woman knows and knows not to do at each
stage. An anecdote accompanies each statement, thus reinforcing it. The smartest
woman knows...to read this book.
What Men Want
17
19. A Modern Girl’s Guide To Dynamic
Dating
Author: Sarah Ivens
Publisher: London, Piatkus, 2003
Call No.: Eng 306.73 IVE
Get dating advice from the modern dating guru, Sarah
Ivens. Every dating tip, disaster, success, you name it;
Ivens has them all down in this dating bible. She talks
about dating not in terms of romantic ideas or naïve
idealism but with realistic mathematics. Her sincere
take on dating and relationships makes this book a
darn good read. What to do? How to do? Where to do?
It seems that Ivens has seen dating through the eyes of men and now she’s telling
the girls how to take on the men and the dating scene. An essential read for the
modern girls out there!
Why Men Marry Some Women
and Not Others:
the fascinating research to land you the man of
your dreams
Author: John T. Molloy
Publisher: New York, Warner Books, c2003
Call No.: 646.77 MOL
The author, a sought-after speaker and image
consultant, agreed to try to help his research staff
figure out her relationship problem: why does a man,
after dating a woman for two to three years, marry another woman within a year or
two of breaking up with the first woman?
Starting with interviews of couples coming out of marriage license bureaus, the
research was expanded and resulted in this book of ‘statistical’ truths.
Includes an excellent chapter on ‘Marrying After Forty’ which offers simple gems of
wisdom for the older singles who wish to marry. Are all the good ones taken? Find
out how to develop forty-plus relationships.
A research-based book written in a clear and entertaining style.
18
20. Looking for Mr. Right
Author: Bradley Trevor Greive
Publisher: Kansas City, Andrews McMeel, c2001
Call No.: 818.5402 GRE
(Source: http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com)
Have you been tearing your hair out looking for
Mr Right, as the cover photograph suggests?
Then pick up this book and enjoy its witty and
superbly illustrated observations and advice.
Does anyone know what men are really like? What is a woman to do today to find the
man who will be right for her?
Too busy or too tired to read? No worries - every one of the retro photographs that
accompanies the text will provide endless entertainment by itself!
What Could He Be Thinking?
Author: Michael Gurian
Publisher: London, Element, 2004
Call No.: 305.31 GUR
We all know that men and women’s brains are wired
differently. Ladies, get an edge up on understanding the
romantic behaviour of men by learning how to interpret the
signals men send out about their needs and expectations;
the link between romance and sex; and how practising
intimate separateness can achieve good results. Enjoy an
A-star partnership with your man!
What Men Want
19
21. Closing the Deal :
two married guys take you from single miss to
wedded bliss
Author: Richard Kirshenbaum & Daniel Rosenberg
Publisher: New York, W. Morrow, 2005
Call No.: English 646.77 KIR
Time is ticking away and you are chewing your fingernails
off waiting for him to pop the question. “What if he
doesn’t?” you ask yourself.
Here’s where this book comes in handy. From the
viewpoints of two men who had gone on bended knees
and the feedback they received from average Joes (not to
mention being “consultants” to female friends), they hope
to allay females’ fears by showing them the inside of men’s minds.
Kirshenbaum & Rosenberg emphasize the need for a female to understand what a man
thinks about the relationship, marriage and commitment so that she can formulate a
Marriage Marketing Plan. Yes! Your eyes are not playing tricks on you. The authors
liken getting your man to pop the question to a marketing plan. Basically, you need
to understand your target audience (a.k.a. your man), know the needs and wants, and
market your strategic advantage (which are your assets) to your audience.
Written in a witty manner, this book helps you to decide if he is THE ONE and guides
you in developing the Marriage Marketing Plan so that you can close the deal (in other
words, have an everlasting and fulfilling marriage).
Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say:
destroying myths, creating love
Author: Warren Farrell.
Publisher: New York, Jeremy Tarcher, 2000, c1999
Call No.: 306.7 FAR
Are men the much misunderstood gender? Farrell thinks
so and he wants the world to agree with him. This book
addresses male-hating, myths and stereotypes regarding
male power based on analysis of how men are being
portrayed in the media. Author of three other bestsellers,
Farrell is a man well-recognized for his evenhandedness
when dealing with issues of both genders. He presents a
20
22. new perspective of viewing the male/female roles and suggests that miscommunication
ruins relationships. For instance, he offers a list of more than 50 kinds of “male
housework” that usually go unappreciated to counter-balance the notion that
responsibility for housework is a woman’s domain. So avoid seeing men in a misplaced
perspective and start loving him from this minute.
