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Conflict Management and
Negotiation Skills
4 Jan 2014
What is conflict?
Constructive or destructive?
 Good or Bad?
 Does it result in winners or losers?
 Is it unnatural?
 Should it be expressed out in the open?
 Is it inevitable?

Sources of Conflict
Short term pressures vs long term goals
 Differing perceptions, values, cultural
norms
 Ambiguous jurisdictions
 Lack of clarity
 Resources
 Power, status etc
 Attitudes
 Change

Ways to deal with common
conflict










Both parties talk things out and decide on a solution
that pleases both (Collaboration)
Both parties sort things out and each side makes a
concession( Negotiation)
One party gives in to the other party(Avoidance)
Both parties underplay the conflict(smoothing)
Someone who is not part of the conflict helps them to
talk things out and reach a solution(Mediation)
Both parties decide to talk things out with a third
party- third party determines a binding solution(
Arbitration)
Both parties take the legal route( Adjudication)
My father said: "You must never try to make all the money
that's in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too,
because if you have a reputation for always making all the
money, you won't have many deals.”
J. Paul Getty
Negotiation – What is it?
‘The process by
which we search for
the terms to obtain
what we want from
somebody who
wants something
from us’

Gavin Kennedy

Confer with others to
reach a compromise or
agreement.
Concise Oxford Dictionary

‘Negotiation is an
explicit voluntary
traded exchange
between people who
want something from
each other’
Gavin Kennedy

To negotiate
is to trade
something we
have for
something we
want.
Anon
When do we Negotiate?
When we need someone’s consent
When the time and effort of negotiating are
justified
When the outcome is uncertain
Source: The Negotiate Trainers Manual 1996 p6.
Types of Behaviour in
Negotiations
RED- aggressive , demanding
 BLUE- relational, cooperative
 PURPLE- tit for tat strategies, problem
solving, assertive.

Negotiation techniques








Determine what you want and what they want
Determine what you will trade- know your
BATNA
Visualize gains
Assess own strengths and weaknesses and
that of the other party
Positive powerful opening- remember that both
sides are under pressure.
Cover- why we are here, what we are going to
do how long it will take
Emphasize on the need for agreement
Techniques--- contd
Do not feel intimidated
 Use neutral tone- listen actively
 Use purple behaviour at all times
 Full disclosure of proposal?
 Be prepared to make concessions
 Do not ignore issues to speed up
negotiations
 Record fully all agreements finalized

ASSSERTIVENESS IS A SET OF COMMUNICATION SKILLS, NOT A PERSONALITY TYPE
JUST

LIKE ANY OTHER BEHAVIOR, ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN BE LEARNED.

TO

COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY IS TO COMMUNICATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND
FEELINGS
HONESTLY AND APPROPRIATELY.
THIS

REQUIRES SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-CONFIDENCE -KNOWING WHAT YOU
WANT AND BELIEVING THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
ASSERTIVENESS

MEANS TREATING YOURSELF WITH THE SAME RESPECT THAT
YOU WOULD USUALLY DEMONSTRATE TOWARD OTHERS
WITHOUT

INTENTIONALLY HURTING ANYONE'S FEELINGS.

􀂉 DIRECT COMMUNICATION CAN REDUCE CONFLICT, BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE,
AND ENHANCE PERSONAL AND WORK RELATIONSHIPS.
22

THINKER QUESTION
A union leader interviewed on television made a passionate case that if only
the management would return to the negotiation table and ‘show some
flexibility’, he had no doubt that the bitter strike ‘would be settled in a
matter of hours’. Did he mean that:
a)
The union was ready to make some concessions?
b)
The management must make some concessions?
c)
If the management made some concessions then the union would too?
39

Thinker question
The financial director of a large customer is an abusive and domineering
person, who has a repertoire of swear words and will not accept
‘No’ for an answer. She expects you to sit there and take it and
theatrically waves her arms about and throws papers around when
she wants to make a point. Do you:
a. Behave in a contrasting manner and keep your cool?
b. Agree to what she wants?
c. Wait to say your piece?

