Cheap Rate ✨➥9582086666▻✨Call Girls In Gurgaon Sector 10 (Gurgaon)
A little peak into the world of online dating!
1. A MONTH IN THE
LIFE OF A DIGITAL
DATER
After spending years living in the trenches of online dating, I started to feel like I was a hamster
on a wheel; working my tail off to no end. From app to app, date to date, I wasn’t breaking through
to anything truly meaningful OR deep. True intimacy seemed to be evading me. I wanted to know
if it was just me and my over 35, hard working, busy schedule keeping me from breaking through.
or was it the prevailing dating resource that I was relying on more and more to meet people that
was the culprit?
Was online dating not just the mechanism I was using to meet new people, but a tool that was
reshaping the way I was interfacing with them, letting them into my space and the stages I go
through getting to know someone? By using what appeared to be better and smarter solutions
to meeting a mate, was I actually regressing or hindering my ability to really connect? To help
scratch the surface of this very large question I decided to do a deep dive in the research on
the subject of love in the hyper-digital age. Not the VHD, telephone or “You’ve got Mail” dating
ages. The instant gratification, hooking up in volume and swipe right dating age. In my attempt
to both remove and leverage bias, I read some amazing academic literature, research papers,
news articles and completed an autoethnography on a month in the life of my dating experiences
online.
The following is the journal style autoethnography, the trends and insights I learned during the
process and some monumental dating Do’s and Dont’s to help you navigate the vast world of
online dating.
RACHEL NOONANSTRATEGIC FORESIGHT AND INNOVATION (MDES)
OCAD University / Summer 2015 Independent Study
2. OVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME
ES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME N
OVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME
ES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME N
OVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME
ES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME N
OVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME
ES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME N
OVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME
ES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME N
OVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME
ES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME N
OVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME
ES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT... HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME N
JOURNAL
Gary
ANDREW
JOEL
PAUL
GREG
ERIK
STEVE
CALVIN
3. Whether they were there lurking in the shadows in the past or not, they are front and centre now.
There is Thrinder, dating for threesomes, Like3, another app for dating threesomes, and fetish sites
for pretty much anything you can imagine. You can date on Reddit, Craigslist, Tinder and many more.
So how is it that someone who was born in and around technology can suck so bad at using it and all
its bespoke applications to find love?
To this end I decided to provide a snapshot of my life dating online to see if it’s just business as usual
on romantic relating or if we need to look at a full remodel around the way we connect, share and
love in 2015 and beyond. Or perhaps it’s just me and I should go back to pen and paper.
It’s Tuesday afternoon and my Hinge dating app notification pops up on my phone. I click through
and take a look at one of the messages “Gary” has sent through.
I take a look at his profile and start the process of elimination by judgement. I think to myself:
Ok, he’s cute. Does he have a job? Does he live in the city? Are there any signs of misogyny in his
profile? ‘Oh, he’s balding’ rolls through my head. Mmm, looks like he has a few too many pictures of
himself (Narcissist flag).
I keep going to ensure I’ve covered all the bases.
Ok, so he works for a financial company. He’ll work too much, be way too focused on money and will
like the arts because he has to.
Gary is automatically deleted. Within 30 seconds I have made sweeping judgements about a person
I
t starts with a swipe...or a click or the press of a like button. Then it moves onto profile scanning
and maybe if they fit the bill, a brief introduction message or if you aren’t sure yet if you want to
make direct contact, you put them in your “like” folder. This could be said of the initial flow of
anyone’s experience with online dating and to many is already somewhat normalized behaviour.
Just because something seems normalized does not mean that it is or even should be. There is a
phenomenon reshaping the way I am dating and making it even harder to make a real connection in
a world that’s moving at lightning speed.