While I Am Not Afraid:
secrets of a man’s heart
Author: Peter Clothier
Publisher: Santa Fe, InWord Press, c1998
Call No.: 305.32 CLO
Clothier - a man in crisis - writes about his unexpressed
emotions, delayed dreams and brutal self-examination, a
rare glimpse into the heart of a man filled with love and
hope, pain and finally, release. All these written to help
other men face and share their deepest selves with each
other and with women. It also talks about men who equate
strength with steely inflexibility - the myth of masculine strength and imperviousness to
feelings.
Clothier welcomes woman readers to this book as he suspects that women are curious
about men’s feelings, and many are trying to find their way into the hearts and souls of
their men - be it their husbands, lovers, partners or sons.
The Unfair Sex - the expose of the human
male for women of all ages
Author: Nina Farewell
Publisher: Cambridge, Icon, 2004
Call No.: 306.70207 FAR
What Men Want
Originally written in the 1950s, this timeless guide to the
battle of the sexes is still as applicable in the context of
today’s dating circles. Not only does it expose the store of
techniques, devices and ploys a man uses to obtain what
he wants from unsuspecting ladies, it actually provides
21
23. the countermeasures that women can take to triumph over the men! This bold and
witty volume is essential reading for women who want to learn how to get all they want,
without giving men the one thing that they want - her virtue.
What Men Want:
three professional single men reveal to women what
it takes to make a man yours
Author: Bradley Gerstman, Christopher Pizzo and
Richard M. Seldes
Publisher: New York, Cliff Street Books, 2000, c1998
Call No.: 305.389652 GER
The authors - a lawyer, a doctor, and an accountant, keep
referring to themselves as “professionals” ad nauseum
throughout the book that you wonder whether they are
more into self-glorification or trying to dish out some good
advice on the dating and romance circuit. What comes off,
from a cursory reading of the book, is that they are given to offering pithy lines such
as wanting women who: are attentive to them, are smart but not brainy, are given to
wearing sexy underwear, offer but don’t insist on sharing the cost of a date, and won’t
have sex until the fifth date - sigh! Ladies out there, if you want to know the lower end
of the full spectrum of the requisites male species look for in the fairer sex, then read
on (if only to avoid such blokes!)
Hear It for The Boys
Author: Elise Soukup
Source: Newsweek, New York, Feb 16, 2004, Vol. 143,
Iss. 7, p. 10, Proquest database
Like chick flicks and pink nail polish, Valentine’s Day is
for girls. And yet men get dragged into it each year. On
average, men spend $112 per gift on Valentine’s - 25%
more than women.
22
24. So do men dread it while women adore it? Do you know that men are in fact more
‘romantic’ than you might think - 54% of men thought it unforgivable to forget this day
compared to 36% of women.
Check out more interesting survey bits and bytes published in this article.
Top 10 Traits Of A Great Girlfriend
Author: Jonathan Carlson
Source: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten_
60/74b_dating_list.html
Although the top ten traits are summarised here, check out
the article on the website for full details. Find out the reasons the man gives for why
these traits are important to him, and how they manifest in an ideal girlfriend. Written
with sensitivity, yet with a slightly old-fashioned charm, the argument in this article is
easy to agree with. Here goes the top ten:
She makes you want to be a better man, loves you, gets along with friends and family,
does not nag, lets you be a man, respects you, is beautiful, sexual, intelligent and
independent.
What Men Want
23
25. We can only learn to love by loving.
-- Iris Murdoch
What
Experts
Say
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.
-- William Shakespeare
Love is friendship set to music.
-- E. Joseph Crossmann
24
26. We should expect the experts to say different things, occasionally even
contradicting each other. But after reading through these reviews, common
themes emerge..
Firstly, there is the theme of self-awareness and self-love (but not to the
extent of narcissism or self-centredness). Discard or manage your
emotional baggage. When you are ready to date, break out of your social
comfort zone but be wary of dating disasters – learn to avoid certain types
of dates and situations.
Next, if you are not one for traditional dating, try online dating. It opens
you up to a whole new world out there of mostly….men! Pick up some “date
lines” (as opposed to ‘pick-up’ lines) and start on the right foot by practising
effective communication techniques. Remember, to get love, be love.
When you are a couple, continue to keep the relationship alive. Work at it
because a relationship is dynamic - filled with possibilities and potential.
Add sizzle to your relationship, keep the flame burning!
Sometimes break-ups happen. Remember that a break-up does not mean
failure – it merely means that you have successfully found out, via the very
useful process of dating, who is not suitable for you at this point of your life.
