We often face the problem like people do not listen to us and don’t do what we suggest as the best solutions because they do not value your ideas or they think your opinion is not worth their time to consider. What should we do to strengthen the power of our words and make people want to listen to our opinion and follow it?
9. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
Q: When do we have a conversation?
Q: Are you ready for that conversation?
Q: Do you really want to have that conversation?
10. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
From inside, are you “self-prepared”,
emotionally, and knowledgeably?
11. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
“By failing to prepare,
you are preparing to fail.”
― Benjamin Franklin
13. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
2. What are listed in your
action plan for the
conversation?
14. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
What do you care about when having
a conversation?
● Your purpose?
● Your intention?
● Your plan?
● Your words?
● Your feelings?
● Your…?
18. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
When talking to a person, have you ever considered:
● Their feelings,
● Their emotions,
● And things that they care MORE about?
19. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
Are you putting your feet in
their shoes?
20. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
When you visit somebody’s
house,
follow their rules.
23. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
Face the direction they are
looking at
& care what they care
24. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
‘Cause people are more willing to
spend time listening and reacting to
a friend rather than
a random stranger.
25. DevDay 2019 Speaker: Kat Pham Seadev LLC
So, don’t be stressed out
when talking to people.
Be their companion.
But what does it really mean? Are we convincing people to do what we want, or are we convincing them to open their ears and accept what we say?
Eg:
People “heard”, but not keep in mind what you said
People “heard”, then asked you “SO WHAT”?
People “heard”, seemed to agree with you (by their reactions you have an assumption), but eventually they did not, or did exactly opposite what you suggested
Starts with Questions
Is it not just open your mouth and talk?
Send a message/email, and that’s all, right?
Only talk when it’s necessary
There’s a purpose behind, and you want to achieve a specific goal
Talk less, but talk meaningful things only.
Avoid “Vô thưởng vô phạt” topics in conversations/work/meetings/etc.
I am not going to send out ANY emails if I am not confident that I understand what it talks about.
All of the previous discussions were for INTERNAL preparation
But the most important thing is about PREPARING YOUR AUDIENCE
Whatever we are trying to do, it’s about making sure THE OTHERS do what we want
These are not wrong, they are necessary and very important, but… they are in the first step already… ;)
Will a topic which is
Well prepared
Logical
Well presented
Etc.
Be accepted? Not really.
Myths
Cần cù bù thông minh? Not really, if the method is not correct
It’s all about YOU, while what matters is THEM.
For example, when a team member reports/presents a problem and, maybe, a solution to a manager, do main concerns of that team member always match with the manager?
Eg:
Explain why certain Ads keep showing on your hot-temper father’s FB newsfeed (who has just learned to use FB and hates those ads)
Use the examples that they are familiar with
Complain hopelessly to a telesale person when they keep bothering you ;)
People who talk slow and need time/repetition to process the topic/info you provide => your dad with FB
People who only talk about clear steps and results with fast movements - Sven Sunrise
The telesale person - slow but powerful and scary space
Difference between a manager and a staff when looking at the same matter
Different zones of a person:
strangers,
somebody I know,
acquaintances,
friends,
people I respect
Will you ever waste time listening to someone you don’t know trying to educate you how to live healthily? DAY DREAMING.
As they will pick up your emotions…and get stressed…and get frustrated…And your conversation is gone...