This is a brief synopsis of the bestselling book :"The New: dare to Discipline". I have no affiliation with the author Dr. Dobson, or his work that I have discussed here. This is a presentation made as a part of the psychotherapy seminar: book review series. In my personal oppinion, you should not take every word that is written in the book. Just like most other written things in this world, this should be evaluated and weighed according to the current time and situation. A good decision about parenting should be made, taking into account your own religious cultural and ethnic background, and most importantly the individiual needs of your child. This book does not provide a panacea for child rearing, nor it should be treated as a rule book, but it certainly lays out some basic principles, which shall remain applicable, no matter what tthe circumstances are viz, the need for structure, consistency with regards to parenting, not only in the punishments but in rewards, and how small gratifications and rewards which we do for the children anyways, can be utilized and will go a long way in making good citizens out of them.

1. The new: Dare to Discipline
by: Dr. James Dobson PhD
Psychotherapy Seminar book review by
•Pallav Pareek M.D.

2. About the Author
 James Clayton "Jim" Dobson, Jr. born
4/21/1936 in Shreveport LA, in a very religious
family
 Attended Point Loma Nazarene (formerly
Pacific Bible College)
 PhD. Child development from University of
Southern CA 1967
 Author of 25 books as the solo author
including: Bringing up boys…., What Wives
Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women etc.
 Although never an ordained minister, he was
called "the nation's most influential
evangelical leader" by Time
 His Radio show : Focus on the family 1977-
2010, has been included in the national radio
hall of fame
 2010: Family talk with Dr. James Dobson:
currently aired on over 300 stations

3. About the Book
 Originally published as Dare to Discipline in 1970
 Revised as The new Dare to discipline in1992
 There are no grey areas for Dr. Dobson, and so
are no grey areas for people who like/dislike his
work. People either absolutely hate/love his work
 www.goodreads.com labels it as “All who work
with children or youth will welcome this sound
discussion about maintaining order, developing
responsibility, and building character. “

4. What is the theme
 Just like his religious upbringing, DTD is
about old school evangelical Christian way of
bringing up children.
 This is a book which argues for the prinicple
concept of corporal punishment (as a ++)
 Parents have well defined roles as do their
children……..

5. Some important questions
 Why are boundaries so
important?
 Do children really want
limits set on their
behavior?
 Is it okay to spank my
child?
 Should Teens be spanked
 Are rewards important? If
so should everything be
rewarded
 Is rewarding a form of
Bribe?

6. Framework of Book: Chapters
1. The Challenge
2. Common Sense in your child
3. More common sense about children
4. Questions and Answers
5. The Miracle tools part 1
6. The Miracle tools part 2
7. Discipline and learning
8. The Barriers to learning, part 1
9. The Barriers to learning, part 2
10. Discipline in morality
11. A moment for mom

7. The Challenge
 The social backdrop from the original DTD has
changed……..But children haven’t changed, nor they ever
will. I’m even more convinced now that the principles of
good parenting are eternal, having originated with the
Creator of families……
 Much has been written about the dangers of harsh,
oppressive, unloving discipline; these warnings are valid
and should be heeded. However, the consequences of
oppressive discipline have been cited as a justification for
the abdication of leadership. That is foolish. There are times
when a strong willed child will clench his little fists and dare
his parents to accept his challenges. He is not motivated by
frustration or inner hostility, as it is often supposed. He
merely wants to know where the boundaries lie, and who’s
available to enforce them.

8. Common sense and more..
1. Developing respect for children is the
criitical factor in child management
2. The best opportunity to communicate often
occurs after a disciplinary event
3. Control without nagging: e.g. Henry ppp-37-
38
4. Don’t saturate the child with materialism
5. Establish a balance between love and
discipline ……and between parents.

9. Summary: Dobson’s own words
 Lest I be misunderstood, I shall emphasize my
message by stating it’s opposite. I am not
recommending your home be harsh and
oppressive. I am not suggesting that you give
you children spanking every morning with their
ham and eggs………by contrast I am
recommending a simple principle; when you are
defiantly challenged, win decisively. When the
child asks “who’s in charge?” tell him. When he
mutters “Who loves me?” take him in your arms
and surround him with affection…… (pp51)

10. Q&A
Chapter four deals with questions parents frequently
have (just like our column) for example
1. What should be accomplished between 18mo
and 5 years…(pp55)
2. How should we discipline an adopted child, child
with disability (pp57)
3. I have never spanked my 3yo. I am afraid it will
teach him to be a violent person….(pp60)
4. Is there anyone who should never spank a child?
(pp63)
5. Spanking when to begin, when to stop….(pp65)
6. How do you feel about…..each member has an
equal vote on decisions affecting the entire
family (pp67)
7. How long should a child be allowed to cry after
being disciplined or spanked? Is there a limit?
8. Should teenagers be spanked? (pp72)

11. The Miracle Tools:1&2
•Rewards should be instant
•Rewards need not be material in nature
•Almost any behavior that is learned through
reinforcement can be eliminated if the reward is withheld
long enough(e.g. Walleyed pike vs. the minnows)
•Parents and teachers are also vulnerable to
reinforcement.
•Parents often reinforce undesirable behavior and weaken
the behavior they value. (eg of Mr. & Mrs. Weakknee: Ricky
cries at bedtime when parents have company around)

12. Discipline in learning
 Major part of this section is spent criticizing: concepts like Permissive
education, The open classroom , The Summer-hill school
 Proponents of these schools of thought: AS Neill, Herbert R Kohn
 Very ardently supports strict disciplinarian approach for learning: cites
Newsweek article in May 1971 “Leaning can be fun”, and then December
1975 article “Why Johnny can’t write” . Writes a letter to the editor:
Perhaps Johnny couldn’t write because he spent too much time having
fun in (…1971)the classroom”
 Criticizes approach of Miss. Peach: who said on day one “I am so glad we
had a chance to get together. This is going to be such a fun year for you;
we’re going to make soap and soup, and we’re going to paint a mural
that will paint the entire wall. We’ll take field trips and play games…..this
is going to be a great year. You’re going to love me and I am going to
love you, and we’ll just have a ball”
 Condones the approach of Mrs. Justice: who’s day 1 speech was “This is
going to be a good year, and I am glad you are my students. I want you
to know that each one of you is important to me. I hope you will feel free
to ask questions, and enjoy learning in this class………..Well we have
some work to do so let’s get started. Would you take out your math
books and turn to page 4”

13. The Barriers to learning 1&2
 The Late Bloomer
 The Slow Learner
 The Underachiever

14. Discipline in Morality
What is discussed? Conclusions…..
 “In defense of a little  Here is this section the author,
gives a very religious outlook on
virginity” issues, such as premarital sex,
abortions, sex education and
 Who should impart sex cohabitation in college
education? dorms….etc.
 How much of this is applicable in
 When to say what? this day and time is difficult to
say. If all the things suggested by
the author were to be applied, it
will need a sea change in the
whole cosmos around us…which
is neither practical nor should be
tried……

15. A moment for mom
1. Reserve some time for yourself
2. Don’t Struggle with things you can’t change
e.g. Mother in law 
3. Don’t deal with big problems late at night
4. Try making a list
5. Seek divine assistance

16. Disclaimer
 I have no affiliation with the book or the
author. I do not agree or disagree with his
thoughts. This presentation has been made
as a part of the book review club, under the
psychotherapy seminar series.
If there is a question or concern regarding this
presentation , please feel free to email me at
pallavpareek@gmail.com