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Stewart1
Maegan Stewart November 1st, 2015
Break the Guy Code – Change the World
When it comes to academics, students have been taught their whole lives to break down
material and develop a deeper understanding for whatever they may be studying; whether it be a
language arts class, psychology, or even physics. We find the themes in classic novels, and begin
to understand what goes on in the mind of someone diagnosed with schizophrenia; however,
critical thinking is often left inside the classroom. We go about our lives normally without really
questioning the things around us, believing things just are the way they are. We don’t question,
we just “are”.
These So-Called “Guy Codes”
In this class, Breaking the Guy Code, we focus on deconstructing guy codes and view
how much of an impact they have on the world around us. Now, you’re probably thinking “What
are guy codes?” - I know we all were before the semester started. The ‘Man Box’ is one guy
code that has been extremely relevant in our society for quite some time, and continues to keep
its impact. Basically, the man box includes a list of characteristics that determine what it means
to be ‘manly’ or ‘masculine’ (Porter). It’s the typical man you see in TV shows and movies:
strong, fearless, attractive, heterosexual, sexually active, independent, and in control; it’s your
typical ‘tough guy’. Tony Porter explains the difficulties of differing from this manly man
persona, also known as hegemonic masculinity (Newman, 69 cited in Legassic, Weeks 1-3).
Name calling, isolation, and being physically harmed are only some of the consequences men
feel from not fitting into this mould, leading to many emotionally or physically damaged men,
and even leading many men to monitor their behaviour to be able to fit into the narrow box that
society says they should fit into.
Other codes that we focus on in the class are gender and sex. Sam Killerman does a great
job of providing a simple look into gender, sex, and attraction through his use of the
“Genderbread Person” (72). To sum up the Genderbread Person, one’s gender identity, gender
expression, biological sex, and sexual orientation (sexual and romantic) are all on scales. Sam
explains that life is not as binary, or “black and white”, as we believe it to be. For example, the
way someone presents themselves may be considered very feminine and only slightly masculine,
but they identify as 100% male. To put simply, life is a lot more complicated than we assume it
to be. We place labels on everything and are told not to question, and if someone’s label does not
accurately describe who they are or their situation, then they are considered to be the problem -
rather than the system being faulty.
Stewart2
Let’s Think Critically!
Now why is it important to learn about these guy codes? How does this help one develop
critical thinking skills? For starters, learning these codes presents the idea that life is not as it
seems, and that we have been taught to be a certain way throughout our entire lives - either
directly or indirectly. Once you realize this, you begin to look at everything around you more
objectively, and begin to think for yourself rather than blindly follow those around you. Change
will not occur with the same thinking from everyone, and humankind will not progress without
change. Right now, and for thousands and thousands of years prior to this moment right here, we
live in a patriarchal society where fitting in the man box mentioned previously is what is needed
in order to have the greatest opportunity for achieving your goals; leaving women, gays, people
of color, and trans* people alike a step behind in the race to the top (Penny, 7). Through critical
thinking, we begin to see life deeper than just at surface level; and with this, we can begin to
change the world, one step at a time.
That Nasty F-Word
No, I’m not talking about the word that young children hear on the school bus and go
home asking what it means – I’m talking about feminism. Laurie Penny, author of “Unspeakable
Things: Sex, Lies and Revolution”, does great job of describing modern feminism in her book,
and contrasts it to the feminism that is portrayed in the media. She states “The feminism that has
mattered to the media and made magazine headlines in recent years has been the feminism most
useful to heterosexual, high-earning middle- and upper-middle-class white women” (5). She
describes the “career woman” that feminism has been trying to achieve – a beautiful,
independent, and controlling woman with a high paying job; a woman who is almost always
white. Rather than agreeing with media feminism and trying to push young girls to set their goals
as this career woman, Penny focuses on obtaining equity for everyone (22). She does not tell
women or other minorities how to act, but rather emphasizes that we should be able to decide for
ourselves (20).