Finally, when you are ready to get hitched, be ready. Work through the
issues that will inevitably come up in your life together.
The following reviews take you through what the experts say about the five
aspects of dating:
Step 1: Where to find dates (avenues and etiquettes)
Step 2: How to flirt (what to say on dates)
Step 3: How to fall in love and how to kiss (physical and metaphysical
aspects)
Step 4: How to stay in love OR stay positive after a break-up
What Experts Say
(go back to Step 1)
Step 5: How to say goodbye to dating and hello to together forever…
(commitment & marriage)
25
27. What happened to Kel and Fay? They are still on the brink of discovering
each other, you may say. Fay’s taken the initiative of calling Kel up once
in a while, so that he doesn’t have to do all the work all the time. They
haven’t started one-to-one dating yet, so like you and I, they’ll do well
to keep this neat little booklet...
Act One: The Setting or Where to Find a Date
Let’s start with a book that has been picked by both a female AND and a
male librarian…
Dating Boot Camp:
conquering the dating obstacle course
Author: Lisa Altalida
Publisher: Indianapolis, IN, Alpha, 2004
Call No.: 646.77 ALT
Lisa breaks down the reasons why women are unsuccessful
in the dating scene and explains how women should forget
whatever they know and be transformed into empowered
women who have control over their lives by following the
rules of Dating Boot Camp.
Are you insecure when it comes to dating because of past failures? Put behind your
past failures and get rid of the emotional baggage. Dating boot camp is a helpful guide
to build lasting relationships or for starting one.
Of course, the dating scene isn’t exactly a real war zone but it doesn’t hurt for women
to be fully equipped to handle a few nasty knocks and emerge unscathed or better
still with more firepower to spare. So enrol yourself in this dating boot camp if you
want to have the ultimate dating advantage. Only then can you declare to be an equal
and speak the same lingo to your male counterparts who had undergone their basic
military training. Presented in a delightfully easy to read way (remember “The Teenage
26
28. Textbook?”), Dating Boot Camp is your “Lonely Planet Guide” to help you navigate out
of those dating dilemmas and build new skills. If your relationships have always ended
up nowhere, it’s time to examine if you have been doing yourself a disservice: self
sabotage. And if you are serious that your relationship would lead to a marriage, check
out each other’s commitment-o-meter at the onset.
Always Talk to Strangers:
3 simple steps to finding the love of your life
Author: David Wygant with Bryan Swerling
Publisher: New York, Perigee, 2005
Call No.: 646.77 WYG
Wygant & Swerling believe that by getting a good
grounding through mental and physical self-awareness,
you are ready to begin your search for someone to share
your life with. This book guides you from the start to the
end - from approaching someone you fancy, to starting a
conversation and beyond. Some tips: always be charming
and approachable; always talk to strangers; and know your
dating dos and don’ts.
The Rules for Online Dating :
capturing the heart of mr right in cyberspace
Author: Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
Publisher: New York, Pocket Books, c2002
Call No.: 646.77 FEI
Say goodbye to traditional dating and meet men on the
Internet. Get familiar with the rules of online dating
– writing effective ads, answering emails, filtering the ‘good
What Experts Say
guys from the bad’, setting boundaries, setting first dates,
evaluating quality of the online relationship etc. Become
an expert in the use of electronic communication and be on your way to successful
internet dating to develop a healthy relationship based on a solid foundation of mutual
attraction, respect and trust.
27
29. It’s Just Lunch! Guide to Dating in Singapore
Author: Anisa Hassan & the dating experts at It’s Just Lunch
Publisher: Wellington, Fla., 10 Fingers Press, c2005
Call No.: SING 646.77095957 ANI
Compiled by the dating experts at It’s Just Lunch (a local
dating service targeted at busy, working professionals), this slim
guidebook demystifies the dating process, provides dating tips
for both men and women, and also contains a current listing of
various date-related venues in Singapore, e.g. Five Best Places
to Boost Your Ego. The entire cycle of dating is covered, from
methods and places to increase your dating possibilities, to
flirting and the big day itself, and finally (hopefully!) consecutive
dates and coupledom. So if you’re looking for a simple and straightforward boost to
your dating prowess, check out this guide.
Dating Disasters:
101 bad ideas
Author: Warwick, Anna
Publisher: Frenchs Forest, N.S.W., London, New
Holland, 2004
Call No.: 306.73 WAR
This is a hysterical compilation of true bad-date stories.
