LDP_Emotional Intelligence Why it Matters

Yes, I think I have good people skills,
What kind of idiot question is that?
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October 22, 2015 Page 1
Emotional Intelligence – Why it Matters
Presented at the LDP Meeting
by John Henriquez
October 22, 2015

Recommendations
What Leadership is Not…
Introduction to Emotional Intelligence
Personal Growth
Finding our Blind Spots
Agenda
Personal Story
Summary
Note: the cartoons used in this presentation have been purchased and are being used with the permission of the artist(s)

Attempting to Lead can be dangerous
Do you want to be a Leader?
Either lead, follow or get out of the way —
But never try to do all three at the same time
What is your motivation?

What is your Motivation?
Are you ready?
“No one ever teaches well who wants to teach, or governs well who wants to govern” - Plato
Why do you want to be a Leader?
1)Because of Power or Ego?
2)Just for the Money?
3)or for Personal Growth?
 for the benefit of yourself, others
and the company?
So, are you ready to Lead?
Question: do you have a strong inner striving to be a Leader?
 If yes, you are probably not ready
 You will likely leave a path of destruction

Leadership is not…
Leadership is not a “___________”
If we want to succeed as a team, we need to put
aside our own selfish, individual interests and
start doing things my way
Dictatorship

Leadership is not…
Leadership is not about being the one with all the “________”
I’m not lacking leadership skills.
Everyone else is lacking followship skills!
Answers

Introduction to Emotional Intelligence
IQ EQ
Personality
Emotional intelligence is an
important facet of each of us
Recent studies show that Emotional Intelligence is…
an essential component of all good leaders
Five Components of EI:
1) Self Awareness
2) Self Regulation
3) Motivation
4) Empathy
5) Social Skill

Five Components of Emotional Intelligence
via Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence”
Definition Hallmarks
Self-Awareness
• The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions
and drives as well as their effect on others
• Self-confidence
• Realistic self-assessment
• Self-deprecating sense of humor
Self-Regulation
• The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods
• The propensity to suspend judgment – to think before acting
• Trustworthiness & integrity
• Comfort with ambiguity
• Openness to change
Motivation
• A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money or status
• A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence
• Strong drive to achieve
• Optimism, even in the face of failure
• Organizational commitment
Empathy
• The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people
• Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions
• Expertise in building & retaining talent
• Cross-cultural sensitivity
• Service to clients and customers
Social Skill
• Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks
• An ability to find common ground and build rapport
• Effectiveness in leading change
• Persuasiveness
• Expertise in building & leading teams
Emotional Intelligence is not fixed, it can be Learned
This is good news for a lot of us

Consequences  Lack of EI
This is unfortunate but often true
Many companies promote highly technical individuals BUT who lack important EI skills
Managers who lack EI can
create…
Poor employee morale
High employee turnover
Reduced employee output
A negative work environment How come you never bring me any of your
stupid ideas anymore?
You take 30 minutes for lunch and you go home
at 5:00 every afternoon. At this rate, you’re going
to use up all of your vacation time!
Well, if he really can’t get along with
his co-workers, you’re just going to
have to promote him.

Personal Growth: Step 1
Understanding Our Strengths & Weaknesses:
Take a Basic Personality Test (DiSC)
Get input from others (360 reviews, mentors)
“Know Thyself ” – Plato
We all have areas to improve & grow

Obstacles to finding our Blind Spots:
Insecurity
Egotism
Benefits of a Mentor / Personal Coach:
Everyone needs someone who can be honest
with us
Everyone needs someone to encourage us
and show us what we are doing right
Personal Growth: Step 2
Identifying our Blind Spots:
It requires honesty
It’s good to get input from others
It can be painful
Be patience with yourself
Change doesn’t happen overnight
True personal growth requires us to identify & correct our blind spots

Personal Story
Failure can be good; it can teach us some of life’s greatest lessons
My first Project Management Lead Role (1997):
It was a disaster
I had too much inner striving
I lacked empathy & was too demanding
I was very judgmental; I didn’t understand why the
others were not as passionate about work as me
I wanted so badly for the project to succeed that I
micro-managed every detail; to the extent that I
encroached into other people’s “space”
At the end, nobody wanted to be on my team again So, if people who empower others are
called Leaders, what is the name for
those who disempower others?The Team
Before After
Micro-managers!

Personal Story, cont.
Discovering our Blind Spots is only the beginning
Real / lasting change is hard work; it involves undoing old habits & forming new ones
Discovering my Blind Spot(s)
Step 1  I found someone to talk to…
An experienced, successful Dept Store executive
I told him the story and expected him to side with me, but he didn’t
He asked me one question…how many books have you read about management?
 Answer) Uh, none
I Found a Book…“Managing from the Heart”
It was perfect for me; it addressed some of my blind spots
Hear and Understand Me  LISTEN, really listen
Even if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong  PATIENCE
Acknowledge the greatest within me  CARING
Remember to look for my loving intentions  EMPATHY
Tell me the truth with compassion  COURGAGE / COMPASSION

Summary
Emotional Intelligence:
It is Vital
It can be Learned
Be patient with yourself
Consider getting a personal Coach
Benefits of a Mentor / Personal Coach:
Everyone needs someone who can be honest
with us
Everyone needs someone to encourage us
and show us what we are doing right
It’s your attitude, nor your aptitude
that determines your altitude
Emotional Intelligence is not fixed, it can be Learned
Work on it everyday & be patient with yourself

Recommendations
Recommended Reading:
1.“How to Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (1936 Classic)
2.“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey
3.“The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” by John Maxwell
4.“Managing from the Heart” by H. Bracey, J. Rosenblum, A. Sanford & R. Trueblood
The Importance of Self-Renewal:
1.Adequate Sleep – avg person requires 7-8 hrs/night
2.Exercise – 3 to 5 times a week
3.Proper Diet – eat healthy, find out what works for you
4.Relaxation (i.e. hobby, volunteer work, meditation, etc.)
Remember – life is not a sprint; it is more like a marathon – so pace yourself
Having the proper Balance in Life is Key (i.e. Work, Family, Play, Friends )

Thank You
John Henriquez
Any Questions?

Receipts - Cartoons

Permission from Daniel Goleman

Examples of Blind Spots:
 Being insensitive - RUDE
 unaware of the impact of our words and actions on others
 Having a “Know-it-All” attitude – PRIDE
 Blaming others – Lack of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
 Avoiding difficult conversations - Lack of COURAGE
 Overly Ambitious – PRIDE / EGO
 Fear of being wrong – COWARD
 Procrastination – LAZINESS

EGO

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