Empathic leadership is an effective way to get people engaged. This article aims to explain in simple terms what it is, why it is effective and how to be an empathic leader.

1. Leading with empathy
By Bart Sasse
Leading with empathy, the only way to really lead … How common sense, self-awareness and a bit of
humility can improve the performance of your organization, whilst doing what feels right !
Leading people has a purpose, whether it is increasing the value of an enterprise or eradicating a
disease from our planet or progressing a political movement, or any other mission that makes sense
to those that strive for it.
The purpose is not, usually, to be nice or make people happy. This is not about helping people be
happy in the workplace or anywhere else. This is about applying common sense to motivate people
and to get them to be engaged to contribute to the purpose of an organization.
Engagement works. Yet in many large organizations, profit, not-for-profit or public, we fail to engage
the majority of our people, as is demonstrated by engagement surveys all over the world.
And yet, the keys to engagement are well known, and one of the most essential of them is an
empathic management style.
Empathic management, or rather empathic leadership, what does that mean? And how difficult is it
really?
My father always told me : “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you”.
Sounds like common sense, and it really is very close to being just a bit empathic towards others!
One of my trainers during my career is Yury Boshyk, a friendly Canadian I met in Prague. He realized
what is probably the most essential obstacle to being empathic. I have often thought of his phrase
“leave your ego at the door with your overcoat”.
Empathy : being able to look and sense from another
person’s perspective; the ability to understand and share
the feelings of another (google); the capacity to understand
or feel what another person is experiencing from within
the other person's frame of reference (wikipedia).
Numerous researches across dozens of countries have
demonstrated how the level of engagement of people and teams
in organizations positively impacts the performance of those
organizations in achieving their purpose. A 2016 Korn Ferry study
found that highly engaged organizations achieve 4.5 times
greater revenue growth than the lowest-engaged firms do.
In typical guttural old fashioned Dutch from the Lutheran bible of 1545: “Wat gij
niet wilt dat u geschiedt, doe dat ook een ander niet”

2. Maybe being empathic simply depends on being a little less full of ourselves and approaching others
with a bit of humility and some curiosity. Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, phrased the culture
change in Microsoft as going “from know it all to learn it all”.
Being empathic requires a touch of humility and curiosity for what the others feel or wish for. So
what do we all want ? Just ask Maslow, who explained this decades ago in his pyramid of needs :
For an increasing part of the working western world population physiological needs are becoming a
lesser concern, until natural or personal disasters happen and we realize how vulnerable we are. The
key area for driving the engagement levels of our people are there for Psychological en Self-
fulfillment, affecting the feelings of our employees and also the manager’s own feelings.
“welcome to this meeting, feel free to listen, speak and engage, and please
leave your ego at the door with your overcoat“
My favorite quote from Nelson Mandela, a top example of
empathic leadership, emphasizing openness to self-reflection
“I never lose, I either win or learn“

3. This leads us to what one could call the four dimensions of an empathic leader, (1) making people
feel valued and (2) offering them a purpose or mission to believe in, whilst (3) projecting optimism
and confidence and (4) being authentic and inspiring.
Through our behavior we can positively influence on these four dimensions :
What most managers do not realize is that these behaviors have a chemical (or biological) impact,
which contributes to their effectiveness as influencers of motivation and engagement ! This is the
result of the production of neurochemicals (natural drugs !) in our brain that impact on how we feel.
There are the “social drugs”, Oxytocin and Serotonin, which we can trigger in others to influence their mood.
When a person receives attention, respect and care from a manager or a peer (or a friend or family), this
triggers a chemical release of oxytocin in the brain, which gives a comfortable feeling of trust, friendship or love
toward others. The release of oxytocin is related to physical nearness, so a face to face expression of care, or a
friendly gesture, will contribute better than an email or text message.
When we show our appreciation for somebody’s work or talent (“you did a great job there!”), when we make
them feel valued, serotonin is released in the brain, which make us feel confident and proud and helps us to
resist rejection.
There are the “individual drugs”, Dopamine and Endorphins, which we can trigger to reward ourselves and to
strengthen our performance.
To set and achieve an ambitious goal, or reach a challenging target, will trigger the release of Dopamine, the
“winner’s drug”, it gives a feeling of satisfaction after a task is completed or a goal is reached. Interestingly it is
the main area touched by drugs like cocaine, which make us experience pleasure and feel less inhibited.
Endorphins help us persevere despite pain or fatigue, driven by our motivation to complete the task. It is often
referred to as the “runner’s drug” because during endurance sports the body will typically produce endorphins,
but it can also help us maintain energy during times of peak workloads and stress.

