This article seeks to participate in addressing the Paradox of Gender Equality which has become a real problem, especially in the marital life of the Developing Africa

1. Gender Equality: A Misconceived Reality
By Mutokya Joseph (February 2011)
Is a Man equal to a Woman? Absolutely YES, even the Orthodox Church [the Church of my
Faith] attests. The difference between this understanding and that of today’s Equality
Conception, however, lies in the fact that the contemporary world looks to suggest that “a
WOMAN can [and certainly should]” be a MAN, a concept which is completely contrary to
God’s will. The Church as well as the general society, have since time immemorial held that
‘a man’ is the head of the family. To date, even the majority of the women [especially here in
Africa] subscribe to this attitude; although there are some, to whom this is an ‘insult’. How
then should we address this seemingly challenging paradox?
For purposes of illustration, let us use the human body. The Church completely holds that a
man should be the ‘Head’ of the family. We however acknowledge the importance of all the
other parts of the body. While the Head is the ‘mastermind’ of all the human body, it would
be extra perturbed if the body’s hand, leg or any other part is ‘cut off’ or nonfunctional. In a
quite similar, [though admittedly complex] deduction, the head would surely be useless to the
whole body, if the ‘Neck’ is removed. Thus while a man is held as the ‘head,’ a woman is
better-fitting to be held as the Neck. This is not to minimize, degrade, or undermine the
woman, for surely the Neck is absolutely equal to the Head---in importance. A head can
never look where it wants, unless the neck takes it there. If the neck aches, and therefore finds
difficulties in changing direction with ease, so the head shall suffer, while the reverse is true.
The same way, and as many people attest, the man’s public appearance in strength, integrity,
responsibility & general behavior, is usually enough to tell the kind of woman he has at
home. A responsible and development minded woman will as a must nurture her husband in
that direction, while the reverse is true. The above foregoing points to the undoubted fact that
in the absence of his wife, a man is most likely to be nonfunctional; yet in the same way that
a neck will be useless without the head, a woman would require her head [the husband in this
case] to fully perform his role, which is depicted in the masculine purpose. Thus the TWO
ARE SURELY EQUAL. This is absolutely true, for even scripture says, “Let the husband
render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband,” 1 Cor.
7:3. Indeed if the two are to successfully stay in harmony, each must serve the full
complementary duty to the other.
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2. The problem, however, is that in the same way the head can never become the neck, it would
be surely ridiculous [if really God would grant it happen] to find the neck and the head when
they have swapped positions on the body. It also follows that just as we would assess such a
situation as totally abnormal, we [especially as Africans] only need to helplessly accept to
concur with nature that it is impossible [and unnecessary anyway] for a woman to become a
man and vice versa. And if it happens, the anomalies [just as it would be in case the head and
the neck swapped positions] is depicted in the many problems [even some of which] we have
already witnessed and at times tested, arising from the increasing family uncertainties in
today’s world. To your information for example, my dear reader, while we [here in Africa]
remain allergic to divorce, the phenomenon has become a completely normal and very
necessary procedure in solving most of the Western world’s marital problems. And while it
would be very good to borrow some things from the other world for the diversity of our
cultures to reduce the so called [and surely sometimes misconceived] primitivism, it is very
important for us to remain appreciative to our better cultural values especially in marriage,
for this is the industry of society’s population. There is surely no doubt, that despite all the
numerous marital problems faced by our ancestors, they enjoyed marriage and it was more
meaningful and productive in all aspects than in today’s [sometimes] overrated contemporary
and more intellectual world. Let us try to be realistic and practical enough. The same way it
would be an abuse if on his way, a man is called, “Hey Woman;” a woman would surely feel
less or disrespected if she is called, “Hey Man!” This, in both cases, demeans the nature of
humanity. The issue is not that any of the titles above is bad, but rather that, the man will feel
as though somebody has judged him as lacking in his masculine character, and likewise, the
woman would feel as though she is quite lacking in her feminine character, which both sexes
extremely adore, and indeed should, because it is that which defines the nature of humanity,
its purpose and function!