What better way to come to terms with your own tragic
dating experiences than laughing at those of fellow
‘daters’? Once you’re through with this book, you’re
guaranteed to feel much better, realizing that you are not alone in the intriguing yet oft-
frustrating world of dating…
28
30. Dating Disasters and How to Avoid Them
Author: Joy Browne
Pub: Carlsbad, Calif., Hay House, c2005
Call No.: 646.77 BRO
This book covers both dating disastrous guys and disasters
that may occur during the date/dating process. Dr Browne,
a radio psychologist, identifies the types of guys one
shouldn’t even consider dating (like The Separated-but-
Still-Married Guy, The Manic-Depressive or The Mama’s
Boy) and how to spot them. Following that, Dr Brown moves on to describe potential
date-killers, eg. Personal hygiene (lack of), Uncomfortable clothing etc. Finally, she
ends with her “Disastrous Dating Commandments”, in which she defines several
dangerous date attitudes that a woman could adopt, like to Believe in Soul Mates and
Love at First Sight or to Assume That Sex Means Anything. Though seemingly written
more for women, Dating Disasters is definitely applicable to men, as a manual for self-
improvement!
Love Busters
Author: Rhea Seymour.
Chatelaine (English edition), Toronto, Nov 2005,
Vol.78, Iss. 11, pg 111, Proquest database
Dating makeovers are what women need when they fail
in their dating relationships. Learn from the common
mistakes women make. Get advice on how to interact with
men to save yourself from disappointments. The expert
help here will guide you on how to open up to a relationship and reach a stage where
you feel comfortable with your date.
What Experts Say
29
31. Act Two: What to Say and How to Say It On a Date
I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved.
-- George Elliot
Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it has too beautiful a
meaning to say it too late.
-- Kurt Cornish
The Street Guide to Flirting
Author: Andrew Bryant & Michelle Lia Lewis
Publisher: Crows Nest, N.S.W., Allen & Unwin, 2003
Call No.: 306.7 BRY
You must have noticed, at some time or another, a
particular individual who seems to attract the attention of
everyone around him or her. What’s even more annoying is
that these attractive individuals may not necessarily be the
best-looking specimens around! So what’s their secret?
In this interactive and entertaining ‘instructional piece’,
two experts reveal their secrets and tips garnered from a
lifetime of flirting experiences to help you become a remarkable being skilled in the
fine art of flirtation.
Date Lines
Author: Nina Atwood
Publisher: New York, Henry Holt, 1998
Call No.: 646.77 ATW
Meet your Mr. Right and keep the relationship going great
with the right communication skills. In this book, Atwood
focuses on the process of dating, selecting Mr. Right
and getting into a healthy relationship through the right
communication channels. Explore how you can transform
encounters into lasting relationships with the way you
relate to men.
30
32. Come-ons, Comebacks, and Kiss-offs:
date lines every woman needs to survive her search
for the holy male
Author: Jeanne Martinet
Publisher: New York, St. Martin’s Griffin, 1997
Call No.: 646.77 MAR
Are you looking for the right lines to say while on a date?
Martinet has a comprehensive list of useful date lines to
suit a variety of events. Pick up the techniques and be an
expert in overcoming awkward silences. Recognize and
handle rejections. When your relationship goes exclusive,
learn what to say.
Act Three: How to Fall in Love and How to Kiss OR do you really
need help here?
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you
have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of
love.
-- Henry Drummond
Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
-- Mark Twain
Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons:
how to find your soul mate
Author: Warren, Neil Clark
What Experts Say
Publisher: New York, Center Street, 2005
Call No.: 646.77 WAR
A must-read for all singles. A crucial list of twenty-nine
dimensions that predict relationship success are discussed
in this book. Dr Warren has compiled a list of ‘must
haves’ and ‘can’t stands’ to pick from. He emphasizes 31
33. the importance of establishing a personalised list and finding that somebody who
harmonizes with you in those areas. By doing so, you will not only find your soul mate
but also save yourself from future conflicts. Making it work is not just about having
matching traits but how you can work together and stay compatible. This will facilitate
a long-lasting relationship with your partner.
Love at First Sight:
the stories and science behind instant attraction
Author: Earl Naumann
Publisher: Naperville, Ill., Casablanca Press, c2001
Call No.: 306.7 NAU
Naumann surveyed nearly 1500 people for this primary
research on the little-studied phenomenon of love at first
sight. While the general consensus among experts is that
‘lust’ at first sight is more likely the culprit, this book
did unearth some startling findings. The result is that
the differences between men and women who believe in
love at first sight and had experienced it are statistically
significant. Without doubt, love at first sight is a far more common experience than
many experts would have us believe.