In her chapter “Fucked-Up Girls”, Laurie Penny talks about her personal struggle with
anorexia, and how the strict box – also known as emphasized femininity, hegemonic
masculinity’s sister - that women are told to fit into leads to destruction. “Of all the female sins,”
she begins, “hunger is the least forgivable; hunger for anything, for food, sex, power, education,
even love” (31). She goes on further to discuss the idea that girls are meant, in our society, to be
desired rather than to have desires. Beautiful is the most important thing a woman can be; her
most important contribution to the world. We put on makeup and dress a certain way to get
attention from men; to earn their love. Beauty will lead to love, to a better shot of getting that
promotion you’re hoping for at work, to happiness. Being seen as needy, sexually available, or
power seeking makes us less desirable; thus backfiring on us from the start. It’s a double
standard. If a woman is sexually active with more than one man, she’s seen as ‘easy’ and a ‘slut’,
Stewart3
while if a man is, then he’s seen as some sort of ‘god’ and is thus even more desirable. If a
woman acts aggressively, then she is called ‘bitchy’ – yet a man is seen as independent and
strong. What works in favor for men, does the opposite for women; thus leading us to become
objects of desire in order to get what we want – whatever that may be (25-58). “Women who are
not attractive, young and able-bodied often speak of feeling ‘invisible’ – as if they don’t exist”
(44). How sad is it that to be able to be considered ‘enough’, women have to fit into society’s
narrow standards of beauty; to have your worth be determined by the size of your jeans, or the
perkiness of your breasts?
Penny uses a lot of sarcasm in her writing, and sounds quite frustrated throughout; and
rightfully so. The topics she discusses, from beauty standards, to how minorities don’t have the
same opportunities as men or beautiful white women in the workforce, to how women are
expected to act submissive in the bedroom, don’t leave much room for people that don’t fit into
the mould. In the introduction, she states “This is not a fairy tale” (1). She makes it very clear
right from the beginning that she is extremely passionate about feminism, and that she will be
talking about controversial topics. She is being controversial because she believes that is the way
to truly achieve change. Submission will not drive the world forward, but dominance will (1-24).
Who IS Laurie Penny?
Laurie Penny’s expertise comes from not only being a woman herself, but “she is
Contributing Editor of New Statesman magazine and Editor-at-Large at The New Inquiry”
(laurie-penny.com/about/). She is a feminist, activist, public speaker, and writer, among many
other things. Not only has she studied in relevant areas that relate to the book such as feminism,
but she has also experienced being a minority in a patriarchal society first hand. Finally, for her
book “Unspeakable Things”, she traveled to foreign cities, interviewed sex workers, radical
feminists, and people of other minorities in order to get a better understanding of what she would
be talking about, in hopes of eliminating some of her own bias (Penny, 4).
Unfortunately, Laurie Penny tends to be quite repetitive throughout the book. Many of
her ideas, such as beauty as the most important quality for women in our society, are found
throughout every chapter. She also tends to be a bit disorganized in her ideas, making it a bit
hard to follow. Everything she talks about relates, but it’s hard to tell exactly what she is talking
about. Part of this may be due to the tone she uses, and part may be due to rambling, but
nonetheless it is quite distracting when trying to take ideas away from what she is saying.
Between this and the fact that there are only 5 very large chapters, I wouldn’t necessarily
recommend her book as a required reading for a class, but more for anyone that identifies as a
feminist and wants to learn more about a cause they already support.
Stewart4
What to Take Away!
Scenario time: I have two hours to share with you what I believe to be the most important
thing to take away from everything that we’ve been talking about. There’s so much information
that I didn’t even begin to unfold, because if I explained everything in the detail it deserves to,
we would be here forever. In short, it’s all important. Equity is important, treating others well is
important, and human happiness is important. Neoliberalism comes in and challenges equity,
how we treat people, and ultimately happiness. So if you’re to take one thing from all of this,
which ties everything together, it’s that capitalism and neoliberalism are what make our world go
round.
In her introduction, Laurie Penny states “neoliberalism proclaims that the logic of
business and money is the best determinant of human happiness” (2). It talks about the market,
how it is the driving force of a society, and that everything is marketable - including people. It’s
all about branding when it comes to a capitalist society. It sees success as how much money you
have; as ‘having it all’ or ‘the American Dream’. Going back to the idea of the ‘career woman’
that Penny talks about throughout her book, this is the ideal woman as far as neoliberalism is
concerned. She lives to increase her ‘erotic capital’ (3), and everything she does is an attempt to
get a higher status and ‘have it all’. This career woman is an ideal; a goal for women to look up
to and try and achieve themselves. However, this career woman is not real. People are complex,
and nobody is an exact replica of another. If a woman trying to be this ideal does not measure up,
which nobody will completely, she will often feel not good enough, like she has failed. But
women that ‘don’t measure up’ are not the problem, neoliberalism is. It convinces us that
happiness is a cosmetic surgery, promotion, or makeover away. It tells us that if we increase our
erotic capital enough, that we will be enough; all while destroying self esteem in the process(1-
24).
