Motivation, like parenting, is complex and hard to quantify. However, it is possible to become better at it. Whether you’re persuading your toddler to eat her vegetables, want your teenaged son to study for the SATs, or trying to get your 20- something to move out of the house, David Kinniear includes 4 tips to keep in mind.
4. D A V I D K I N N E A R
I N C L U D E S T H E S E 4 T I P S
T O K E E P I N M I N D . . .
5. w w w . s c i e n t i f i c a m e r i c a n . c o m / a r t i c l e / t h e - s e c r e t - t o - r a i s i n g -
s m a r t - k i d s 1 /
P a r e n t s s h o u l d p r a i s e t h e i r k i d s ’
e f f o r t , a s o p p o s e d t o i n n a t e
t a l e n t , r e s e a r c h s u g g e s t s .
#1. PRAISE EFFORT
RATHER THAN
INTELLIGENCE OR
SUCCESS.
6. T o f o s t e r h e a l t h y
e m o t i o n a l a n d
p s y c h o l o g i c a l
g r o w t h i n t h e i r
c h i l d r e n , p a r e n t s
a r e b e t t e r o f f
c o m m e n d i n g t h e i r
k i d s ’ h a r d w o r k ,
r a t h e r t h a n
f l a t t e r i n g t h e i r
k i d s ’ c o g n i t i v e
g i f t s .
7. S t u d i e s s u g g e s t
t h a t c h i l d r e n
w h o a r e p r a i s e d
f o r b e i n g s m a r t
m a y s h o w l e s s
r e s i l i e n c e a s
a d u l t s a n d m a y
b e m o r e l i k e l y t o
a v o i d
c h a l l e n g e s .
8. OPEN HOUSE ON
MAY 3, 2019
W h i l e i t ’ s t e m p t i n g t o t e l l
y o u r k i d s h o w s m a r t t h e y
a r e , i t ’ s i m p o r t a n t t o b e
m i n d f u l o f y o u r p a r e n t -
c h i l d i n t e r a c t i o n s a n d h o w
t h e y a f f e c t y o u r k i d s ’
d e v e l o p m e n t a n d s e n s e o f
s e l f .
9. I t ’ s e a s y t o b e c o m e o v e r l y - i n v e s t e d i n
y o u r k i d ’ s e d u c a t i o n a n d a c a d e m i c
l i f e ; a s p a r e n t s , w e k n o w h o w
i m p o r t a n t e d u c a t i o n i s t o f u t u r e
s u c c e s s .
#2. TAKE YOURSELF
OUT OF THE
EQUATION.
10. P a r e n t s w h o p u t
p r e s s u r e o n t h e i r
k i d s t o e x c e l
a c a d e m i c a l l y a r e
o f t e n m o t i v a t e d
b y t h e i r o w n
f e a r s a n d
a n x i e t i e s
s u r r o u n d i n g t h e i r
c h i l d ’ s f u t u r e
s u c c e s s .
11. R E M E M B E R T O K E E P T H E
B I G P I C T U R E I N M I N D .
12. R a t h e r t h a n
e m p h a s i z e y o u r
c h i l d ’ s g r a d e s i n
s c h o o l , h e l p h e r
b a l a n c e
s c h o o l w o r k w i t h
f r i e n d s h i p s ,
v o l u n t e e r w o r k ,
a n d f a m i l y
a c t i v i t i e s .
13. OPEN HOUSE ON
MAY 3, 2019
H e l p h e r c u l t i v a t e h e r
o w n m o t i v a t i o n s a n d
p a s s i o n s . P r e s s u r i n g
y o u r c h i l d i s
c o u n t e r p r o d u c t i v e a n d
u s u a l l y m a k e s t h i n g s
w o r s e .
14. A m o u n t i n g b o d y o f e v i d e n c e s u g g e s t s
t h a t f e e l i n g a s e n s e o f c o n n e c t i o n – a
s e n s e o f b e l o n g i n g – c a n b e e x t r e m e l y
m o t i v a t i n g f o r c h i l d r e n , e s p e c i a l l y f o r
t h o s e w h o ’ v e e x p e r i e n c e d a d v e r s i t y .
#3. MAKING A
CONNECTION IS
IMPORTANT.
15. I f y o u w a n t
p e o p l e t o
d e v e l o p
p e r s i s t e n c e , o r
t o s t i c k w i t h a
p r o j e c t o v e r t h e
l o n g t e r m , y o u
n e e d t o m a k e
t h e m f e e l t h e y
h a v e a s e n s e o f
p u r p o s e .
16. OPEN HOUSE ON
MAY 3, 2019
C u l t i v a t i n g a s e n s e o f
p u r p o s e a n d
e n g a g e m e n t i s h a r d t o
d o w i t h s i m p l e
m a t e r i a l r e w a r d s a n d
p u n i s h m e n t s .
17. W e p a r e n t s a r e n ’ t g r e a t a t
u n d e r s t a n d i n g w h a t m o t i v a t e s
( o r d e - m o t i v a t e s ) o u r c h i l d r e n .
#4. HELP THEM
CULTIVATE THEIR OWN
MOTIVATION.
18. F i g u r i n g o u t
w a y s t o g e t y o u r
k i d s t o t u n e i n t o
t h e i r o w n
m o t i v a t i o n i s
k e y , s a y s D a n
A r i e l y , a
p r o f e s s o r o f
p s y c h o l o g y a n d
b e h a v i o r a l
e c o n o m i c s a t
D u k e U n i v e r s i t y .
19. P a r e n t s c a n
s t i m u l a t e t h e i r
c h i l d ’ s i n n a t e
i n t e l l e c t u a l
c u r i o s i t y b y
e n c o u r a g i n g h i m
o r h e r t o p u r s u e
i n t e r e s t s o u t s i d e
o f s c h o o l .
20. OPEN HOUSE ON
MAY 3, 2019
I t c a n b e d i f f i c u l t t o
r e l i n q u i s h c o n t r o l , b u t
g i v i n g c h i l d r e n a m p l e
l a t i t u d e t o f i n d t h e i r
o w n p a s s i o n p a y s o f f .
22. FOLLOW DAVID
KINNEAR
F O R T H E L A T E S T F I N A N C E
N E W S & U P D A T E S !
@KinnearDavid Linkedin.com/in/David-
Kinnear
Facebook.com/David
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