Fearless Loving
Author: Rhonda Britten
Publisher: London, Hodder Headline, 2003
Call No.: Eng 306.7 BRI
Britten’s eight simple truths talk about how fear can
prevent you from being in love and getting the love that
you want. Anyone who is in love, out of love, or even not
in love can relate to this book as Britten addresses the
issue of fear that might prevent a couple from getting the
love they yearn for out of the relationship. The concept
that she introduces is simple, “to get love, be love”. Discover ways to make clearer
decisions and necessary actions after reading each truth. They will definitely change
the way you date, mate and relate.
32
34. The Art Of Kissing
Author: William Cane
Publisher: New York, St. Martin’s Griffin, 2005
Call No.: English 394 CAN [CUS]
Mama Mia! Tantalizing, sensual, delicious lip-locking
techniques that will send your blood to boiling point.
Sharing your first kiss? Spicing up your long-term
relationship? Feeling adventurous? Let Cane take you
through 28 different ways of kissing, with detailed step-
by-step instructions on “How To” and kissing tips. With
kissing names like “Lip-O-Suction”, Role-playing kiss, Electric kiss and Upside down
kiss, who can resist the temptation to pick up this book...?
However, kissing is much more than an act of passion. It is also an expression of love
and affection. Romance your partner with heart-stopping tender kisses like the Eskimo
kiss, Neck kiss and Triangle kiss.
The Yoga of Love: 11 principles for
bringing love into your relationship
Author: Vikas Malkani
Publisher: Singapore, Times Editions-Marshall
Cavendish, c2005
Call No.: 306.7 MAL
“We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence
and its only end,” so writes the author. If there is no continuous deepening of
knowledge of the self and of others in a relationship, then it ceases to be a fruitful
relationship and merely becomes a comfortable sleep. All growth and transformation
begins with the awareness that a relationship is not simply to make one comfortable
but rather to make one grow. A good relationship is very much about the potential that
What Experts Say
exists within it in every moment. A thought-provoking read.
33
35. The Secrets of Sexual Body Language
Author: Martin Lloyd-Elliott
Publisher: London, Hamlyn, 2005
Call No.: 153.69 LLO
Not sure what sexy signals you’re sending out or
subconsciously receiving from another person? Well, this
exciting book will show you how to read these incoming
signals from others and ascertain what outgoing signs
you’re simultaneously emanating! Packed with practical
tips and intriguing what-to-dos, The Secrets of Sexual
Body Language will provide advice on how to improve
communication, enhance your most desirable physical assets, and ultimately,
understand the differences between men and women when it comes to sex.
Mars and Venus on a Date:
5 steps to success in love and romance
Author: Gray, John
Publisher: London, Vermilion, 1997
Call No.: 646.77 GRA
Here is a perfect dating guide for singles and the key to
make dating an enjoyable experience. Explore the truth
about different styles of dating that men and women
take on and interpret your date better. Become skilled
at responding in ways that will not be misunderstood.
Get introduced to the five stages of dating and these
new approaches to dating will smoothen your dating
experiences.
34
36. Act Four: How to Stay In Love OR be In Between Partners
In Style
Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the
same direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in
spite of them and you have found a lover for life.
-- Leo Buscaglia
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
-- St. Augustine
The Play Solution:
how to put the fun and excitement back into your
relationship
Author: Jeanette C Lauer
Publisher: Chicago, Contemporary Books, c2003
Call No.: 305.3 LAU
We have heard the adage “If it hurts, it ain’t love.” But if
one has to keep working at a relationship to the point that
it becomes nothing but work, it loses its essence. To get
back into the love mode and build a lasting and fulfilling
relationship demands a measure of play. This book
offers many creative, engaging ideas and exercises to add
sizzle to one’s relationship. Simply put, it costs very little effort to stimulate play in a
relationship when opportunities for play abound. Keep this in mind: the couple that
plays together, stays together longer.
What Experts Say
35
37. Truly Mars & Venus:
the illustrated essential men are from mars, women
are from venus
Author: Gray, John
Publisher: New York, N.Y., HarperCollins Publishers,
c2003
Call No.: 306.7 GRA
If you have read the first edition of “Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus”, this book would delight you
further. As the title suggests, this book details the
inherent differences between men and women and guides the reader in conscientiously
working through these to make a relationship successful. Written in common parlance,
it is filled with comics, tableaus, and literally, colour pages that would entice you to
finish the book in a sitting.
Lovers’ Wit
Author: [compiled by] Des MacHale
Publisher: London, Prion, 2005
Call No.: 306.7 LOV
Tired of the usual ramblings of love and soupy stories?