Not only does neoliberalism hurt women, but men are affected as well. In a capitalist
society, there is little room at the top and plenty of room further below. When people do not
reach their goals, they tend to feel as though they are not good enough; this applies to women
and men alike. However, while women are praised for achieving economic success, it is
expected from men. When men don’t measure up to these almost impossible standards, they drift
away from the man box because they are not seen as powerful, strong, or independent. They are
seen as losers; and women, who reinforce the man box by going after men that fit in it more than
not, do not want a loser as a lover. Neoliberalism sets men up for failure where money, work,
and love are concerned (70-71). Ultimately, the idea that the market should be the driving force
of a society, and money the ultimate object of desire, takes away from human happiness. Instead
of treating each other as equals, we are in constant competition and tearing each other down.
Women will call each other ‘sluts’ and ‘bitches’ if they feel threatened, and men are at a race to
an almost unattainable ‘top’. We are constantly told we are not enough, and reinforced by those
around us. The society we live in bombards us with this idea, and because everyone blindly
Stewart5
follows and put their lives in the hands of capitalism, we end up in a cycle of shame, bitterness,
and sadness.
This is why we need critical thinking. If people were to educate themselves in different
areas that are usually not focused on, such as the true goals of feminism or guy codes, then they
would develop the ability to see the world differently. It’s amazing how a small step in one
direction is actually a larger one than imagined; how learning something that seems so simple
could ultimately lead to more human happiness; true human happiness. As Laurie Penny said,
“we have the tools to build a better world in the wreck of the old one.” (241)
Works Cited
“About.” Penny Red: The Work of Laurie Penny. Web. 1 November 2015.
Killermann, Sam. The Social Justice Advocate’s Handbook: A GUIDE TO GENDER. Austin,
TV: Impetus, 2013. Print.
Legassic, C. “Weeks 1-3”. Breaking the Guy Code. Retrieved from Dawson LEA. Web.
Penny, Laurie. Unspeakable Things: Sex, Lies and Revolution. 2014. Print.
Youtube. “Tony Porter: A Call to Men”. Online Video Clip. Youtube, 10 December 2010. Web.
1 November 2015.

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Final Book Review

  • 1. Stewart1 Maegan Stewart November 1st, 2015 Break the Guy Code – Change the World When it comes to academics, students have been taught their whole lives to break down material and develop a deeper understanding for whatever they may be studying; whether it be a language arts class, psychology, or even physics. We find the themes in classic novels, and begin to understand what goes on in the mind of someone diagnosed with schizophrenia; however, critical thinking is often left inside the classroom. We go about our lives normally without really questioning the things around us, believing things just are the way they are. We don’t question, we just “are”. These So-Called “Guy Codes” In this class, Breaking the Guy Code, we focus on deconstructing guy codes and view how much of an impact they have on the world around us. Now, you’re probably thinking “What are guy codes?” - I know we all were before the semester started. The ‘Man Box’ is one guy code that has been extremely relevant in our society for quite some time, and continues to keep its impact. Basically, the man box includes a list of characteristics that determine what it means to be ‘manly’ or ‘masculine’ (Porter). It’s the typical man you see in TV shows and movies: strong, fearless, attractive, heterosexual, sexually active, independent, and in control; it’s your typical ‘tough guy’. Tony Porter explains the difficulties of differing from this manly man persona, also known as hegemonic masculinity (Newman, 69 cited in Legassic, Weeks 1-3). Name calling, isolation, and being physically harmed are only some of the consequences men feel from not fitting into this mould, leading to many emotionally or physically damaged men, and even leading many men to monitor their behaviour to be able to fit into the narrow box that society says they should fit into. Other codes that we focus on in the class are gender and sex. Sam Killerman does a great job of providing a simple look into gender, sex, and attraction through his use of the “Genderbread Person” (72). To sum up the Genderbread Person, one’s gender identity, gender expression, biological sex, and sexual orientation (sexual and romantic) are all on scales. Sam explains that life is not as binary, or “black and white”, as we believe it to be. For example, the way someone presents themselves may be considered very feminine and only slightly masculine, but they identify as 100% male. To put simply, life is a lot more complicated than we assume it to be. We place labels on everything and are told not to question, and if someone’s label does not accurately describe who they are or their situation, then they are considered to be the problem - rather than the system being faulty.