I am 35, single, working in marketing and haven’t had what you might call a substantial relationship
for….five years. I have dated like a champ. I’ve invested in many and have lost, rather than gained a
piece of myself with the last five years of dating. Along with being a cliche 35 year old intense female
living in the vortex of the city in a soft loft with eclectic furniture that Tyler Durden from Fight Club
would set on fire, I consider myself a digital native. I have a polaroid of me and my brother that is a
computer screen shot of an 8 bit stick figure digital rendering of us. I was on a bulletin board system
(BBS) as a teenager. We had a computer room in the house (which wasn’t really normal. My mom was
a technical writer for software). I had a cell phone in high school. I took “cyberarts”in high school. I
took my first MacBook apart when it broke to see what was in there. I have been and will probably
always be a digital enthusiast. The freedom, access and connected world we live in as a result of
wires, wifi and wavelengths is mind bending.
What it has done to the world of dating has forever changed the way we relate. Yes, people fell in
love over morse code and there were sexy pen pals and a myriad of other ways that people shared
their passions, fetishes and sexual proclivities back in the day. Does that mean there were millions
and millions of perverts and sexual adventurers traversing the lands with no outlet to find their
communities, no microphone to share their stories, and no platform to share the gospel?
Hey, how are you?
4. I don’t know. I’ve compartmentalized, generalized and made assumptions based on my interactions
with people that represent his data sets in totality or in isolation. Is this right? In a world like Hinge
or OkCupid the only way to survive is to commodify and attempt to find a good fit amongst the
seemingly well suited abundance of options.
I am somewhat conditioned at this point, so I continue to the next message, which at least has a bit
of personalization to it:
I was going to go with: you’re so hot you could melt the homes of polar bears.
But I know you wouldn’t do that. And even in you did, the polar bears would understand. But I figured
you deserved better.
I am going to guess he probably copy and pastes that message into multiple girls inboxes and hopes
for the best. I bite and we start chatting.
His name is “Andrew” and his profile is a hit. We are the same age, he works in tech and loves the
arts. I scan his pictures and the flags start to go up. He’s alone in all of them, not one of them is
straight on shot of him in all his glory. You get angles and artsy photos and a few clear ones that
are from about 20 feet back. Picture fraud is a real issue on dating sites and it’s in these moments
when you decide if this person is misrepresenting who they are in 2015. I decide to continue the
conversation and we talk on and off for a few days. Inertia sets in and we go nowhere. Conversations
become filler and as the pattern goes for many with online dating, it just fades. Fades off into the
ether that consists of hundreds of mediocre conversations, one time meetings and near meets
that get cancelled last minute because something “came up”. We start off our first interactions
with these potential soul mates with such a casual introduction that also involves talking to others
simultaneously, it is no wonder we forget there is a person with a life and a schedule and kids and
jobs on the other side. Maybe we acknowledge, but do we care as much anymore knowing there is
that “infinite” pool waiting for us just a swipe away.
Wednesday morning is the next day of the rest of my dating life. In addition to Hinge, I am also on
OkCupid and Happn. It can’t hurt to diversify, right?
I decide to open OkCupid to see if any of the messages I sent out had been returned. One guy “Joel”
has responded.
I deleted the message quicker than I could read it. There is still a weird stigma around online dating
that even the people on the sites engage with an undercurrent of embarrassment as they navigate
the digital dating waters. It angers me and I want to collect all the profile headings of body copy that
say things like “Willing to lie about where we met” or “Reluctantly trying this online thing” or the
creme de la creme “My friend made me put this profile up”. In one breathe, the new world of online
dating has been spoofed in SNL, has given millions upon millions of people happy endings, yet “Phil”
who works as a general manager for a hotel chain will “Never tell if you don’t”. It’s one of the many
contradictions to online dating that will hopefully just filter out as more and more use different
virtual platforms to connect with lovers, life partners and other intimate relationships that were once
born from a school dance a family set up or in the smoky bar room of a bar.
The rest of Wednesday is a wash until later in the evening I get a great message from a man that
Hey Rachel, nice to meet you. You look like a ton of fun. Why are you on OkCupid? Do you really need to be?
How’s your night going?
5. appears to have all the right markers. His name is “Paul”, he’s a furniture designer and a man’s man.
From his profile, you can’t get too much information, but his tone, candor and playfulness paint a
picture of a man who’s curious, kind and very creative. His initial message is quite lovely and within a
few messages we make plans to meet; a walk in the park and maybe some food if we make it past the
walk. We lock in plans, then I head out for dinner with Susan, a good friend. We are both single and as
always, the dating topic always makes an appearance.
