Following the guidelines for Dialogue business communication will be easier and more effective. It will also aid with conflict resolution.

1. Guidelines for Dialogue
By Ada Gonzalez, Ph.D.

2. Rules of Dialogue
• Listen to each other with respect
• No cross talk. Wait until the other finishes.
• Suspend assumptions, biases, and expectations
• Share your thoughts, feelings, and opinions (personal
advocacy).
• Bring an open mind, curiosity, and humility (doesn’t
always have to be “right”)

3. Stop: Suspend, Pause, Listen

4. Suspend
✦ Suspend comes from the Latin
suspendere.
✦ Means: "to hang below."
✦ Has to do with drawing out, or
stretching.
✦ Refers to displaying our thinking in a
way that lets us and others see and
understand.

5. Suspend: Assumptions -Definition
✦ Something taken for granted or accepted
as true without proof; a supposition:
“He is a good person because. . .
(assumption)
✦ Action point: Monitor your assumptions
and make it a point to check them out.
Example: You suggest something and
the other person does not say anything.
Instead of assuming they did not like the
idea ask: what do you think?

6. • Bias is an inclination or preference
to hold a partial perspective at the
expense of a possibly equally valid
alternative.
• Prejudice refers to preconceived
judgments based on personal
characteristics of people.
• Action point: Become aware of
biases that could be coloring your
thinking.
Suspend: Biases

7. Suspend: Expectations
✦ It is NOT about stopping
expectations from occurring. Would
be impossible.
✦ It IS about developing the ability to
observe and recognize expectations
in yourself, and in others, from a
neutral position, remaining
nonreactive.
✦ Action point: When going to interact
with someone, don’t go already
expecting the worst. Wait, see, be
open, be positive.

8. Pause
Definition: To stop in order to consider; to reflect; a
moment of silence; a delay or suspended reaction.
Pauses are important. Stillness deepens awareness,
innovation, and integration.

9. Pause, Why?
• Important for learning.
• Key to new insights and breakthroughs
in thinking.
• Periods of silence and
reflection allow for more
clarity, objectivity, and
discernment.
• Create a space where listening can
occur.

10. Pause: Be silent
★ Definition:
✓ The state of being silent; the
cessation of rage, agitation, or
tumult; calmness; to put to rest;
to quiet; a period of time
without speech or noise.
There are many ways to sow the seeds. Listen and in
the quiet you will hear the direction of your heart.
~Anne LeClaire
★ Action point: Take time every day this week to be silent for 10 minutes. No media,
no distractions. Just sit in silence.

11. Pause: Think
• We tend to create our reality through our
thinking. Thinking leads to action. . . or inaction!
• Pausing helps us become aware of
of internal thought process.
• A pause can also help us witness
collective thinking and the unfolding of meaning.
• Action point: When engaged in dialogue, take
time to think and to let others think.

12. Pause: Reflect
• Reflection allows us to think about, expand,
reconsider, understand
differently, develop, and
transform our knowledge.
• Reflection in action = ability
to see what is happening as
it is happening.
• Action point: At the end of the day, spend 15
minutes reflecting on your day, and what you
can learn from your thoughts and actions.

13. Listen
Listen: To make an effort to hear something; to hear
something with thoughtful attention; to play close attention.
“It is better to listen in order to understand than to listen in
order to reply”.

14. Listen:
• To fully understand
• For common assumptions and voices
that question them
• For emerging shared meanings
• With your full attention
• With heart, ear, and eye

15. Listen: To understand
•Try to fully understand even if you do not agree
with the other’s viewpoint.
•See things from his/her perspective.
•Ask questions that will reach deeper meanings.
•Interpret correctly. Check your understanding.

16. Listen: To connect
• Listen to your heart and from the heart. The heart
forms connections. That’s how you show caring
and respect.
• When you listen from the heart, people feel your
appreciation, compassion, and empathy. These
brings connection.
• Connected people communicate more effectively
and work more efficiently.
• Action point: Make a point to listen with your
heart when people talk to you this week.

17. Listen: To appreciate
• One of the most powerful phrases in the world is:
Thank You.” When someone says or does something
positive to you, make sure you show your
appreciation.
• Action point: Listen to find something to appreciate.
Tell at least 5 people every day “thank you” for
something specific.

18. Start: Inquire, Share, Cultivate

19. Inquire
• Inquiry:
✓ opens the door for new insights and learning
✓ helps breakthrough innovation to emerge.
✓ creates doorways into new levels of
understanding.
✓ reveals relationship among parts that make
the whole
✓ is needed for effective problem solving

20. Inquire: Ask Questions
• For real learning and discovery to happen, you
have to ask questions.
• Asking questions helps you have an attitude of
curiosity and openness.
• Create questions that focus on possibilities and
spur creative thinking. Like: What if…? What
else…? Why not…?
• Questions that take us to new places: How, When,
Where, and What.
• Action Point: When interacting, ask at least 3
questions before giving your opinion.

