The talk based on this ppt can be heard here: https://www.thespiritualscientist.com/2019/09/3-metaphors-for-effective-parenting/ The speaker, Chaitanya Charan, is a monk, mentor and spiritual author. He has written 20 books and writes the world's only daily blog on the timeless spiritual class, Bhagavad-gita, at gitadaily.com

1. 3 Metaphors for
Effective
Parenting
- By Chaitanya Charan

2. Overview
1. Drona’s Academy - Common and Customised
2. 3 Metaphors: PGD - Pottery Gardening Driving
3. PGD - Parent Guide Detachedly
4. What detachment means & what it doesn’t

3. Drona’s Academy - Common & Customised
Each Pandava excelled in different skills;
1. Yudhishthir - Dharmaraj Most virtuous
2. Bhima - Physical strength & Prowess
3. Arjuna - Master Archer
4. Nakula - Attractive, Humble & Diplomatic
5. Sahadev - Wisest of all

4. Pottery
Do parents shape
their children’s mind
the way a potter
shapes clay?

5. Gardening
Are parents like
gardeners who facilitate
the growth of seeds into
flowers?

6. Driving
Teach driving skills and
give directions
Everyone has to drive
their own car

7. Parents Guide Detachedly
karmaṇy evādhikāras te
mā phaleṣu kadācana
mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr
mā te saṅgo ’stv akarmaṇi
- BG 2.47

8. Parents Guide Detachedly
Detachment is not the absence of emotions,
it is absence of emotional dependence

9. Everyone to be feel understand before they understand
Understanding is to the human heart what
oxygen is to the biological heart.

10. Understand children’s identity confusion
Not small enough to be satisfied by identifying as their
parent’s children but
Not old enough to have an identity of their own
Under tremendous peer pressure in their search for
identity

11. Be patient
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could
hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to 21
I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in
seven years.”
- Mark Twain

12. Reinforce desirable behaviour,
not undesirable behaviour
If children speak, “Something interesting happened today,”
● Hear them, putting your phone down &
● Hear them out before judging.

13. Make judgements
but don’t be judgemental
1. Prescriptive - You do this
2. Normative - This is the right thing to do
3. Descriptive - This is what I do & this is why

14. Follow Krishna’s Example
vimṛśyaitad aśeṣeṇa yathecchasi tathā kuru 18.63
● God doesn’t walks for us but he walks with us.
● We can’t walk for our children, but we can walk with
them.

15. 2 Modes of devotional surrender:
1. Diligence for Krishna - Arjuna
Pre-teen children - The love that guards
1. Dependence on Krishna - Draupadi
Teen & Post-teen children - The love that guides

16. Foster intrinsic self-worth,
not extrinsic self-worth
Appreciate children for their commitment,
not their achievement

17. Be patient
Long term relationship matters
more than short term results