  • 2. Stewart2 Let’s Think Critically! Now why is it important to learn about these guy codes? How does this help one develop critical thinking skills? For starters, learning these codes presents the idea that life is not as it seems, and that we have been taught to be a certain way throughout our entire lives - either directly or indirectly. Once you realize this, you begin to look at everything around you more objectively, and begin to think for yourself rather than blindly follow those around you. Change will not occur with the same thinking from everyone, and humankind will not progress without change. Right now, and for thousands and thousands of years prior to this moment right here, we live in a patriarchal society where fitting in the man box mentioned previously is what is needed in order to have the greatest opportunity for achieving your goals; leaving women, gays, people of color, and trans* people alike a step behind in the race to the top (Penny, 7). Through critical thinking, we begin to see life deeper than just at surface level; and with this, we can begin to change the world, one step at a time. That Nasty F-Word No, I’m not talking about the word that young children hear on the school bus and go home asking what it means – I’m talking about feminism. Laurie Penny, author of “Unspeakable Things: Sex, Lies and Revolution”, does great job of describing modern feminism in her book, and contrasts it to the feminism that is portrayed in the media. She states “The feminism that has mattered to the media and made magazine headlines in recent years has been the feminism most useful to heterosexual, high-earning middle- and upper-middle-class white women” (5). She describes the “career woman” that feminism has been trying to achieve – a beautiful, independent, and controlling woman with a high paying job; a woman who is almost always white. Rather than agreeing with media feminism and trying to push young girls to set their goals as this career woman, Penny focuses on obtaining equity for everyone (22). She does not tell women or other minorities how to act, but rather emphasizes that we should be able to decide for ourselves (20). In her chapter “Fucked-Up Girls”, Laurie Penny talks about her personal struggle with anorexia, and how the strict box – also known as emphasized femininity, hegemonic masculinity’s sister - that women are told to fit into leads to destruction. “Of all the female sins,” she begins, “hunger is the least forgivable; hunger for anything, for food, sex, power, education, even love” (31). She goes on further to discuss the idea that girls are meant, in our society, to be desired rather than to have desires. Beautiful is the most important thing a woman can be; her most important contribution to the world. We put on makeup and dress a certain way to get attention from men; to earn their love. Beauty will lead to love, to a better shot of getting that promotion you’re hoping for at work, to happiness. Being seen as needy, sexually available, or power seeking makes us less desirable; thus backfiring on us from the start. It’s a double standard. If a woman is sexually active with more than one man, she’s seen as ‘easy’ and a ‘slut’,
  • 3. Stewart3 while if a man is, then he’s seen as some sort of ‘god’ and is thus even more desirable. If a woman acts aggressively, then she is called ‘bitchy’ – yet a man is seen as independent and strong. What works in favor for men, does the opposite for women; thus leading us to become objects of desire in order to get what we want – whatever that may be (25-58). “Women who are not attractive, young and able-bodied often speak of feeling ‘invisible’ – as if they don’t exist” (44). How sad is it that to be able to be considered ‘enough’, women have to fit into society’s narrow standards of beauty; to have your worth be determined by the size of your jeans, or the perkiness of your breasts? Penny uses a lot of sarcasm in her writing, and sounds quite frustrated throughout; and rightfully so. The topics she discusses, from beauty standards, to how minorities don’t have the same opportunities as men or beautiful white women in the workforce, to how women are expected to act submissive in the bedroom, don’t leave much room for people that don’t fit into the mould. In the introduction, she states “This is not a fairy tale” (1). She makes it very clear right from the beginning that she is extremely passionate about feminism, and that she will be talking about controversial topics. She is being controversial because she believes that is the way to truly achieve change. Submission will not drive the world forward, but dominance will (1-24). Who IS Laurie Penny? Laurie Penny’s expertise comes from not only being a woman herself, but “she is Contributing Editor of New Statesman magazine and Editor-at-Large at The New Inquiry” (laurie-penny.com/about/). She is a feminist, activist, public speaker, and writer, among many other things. Not only has she studied in relevant areas that relate to the book such as feminism, but she has also experienced being a minority in a patriarchal society first hand. Finally, for her book “Unspeakable Things”, she traveled to foreign cities, interviewed sex workers, radical feminists, and people of other minorities in order to get a better understanding of what she would be talking about, in hopes of eliminating some of her own bias (Penny, 4). Unfortunately, Laurie Penny tends to be quite repetitive throughout the book. Many of her ideas, such as beauty as the most important quality for women in our society, are found throughout every chapter. She also tends to be a bit disorganized in her ideas, making it a bit hard to follow. Everything she talks about relates, but it’s hard to tell exactly what she is talking about. Part of this may be due to the tone she uses, and part may be due to rambling, but nonetheless it is quite distracting when trying to take ideas away from what she is saying. Between this and the fact that there are only 5 very large chapters, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend her book as a required reading for a class, but more for anyone that identifies as a feminist and wants to learn more about a cause they already support.
