Our milonga will be a better place in which to dance, and our society will be a better place in which to live, if we embrace the spirit of tango and reject individualism.
2. We all assume certain roles in life. Husband
and wife, father and mother, president and
vice president, center forward and
linebacker, leader and follower, etc., all are
different roles.
One must act in compliance with one’s role
in order to live and work with others as a
team. Acting in excess of one’s role is often
the cause of a failed partnership, whether in
marriage, politics, sports, or tango.
3. Not only so, we also need to be agreeable with
each other in order to function as a team.
If we are disagreeable with each other, we are
unable to work in unison for the same cause.
For this reason, agreeableness was once
regarded as a virtue.
4. People may have personal interests and
persona opinions, but as members of a team
they must think from the vantage point of the
group, be sympathetic, overcome their own
ego, seek common ground, and be willing to
compromise, regarding them as a part of the
whole that is bigger and more important than
themselves.
5. But, when individualism becomes the
dominant philosophy in a society where
everyone thinks of himself or herself as the
most important, that is no longer the case.
In today’s America, for example, individual
rights and personal interests take precedence
over the interests of the society as a whole.
6. As a result, people disagree and bicker with
each other on everything. The gridlock in our
politics is but a reflection of the small-
mindedness, selfishness, rabidity and
obstinacy that characterize a nation lacking
broad visions, magnanimity, brotherhood and
common cause.
The disregard for human rights is a regrettable
fact in human history. Liberalism, which
places human liberty as the center of its cause,
has played a positive role in human history.
7. However, the view of men and women as free and
independent individuals is an unbalanced one.
Human beings are not only free and independent
individuals, but also interconnected and
interdependent social beings. Our life, liberty
and happiness depended on collective efforts and
a stable and harmonious society.
8. In today’s America, however, the collective
rights and well-being of the society as a whole
are often being ignored while individual rights
and personal freedom are overemphasized
and often pushed to the extreme by the right
and the left alike.
9. Business aggression and expansionism, the
exploitation of other human beings, the
destruction of the environment, squandering,
monopolization, the concentration of wealth
in the hands of a few, the influence of big
money on politics, the promotion of
obscenity and violence in the name of free
speech, gun culture, sex freedom, same-sex
marriage, etc., are typical examples.
10. Too many people think only about themselves
and disregard the common interests of the
society and humanity as a whole.
Our tango reflects the same kind of thinking.
Many dancers do not see themselves as a part
of the team or community, but as independent
individuals.
11. Freedom is being interpreted as against any
compliance. Equality is being interpreted as
against any submission. Gender roles are
repudiated. Men do not lead, but only give
suggestions. Women remain independent,
may disobey men, interrupt the lead, or
reverse roles. The embrace is being replaced
with an open hold to avoid physical contact
and emotional involvement.
12. Personal performance supersedes intimate
cooperation. The relationship of the partners
becomes a cold working relationship, so does
the atmosphere of the milonga. Everybody
demonstrates a strong ego. Those who try to
dance with others are often being humiliated
by the rude response of the invitees. There is
a lack of friendliness, brotherhood, intimacy
and cooperation in our milongas.
13. But, we are human being still. Our individualist
illusion does not blot out our loneliness,
longing, interdependence and need for each
other. That is why we come to tango in the first
place – to be in close contact with others, to
form an intimate relationship, to satisfy our
hunger for connection, affection and affinity.
Unfortunately, these needs are often stymied
by our independence, arrogance and
disagreeableness.
14. Tango puts us in such an intimate contact with
one another that we are forced to rethink what
it means to be men and women, to change our
self-centered behaviors, to be better connected
and cooperative partners, and to dance in
unison and harmony through abiding by the
roles and being agreeable with each other. The
lessons we learn fro tango are valuable and
applicable to other areas of life as well.
15. We need leaders who understand the truth
revealed in tango, to unite people, set aside
the difference, find common ground, restore
brotherhood, focus on the common cause
instead of the differences, and work as a
team. Our milonga will be a better place in
which to dance and our society will be a
better place in which to live, I believe, if we
embrace the spirit of tango and reject
individualism.
