Quoted in an article discussing whether or not celebrities are selfish to choose not to have children

1. C
ameron Diaz claims she’s happy
on the A-list, with her glittering
career, packed social calendar and
bursting bank balance. ‘I really
love my life,’ the 40-year-old star
says. But according to the court
of opinion, the actress couldn’t
possibly be happy with her lot because she
doesn’t have a husband and 2.4 kids.
‘The media and society in general tend
to follow the belief that it’s natural to be in
a relationship and then settle down and have
children,’ psychologist Danya Braunstein
tells OK!. ‘This reinforces the attitude that it’s
not “normal” to want to stay childless, and
puts added pressure on people that there’s
something wrong with them if they aren’t
able to have children or don’t want them.’
Actress Portia de Rossi admits she and
partner Ellen DeGeneres once felt under
the pump to start a family.
‘There comes some pressure in your mid-30s
and you think, “Am I going to have kids so
I don’t miss out on something that other people
really seem to love?”’ the 40-year-old Aussie
says. ‘Or is it that I really genuinely want to
do this with my whole heart?’ But the actress
refused to cave into society’s expectations.
‘I didn’t feel that my response was, “Yes” to the
latter. You have to really want to have kids and
neither of us did,’ she explains. ‘So it’s just going
to be me and Ellen and no babies – but we’re
the best of friends and married life is blissful.’
It isn’t just a Hollywood thing. In Australia,
as in other industrialised countries, rates of
childlessness are rising. Why then, are women
who make this choice often maligned for it?
‘Thejudgmentisaboutthechoicebeingseen
asselfish,’clinicalpsychologistDrJanetHalltells
OK!.‘Allparentsexperiencethecompromises
in time and money availability and
resent those that are childless by
choice as freewheelers who have no
responsibility or obligations to family.’
But Dr Hall believes this is an unfair
conclusion.
‘Many men and women have simply
never wanted children and live a full
‘Mum’
isnot
thewordfor
everyone–but
preparetobe
judged
OKornotOK?
CHILDFREE
SELFISH?
B MAY 27, 2013

2. OPINIONThe
CREDITHEREPLEASE
life without them. It’s as if they are “wired”
to enjoy being childless,’ she tells OK!. ‘Some
people actually don’t like children!’
Comedian Chelsea Handler claims her
decision to stay child free is unselfish. ‘I don’t
think I’d be a great mother,’ the 38-year-old says.
‘I don’t want to have a kid and have it raised by
a nanny. I don’t have the time to raise a child.’
Aussie pop star Ricki-Lee Coulter says she
also can’t squeeze a bub into her schedule.
‘[The entertainment industry] is not really the
climate or environment to raise a kid in. Plus,
it’snotsomethingIdesire,’the27-year-oldsinger
says.‘I saw my aunties and my mum give up
a part of themselves and their dreams to have
kids. There were things they wanted to achieve
in life, but they had kids instead. I’m not saying
that women who have kids can’t be successful,
but it’s really hard, especially in my business.’
Lackoftimeisonereasonsomewomenshun
parenthood,accordingtothestudyChildlessness
in Australia. Undertaken by Dr Bronwyn
Harman,lecturerintheSchoolofPsychologyand
SocialScienceatPerth’sEdithCowanUniversity,
theresearchlookedatwhypeoplechoosetonot
havechildren.Ofthe330womensurveyed,250
werevoluntarilychildfreeand80involuntarily.
‘The main reason for not having children
is, simply, they just don’t want them,’ says
Dr Harman. ‘One analogy was it was like
a Lamborghini: you might want to drive
[one] but you don’t really want to own one.’
Renée Zellweger, 44, agrees. ‘Motherhood has
never been an ambition,’ she says. ‘My brother
has two children now, so I’ve been playing aunt
Renée.It’schaos.Mumsoutthere,kudostoyou.’
If there’s any celeb who’s been plagued by
the baby brigade, it’s Jennifer Aniston. The
44-year-old star says the constant speculation
over whether she’s ever going to have kids is
‘narrow-minded’. ‘That doesn’t measure the
level of my happiness or success in my life,
in my achievements, in any of that,’ she says.
While Jen may be playing down her
desireforbabiesnow,thestarhasadmitted
‘MOTHERHOOD
HAS NEVER BEEN
AN AMBITION’
BYCHOICE
SMUG?
MAY 27, 2013

