• “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or
Take-Away: Today’s enemy can be tomorrow’s
ally; treat accordingly
• “The Big Secret of Dealing with People”
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere
Take-Away: They might not remember
everything, but they will remember
how you made them feel
• “He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World
with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager
Take-Away: Help others get what they want and
you will get what you want
• “Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere”
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in
Take-Away: You are only as interesting as the
interest you show in others
• “A Simple Way to Make a Good First
Principle 2: Smile.
Take-Away: You are only as happy as you want to
be. Show others how happy you are
• “If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for
Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is
to that person the sweetest and
most important sound in any
Take-Away: How did you feel the last time
someone remembered your name
• “An Easy Way to Become a Good
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others
to talk about themselves.
Take-Away: Everybody has something to say, be
different and be the person that
• “How to Interest People”
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s
Take-Away: You may not be an expert in their
field of interest, but you can always
• “How to Make People Like You Instantly”
Principle 6: Make the other person feel
important – and do it sincerely.
Take-Away: You know who you are; find out
about the other person and take the
time to find out who they are
• “You Can’t Win an Argument”
Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an
argument is to avoid it.
Take-Away: “Winning” an argument does not
make you a winner
• “A Sure Way of Making Enemies – And How to
Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s
opinions. Never say, “You’re
Take-Away: People’s opinions are like their
children so treat them accordingly
• “If You’re Wrong, Admit It”
Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly
Take-Away: Don’t hide from your mistakes, they
will find you
• “A Drop of Honey”
Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.
Take-Away: Regardless of where you are going,
set the mood in a positive way to
• “The Secret of Socrates”
Principle 5: Get the other person saying “yes,
Take-Away: A path of yesses will always lead to
• “The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints”
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal
of the talking.
Take-Away: We have one mouth and two ears
• “How to Get Cooperation”
Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the
idea is his or hers.
Take-Away: Do you want the credit or to get
• “A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You”
Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the
other person’s point of view.
Take-Away: Forget walking a mile in their shoes,
just imagine for a second how things
might look to the person across
• “What Everybody Wants”
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other
person’s ideas and desires.
Take-Away: Remember when someone
mistreated your ideas and
desires…how did that feel
• “An Appeal That Everybody Likes”
Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
Take-Away: We all know what fair play is
• “The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You
Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas.
Take-Away: We all love a good story…do you tell
• “When Nothing Else Works, Try This”
Principle 12: Throw down a challenge.
Take-Away: What did you do the last time
somebody told you it couldn’t be
Part Four –
Be a Leader: How to Change
People Without Giving Offense or
• “If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to
Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest
Take-Away: Giving thanks always sets the right
• “How to Criticize – And Not Be Hated for It”
Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes
Take-Away: People know when they have erred,
how you respond to it is the
• “Talk About Your Own Mistakes First”
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before
criticizing the other person.
Take-Away: Making yourself human in another
person’s eyes only adds to your
powers of persuasion
• “No One Likes to Take Orders”
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct
Take-Away: The Socratic Method has many uses
(and many benefits)
• “Let the Other Person Save Face”
Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
Take-Away: Letting a person keep their dignity is
a great gift that we should always be
looking to give
• “How to Spur People On to Success”
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement
and praise every improvement. Be
“hearty in your approbation and
lavish in your praise.”
Take-Away: Positive feedback leads to positive
• “Give a Dog a Good Name”
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine
reputation to live up to.
Take-Away: People will meet the expectations
we set for them
• “Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct”
Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault
seem easy to correct.
Take-Away: The mindset you instill in another
will determine what they
• “Making People Glad to Do What You Want”
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about
doing the thing you suggest.
Take-Away: Show others what is in it for them
and you will leave a trail of satisfied