Scripture is very clear on here, for in Genesis, we learn that Eve was a lovely appointee of
Adam, who named her ‘Woman’ to express it, that she is part of him, and [certainly] non-
existent without him because she was specifically made From him, and for him; to provide
company and help unto him. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should
be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” Gen (2:18). “And the rib, which the LORD
God had taken from man….” Gen (2:22). God had all the capacity to create Eve from any
other means / material, but He opted to use Adam’s rib because He wanted that these be ONE
in TWO, and yet TWO in ONE and appreciatively well-positioned; the same way the Neck is
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3. inseparable from the Head, and yet never willing to swap locations. This is God’s wisdom to
which any attempt to go against, can but only be judged as seeking to defy His All-Holy
Creating Art. And indeed when all was done, Adam was quick to appreciate saying, “…this is
now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was
taken out of Man” Gen (2:23). Thus, seeking to alter the above laid down settings is
tantamount to questioning and certainly disputing the Mighty Creativity of God, hence an
expression of disbelief.
The New Testament simply affirms the above role of a woman. For we see Apostle Paul
reasoning to the Corinthians, “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man,” 1 Cor. (11:8-9);
while Peter exhorts that, “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. “…nor to usurp
authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve.” 1 Peter
(2:11-13). Majority of our African cultures were naturally aware of this even before reading
the Divine Scriptures. And Apostle Paul helped to clarify that, “The wife hath not power of
her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own
body, but the wife,” 1 Cor. 7:4.
Therefore, Mothers and Sisters should not feel inferior at all, just because the man is being
called the Head. They should instead be proud of themselves, especially when society
appreciates their feminine role. On the other hand, men need to realize that women are part of
them, and in no way inferior as along as they fulfill their feminine role like: The Gracious
endurance of the labor pains and nurturing the offspring instead of aborting & abandoning
them, as well as Ensuring that the Image of their Families is appropriate, because the
ultimate outcome of these, as presents Christ Himself in John 16:20, is “…Joy”. In fact, woe
unto him, a man who chooses to neglect his masculine role, because as long as his wife
fulfills hers, she is by all means superior to him, for even Adam had to play a prime role for
God to grant him the authority over the one whom, He had from eternity planned for him
(Adam). Gender equality lies in the degree to which the two parties fulfill their respective
roles. Let us try to carefully filter what our Western brethren introduce to us. We should not
say ‘No’ to all, but it would be good if we only got those values which are relevant and
compatible with our cultures. We should for us understand that a woman, especially here in
Africa, has an inexpressibly big role to play [completely different from that of a European
woman], that if she abandons it just because she wants to be the head as we are observing
today, society is at stake. And this partially explains today’s increasing cases of Child
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4. neglect, which has exposed them to a hotter world before they are ready for it. Mothers have
forgotten the much mentally developmental words of care which our ancestors used to offer,
for they spend much time thinking on how they can overpower the men in society.
Unfortunately, all this power is being thought of in terms of money, other than fostering
cultural values. But surely even then, no woman here in Africa would completely find it
ethical for her to pay ‘Groom-price’ as opposed to Bride price by men, neither do we have
many men ready to enjoy such a situation, in case it arises; yet on the contrary, many Western
Communities [especially in Europe] are very comfortable when it is the woman to plan for
such and other related things, including the family settlement. It is their culture, and they do
not intend to change it either; that is why they find it necessary to trade it beyond their
boundaries—they treasure it. Why then should we change ours seeking to adopt theirs? Why
don’t we also treasure ours and prepare to trade it to them in future, as we get stronger and
stronger? Why should we surrender to the Western force, at this time when we are planning
to ensure that one time we should have enough also for them to ask from us? Will this dream
really be realistic then? CERTAINLY NO! These are some of the fundamental basics that we
need to start with, and ensure that we are unique from the rest of the world, and therefore
have something to offer.
We should take it upon ourselves to accept that it is most certainly impossible for a woman to
be a man, neither is it necessary at all; and every time it seems like so, many problems follow
than it would have been in normal circumstances.
The author of this article is currently
A Student of Theology, at Orthodox Patriarchal Ecclesiastical School,
With Bachelors of Science Degree with Education
Contact: mutokyajose@yahoo.co.uk, Tel: +256773166214, +254714850898
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