This book would definitely engage you with original quotes
and classic one-liners from a rich variety of humorists,
writers, actors, politicians and musicians. It allows one
to reflect on the meaning of love through its amusing
witticisms. The book includes a handy and comprehensive
index page of authors for readers to scour for their
favourite personalities and opinions.
36
38. Why Men Can Only Do One Thing at a
Time…and Women Never Stop Talking
Author: Allan & Barbara Pease
Publisher: Buderim, Qld.. Pease International, 2003
Call No.: English 305.3 PEA
From the internationally renowned relationship experts
Allan and Barbara Pease, comes a book that touches on
matters about men that boggle females’ minds and vice
versa.
The authors hope to create couples’ awareness of the differences between men and
women and the causes to get on to a smoother journey in love.
Love’s Energy:
how to stay in love
Author: John Hamwee
Publisher: London, Frances Lincoln, 2001
Call No.: 306.7 HAM
What exactly is the “chemistry” evident in couples
who are in love? How is this interaction created and
sustained? According to Love’s Energy, each person has
an interconnected system of energy streams that flows
through the body, and this energy is the force behind how
a person creates, enlivens or destroys relationships. Therefore, this energy can be
effectively harnessed to deepen the love between couples, as well as cope with existing
conflicts or future separations.
What Experts Say
37
39. 50 Ways to Find True Love
Author: Chuck Spezzano
Publisher: London, Hodder and Stoughton, 2001
Call No.: 306.7 SPE
What is true love? Finding true love and learning the
lessons required to nurture and foster this love can bring
fulfillment, leading to successful relationships and a
successful life.
Through the exercises at the end of each chapter learn to
recognise and understand your own motivations to discover
what you really want from a partner. Learn also about
love, intimacy, forgiveness and letting go in order to sustain and develop a lasting
relationship.
Readers will find this book simple and inspiring to read and it has definite appeal to
those beyond the” starry–eyed” phase.
I Love You but Why are We so Different
Author: Tim Lahaye
Publisher: Singapore, Campus Crusade Asia, c2002
Call No.: 248.844 LAH
A firm believer that opposites attract, Lahaye reveals that
in all his years in counseling, he has never seen two people
of the same temperament get married. He lets on that
people who think they are married to a mate of the same
temperament, either do not understand the temperaments,
have made an improper diagnosis or have forgotten that all
of us have at least two temperaments. Read this book to
understand the 4 temperaments and learn what it takes to build a strong marriage of
love and understanding that will last a lifetime.
38
40. The Between Boyfriends Book
Author: Cindy Chupack
Publisher: London, Orion Media, 2003
Call No.: 306.73 CHU
This is one appealing book written by award-winning writer
for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack, who at the time of
writing, was in her mid-thirties, a successful, independent
yet available lady who has a healthy mix of single and
married friends. While the honesty with which she admits
she wants to get married and have children one day, and
recounts her dating disasters, is touching, one does not get the sense that she’s willing
to settle for anything less than love. Or that she is desperate.
The book itself is scintillatingly clothed in a red velvety cover, resulting in
“touchability” - you would want to caress it lovingly. And the title “The Between
Boyfriends Book” is embossed discreetly in golden, so that men will know you’re
available when you read it in public, as suggested by the back cover.
Most importantly, the title is empowering. Having no boyfriend (or girlfriend for the
matter) is a fact. But it’s up to you to believe whether you are “Ms. Lonely” or the
equally true but more exuberant “I’m between boyfriends”.
“It doesn’t last forever. It only seems like forever.” – Cindy Chupack
The Girl’s Guide to Surviving a Break-up
Author: Delphine Hirsh
Publisher: Australia, Griffin Press, 2003
Call No.: 306.7 HIR
When is a break-up, a break-up? Hirsh starts with a quiz
for the reader to check if they had just experienced a
break-up. For those who answered yes to all the questions,
What Experts Say
Hirsh brings them on a step-by-step journey to getting over
him (the loser!) and gaining your self-worth (it’s his loss!).
The book is segmented into stages and tells readers how to
deal with each stage. This is the book to read to 1) really
find out how to cope with a break-up or 2) cheer oneself up. A hilarious and honest
look at break-ups and how women should deal with it.
39
41. Can Love Last?
the fate of romance over time
Author: Stephen A. Mitchell
Publisher: New York, W.W. Norton, c2002
Call No.: 306.7 MIT
For those inclined towards a more philosophical treatment
of romance, this will be right up your alley. With more
than thirty years of clinical experience under his belt,
coupled with his immense knowledge of popular culture,
Mitchell attempts to challenge the conventional belief
that ‘Love is fragile and volatile’ by advising us to be more
aware of our subconscious self-destructive methods.