4. Let’s take a look how we can enhance our impact on those four dimensions:
1. One of the key characteristics that make empathic managers successful is their humility. Our
humility allows us to care for others, to let them shine whilst we enjoy their success.
Jim Collins, in ‘Good to Great’ describes humility (and fierce resolve) as a key trait of a Level 5 leader.
Some of the greatest and most enduring leaders in our modern world were known for their humility
and sometimes therefore were not even very well known, as Collins explained in his book. However,
a humble leader can have big and ambitious dreams and present a very challenging mission.
2. Mission, a compelling and authentic purpose !
……… ten years later ……….
Mission & Vision statements on fancy slides do no longer do the trick.
John Dame & Jeffrey Gedmin identified 6 ways to strengthen
our humility as a leader :
• Know what you don’t know
• Resist falling for your own publicity
• Never underestimate the competition
• Embrace and promote a spirit of service
• Listen to the weird ideas
• Be passionately curious

5. Millennials look for action with meaning, real progress, if not their short attention span will wander
off (and so will they !). They want to be part of something (potentially) big and important.
Constant reinforcement of the greater purpose is needed in both actions and words, the leader
needs to visibly integrate the purpose in daily business, he carries the vision in his day to day activity
and confirms its authenticity.
The purpose must be relevant to the industry, or project, but needs to go beyond the existence of
the organization, it should benefit parts of society, because it is the reason for being engaged and for
participating. The organization is (only?) the vehicle for channeling that engagement towards the
purpose.
Involving as many as possible in the development and achievement of the mission contributes to its
effectiveness in binding and engaging people, it has to be there for all staff / employees / partners,
not for the exclusive glory of the leadership.
3. The importance of short term success (and its impact)
Our classic management approach has been to create a plan and manage the deviations from the
plan, thus focusing most of the time on areas of underperformance. The obvious result has been a
corporate culture of risk avoidance and brilliance in explaining the deviations from the plan.
Today the more innovative and improvement minded management boards oblige every manager to
list successes of the week, in order to create a culture of constant sharing and storytelling of positive
news, results and success (at Microsoft it is called “Researcher of the Amazing”).
4. Authenticity is key, self-awareness essential
People relate to WHY , to the reason why we work towards something
and not to WHAT, the things we do to achieve them, a DREAM is more
inspiring than a PLAN, as Simon Sinek explains in ‘Start with WHY’, and
as Martin Luther King understood perfectly.
It has been scientifically proven that ‘happiness drives
performance’ and not vice versa, as the author Shawn
Achor confirmed in ‘The Happiness Advantage’.
Therefor a focus on positive news is not a Band-Aid to
make people feel good, it is a means to achieve better
performance in reality.
The fact the people are concentrated on reporting
positive results also actually drives focus on
achieving those positive results. It is a discipline that
turns into a habit and it starts at the top….

6. One of the keys to an empathic leadership style is generating trust. In order to generate trust we
have to be consistent and credible. People will, eventually, see through a manager who does not
really believe or support his words and acts, and uses them as “election campaign slogans”.
Honesty is no excuse for being rude or abrasive, which instills fear and rejection. By applying
curiosity, humbleness and caring for others, whilst remaining true to him / her self, the authentic
manager will craft an atmosphere of trust and learning in the team.
Self-awareness is not a static given. It requires for the manager to practice self-awareness constantly,
knowing and/or sensing his / her true beliefs and feelings and aligning actions or attitude with those.
The reward of empathic management :
We can quadruple the performance of our organization!
 Striving to realize our dreams instead of working on a plan
 Being surrounded by people that are passionate and engaged
 Building a virtuous circle of recognition from customers, employees and shareholders, and
society around us, that pushes us upwards constantly.
Being authentic does not mean being spontaneous, shooting from
the hip; it means responding in an honest manner that you really
believe in. An empathic manager will stay true to him / herself whilst
responding sensibly but honestly to a situation, not just on impulse.
Practicing self-awareness is about honesty, courage, profound
curiosity and letting go of things that are not real or of no value…,
searching that honest mirror that shows us who we really are.
All it takes is common sense :
 Be the leader we wish we had to lead us
 Do not do unto others what you would not want
them to do unto you