3. FACT: ABUSE CAN COME IN MANY
FORMS, SUCH AS SEXUAL, PHYSICAL,
VERBAL, AND EMOTIONAL. WHEN A
PERSON REPEATEDLY SCARES, HURTS,
OR PUTS DOWN THE OTHER PERSON, IT IS
ABUSE. IT INCLUDES HARASSMENT,
INTIMIDATION, STALKING, FORCED
ISOLATION, HUMILIATION, THREATS OF
HARMING YOU, YOUR FAMILY, PETS OR
THEMSELVES, INVASION OF PRIVACY,
OR LIMITING FINANCIAL RESOURCES.
MYTH: If you are
not physically
injured, it is not
abuse

4. FACT: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS ABOUT
DOMINANCE AND CONTROL. MOST
BATTERERS DO NOT HAVE ANGER
MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS. FOR EXAMPLE,
THEY DO NOT BEAT UP THEIR BOSS OR CO-WORKERS
WHEN THEY ARE UPSET. MOST
BATTERERS DO, HOWEVER, HAVE BELIEFS
CONSISTENT WITH ENTITLEMENT.
ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS IS NOT AN
APPROPRIATE INTERVENTION FOR
BATTERERS.
MYTH: Batterers
are abusive
because they
cannot control
themselves &
have anger
management
issues.

5. MYTH: Abuse
happens when a
woman pushes a
man’s buttons.
Women are
responsible, too.
FACT: NO ONE CAN MAKE ANYONE
CHOOSE ABUSE OR VIOLENCE. VIOLENT
EPISODES ARE NEVER RATIONAL OR
REASONABLE. VIOLENCE IS A BEHAVIORAL
CHOICE, MADE BY ONE PARTNER TO
CONTROL THE OTHER. SOME PEOPLE MAY
TRY TO FIGHT BACK OR DEFEND
THEMSELVES, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN
THEY ‘ARE AS BAD AS THE ABUSER.’
ABUSE INCLUDES INTIMIDATION,
MANIPULATION, VERBAL, EMOTIONAL,
MENTAL AND FINANCIAL ABUSE AND
SOMETIMES SEXUAL ASSAULT. IT IS NOT AN
INSTINCT OR REACTION.

6. FACT: DOMESTIC ABUSE IS A PUBLIC MATTER
BECAUSE IT’S A CRIME, JUST LIKE ASSAULTING A
STRANGER IS A CRIME. EVERY YEAR, 1 IN 3
FEMALE HOMICIDE VICTIMS IS MURDERED BY
HER CURRENT OR FORMER PARTNER.
IT’S A PUBLIC MATTER BECAUSE 1/2 OF ALL
HOMELESS WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THE U.S.
ARE FLEEING FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
IT’S A PUBLIC ISSUE BECAUSE EVERY YEAR,
VICTIMS LOSE ALMOST 8 MILLION PAID WORK
DAYS DUE TO ABUSE.
PEOPLE EXPERIENCING DOMESTIC ABUSE VERY
RARELY EXAGGERATE; RATHER THEY MINIMIZE
AND UNDER-REPORT THE EXTENT OF THE ABUSE.
MYTH: Domestic
abuse is really a
private matter.
Every couple
goes through
things. They’ll
work it out on
their own.

7. FACT: BATTERING HAPPENS IN DATING
RELATIONSHIPS, TOO! LAST YEAR IN
MICHIGAN, POLICE RESPONDED TO
21,500 CASES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
WITH NON-RESIDENT COUPLES AND
11,120 EX-DATING COUPLES
COMPARED TO 10,700 MARRIED
COUPLES!
EX-SPOUSES MADE UP 2,280 CASES.
MYTH: Domestic
abuse only
happens to
married or
cohabitating
couples
FACT: FEMALES BETWEEN THE
AGES OF 16 AND 24 ARE
ROUGHLY 3 TIMES MORE LIKELY
THAN THE REST OF THE
POPULATION TO BE ABUSED BY
AN INTIMATE PARTNER.
ONLY 33% OF TEENS WHO WERE
IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
EVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THE
ABUSE.

