Copyright @ 2011 Christine Fonseca

1. Giftedkids.ie Webinar Series
Being an Emotional Coach
to
Gifted Children
Presented by
Christine Fonseca
Author: Emotional Intensity in Gifted
Students and
101 Success Secrets for Gifted Kids
Supported by
Social Entrepreneurs Ireland,
C.T.Y.I. & N.C.T.E.

2. Being an Emotional Coach to
Gifted Children
A Guide for Parents and Educators
Presented by:
Christine N. Fonseca, MS PPS
Author of Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students and
101 Success Secrets for Gifted Kids

3. Learning Targets
In this presentation, you’ll learn:
• Why gifted children need emotional coaching
• A clear understanding of the attributes of
effective coaching
• Specific strategies for coaching gifted kids
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

4. Characteristics of Giftedness
• Intellectual • Personality/Emotional
– Exceptional reasoning ability – Insightful
– Intellectual curiosity – Need to understand
– Rapid learning rate – Need for mental stimulation
– Facility with abstracts – Perfectionism
– Complex thought processes – Need for precision or logic
– Vivid imagination – Excellent sense of humor
– Early moral concern – Sensitivity/empathy
– Passion for learning (not – Intensity
necessarily for school)
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

5. Potential problems with being gifted
• School:
– Easily bored/frustrated in – “Tunnel” vision; stubborn,
school poor switching of tasks or
– Problem focusing on the changing of sets
mundane – Lack of sufficient challenge in
– Scattered; disorganized; too schoolwork
many projects at once – Can not finish assignments;
– Reads at the expense of social hard time making decisions
development – Poor Study habits
– Boredom in school; resist – Resists sameness and routine
repetitive assignments; tasks; insists on intellectual
inaccurate or sloppy work challenges
– Little to no patience for – Poor risk taking
regular math work or showing – Wonders off subject
work in math
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

6. Potential problems with being gifted
• Peers:
– Impatient; arrogant – “Loner”; resistant to
– Can’t connect with fitting in with class,
peers; stubborn popular culture or peers
– Social avoidance – Poor communication
– Talks too much; seems with peers
conceited; listening – Isolation from peers
problems
– Seems bossy;
nonconformist;
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

7. Potential problems with being gifted
• Emotional:
– Emotionally intense – Impatient; sees too much
– Unrealistic expectations of – Disruptive; class clown
self and others; perfectionist; – Uses humor to seek attention
depression; – Excessive questioning (why,
– Excessively competitive why)
– Low frustration tolerance – Goes too far; seems
– Easily hurt disruptive;
– Feels powerless to solve – unable to accept help
world problems
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

8. Emotional Intensity – A closer look
• Emotional Intensity is expressed as:
– Intense feelings
• Positive
• Negative
• Both together
• Complex emotion the moves rapidly from one to
another
• Extreme empathy
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

9. Emotional Intensity – A closer look
• Emotional Intensity is expressed as:
– Body reaction
• Stomach aches
• Blushing
• Heart palpitations
• Headache
• nausea
– Inhibition
• Timid
• Shy
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

10. Emotional Intensity – A closer look
• Emotional Intensity is expressed as:
– Affective Memory
• Relive feelings over and over again
– Fears
– Anxieties
– Feelings of guilt
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

11. Emotional Intensity – A closer look
• Emotional Intensity is expressed as:
– Feelings of being out of control
– Depressive moods
– Strong emotional attachments to people and
things
– Critical self-evaluations
• Feelings of inadequacy
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

12. Extroversion
• Highly verbal
• Peer relationships
– Problems understanding social cues
– Problems with competition
– Overall impact of peer difficulties
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

13. Introversion
• Two personas
– Public
– Private Learn by watching
• Become grouchy if around people for too long
• Need down time
– Need personal space
• Easily humiliated
• Rarely interrupt
– Hate being interrupted
• Quiet with some people
– Need significant “warm up” time
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

14. What does this have to do with coaching?
“Coaching moves away from telling a child what do
to, and focuses on giving him or her the tools
necessary to independently figure things out
(Cook, 1999).”
- Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students, page 125.
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

15. What does this have to do with coaching?
Coaching enables the parent or educator to
reach the child and TEACH specific strategies
so THEY can learn to self monitor and adjust
behavior.
In short, being an emotional coach helps the
child build their emotional intelligence (EQ).
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

16. Global Attributes of an Effective Coach
• Understands the child • Knows how to
at a deep level communicate
• Seeks new information effectively
when needed • Consistent discipline
• Understands the nature • Leads by example
of giftedness • Is committed to the
• Knows how to motivate process of growth
• Knows how to listen
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

