Dealing with Difficult People 2016
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Dealing with Difficult People 2016
- 1. At the end of this course participants will be able to: Recognise behavioural traits of difficult people Determine action to take when dealing with difficult people. Confront people when necessary Apply preventative strategies Explain what conflict is Use an appropriate resolution technique
- 2. Make my life miserable Reduce my morale Get me angry Deplete my energies Make me feel helpless Make me want to scream Affect my productivity Waste my time Difficult people:
- 3. There is no such thing as a difficult person, there are just people we need to learn how to deal with …… Rule 2 Re-read the first rule
- 5. If we can understand what underlies our attitudes and behaviours we can gain an insight into how we interact with others. Once we understand ourselves we can move to understanding others and choose to behave in a more flexible way. An understanding will help us to establish better interpersonal relationships
- 6. .,,, Theory is based on a relationship between body chemistry and behaviour Sanguine Hopeful, confident, optimistic Sanguine Hopeful, confident, optimistic Choleric: Quick, hot temper, aggressive Choleric: Quick, hot temper, aggressive Phlegmatic: Slow, lacking in energy Phlegmatic: Slow, lacking in energy Melancholic: Depressed, prone to worry Melancholic: Depressed, prone to worry
- 7. Personality is the defining characteristics of a person’s actions, thoughts and feelings It is a consistent pattern of behaviour in different situations It is a set of inner beliefs which influence the way a person interacts with others socially Some aspects of personality are learned, some are hereditory Personality affects our attitudes and behaviour which, in turn, influence how others view us
- 8. Catell (1905 – 1998): Catell’s 16PF Warren Norman (1963): The Big Five Each of the 5 dimensions is like a container holding a set of traits that occur together. A trait is a habitual pattern of behaviour.
- 10. CC conscientiousness to unsystematic AA agreeableness to hard-headed NN neuroticism*(negative emotionality) to emotional stability OO openness to conformity EE extraversion to introversion *Neuroticism is often changed to “negative emotionality” The number and strength of events required to produce emotions in the individual The quiz is designed to give you a sense of the dimensions. Accuracy is not guaranteed
- 11. .
- 12. Select a colleague; the aim is to improve your relationship
- 13. Conscientiousness Unsystematic E M S S M E Agreeableness Tough-mindedness E M S S M E Negative emotionality Emotional stability E M S S M E Openness to experience conformity E M S S M E extraverted introverted E M S S M E
- 14. Do you find the person difficult because their personality is driving their behaviour and it is not compatible with yours? Is the person being difficult because they find your behaviour difficult? He/she is different not difficult. Would combining your skills/behaviour bring great rewards?
- 15. Bramson “Coping with difficult People” Hostile, aggressive and offensive Complainers and moaners The silent unresponsive and quiet ones The super agreeable The negativist The know-all The indecisive, the hesitant
- 16. I will not move; you will move for me. I will sneak up on you, and you won't know it. I will attack when threatened by others.
- 17. These people have a strong need to prove to themselves and to others that their view of the world is right. They are critical and argumentative. They usually achieve short-term objectives. They value aggression and confidence. They devalue individuals who do not appear to have these qualities
- 18. They put up a front of friendliness while they attack you with non-playful funny remarks. Their body language is often friendly while they attack you orally. Like the tank, they believe that making others look bad makes them look good.
- 19. This behaviour erupts out of conversations that seem to start friendly. It happens when he/she feels physically or psychologically threatened. Response is usually first anger followed by blaming or suspicion.
- 20. I make promises, but I don't always deliver. I may agree with others so I am liked and socially accepted. I may use humour to ease conversation.
- 21. They want to be friends with everyone and love attention. Their method of being liked is to tell you things that are satisfying to hear. They are a problem because they lead you to think that they are in agreement only to let you down. Rather that directly losing friendships or approval they will commit themselves to action on which they cannot or will not follow through
- 22. . I know I know more than you. I think I am better than you. I will tell you anything you want to know.