21. Inquire - Discover
• Discovering meaning together creates trust and
develops the present.
• Finding connections among distinct and
different perspectives can give rise to creative
and innovative combinations.
• For discovery to happen you need time to
ponder the questions, to mull them over, to
reflect and consider.
• Action point: Meet with others in your group for
lunch. Question, share, discover different
perspectives and ways to improve something.

22. Inquire - Learn
• Definition (Wikipedia)
Learning is acquiring new:
✓knowledge,
✓behaviors,
✓skills,
✓values, or
✓preferences.
• Make a point to learn something new this
week. Even if it is small.

23. Share
• When you are willing to become vulnerable
and share the complexity of your thoughts,
feelings, and dreams (including
ambivalences), the dialogue is enriched.

24. Share: Thoughts
• Oftentimes it’s easier to share material resources than to share what is
inside you.
• Sharing creates connection. The more connected you are, the more effective
you will be. Connection creates positive energy and more efficiency.
• Action point: When talking to others, share what your real thoughts are.

25. Share: Feelings
Why is it important to share feelings? “Not sharing them creates barriers.” “Not
sharing them isolates you.” “Not sharing negative feelings results in augmented negative
feelings” . . . .
Action point: At least once this week, share what you feel in an appropriate way. Don’t
“bottle up.” Aim to start doing this more often.

26. Share: Dreams
➡ By Sharing dreams people can:
✦ Develop new visions of reality.
✦ Construct a viable future together
➡ Action point: Take time to share your dreams for your department
with at least one person. Then also share a personal dream.

27. Cultivate
•Open your mind to new ideas, methods, and opinions.
•Show the same curiosity you exhibited as a child.
•Flexibility will smooth the path of dialogue and
understanding.

28. Cultivate: Openness
•Openness involves active imagination, aesthetic
sensitivity, paying attention to inner feelings, preference
for variety, and intellectual curiosity.
• Action Point: Next time you are tempted to think “I’m
right, you are wrong” open your mind to other
possibilities. Ask “what if. . .”

29. Cultivate -Curiosity
• Curiosity is the desire to learn or know about anything.
A spirit of inquisitiveness.
•Action point: Remember a time when as a child you
exhibited curiosity and as a result learned something
exiting. Rekindle that type of curiosity and use it to help
you on the job.

30. Cultivate -Flexibility
According to Webster, Flexibility is:
1 : capable of being flexed: pliant
2 : yielding to influence: Tractable
3 : characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing
requirements <a flexible schedule>
Action point: For at least 1 week try to be flexible in everything possible that
does not go against your principles. Think “Why not?”

31. Sustain: Build, Embrace, Evolve

32. Build
• Trust helps make a strong “container.”
• By showing respect, even when you don’t agree,
relationships flourish and communication flows
more easily.
• Competence breeds respect, trust, and success. If
you are competent, others listen to you more.
Build a deeper and more efficient dialogue together.
Teams will work more efficiently, relationships will
be smoother, and productivity will increase.

33. Building Trust
• We learn to trust only by repeatedly and
increasingly taking personal risk and
experiencing positive outcomes.
• Interpersonal trust can be viewed as having
five components: Truth, Respect,
Understanding, Support, and
Trustworthiness.
• Action point: Brainstorm with others: What
specific action do you need to take to increase
trust in your work/department group?

34. Building Respect
• To receive respect you have to give respect.
• Action point: Think about and share a story
about a person you highly respect. Include:
✓ Your relationship to this person
✓ What characteristics of the person inspire
your respect.
✓ What characteristics you share with this
person.
• Make a point to practice every day those
characteristics that inspire respect.

35. Building Competence
• Competence is a combination of Knowledge,
skills and behaviors used to perform well.
• Competency grows through experience and
the extent that you learn and adapt.
• Action point: Which areas you feel competent
in? Where do you need more experience or
learning to be more competent? Make it a
point of development (finding a mentor,
taking a class, going to a seminar, or any other
learning activity). Start today!

36. Embrace
For dialogue to work, you need to be willing to embrace
the mutuality of the process, and the honesty it requires.
Then you can joyfully embrace the ideas and bring fun to
the process. Positivity and appreciation smooth the path to
Dialogue

37. Evolve: Accept, Grow, Transform
• If we are not evolving we are in decline.
✓ Accept where you are now
✓ Make a plan to keep growing
✓ Persevere until you get liberated
by transformation
Dialogue will transform the way you
interact with others and take you into
amazing places!

38. Question
• What is one question that if asked could
make the biggest difference in creating
more trust inside your organization?