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Conflict Management and negotiation

  • 2. What is conflict? Constructive or destructive?  Good or Bad?  Does it result in winners or losers?  Is it unnatural?  Should it be expressed out in the open?  Is it inevitable? 
  • 3. Sources of Conflict Short term pressures vs long term goals  Differing perceptions, values, cultural norms  Ambiguous jurisdictions  Lack of clarity  Resources  Power, status etc  Attitudes  Change 
  • 4. Ways to deal with common conflict        Both parties talk things out and decide on a solution that pleases both (Collaboration) Both parties sort things out and each side makes a concession( Negotiation) One party gives in to the other party(Avoidance) Both parties underplay the conflict(smoothing) Someone who is not part of the conflict helps them to talk things out and reach a solution(Mediation) Both parties decide to talk things out with a third party- third party determines a binding solution( Arbitration) Both parties take the legal route( Adjudication)
  • 5. My father said: "You must never try to make all the money that's in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won't have many deals.” J. Paul Getty
  • 6. Negotiation – What is it? ‘The process by which we search for the terms to obtain what we want from somebody who wants something from us’ Gavin Kennedy Confer with others to reach a compromise or agreement. Concise Oxford Dictionary ‘Negotiation is an explicit voluntary traded exchange between people who want something from each other’ Gavin Kennedy To negotiate is to trade something we have for something we want. Anon
  • 7. When do we Negotiate? When we need someone’s consent When the time and effort of negotiating are justified When the outcome is uncertain Source: The Negotiate Trainers Manual 1996 p6.
  • 8. Types of Behaviour in Negotiations RED- aggressive , demanding  BLUE- relational, cooperative  PURPLE- tit for tat strategies, problem solving, assertive. 
  • 9. Negotiation techniques        Determine what you want and what they want Determine what you will trade- know your BATNA Visualize gains Assess own strengths and weaknesses and that of the other party Positive powerful opening- remember that both sides are under pressure. Cover- why we are here, what we are going to do how long it will take Emphasize on the need for agreement
  • 10. Techniques--- contd Do not feel intimidated  Use neutral tone- listen actively  Use purple behaviour at all times  Full disclosure of proposal?  Be prepared to make concessions  Do not ignore issues to speed up negotiations  Record fully all agreements finalized 
  • 11. ASSSERTIVENESS IS A SET OF COMMUNICATION SKILLS, NOT A PERSONALITY TYPE JUST LIKE ANY OTHER BEHAVIOR, ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN BE LEARNED. TO COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY IS TO COMMUNICATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HONESTLY AND APPROPRIATELY. THIS REQUIRES SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-CONFIDENCE -KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT AND BELIEVING THAT YOU DESERVE IT. ASSERTIVENESS MEANS TREATING YOURSELF WITH THE SAME RESPECT THAT YOU WOULD USUALLY DEMONSTRATE TOWARD OTHERS WITHOUT INTENTIONALLY HURTING ANYONE'S FEELINGS. 􀂉 DIRECT COMMUNICATION CAN REDUCE CONFLICT, BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE, AND ENHANCE PERSONAL AND WORK RELATIONSHIPS.
  • 12. 22 THINKER QUESTION A union leader interviewed on television made a passionate case that if only the management would return to the negotiation table and ‘show some flexibility’, he had no doubt that the bitter strike ‘would be settled in a matter of hours’. Did he mean that: a) The union was ready to make some concessions? b) The management must make some concessions? c) If the management made some concessions then the union would too?
  • 13. 39 Thinker question The financial director of a large customer is an abusive and domineering person, who has a repertoire of swear words and will not accept ‘No’ for an answer. She expects you to sit there and take it and theatrically waves her arms about and throws papers around when she wants to make a point. Do you: a. Behave in a contrasting manner and keep your cool? b. Agree to what she wants? c. Wait to say your piece?