- 23. The unresponsive use silence as their defensive weapon to avoid revealing themselves so that they can avoid getting into trouble. Silence can also be used to hurt you.
- 24. This person not only disagrees with suggestions in a group situation but also criticises the group’s progress. They like to tear apart and shoot holes in whatever is being said at the moment.
- 25. Complaints are a way for the complainer to confirm they are not in control or responsible for things that have gone wrong, reaffirming perfectionism Extreme conformity
- 26. They have an overwhelming need to be recognised for their intellectual ability. They are bores and dull. Their behaviour comes from a need for others to think of them as being important and respected. They are very frustrating to work with and this can lead to tension in the workplace
- 27. Inside the indecisive is a perfectionist trying to get out. They just don’t seem to manage it. Sometimes they are not good at communicating own thoughts and needs. Sometimes the hesitate because they are not able to cope with stress.
- 28. Difficult interpersonal encounters 3 choices: 1. Change the situation 2. Change the other person 3. Change your approach change your behaviour change your attitude What approach gives us the best chance of getting what we want – the outcome?
- 29. Use the right mental attitude when confronting others to minimise the effect of difficult encounters. Is there a reason for their behaviour that can be dealt with fairly easily? Attitude: Start with Optimism
- 32. There is no such thing as a difficult person, there are just people we need to learn how to deal with …… Rule 2 Re-read the first rule
- 35. We may forget what people have said to us but we never forget how they made us feel
- 36. Difficult people trigger our emotions: anger fear helplessness adrenalin
- 38. Difficult interpersonal encounters 3 choices: 1. Change the situation 2. Change the other person 3. Change your approach choose your behaviour change your attitude What approach gives us the best chance of getting what we want – the outcome?
- 40. “You’re too slow” “You’re hopeless” “You don’t know what you are doing” “You’re too careful and won’t take risks” “You always ……” “You never ……..” Labelling: Words that will trigger difficult behaviour
- 41. “You obviously don’t understand” “You are over-reacting” “You are wrong” “You are not informed” “You are not listening” Provocative Language: Words that will trigger difficult behaviour
- 42. Re-phraseBe aware of your language
- 44. “Our work on the project is on time, but the ……….. team is way behind the schedule.” Change your behaviour: The Blame Game
- 45. “Our work on the project is on time and the ……… team is working hard to catch up with the tight schedule. Be Generous
- 46. “No” “But” “Rubbish” Change your behaviour Trigger words for difficult behaviour
- 49. Your team leader has announced that you are about to move into an open-plan office. You are strongly against it. You have agreed on your performance contract for this year and the projects you are to work on have been clearly defined. Your team leader has called you into the office as he has 3 additional projects he would like you to take on.
- 51. Do not validate their behaviour 1.4 magic statements 2.Fog 3.Say you see things differently
- 52. I hope you are going to be a bit better at consulting us this time. Clarify the criticism Do you feel there was not enough consultation? Well obviously not – look what happened. Fog Yes, I am sure it could have been done differently. What exactly would you like to see happen this time that didn’t happen last time?
- 53. Recognise the opinion they have stated. State your position and use open questions That was a pretty stupid way to behave in a meeting. Yes, I can see that you thought it was pretty stupid. I behaved in a way I thought was appropriate. What do you think I should have done differently?
- 54. The “magic” words Fog Say you see things differently I don’t see things/myself that way. Could you give me an example? 3 techniques
- 55. 1. Feedback 2. Confrontation – how about giving the benefit of the doubt!
- 56. Silence validates behaviour
- 57. Feedback v. confrontation The difference lies in the intention
- 58. Bear the following points in mind: Think about the person receiving it. Think about what you want to achieve by giving it. Look at mistakes as opportunities to learn. Watch your timing.