8. FACT: ANY WOMAN WHO CONSIDERS
LEAVING HER ABUSER FACES RISKS. 65%
OF BATTERED WOMEN WHO ARE KILLED
ARE MURDERED BY THEIR ABUSERS
WHEN—OR AFTER—THEY LEAVE.
A VICTIM SHOULD DEVELOP A SAFETY
PLAN BEFORE BREAKING UP WITH AN
ABUSIVE PARTNER. THE BEST WAY TO
SUPPORT IS TO GATHER RESOURCES,
DOCUMENT WHAT YOU NOTICE, AFFIRM
YOUR LOVED ONE, AND LET THEM
KNOW YOU SUPPORT THEIR DECISIONS.
MYTH: It’s a
good idea to try
and convince a
friend or relative
to leave their
abusive partner
immediately.

9. FACT: AT LEAST HALF OF THE CHILDREN
OF BATTERED WOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY
OR SEXUALLY ABUSED BY THEIR
MOTHER'S ASSAILANT.
68% OF CHILDREN WITNESS THE
ASSAULTS; MORE THAN 90 % KNOW
ABOUT THE ASSAULTS.
60% OF THE BOYS WHO WITNESS
DOMESTIC ABUSE, BECOME BATTERERS.
MYTH: He’s a
good dad so she
should stay for
the sake of the
kids.

10. FACT: EVERY YEAR IN THE U.S., ABOUT 3.2
MILLION MEN ARE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC
ABUSE. MEN CAN BE ABUSED BY WOMEN
OR THEIR HOMOSEXUAL PARTNERS, BUT
BEING ABUSED DOES NOT MEAN HE IS
WEAK. ABUSED MEN OFTEN CHOOSE NOT
USE THEIR SIZE OR STRENGTH TO HURT THEIR
ABUSIVE PARTNERS.
WOMEN WHO ABUSE DO SO FOR THE SAME
REASONS AS MEN, USING PHYSICAL,
VERBAL, EMOTIONAL. OR FINANCIAL
ABUSE, AS WELL AS MANIPULATION OR
STALKING TO GAIN CONTROL.
MYTH: Men can’t
be abused
because women
can’t really harm
men?

11. FACT: ABUSERS DON’T LET GO EASILY.
THEY OFTEN CHARM, PLEAD, PROMISE
TO CHANGE OR STALK, THREATEN,
KIDNAP OR HARM.
WOMEN ARE IN GREATER DANGER
WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO LEAVE.
HOMICIDES OFTEN HAPPEN AFTER THE
WOMAN HAS LEFT.
70% OF ALL VIOLENCE OCCURS AFTER
THE WOMAN LEAVES.
MYTH: If she
really wanted to,
she would leave.
There’s no point
in helping
because she’s
just going to go
back
FACT: LEAVING AN ABUSER
CAN MEAN LEAVING A JOB,
PETS OR BELONGINGS AND
TAKING KIDS FROM THEIR DAD
AND SCHOOL.
LACK OF ALTERNATIVE
HOUSING OFTEN LEADS
WOMEN TO STAY OR RETURN.
74% OF FEMALE VICTIMS
STAYED WITH AN ABUSER FOR
ECONOMIC REASONS.

12. MYTH: There’s
nothing we can
do to stop
domestic abuse
FACT: YOU JUST DID! YOUR DONATION
HELPS PROVIDE SUPPORT FOR VICTIMS
WHO CHOSE TO LEAVE ABUSIVE
RELATIONSHIPS.
CONTINUE TO SUPPORT GREAT
ORGANIZATIONS LIKE HOPELINE FROM
VERIZON, HANDBAGS OF HOPE, AND
THE YWCA.
PICK UP RESOURCES TO SHARE & VISIT
WWW.APUREMOVEMENT.COM TO
LEARN ABOUT RESOURCES FOR
SURVIVORS