  • 4. Stewart4 What to Take Away! Scenario time: I have two hours to share with you what I believe to be the most important thing to take away from everything that we’ve been talking about. There’s so much information that I didn’t even begin to unfold, because if I explained everything in the detail it deserves to, we would be here forever. In short, it’s all important. Equity is important, treating others well is important, and human happiness is important. Neoliberalism comes in and challenges equity, how we treat people, and ultimately happiness. So if you’re to take one thing from all of this, which ties everything together, it’s that capitalism and neoliberalism are what make our world go round. In her introduction, Laurie Penny states “neoliberalism proclaims that the logic of business and money is the best determinant of human happiness” (2). It talks about the market, how it is the driving force of a society, and that everything is marketable - including people. It’s all about branding when it comes to a capitalist society. It sees success as how much money you have; as ‘having it all’ or ‘the American Dream’. Going back to the idea of the ‘career woman’ that Penny talks about throughout her book, this is the ideal woman as far as neoliberalism is concerned. She lives to increase her ‘erotic capital’ (3), and everything she does is an attempt to get a higher status and ‘have it all’. This career woman is an ideal; a goal for women to look up to and try and achieve themselves. However, this career woman is not real. People are complex, and nobody is an exact replica of another. If a woman trying to be this ideal does not measure up, which nobody will completely, she will often feel not good enough, like she has failed. But women that ‘don’t measure up’ are not the problem, neoliberalism is. It convinces us that happiness is a cosmetic surgery, promotion, or makeover away. It tells us that if we increase our erotic capital enough, that we will be enough; all while destroying self esteem in the process(1- 24). Not only does neoliberalism hurt women, but men are affected as well. In a capitalist society, there is little room at the top and plenty of room further below. When people do not reach their goals, they tend to feel as though they are not good enough; this applies to women and men alike. However, while women are praised for achieving economic success, it is expected from men. When men don’t measure up to these almost impossible standards, they drift away from the man box because they are not seen as powerful, strong, or independent. They are seen as losers; and women, who reinforce the man box by going after men that fit in it more than not, do not want a loser as a lover. Neoliberalism sets men up for failure where money, work, and love are concerned (70-71). Ultimately, the idea that the market should be the driving force of a society, and money the ultimate object of desire, takes away from human happiness. Instead of treating each other as equals, we are in constant competition and tearing each other down. Women will call each other ‘sluts’ and ‘bitches’ if they feel threatened, and men are at a race to an almost unattainable ‘top’. We are constantly told we are not enough, and reinforced by those around us. The society we live in bombards us with this idea, and because everyone blindly
  • 5. Stewart5 follows and put their lives in the hands of capitalism, we end up in a cycle of shame, bitterness, and sadness. This is why we need critical thinking. If people were to educate themselves in different areas that are usually not focused on, such as the true goals of feminism or guy codes, then they would develop the ability to see the world differently. It’s amazing how a small step in one direction is actually a larger one than imagined; how learning something that seems so simple could ultimately lead to more human happiness; true human happiness. As Laurie Penny said, “we have the tools to build a better world in the wreck of the old one.” (241) Works Cited “About.” Penny Red: The Work of Laurie Penny. Web. 1 November 2015. Killermann, Sam. The Social Justice Advocate’s Handbook: A GUIDE TO GENDER. Austin, TV: Impetus, 2013. Print. Legassic, C. “Weeks 1-3”. Breaking the Guy Code. Retrieved from Dawson LEA. Web. Penny, Laurie. Unspeakable Things: Sex, Lies and Revolution. 2014. Print. Youtube. “Tony Porter: A Call to Men”. Online Video Clip. Youtube, 10 December 2010. Web. 1 November 2015.