3. OPINIONThe
in the past that she wants to be a mum
– or does she? Rumours swirled when she
split from Brad Pitt in 2005 that the couple
had clashed over Jen’s reluctance to start
a family. She vehemently denied the claims
and has been speaking out about her
dream to be a mother ever since. But
is that because of a genuine desire,
or is Jen just telling her female fans
what they want to hear?
Psychologist Danya Braunstein
thinks it makes Jen more relatable.
‘JenniferAnistonhashadadifficult
timeinrelationshipsinthepastand
mostlikelypeoplefeelasense
ofsympathyforherandwant
hertoachieveherdreams,’she
says.‘Thefactthatshehasbeen
quotedsayingthatshewould
liketohavechildrenbutwon’tbe
disappointedifitdoesn’thappen
showsamatureandaccepting
attitudetowardsherlife.’
Ofcourse,therearethosecelebs
whosaytheycan’timaginelifewithout
theirbabies.‘Motherhoodisthebestthing
I’veeverexperienced,’JessicaSimpsongushes,
whileKourtneyKardashiansays,‘Ilovebeing
amum.IneverthoughtIwouldloveitthis
much.It’sbetterthanIeverimagined.’Even
tough-talkingPinkmeltsatthementionofher
toddler,Willow.‘Havingachildisthebestthing
thatcouldhappen,’shesays.‘Ididn’tknowyou
couldloveanythingthismuch.’JenniferLopez
agrees:‘They’resoprecioustoyouandthey
makeeverythingbetterinmylife.’
Aussie TV presenter Yumi Stynes may dote
on her two daughters, but she refuses to buy
into the idea that her life would be nothing
without them.
‘I’ve never understood people who say they
didn’t know about love until they had children,’
the 37-year-old says. ‘It must be incredibly
annoying to hear people say they didn’t know
what love was until they had children if you’re
one of the many people out there who doesn’t
have kids of your own.’
ActressHelenMirrensaysshehadan
openapproachtomotherhood.‘Itwas
notmydestiny.Ikeptthinkingitwould
be,waitingforittohappen,butitnever
did,andIdidn’tcarewhatpeople
thought,’saysthe67-year-oldstar,who
admitsitwasonly‘boringoldmen’who
everharassedheraboutherposition.
‘Andwhenevertheywent,“What?No
children?Well,you’dbettergeton
withit,oldgirl”,I’dsay,“No!F---off!”’
Prime Minister Julia Gillard
was just as defiant back in 2007
when Senator Bill Heffernan
claimed the then-deputy Labor
leader was unqualified to run
the country because she was
‘deliberately barren’. Julia blasted
her opponent for his comments:
‘I don’t think Australian women
need Bill Heffernan or anybody else to
give them advice on how to live their lives.
We’re pretty good at making our own choices.’
So why is it so hard to accept that successful
women are fulfilled and happy, not flawed
and missing out because they don’t have kids?
Danya Braunstein thinks it’s down to society’s
focus on the fairytale that settling down will
equal contentment. ‘Many people believe they
will be happier when they have a partner or
when they have children, however – for some
– achieving this only leads to disappointment,
unhappiness and lack of fulfilment,’ she tells
OK!. ‘It’s important for people to be happy
within themselves to find life fulfilment and
make personal decisions that suit their goals.’
‘Isn’t that on every girl’s
radar? You’re born, and
you’re like, “I want to get
married,”’ Kelly Osbourne
says of her desire to don
the white dress. Equally
as open about her dream
to wed is Kim Kardashian.
Speaking before her
ill-fated nuptials to Kris
Humphries, she gushed,
‘I’ve envisioned the whole
thing. What woman hasn’t
thought about her wedding
since she was a little girl?’
Even though her union
lasted just 72 days, she is
already considering saying
‘I do’ for a third time, with
current beau Kanye West.
But Heather Graham
says a wedding isn’t on her
‘to do’ list. ‘I’m not against
[marriage]. I would like
to be with someone for
the rest of my life. But I’d
rather be happily single
than unhappily married,’
she explains. ‘What’s funny
is that if I’d been a man,
you would’ve said, “Wow,
you managed to never get
married – good for you.”
But because I’m a woman,
it’s, “What’s the matter?
What’s wrong with you?”’
Psychologist Niral Shah
says, ‘Some women are not
wired to get married, take
responsibilities or have
children. It’s almost [like]
men not wanting to do
the same. The difference,
however, is you’re a woman
and it’s an understood
norm that women are
required to do all these! It is
unfair, but this is the truth.’
NO HURRY TO WEDBabiesaren’ttheonlythingssomestarsdon’t
want;theycouldtakeorleaveahusband,too!
‘CAREER’
IS AN
EXCUSETalk show host Wendy
Williams says she missed not
having a man and a child
I’m not proud of this,
but I judge women
who say they aren’t
interested in having
children. I just do.
And the fact that
Chelsea Handler
recently admitted
that she has no
desire to be
a mother makes
me think she’s
suspect. Along with
being the greatest
species in
the world, women
have an amazing
ability to
multi-task and
be working people
and mothers,
so Chelsea’s
explanation that
she wants to put
her career first is, to me,
an excuse. I had a career
before I had my family. The
career afforded me a lot of
things, but what I was missing
was a man and a child.
I REALLY
LOVE
MY LIFEActress Cameron Diaz says the
planet doesn’t need any more
kids – we have plenty already!
I think women are afraid to say that
they don’t want children because they
are going to get shunned, but I think
that’s changing now, too. I have more
girlfriends who don’t have kids than
those that do. And honestly? We don’t
need any more kids. We have plenty of
people on this planet. Having children
changes your life drastically, and I really
love my life. Children aren’t the only
things that bring you gratification and
happiness, and it’s easier to give life
than to give love, so I don’t know. That
kind of change would have to be either
very well thought out, or a total mistake
– a real oops! I have three nieces and
a nephew. I know what it’s like. I’ve
changed the diapers; I’ve seen three
births, so I totally get the whole picture.
I don’t think it’s a compromise to have
children – I don’t think it’s a compromise
not to – I think it’s just a different choice.
NOTOK!
IT’SOK!
TEXTBYOLIVIAO’BRIENPHOTOGRAPHSBYPICTUREMEDIA
WHAT
ABOUT CHILD-
FREE FELLAS?
George Clooney has
admitted ‘fatherhood
wasn’t for me’ and that his
priority is his work, yet
no-one is feeling sorry
for the childless
52-year-old!
MODEL
MUM
While successfully
juggling both work and
being a mum to Flynn,
Miranda Kerr has
recently cut down
on her modelling
career
36 I WWW.OKMAGAZINE.COM.AU