- 59. The scenario: A colleague has recently joined your team and seems to be struggling to settle in. You have noticed that in meetings the colleague does not contribute even if they are directly asked for an opinion and they say something like “I am not sure.” However, if you speak to your colleague after the meeting it is obvious that they have ideas that are valuable and should have been shared at the meeting. You have noticed that your line manager is beginning to ignore your colleague and is not longer trying to include him in the discussions.
- 60. 1. Use an opener to prepare the receiver for the conversation 2. Draw their attention to the behaviour/performance which is causing concerns. Rule: Be specific Ask if they have noticed this behaviour 3. Identify the consequences i.e. why this is a problem 4. Ask if they are aware of the consequences of this behaviour 5. Listen and acknowledge if appropriate 6. State the outcome you want using appropriate levels of politeness. /Ask for their solution Get commitment Summarise
- 62. What are the rules? Listen to people objectively Give a brief statement of regret Let them know you heard them Stay emotionally tuned in Find a point of agreement Generate a solution Take action
- 63. Strategies to Handle High Level Aggression Ignore anger – try to identify the core problem Asking open questions to get information Carry out the previously threatened action Calmly and politely state your intention to walk out/hand up and to continue the discussion later Acknowledge the speaker’s position State why yours is different If necessary, restate previous agreements and discussions Continue discussions at an acceptable emotional level by If progress If no progress If progress
- 65. Silence validates behaviour
- 66. Be able to take 100% responsibility for your own happiness. Do not allow another person to rob you of one minute of your enjoyment of life
- 67. It is a key principle of behavioural psychology that behaviour that is rewarded in some way will be repeated.
- 68. Difficult Behaviour Response Reward Asking me questions that are not part of my job. I usually answer them anyway as I don’t want to appear unhelpful Not checking work carefully enough so that there are mistakes I tend to go through it and correct it myself to make sure it’s ok Talking to me all the time when I have work to do I just carry on working and try to ignore it
- 69. Will you fall into the trap and let it get out of hand? Confrontation Conflict
- 70. This is usually the result of a mismatch between how you feel about something and how the other person feels about it. If the other person does not know how you feel – should you tell them?
- 71. Clarify the issue Clarify your emotions and then step back What is your purpose in having the conversation Plan the conversation Opening Lines I’d like to talk to you about something that concerns me.
- 72. What would you do? 1.Clarify the issue 2.Clarify your emotions and then try to step back from them. 3.What is your purpose in having the conversation
- 80. A disagreement through which the parties involved think there is a threat to their needs, interests or concerns.
- 81. Misunderstandings Behaviour clashes Values clashes Difference in goals Substandard performance Differences over methods to be used Problems related to areas of responsibility Lack of cooperation Problems related to areas of authority Frustration Competition for limited resources Non-compliance with rules and policy ..
Notes de l'éditeur
- Group work – discussion Empty slide
- If we plant some flowers and they don’t grow, it is no good blaming the flower. It could be the soil, lack of water, fertilizer. We find out what the problem is and fix it. Having problems with certain people – find out the problem …..
- The issue of personality types is really old. Hippocrtes and ancient Greeks gave it a lot of thought 2,500 years ago. The belief was that your personality depended on the kinds of fluids (humours) you had in your body.
- Even belief that different climates produced different personalities. No scientific validity. If you had lived then which is your natural temperament? Put round the room. Phlegmatic – cool and wet (English) Melancholic – cool and dry (Russians) Sanguine – warm and moist (Italians) Choleric – warm and dry (arab countries)
- Cattell based on a set of traits assumed to exist in every individual. Incredibly complex used 4,500 words to describe people. His personality questionnaire Catell’s 16PF is still widely used today. Much research was statistically flawed use of computers to compare findings in different studies has helped improve reliability. A number of researchers have concluded that 5 is the magiv number. Each of the 5 dimensions is like a container holding a set of traits
- So – we could find people difficult because their behaviour reflects their personality and it is at the opposite end of the continuum to ours. They are demonstrating extreme/very strong characteristics of their behaviour. Flipchart Conscientious ________________________________________ Unsystematic Attention to detail big picture Agreeableness _________________________________________ tough minded Soft – easily moved hardheaded
- Vocab is frequently not used in the same way as it is in common English If you score highly in neuroticism it means that you are bothered by a great many situations and these do not have to be particularly strong to produce a negative emotional reaction.
