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Confident YOU

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CONFIDENT YOU
Practical tips on improving your confidence
Prelude 3
Introduction 4
Understanding Confidence 5
Fads about Confidence 6
The Change 7
Key task 1 8
Key task 2 9
The imp...
Prelude
There are groups that seems to be living their lives almost exclusively
through social media, becoming more and mo...
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Confident YOU

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Practical tips on improving your confidence.
There are people who live “normal lives” and appear to be “just fine,” but due to their problems with confidence often stumble over obstacles they should never be stumbling over.
Tips on how you can get rid of stage fear, meeting new people, starting your own business.

Practical tips on improving your confidence.
There are people who live “normal lives” and appear to be “just fine,” but due to their problems with confidence often stumble over obstacles they should never be stumbling over.
Tips on how you can get rid of stage fear, meeting new people, starting your own business.

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Confident YOU

  1. 1. CONFIDENT YOU Practical tips on improving your confidence
  2. 2. Prelude 3 Introduction 4 Understanding Confidence 5 Fads about Confidence 6 The Change 7 Key task 1 8 Key task 2 9 The important questions 11 About the author 13 TABLE OF CONTENTS
  3. 3. Prelude There are groups that seems to be living their lives almost exclusively through social media, becoming more and more narcissistic, with their smartphones practically glued to their hands & faces. Constantly worried about their social perception and about maintaining their image, they lose contact with their true selves. This increasingly popular phenomena shows that healthy self-esteem & confidence are becoming a rare commodity . Then we have another layer, these are people who often feel socially anxious, people who are shy, insecure and doubtful about things, about themselves, about their own way. There are also people who live “normal lives” and appear to be “just fine,” but due to their problems with confidence often stumble over obstacles they should never be stumbling over. The first thing many people say about themselves is that they are insufficient. It’s a little bit more difficult for most to admit that they are magnificent.
  4. 4. I’m not the one who dictates what is wrong and the right way to go through your own life. But since you’ve probably been looking for valuable knowledge about confidence, ask yourself if You can’t expect your life to change at all if you remain passive. It’s about facing reality. It’s about being active. | Do you like what you do? | Do you like the way you look? | Do you often feel judged? | Do you feel socially comfortable? | Do you feel safe about your job? The way you live now is the way you want to spend the rest of your life. We have all heard our entire lives that we should be something else in order to finally reach happiness—that we should study hard, go to this or that college, that we should be different, that we should become a doctor, engineer or lawyer, build a big house, get married, become a father or a mother, that we are not suitable for this or that, that we should never say or think certain things, and so on.
  5. 5. That’s how the term “self-confidence” came about. It’s about being confident in your SELF. Confidence is not about becoming someone else. They’re not about changing who you are! Don’t change yourself. | Change your bad habits, | Change your thought-patterns, | Change your environment, | Change your friends if you have to, | Change your detrimental behaviors but stay who you are. Be true to your real essence, your real soul. Confidence means that you feel good about yourself in almost every situation. When you are confident other people’s words and opinions can hardly affect the way you feel. It’s about knowing both your strong and weak sides, your attributes, if you will, being aware and consciously using your uniqueness to succeed
  6. 6. Self-confidence is not an absolute absence of fear and self-doubt. Confident people simply know that they have to act apart from that fear & know how to do that. Self-confidence IS NOT about arrogance, exaltation, believing “I am better than others,” acting like a king or treating others without kindness and empathy. Such childish behaviors & attitudes are often confused with self-confidence Self-confidence is: 1. The ability to act despite the fear and doubts that are inside you; the ability to get out of your comfort zone; the ability to cope with the challenges of everyday life. 2. Knowledge about how to do something and the certainty that you can actually use that skill in a practical situation. 3. The ability to stand up for your own rights; the ability to defend yourself.
  7. 7. Sooner or later, usually we come to the realization that something’s wrong with us in terms of not having enough confidence, and we finally start taking action. People usually tend to run away from their fears, instead of facing them. Paradoxically, once you face your fears, you will usually feel excitement and other good emotions—happiness, liberation, joy and adventure—which will continue to appear more frequently in your life afterwards. Everybody’s afraid, confident people are just those who have learned to act against their fear or even make friends with their fear—this is the true art, as opposed to hiding beneath your fear your entire life. There are much better, easier and safer methods of developing your self-confidence, and you can do it systematically, every day—as opposed to in extreme sports and events. What’s that? Every single time you are afraid of something—DO IT. Very often, though, instead of taking small steps, we take big hops and start doing things that might be considered “adventures” by the majority of our society. Like bungee jumping, para sailing, parachute jumping, but truth be told confidence remains practically unchanged!