This Is How Love Works:
9 essential secrets you need to know
Author: Steven Carter
Publisher: New York, M. Evans and Co., c2001
Call No.: 306.7 CAR
Awareness is key, and this book is all about that.
The tools needed to develop a strong, healthy, happy and
buoyant relationship can be found in this remarkable piece
of work. Contrary to what you might anticipate about the
‘9 Essential Secrets’, they are in fact simple, yet effective
ways towards creating a lasting and loving partnership.
Read it and you will realize that you’re already putting some of these tools to work in
your daily life…the only thing is, you might not fully comprehend WHY you are doing it.
Find your answers here.
40
42. The DNA of Relationships
Author: Gary Smalley ... [et al.]
Publisher: Wheaton, Ill., Tyndale House Publishers,
c2004
Call No.: 248.4 DNA
Utilizing scientific methods in understanding the elusive
concept of love, Smalley identifies what hinders couples
from dealing with conflicts effectively – a repetitive pattern
of unproductive communication. As a result of this ‘bad
habit’ in communication styles, couples are continuously
disappointed and discontented with each other. To
improve such a self-defeating process, the solution is to consciously communicate with
more love and commitment to understanding each other truly.
Opening to Love 365 Days a Year
Author: Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski
Publisher: Deerfield Beach, Fla, Health
Communications, Inc., c2000
Call No.: 306.7 SHE
Take a quiet moment each day to deliberate over one
inspirational passage in this book, which brings you
affirmation, encouragement and insightful discovery about
yourself. Learn to love yourself to love others.
What Experts Say
41
43. Another Chance for Love:
finding a partner later in life
Author: Sol Gordon, Ph.D., and Elaine Fantle Shimberg
Publisher: Avon, Massechusetts, Adams Media, c2004
Call No.: 646.77 GOR
This captivating down-to-earth book shows the way to
finding love over forty.
Building a lasting relationship begins with knowing yourself
and enjoying each other’s company as friends. Dr Gordon,
a relationship expert, and Ms Shimberg, a writer with ten
grandchildren, explain why it is important to put friendship
first, and learn to know when it is special.
The authors offer advice on evaluating a promising relationship and making choices in
handling these issues, understanding the masculine mystique, and more.
The 100 Simple Secrets of Great
Relationships
Author: Niven, David (Ph.D)
Publisher: [New York], HarperSanFrancisco, c2003
Call No.: 302 NIV
Written by a psychologist and social scientist, this book
is based on research conclusions of scientists studying
relationships, dating habits and marriages of people.
Highlights of the more interesting themes are: “The past is
not the future”, “It’s the little things that matter most” and “You are never too old to
find love.” The author concludes each theme with the results of the study.
Readers will find the reference to other works on relationship at the end of the book,
useful for looking up further resources.
42
44. Act Five: Finale of Dating Days OR Preparing to Be Hitched
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the
same person.
-- Mignon McLaughlin
Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
-- Robert Browning
1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get
Married
Author: Monica Mendez Leahy
Publisher: New York, McGraw-Hill, c2004
Call No.: 646.77 LEA
What are the ingredients of a successful marriage? Are
you ‘good’ for each other?
According to relationship consultant Leahy, there are
specific thought processes or behaviours that may signal a
‘red flag’ before you get married. Using various exercises,
find out what you and your partner feel about subjects such as money management,
in-laws, children, etc. Understand, communicate and discuss your answers with each
other as you plan your life together.
Tackling 1001 questions may seem daunting, so zoom in on the relevant topics and
learn more about yourself and your partner. Worth a read for young couples.
What Experts Say
43
45. I Love You Unconditionally…on ONE
condition – Everyday Choices for an
Extraordinary Marriage
Author: Joey O’Connor
Publisher: Grand Rapids, MI, Fleming H. Revell, 2004
Call No.: 248.844 OCO
Marriage is supposed to be an institution of loyalty, fidelity,
and most of all – unconditional love. Unfortunately, more
often than not, unrealistic expectations and stringent
conditions placed upon spouses cause the relationship
to deteriorate into a battle of sarcasm, criticism and
condemnation. Through hilarious anecdotes and valuable
insights, O’Connor shows us the mundane and messy, yet concomitantly marvelous
gems of married life.