- The quiz will help you relate the factors involved to yourself at work.
- Are they on the same end of the continuum as you. If not how could each of you see the other as being “difficult”
- Green is you. Discuss and then handout
- Maybe it’s not them it’s me.
- Handout - What behaviour would you use? Take notes on the behaviours. They are called many different names. Put these on flip chart There are a lot more of them but these form the basis of nearly all.
- Handout
- Purpose We come into contact with a wide range of people on a daily basis. Some of these people may prove to be a lot more difficult to handle than others. You may find yourself agitated, annoyed, under threat or simply affected by another person. In most cases, cutting off the difficult person from your daily life is not an option, he could be your superior, client or even partner. In these circumstances, you need to know how to deal with each individual according to their behaviour and habits while staying cool and maintaining your own emotional composure. Although, some people may be seen as difficult, by having the right mentality and using suitable techniques, you will be able to maintain a productive and peaceful relationship with them. In this course, you will be introduced to a variety of topics analysing people, situations and communications and learn several techniques to handle them. Objective By the end of this session you will be able to: Use the right mental attitude when confronting others to minimise the effect of difficult encounters Process You will initially see the theory and later on will go through a quick exercise. Relay Experience What is your current understanding of self-control? Relay Application How important is this topic and how interested you are to get better at it?
- Scenario of someone stealing your ideas
- To Tutor: Go through the guidelines one statement at a time and ask, “What do you think of this? How does this help you to handle people?” Then complete the responses with the descriptions given. See the Good in People Most people find it easier to find and point out shortcomings than to acknowledge and praise others efforts and good work. In other words, the cake is tasty; we just need to focus on the icing. Have Lower Expectations If you feel let down by most people often, then the problem could be your high expectations. Some of us are perfectionists. We want the best of everything and constantly feel the need to tweak things to increase their quality. This can frustrate those around us who think more realistically. Think of your objective. If others are providing a valuable service or their relationship is important to you, there is no reason to risk all that for a bit more quality to satisfy your own perfectionist desires. Be Patient By being patient, you allow those in distress to cool down and get back to their normal emotional state. Being patient also prevents you from jumping into conclusions and creating unnecessary conflict. Emotions accumulate, though if you wait and have patience your emotions start to fade and you will get back to a more natural state. Patience also lets you think more logically and make better decisions by considering all factors before taking any action. Let Go and Forgive Sometimes, you just have to let go. Think of yourself as a parent dealing with naughty children. If your child does something he is not supposed to, you may think you need to correct his behaviour, but you won’t consider terminating your relationship with him! Sometimes you just have to forgive and forget. This attitude will have a positive effect on others especially if they did not expect it. Put Yourself in Their Position We naturally look at everything from our own point of view. When in a debate or conflict, the other person wants you to see the situation from their point of view. For this you need to do two things; you should try and understand their position and also to inform them of the reasoning behind your decision or action. Most people are too eager to tell the world about their story, but are much less inclined to hear the other side’s. You will be amazed how much you can learn and improve a relationship by listening to other’s problems and showing that you care. This means you need to listen to them more than you tell them. You need to connect to them and show that you care. It is almost impossible to have a conflict with someone if they truly believe you care about them. Praise It is an established fact that people don’t get enough praise. Research shows that praising has a significant effect in boosting both personal and professional relationships. You can always find something to praise people for and as it is rarely given, it would be very much appreciated and remembered by the other person.
- If we plant some flowers and they don’t grow, it is no good blaming the flower. It could be the soil, lack of water, fertilizer. We find out what the problem is and fix it. Having problems with certain people – find out the problem …..
- Be proactive with the difficult people – identify 3 that are “most popular”.