  8. 8. KEY TASK 1 If you want to make yourself more aware of the things that are really stopping you, take a sheet of paper and write down everything you are afraid of in your life. No matter what situations make you afraid, try to write down EVERY SINGLE ONE.
  9. 9. KEY TASK 2 Once you have your list ready, take a few moments to understand or reflect on what is it that you are really afraid of. For example, you might have written down that you are afraid of giving a presentation—but you can’t really be afraid of giving a presentation as such, can you? It’s not a battle field; nobody will start shooting at you; you are perfectly safe, and you know that. What you can be afraid of, though, is, for instance, being criticized, failing (not being able to finish your speech), other people judging you, laughing at you, etc. Most importantly, you could spend countless hours working on your fear, and know your presentation perfectly well, but the stage fright will appear anyway, because the real, main fear— for example, the fear of rejection or being laughed at—wasn’t worked through.
  10. 10. The fear that appeared to be the “main” fear—giving presentation—might be, and usually is, just a surface problem, underneath which other fears are hiding—fear that harsh criticism will be too crushing to cope with, or that you will never be given the chance to give a presentation again, etc. The same goes for the fear of meeting new people, a new job, starting your own business, or even relationships. Running away from the fear of rejection, at the same time not noticing that by not approaching they induce bad emotions in themselves and, in a sense, reject themselves, making it GUARANTEED that they will never succeed. In short, they make their emotions even worse by their own thought processes. Once you have all your fears written down, take a few moments to think what might be hidden underneath them, what your core fear is in all this. Once you’re done doing that, you can ask yourself 2 very useful questions.
  11. 11. Important question #1: What’s the worst possible thing that can happen if I mess up?” Example During my speech everyone will start laughing at me if I forget what I have to say, ask yourself if this has ever happened to you in the past, and if this is possible at all. This emotion is very useful and interesting when combined with fear, creating a new emotion, some combination of intrigue and excitement, which is rather stimulating and helps us take action and move forward. It’s very good to ask yourself these questions, as the vast majority of our fears are illusory and once they are disassembled into parts and explored enough, most of them just disappear and we can approach each issue with peace of mind. Important question #2: “What will happen if I do that?” Just by asking yourself this question, you redirect your fear into curiosity.
  12. 12. Once you have asked yourself these questions and thought about the answers, the best advice I can give you is to finally START DOING THE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU. You can’t count on your fear disappearing in a matter of seconds or maybe even hours, but every single time you do the thing that scares you, the fear will be diminished. Remember, once you have started your journey towards change, the only things that separate those who succeed and those who do not are perseverance and determination. DO NOT QUIT. Be patient, for it is a journey, but never, ever give up. You may fall, but you must stand back up every time, brush yourself off, learn a lesson, take notes and keep going—it is the only way to win! The same applies to meeting men and women, making new friends, traveling on your own, partying, starting businesses, etc. You have to notice and disassemble your fear, and then act apart from the fact you can still feel the fear.
  13. 13. Learning Consultant Entrepreneur Soft Skills Trainer Prime Areas: Leadership & Management, Cross Cultural communication, Presentation, Team building, Campus to Corporate, time management. Customer Service, He brings with him 12+ years of experience from Infosys, where he was employed as operations manager. He possesses an energetic personality and is quite popular amongst participants. Proven track record in achieving results and positively impacting business issues via people skills and partnership with executive levels.  Post graduate in CRM  BSc Graduate  Diploma in Software Engineering  Six Sigma Green Belt Certified  Mortgage certification, USA  Insurance certification, USA Ability to quickly connect & build rapport with participants across all ages. Leveraging internationally proven methodologies to design, develop & deliver successful programs Average rating of 4.75 on all workshops/trainings delivered. Interactive, fun & engaging activities, role plays, group discussion to improve learning & retention. During his corporate stint he embarked on different assignments including Operations, training, recruitment, quality, automation, Call center & MIS.  Founder – Digital Vantage  Co-founder - d’Code  Operations Manager - Infosys Qualifications/Certifications Work Experience Ismail is a passionate change agent with more than 14+ years of global experience in training & organizational development arenas. He has delivered several programs at top MNC across India. He has handled training assignments across the spectrum of key industries from lower level to managerial level. Recent assignments were for  Foremost German based bank  Key analytics company  ITES Company  Prominent online fashion store  MNC FMCG Company Ismail Chalil

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