Good SpouseKeeping
Author: Dave Meurer
Publisher: Colorado Springs, Colo. Life Journey,
c2004
Call No.: 248.8440207 MEU
If you’re looking for a uproarious his-and-hers guide to
what marriage and daily couplehood is about, this is
it…all 196 pages of it! Brimming with humour without
lacking in depth, Meurer – a popular speaker at marriage
seminars in the United States – uses the different chapters
in his book as a conduit to explore serious and thought-
provoking questions aimed at improving AND promoting
communication between married couples.
Be it for yourself or for someone else, this book will certainly bring you tears of joy
while you explore what it means to be married.
and we must not forget the movies….
44
46. Singles
Director: Cameron Crowe
Starring: Bridget Fonda, Campbell Scott, and
Matt Dillon
Year: 1992
The characters in the movie are not far from the ever-
popular sitcom, Friends. As the title suggests, Singles
is about several singles living within the same block in
Seattle, a time when Grunge was in.
What makes up single life? The movie explores that,
and treads on familiar boy-meets-girl, they-exchange-numbers, and what-comes-next
hilarious situations.
As the characters go in search for answers to their questions on love, they finally
reconcile their emotional dilemmas with reality.
A must-watch for all as Singles is a dating guide in the form of a movie which teaches
the singles on the topic called love, and is a trip down memory lane for the married
ones.
To top it off, the movie is accompanied with a stellar listing of grunge music soundtrack
although Nirvana was missed out.
Top 10: Dating Tips from the Movies
Author: Fred Mulligan
Source: http://www.askmen.com/dating_top_ten_
100/112
_dating_list.html
This webpage contains a tongue-in-cheek list of 10 movies that we can extract dating
tips from, including hits like Alfie, Eyes Wide Shut, Indecent Proposal, Fatal Attraction,
What Experts Say
Swingers and The Star Wars Trilogy.
45
47. For instance from Pulp Fiction:
“What it teaches us: Even the most unattainable woman will pay attention to a man
that can dance. That doesn’t mean that you have to be Fred Astaire, but when you
take a woman out, be willing to get on the dance floor. And never give your boss’ wife
a foot massage, or drugs.”
Last but not least, If your search for dating information proves insatiable,
you can log on to:
Dating Directory
http://dmoz.org/Society/Relationships/Dating/Advice/
Lists a whole gamut of websites that will lead you to a
thrilling world of dating and relationship tips and advice.
Go for it!
Please note that all the books & movies mentioned are available in the
libraries. Please check online at www.nlb.gov.sg for their location and
availability. Proquest database is also accessible from the libraries.
46
48. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Supervisors: Jennifer Wee (SDU), Ivan Chew (NLB)
Editors: Carolina Wong (SDU), Joycelyn Tay (NLB)
Contributors:
Quotes are taken from http://www.zromance.com/love_quotes.asp, kindly selected
by SDU.
Many thanks to the librarians from National Library Board:
Audrey Chng
Chan Wai Ling
Eleaner Ang
Eugene Anthony
Grace Leong
Jillian Lim
Joycelyn Tay
Kelana Baharim
Lim Li Sa
Marhama Mohamed
Meenakshi Nandivada
Ng Cheng Soon
Ng Hwee Miang
Peter Chan
Rohayah Mohd Lani
Sharon Ong
Wilfred Loh
Yasmin Ally
The completion of this project will not be possible without your contribution.
What Experts Say
What Experts Say
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49. Services Available at NLB:
ASK!
An Advisory & Enquiry Service at the Public Library
Our librarians will provide information on any subject for your general interest, school
project, work, business, fiction and leisure reading interests.
Walk-In
The Reference & Reader’s Advisory Counters are located in
Jurong Regional Library Level 2 & 3
Tampines Regional Library Level 2
Woodlands Regional Library Level 2
Email
You may submit your questions to us via:
AdultServices@nlb.gov.sg
YoungPeopleServices@nlb.gov.sg
FictionAdvisory@nlb.gov.sg
ChildrenServices@nlb.gov.sg
What is Fiction Advisory?
We believe it is about “Learning about Life through Fiction”.
A world of emotive experiences is open to the Fiction Reader via the lives of the
characters in the books they read. Through the many different settings depicted in
Fiction books, readers can learn more about the world outside of their immediate
personal field of experiences. This broadens both their imagination and knowledge.
Email us at FictionAdvisory@nlb.gov.sg
High Browse Online
http://dl.nlb.gov.sg/highbrowseonline/
Helping You Make Informed Reading Decisions: An initiative by the Public Library
Services, NLB
Featuring book reviews, librarians’ recommendations, readers’ contributions, and
events at public libraries (some call us a Book Blog). We invite readers to post
comments or contribute reviews and recommendations.
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