- Move on to the next videos to demonstrate
- This toxic concept is labelling. This is also a popular toxic method. [ENGAGE] Can you give some examples? To Tutor: Expect some examples and then show the content of the slide. What is this concept about? This is the classic name-calling which has been around ever since we left the caves (or maybe even before that!).
- This toxic concept is the use of provocative language. [ENGAGE] Can you give some examples? To Tutor: Expect some examples and then show the content of the slide. What is this concept about? This type of language is often used to provoke a reaction. People often react to them defensively and a conflict is created.
- How do you avoid using this kind of toxic phrase on others? To avoid provocative statements present your statements as non-judgmental observation rather than a direct statement which most people find insulting. You can use the following techniques to change provocative language into something productive: Use “I” statements. Use positive language. Let’s have a look at some examples... To Tutor: Show the examples and ask for an improvement by focusing on the positive. Then show the corresponding answer and move on to the next case. “You obviously don’t understand” “Have I been clear?” “You are shouting” “This conversation is getting louder. How are you feeling?” “You are over-reacting” “I imagine your feelings about this are strong” “You are wrong” “I remember this differently” “You are not informed” “Perhaps I should add some background information”
- handout
- How do you avoid using this kind of toxic phrase on others? The best way to avoid these words is to replace them with their positive equivalent so you can still get your point across. Consider this example. To Tutor: Show the example in the slide. If you say this to a marketing person, you can expect to receive a reaction. How should you say this so you can delivery it smoothly? To Tutor: Expect suggestions and then show a possible answer in the next slide.
- Possible improvement.. You still deliver the message, but you reduce the likelihood of confrontation and resistance.
- This toxic concept is reactive words. [ENGAGE] Can you give some examples? To Tutor: Expect some examples and then show the content of the slide. What is this concept about? Certain words can be extremely negative and confrontational, such as “No” and “But”. The moment you hear these words, you want to protest irrespective of your objective.
- Page 24 To avoid using reactive words, you can use the following formula... [LOOK AT WORKBOOK: Reactive Words Example] To Tutor: Ask a volunteer to read the following from the workbook. “Having a real-time chat on our website is an interesting idea. It will make it easy for customers to interact with our support personnel. They get their responses immediately as opposed to waiting for emails and it probably reduces the time-to-purchase and potentially increases the sales. I like to see how we can have support personnel on our side monitoring the system 24/7 so the online chat is always available. The chat window also needs to be responsive; if it is not real-time the customers might as well email us and I am not sure about the server demand on this, so we need to think about this carefully too.”
- Page 25 [PRACTICE][LOOK AT WORKBOOK: Three Things][PAIR][OPTIONAL] To Tutor: Ask a volunteer to read the scenario. Divide the delegates to pairs. Ask them to consider the scenario shown in the workbook and on the slide and formulate their response using the formula just discussed (Three Things). Allocate 10 minutes for this exercise and then get everyone back together to share their views. Follow with a discussion and provide feedback.
- How do you handle this kind of toxic phrase when someone else uses it on you? If you receive remarks that label you something you do not approve off, simply ignore it. Understand that the label is just a made up concept. The person is trying to get a rise out of you and show that they are not happy about something. Find the source of unhappiness and try to fix it. To Tutor: Expect suggestions and then show the contents of the slide.
