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What kinds of assumptions is your reality based on?
1. What kinds of assumptions is your reality based on?
Sometimes it takes an upheaval – a giant storm, an earthquake – to flip that switch in our heads that
makes us see our world very differently.
After a recent storm, followed by a power outage, I met a man frantic to get the fallen tree blocking
his garage door out of the way, so he could get his kids to a motel where they could watch TV,
because he assumed they couldn’t be happy without it! If he didn’t actually sit down with them,
talk and figure out a way to play without power, he will never actually know the various ways in
which his kids can be happy – and neither will they.
The loss of power just when I was really ramping up my business left me disoriented. Rather than
moaning about it, I decided to assess my reaction to the loss of power and the subsequent sense of
helplessness, and came up with these assumptions, all of which, I am happy to say, were simply
illusions:
I can’t work on my business without lights, a computer, or a
telephone.
Potentially disastrous response: sitting down and being depressed
about inability to get anything productive done.
In fact, I started to clean my files and found important information,
including lists of potential clients, that I had forgotten I had. This
information set me off on a new, and productive, path.
When the power was on, I was always too busy to go into these old
files.
Since I can’t email, phone, or even open my garage door and get
my car out, how can I meet new prospective clients?
Potentially disastrous response: …being depressed about inability to
connect with people.
I took a walk in the park to survey the tree damage and met a new
neighbor who walked with me. We had a long walk and conversation in which we shared mutual
interests; at the end, she took out her I-phone and put herself on the list for my ezine.
The storm and its damage forced me to take that leisurely walk. Slowing down and paying attention
to what is right in your neighborhood is an eye opener.
With no stove and the food in the refrigerator rapidly deteriorating, how am I going to eat?
Restaurants that I normally go to were far away – which brought up the no-power garage
door situation again.
Potentially disastrous response: Aaarrrggghh!
Now, I could probably live off my stored fat for at least a few days, so I wasn’t in danger of
starvation, but I found on the first day that there were several small restaurants in my neighborhood
(that I had, once again, never noticed) with – wonder of wonders -their own generators! They
served up delicious meals, and now I have a whole new repertory of places to go to when I am
hurried, hungry, and wanting good nutrition.
2. Oh, no, the phone on which my business depends has gone out – again – and I will have to go
through the telephone company’s tree of options to even speak to a live person.
Potentially disastrous response: Running in small circles, accompanied by a high-pitched shriek.
Well, I did to through their tree of options once, but then I connected with the repairman for my
area, who actually gave me his cell phone number so I could call him directly any time I have a
problem with my line.
Life is better than I imagined when all of these events first struck.
Now, the aftermath of the storm almost feels like a little vacation, on which I could regain some
good sense after a flurry of overwork.
Wouldn’t it be nice it we could all turn off the power in our heads, stop yearning for something
somewhere else, and be so relaxed that we noticed what was right under our noses all the time?
As Dorothy Gale said, in the Wizard of OZ, “If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, l
won’t look any further than my own backyard, because if it isn’t there I never really lost it to begin
with.”
Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach,is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer,
and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress management. She currently
works to provide stress and time pressure solutions to harried women, those women who seek
"Islands of Peace" in their overly-busy lives. Her talks to groups of what she calls "harried women"
are receiving rave reviews. Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-
depth articles and to view her programs.