17. Effective Communication
• Understand your child. • Communication
• Clearly express your happens in both verbal
needs and wants to and nonverbal ways.
your child without Pay attention to both.
blaming. • Learn to deal effectively
• Practice active listening with roadblocks as the
skills and teach them to come up.
your child
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

18. Roadblocks to Communication
• Typical child-based • Typical adult-based
roadblocks roadblocks
– Whining – Threatening
– Yelling or crying – Shaming
– Making judgments
– Ignoring
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

19. Effective Facilitation
• Focus on the teaching • Use modeling and
the following to the prompting techniques
child: to teach desired
– Recognizing intense
outcomes
feelings and behaviors
– Understanding the • Focus is on teaching
source of those feelings how to think, not what
– How to redirect the to think.
feelings into more
productive behaviors
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

20. Inspiring Others
• Start with a strong • Be a source of
commitment to both motivation.
the child and their • Demonstrate
unique growth process. unconditional high
regard for the child, no
• See difficult times as matter how hard things
opportunities to make get.
positive growth. • Provide the foundation
needed to navigate
through the hard times.
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

21. Appropriate issues for “coaching”
• Self monitoring of behavior
• Understanding the meaning of being gifted
• Dealing with intensity – both cognitive and
emotional
• All of the potential problems outlined earlier
are good for this type of technique
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

22. Specific Strategies
• Emotional:
– See emotional intensity as a NORMAL part of
being gifted
– Use intellect to develop self-awareness and self-
acceptance
– Discuss feeling openly
– Consistent discipline
– Relaxation techniques
– Teach an appropriate outlets for frustration

23. Final Thoughts
• Give yourself a break – parenting and
educating gifted kids is both rewarding and
challenging!
• Seeking additional resources if things are
overwhelming
– Books
– Schools
– Mental Health professionals
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

24. Questions?
• Questions?
• Contact Information:
Christine Fonseca
Website – http://christinefonseca.com
Blog – http://christinefonseca.wordpress.com
Email – christine@christinefonseca.com
Presentation is the sole property of
Christine Fonseca. No parts may be
reproduced without expressed permission

25. Christine Fonseca – Author of Emotional Intensity in Gifted
Students and 101 Success Secrets for Gifted Kids.
Christine Fonseca has worked in the field of
education for more than 10 years. Relying on her
expertise as a school psychologist, she has been a
resource to parents and educators for understanding
the social and emotional needs of gifted children.
She holds a master’s degree in school psychology
and has served as a school psychologist, speaker,
consultant, parenting coach and trainer. Currently,
Christine conducts trainings for parents and
educators in the Southern California area, where she
lives with her husband and gifted daughters. Her
recent release, Emotional Intensity in Gifted
Students (Prufrock Press, 2010) has received great
reviews from both parents and educators.
In addition to writing books related to
giftedness, Christine writes novels for teens that deal
with the often intense emotions felt during
adolescence When she is not directly working with
children and parents, she spends her time at her
favorite coffee house, writing her next book. If you
would like to learn more about Christine, please visit:
www.christinefonseca.com.

26. Christine Fonseca – Author of Emotional Intensity in Gifted
Students and 101 Success Secrets for Gifted Kids.
Designed to provide support for the difficult job of parenting and teaching
gifted children, Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students: Helping Kids Cope
with Explosive Feelings provides the resource parents and teachers need to
not only understand why gifted children are so extreme in their behavior, but
also learn specific strategies to teach gifted children how to live with their
intensity.
•AVAILABLE THROUGH PRUFROCK PRESS, AMAZON, AND OTHER
FINE RETAILERS
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING…
“I cannot recommend this book strongly enough. Ms. Fonseca's understanding, compassion,
and enthusiasm for gifted and talented children shines in this easily understood read. Her
amusing and sometimes heart breaking examples explain the frustration and brilliance of the
gifted in a way I've never seen before. Parents, Teachers, you need this book.”
-Julie R Fedynich, parent
“Simply put, buying and reading this book will be one of the best investments a parent or
educator can ever make as they guide the gifted children in their care.”
-Lisa Conrad, parent and author
Pssst! Want to know a secret? 101 Success Secrets for Gifted Kids: The
Ultimate Handbook is a must-read for gifted kids ages 8 to 12 who want to find
success in school and life. If you’re a gifted kid or you know gifted kids, you need
the 101 awesome secrets, tips, and tricks included in this book!
•AVAILABLE MAY 1, 2011. PREORDER NOW THROUGH PRUFROCK
PRESS, AMAZON AND OTHER FINE RETAILERS

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