- Language in workbooks. Page 4 Practice scenarios. Page 7 onwards If appropriate feedback to the manager pages 11-12
- Page 3
- Page 18 preparing for a difficult conversation
- [STORY] Imagine you are sitting behind your computer in the office. You have a headphone on and are completely concentrated on your task which is writing an important report for your client about the status of the project. While you are hard at work, Ben, your colleague, approaches your isle from behind and gently taps on the side of your headphone as he passes. For some reason, your headphone amplifies this little tap into a deafening sound which makes you jump. Your heart is beating fast and you are so startled you can’t even talk. Ben is carrying on his route while looking at you and smiling. Obviously, he meant this as a joke but it is not really funny to you. Even worse, you have now lost your train of thought. Ben’s intentions were good but the result has not turned out as he wanted and he probably doesn’t have a clue what has just happened. What would you do initially? You may say something like “ooh, that made me jump” or something similar so that Ben knows you didn’t really like it. What if Ben repeated this behaviour a couple of more times, especially if he didn't think much of your warning? Would you get angry with him? Is it worth it? You obviously need to let him know, though you need to react proportionally and always consider his intentions as well. In other words, you need look at the big picture. This event probably leads to a confrontation. What is a confrontation? Confrontations are usually the result of a mismatch between how you feel about something and how the other person feels about it. If the other person doesn’t know how you feel, it’s your responsibility to let them know. You can’t always expect everyone to know the result of their actions. [ENGAGE] What is the best way to resolve a confrontation? How should you react? To Tutor: Expect answers and then move on to the next slide and explain that assertive communication is perhaps the best form of dealing with confrontations.
- Now that you have seen the importance of assertive commutation, let’s see how you can deal with a confrontation systematically. A great technique is to use the following 5-Step Guide. The first step is: “Talk about positive future” Recall the headphone example. We will use that story to see how we can use the 5-Step guide to reply. As an example for this step you can say, “It would be great if we can both work in peace and quiet.” [ENGAGE] What do you think is the main concept portrayed here? To Tutor: Expect suggestions and then show the content of the slide for concept and explain: “Picture a future you both benefit from” Notice that the stress here is on both of you otherwise you can expect a protest right from the start.
- The second step is: “Explain the Problem Specifically” As an example you can say, “When you tap on my headphone, the sound amplifies and becomes really disturbing.” [ENGAGE] What do you think is the main concept portrayed here? To Tutor: Expect suggestions and then show the content of the slide for concept and explain: “Provide facts and let them know specifically about your world” This is your chance to let the other person know about your misery. They may not know how you felt about it, so you want to deliver facts. Don’t mix your statements with your own emotions or judgement as this will erode the value of your message. Instead, just provide facts and let them come to their own conclusion.
- The third step is: “State Why this is an Issue” As an example you can say, “It’s like being shot. It makes me jump and I get really nervous. I also lose my train of thoughts and it takes me quite a while to get back on track.” [ENGAGE] What do you think is the main concept portrayed here? To Tutor: Expect suggestions and then show the content of the slide for concept and explain: “Show consequences of their actions and why this is an issue for you” Here, you explain the consequences of their actions. Although you provided the facts in the previous step and let them make their own conclusions, they may still not realise why this can be an issue. This is your opportunity to let them know why they should listen and why this has been a concern to you. In other word, in this step you elaborate the results of their actions.
- The forth step is: “Offer a Positive Solution” As an example you can say, “How about waving at me next time you are passing by?” [ENGAGE] What do you think is the main concept portrayed here? To Tutor: Expect suggestions and then show the content of the slide for concept and explain: “Focus to solve the problem by offering a solution acceptable to both of you” In this step, you focus on how to solve the issue by offering an alternative. You can use humour to soften the mood and prevent offending your colleague. Avoid using negative sentences and instead focus on positives.
- The fifth step is: “End Positively” As an example you can say, “Thanks for listening mate, now would you like to grab a cup of coffee or something?” [ENGAGE] What do you think is the main concept portrayed here? To Tutor: Expect suggestions and then show the content of the slide for concept and explain: “End positively to get results and maximise the chances of solving the issue” By using positive language and finishing the process in a light hearted way, you are telling your colleague that there are no hard feelings between you. By sticking to the facts and avoiding emotional and judgemental comments, you have presented your problem clearly and have implied what your ideal solution is. You have treated this confrontation as an isolated event with no long term impact on your relationship and you are now happy to leave it behind you. It’s all water under the bridge, let’s have a drink and stay friends!