What’s going on with the dating life? Susan says.
I pull out OkCupid and open to ‘Paul’s’ profile, hand it to her and say,
That’s happening Friday.
I start to give her the details of our convo and a mischievous smile suddenly appears on her face. I
stop mid sentence and say,
What? Do you know him?
To which she replies,
Pretty sure I slept with him...yup, that’s him. We went out a few months ago. He slept over, and it was...
well…..he woke up in the middle of the night and kicked back half my bottle of Tylenol 3’s, then in the
AM was looking for any painkiller he could get his hands on. We didn’t drink that much when we hung
out, so I could only deduct he was probably a recreational drug user who needed a fix. So needless to
say, we didn’t see each other again….ever.
My date with Paul is immediately cancelled. As in real life, there are men and women who will “say”
they are looking for a relationship, when in reality they are drifting through life, from bed to bed still
figuring out exactly is it they want.
Online, they will often hide under the veil of looking for a real connection, only to be laser focused on
the now and the me, not the future and the we. In a heartbeat, the potential of hitting it off with Paul
and the unknown was gone. The small candle that was lit was out, as with many previous dates and
near connections.
One thing to note is I’ve never dated this much. In my 20’s, yes, the world was more casual and there
were many men who came in and out of my life, but there was never as active a pursuit as there
is now. This doesn’t seem relegated to the 30 plus set. I know colleagues and friends in their 20’s
that are power dating; often two dates in one day. There is this desire for more. More options, more
stories, more anecdotes. It feels as though the intended goal of finding a partner is getting lost in the
entertainment factor of it all. The more dates you have, the more stories to share with your friends or
reasons to buy a new outfit, try a new restaurant or activity.
So the pursuit continues and I come across “Greg”. He has sent me a message that tells me that not
only did he actually read my profile, but he understood a lot of my cinephile type movie references.
He opens with:
His profile is instantly attractive and has me excited. He’s in green tech, loves movies and seems to
be pretty easy going. He hits all the markers, including the ones I would never filter someone through
I agree that Terrence Malick is more of a photographer than a filmmaker.
6. attracted to each other right away, to like each other right away and to jive before even knowing the
person. Yes, there are many instances where you meet someone and there is a magnetic attraction
that brings you together. That magnetic attraction is also often times a serious dose of pheromones
which wear off and set the stage for many early separations and divorces. Maybe that speed isn’t just
the new access to a catalogue of men and women; maybe it’s age? Maybe it’s impatience? Maybe
it’s a fatigue that’s come over so many who have put their hearts and minds through the ringer in the
hopes that one will stick…..one will work. We organize our list and treat it like ordering furniture for a
new apartment or shoes off Ebay. But it’s not that easy. It’s messy and can hurt so deeply, it stops us
from breathing and living for brief moments.
We are in a world where society has turned the sacred connection people make with each other into
sensationalized TV shows like The Bachelor and Dating Naked. We have commodified love in every
way and now we ourselves are furthering that by swiping and clicking through potential life partners
as a pastime before bed. And yet, with all this swirling through my head, I march on through the
valley of the shadow of doubt thinking maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe I’m just too sensitive.
Erik is the next potential partner and as with most previous initial connections, we follow the
structure:
in real life.
As I am getting to know “Greg”, I think about my ex boyfriend’s and how they would fare being put
through the new hyper narrow online filter. Most wouldn’t make it. They would be too short, too
young, too passive, not funny enough, not enough of a risk taker. They would have been sent through
and spit out the filter in a heartbeat; yet these men have had lifelong profound affects on me and
the life I live. Their patience, perspective and approaches to life have made me a better person. So
if I, along with millions of others, are adopting these new hyper superficial filters, is the quality and
diversity of relationships changing for the worse? Is the necessity of having to apply our own filters
to the vast and seemingly infinite online dating landscape actually hindering us in our pursuit of
partnership or is it just human nature mirroring what we do in our day to day life? For myself, I can
see and feel my actions and judgement levels changing and I don’t know if I like it, yet I continue
digging deeper into the digital dating ether hoping for that Halley’s comet to blaze by and set me
on fire.