- [TRY][LOOK AT WORKBOOK: Confrontation][INDIVIDUAL] To Tutor: Ask the delegates to consider the case study shown in the workbook. Ask a volunteer to read it. They should follow the 5-Step Guide to Confrontation and fill in the work book with an appropriate response. Allocate 10 minutes for this and then ask all the delegates to share their responses. Follow with a group discussion and provide feedback on the quality of their answers. [BLANK SCREEN] [PRACTICE][E262_Exercise_MemoriseHandlingConfrontations][PAIR][IF ODD: INDIVIDUAL] To Tutor: Use this exercise to get the delegates practice memorising the 5-step technique so they are ready to use it in a live setting. [DEMONSTRATE][E110_Exercise_ConfrontationCaseStudies][PAIR][IF ODD: GROUP-3] To Tutor: Follow the instructions for this exercise to get the delegates to practice the 5-Step Guide to Confrontation verbally. This time they need to demonstrate that they can confront without using any notes or references. They should follow the guide in their head without missing any of the steps. [SHOW SCREEN] --- Achievement By the end of this session you will be able to: React to confrontations quickly and efficiently while maintaining your emotional balance Have we achieved this? Relay Application Confirmed How useful is this technique to handle confrontation in your environment? How simple and memorable is it?
- Questionnaire 14 methods of dealing with conflict
- [PRACTICE][E79_Exercise_ConflictResolutionStyles][PAIR][IF ODD: GROUP-3] To Tutor: Follow the instructions to get the delegates to walk through a number of scenarios and identify which conflict resolution styles then can use. Follow up with a discussion. ? What are the advantagesanddisadvantages of each one --- Achievement By the end of this session you will be able to: Select an appropriate conflict resolution style based on your need to get maximum results Have we achieved this? Relay Application Confirmed When can you use the conflict resolution styles discussed in this session? How useful is the 6-Step formula and where do you think you can use it most?
- Reference handout When entering a protracted conflict on an issue, use the following formula to resolve the problem before it becomes a crisis. To Tutor: Walk through the steps.
- Now that you have explored different styles of dealing with conflicts, it is useful to focus on the execution of resolving conflicts. As you saw, you can achieve a lot in the initial stages of the conflict’s lifecycle by focusing on win/win solutions. In the early stages, there are many areas to consider such as verbal and non-verbal statements, emotional skills and so on. Here, we will focus on verbal statements. Consider the following example... To Tutor: Show the top statement and ask a delegate to read it. How would you respond? To Tutor: Expect some responses. Notice any patterns and reference back later on when you introduce the 6-step technique explained in the next slide. Imagine if the response was this… To Tutor: Now show the rest of this slide and get a volunteer to read it. [ENGAGE] What do you think of this response? Is it effective? If not, what’s wrong with it? Can this escalate to a conflict? Indeed it can. Is this particular pattern common? Is it easy to get from such demand to full scale conflicts? Yes [ENGAGE] How can you avoid ending up in a conflict when confronted with this type of requests? To Tutor: Expect a number of solutions. Explain the formula in the next slide.
- Here is an example for the scenario we saw earlier. To Tutor: Ask a volunteer to read through it.
- …the example continued. [PRACTICE][LOOK AT WORKBOOK: 6 Step Formula][INDIVIDUAL] To Tutor: Ask the delegates to go through the exercise in the workbook. They must use the 6-Step Formula to respond to the statement. Follow with a quick discussion. [DEMONSTRATE][E76_Exercise_6StepConflictResolutionFormula][PAIRS] To Tutor: The purpose of this exercise is to test the delegates on the 6 Step Formula. Ask them to memorise the steps they just practiced, because in this exercise they need to use the formula in real-time without using any notes. Follow the given instructions and then conclude with a discussion. --- Achievement By the end of this session you will be able to: Select an appropriate conflict resolution style based on your need to get maximum results Have we achieved this? Relay Application Confirmed When can you use the conflict resolution styles discussed in this session? How useful is the 6-Step formula and where do you think you can use it most?