Greg makes it to the real world dating sphere and he’s rad. Great guy, loves culture, taking changes
and is a total gentleman. We both seem to enjoy each other’s company, but there is a timidness to
our interactions. I think to myself “is it the way we met?” Maybe starting in the impersonal space to
the personal creates a layer you have to break through in the initial first meetings. I let the theories
ping pong in my brain as we go on date after date, until intimacy becomes a large question mark
staring us right in the face. So we get drunk thinking a little social lubricant will do the trick….and it
does not. After a few more awkward dates, we realize that we are not attracted to each other, but
make awesome friends.
This experience brought a new revelation to the lightening speed in which we are dating and
copulating; we set the expectations so high and expect so much right off the bat. We want to be
How are you?
What are you up to?
How long have you been online?
Where are you from?
What is your day job?
7. I am speechless. I’ve met and spoken to men who are, struggling artists, hedge fund managers,
construction workers, ice cream business owners, systems administrators, insurance company
owners, corporate sales people, former army sergeants, coffee shop floor staff, many of them have
careers that don’t necessarily line up with my core values or don’t display obvious ambition, but
Eriks’ career forced me to reflect in a very visceral way around the question of holistic compatibility.
There is a reason why people in finance tend to date people in the arts or in the medical field. They
can identify and sympathize with each other’s career woes and roadblocks. Erratic schedules are
understood and you can lean on your partner for direction and advice that has real context. But it
goes deeper than that. What you do matters to many. Many people in this world want to make a real
difference or substantial contribution to society and our careers are what we spend the majority of
our time on. So why don’t any of the dating sites makes this a priority in the vetting process? With a
site like OkCupid, they believe they have the societal and value question addressed in their ongoing
questionare that’s suppose to increase the value of your matches as you answer more questions. But
what provides more insight about someone than what they have decided to dedicate their entire or
a good portion of their lives to? They do it day in and day out and it shapes them, shapes their lives
and the company they keep. This is major flaw in the online dating matrix. We all know for many a job
is a means to an end and many work to live. That’s fine, but why not give the audience the chance
to see and know that with more emphasis placed on it in the interface? Understanding we want to
leave something to discover about each other in person, maybe it’s an anecdote or a quick blurb that
addresses what work means to you in the grand scheme of your whole life. Perhaps something like:
Needless to say, I told Erik I needed time to absorb his career path and I never heard from him again.
Everything was rolling beautifully at first, he’s progressive, talking about politics was easy and he’s got
a bunch of fun tattoos that we chat about. Then we broach the work question and I let him know I am
in marketing. Erik responds with:
I am—at first—in disbelief. Did he just say “Riot Guns”? Like riot in the streets when there is a
political or social uprising “Riot Guns”? Without hesitation, my mind categorizes him—right wing,
capitalist whose life is all about making things that kill people. Before deleting his profile and trying
to forget he exists, I ask him:
Erik immediately responds with:
Ah, I used to be in your line of work. That’s dynamite and fun stuff to be involved in for sure. I’m taking over
the family manufacturing business - been a machinist, currently head of business development / sales.
Recently got us into the firearms market - we’re now the largest manufacturer of riot guns outside of the
US. Pretty interesting stuff.
Can you expand a bit on riot guns? Are they regular guns, do they shoot rubber bullets? Do they ever shoot
real bullets?
As for riot guns, I just got us the sole contract to manufacture these:
https://www.google.ca search?q=arwen+gun&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CC MQsARqFQo
TCNyty_Tl1McCFYYaPgod0AIFJQ&biw=1680&bih=913#imgrc=t4EoZPrwc_wX6M%3A
We also do custom Glock 17 and 22 slides for police, tac teams, and military. Pretty cool because I’m lead
designer on them - and I’m a publishing author by trade. Whoever said jack of all trades, master of none
wasn’t trying hard enough in my eyes.
My job matters, but my family matters more.
My work and home life live symbiotically. I’m proud of my work and want to share it with my partner.
8. For all the long term online chats and near meetings that get cancelled at the last minute or
something comes up like:
There are people you meet and get right down to in-person meeting immediately. This happened
with “Steve”. We swiped, we talked and we met up. It was quick and simple; the way it should be.
I won’t go into too much detail about my brief dating experience with “Steve”, but I bring “Steve” up
to highlight another flaw in the matrix that may never be fixed. Steve was a talented artist who at
first glance, seemed like a very interesting person. His art is unique and speaks to society’s patterns
and sedentary behaviours in interesting ways. He’s well spoken and is a city boy at heart. When I say
boy, I mean a 42 year old man who had a very secure career working in education and architectural
planning until recently, when he decided to ditch his comforts to pursue art full time. When we
met, it had been two years since he left the “world of work”. He was in the process of completing
one art piece-already going on one year-and took odd jobs to pay the rent as well as AirBnB’d his
government subsidized art space to city visitors.
I know how long it takes for inspiration to strike, so I roll with it. We hang out, we get to know each
other and after a few weeks, we sleep together. The sex is good, but there is a feeling of automation
that bears a resemblance to that of the online dating process where we’ve both been doing this
long enough to know the quickest route to satisfying our companions immediate needs. Post coital
Steve expresses no desire to work a paid gig. When I ask what he will do when his contract gig ends,
he says, “I’ll just live off credit”. As time moves forward with Stevie, all the pieces to his identity are
revealed. I discover he’s a fatalist, a nihilist, a government supported art student and a recreational
hard drug user who talks in his sleep. His art isn’t created with the purpose to prompt conversation
and change, he creates because he loves living in the negative. After awhile, I stop responding to his
texts and he stops sending them.
There are many questions that arose from my time with Steve. Could any of this have been avoided
if I had met Steve through friends? Would their intimate knowledge of him helped save both of us
a lot of time knowing we aren’t compatible? Should we have applied a “no sex rule” until we got to
know each other? In the way that many relationships blossom out of friendship, did we jump right
into the carnal before we know if the day to day is in the realm of possibility? Does the established
intention to lead to serious dating right off the bat negatively affect our brain’s ability to first see if
we are actually compatible as friends before lovers? Could this whole exchange have happened
exactly as it did had Steve and I met in a coffee shop; looking up and over at each other consumed
by pheromones, becoming instantly attracted knowing nothing about each other like when you click
on someone’s profile?
I am fatigued and discouraged. The groundhog day feeling of trying on different men over and over
wears your emotional and psychological capacity. It is said that there is an addiction to online dating
because the immediate and high yielding likes, messages and views hits the ego in the right spot.
But as Newton’s third law states “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. In this
situation the opposite reaction is the fleeting conversations, the causal nature people engage, the
My friend is in the hospital
I am stuck in Hamilton
Have to work late
Forgot I had other plans
Friend just decided to throw a last minute going away party
9. contradictory way in which people share themselves online and the feeling that you sometimes
aren’t meeting a person, but an edited version of who they really are. Do you really blame them?
There are books, websites and YouTube pages dedicated to helping people craft the perfect profile to
get the most responses. Their intentions aren’t bad, but the results are rarely as they desire.
Looking for some inspiration , I watch the TED talk about hacking the online dating world. I read
Dataclysm by Christian Rudder, the co-founder of OkCupid. Instead of inspiration, I get more stats
on the commodification of love, lust, sexuality and sensuality. I need to get off the grid. I turn off my
apps for a mental and emotional repose.
One week later, I hear from a friend who just moved to Chicago that she just met the coolest guy on
a Hinge. She’s on cloud nine and has such lovely things to say about this gentleman. He’s chivalrous,
fun, artistic and business minded. He sails and loves going to comedy clubs. Similar to when you
have no memory of a severe injury and you blindly do the same activity that caused said injury, I find
grab my phone, download Hinge and begin exploring - throwing myself right back into the dating
game.
This last character in this chapter of my online dating life could be my last. Could be the love of
my life? We meet on Hinge and immediately hit it off! His name is “Calvin”. He’s a tech nerd and
immediately starts schooling me on the hottest devices and the coolest apps. We get along and are
instantly comfortable with each other. He’s funny, charming and caring. He loves art, motorcycles and
is successfully self employed. We are several conversations in and everything is pointing to awesome
when all of a sudden we go from what is your favorite movie? to:
FUCK. That’s Calvin asking the question, not me, incase you are wondering. My response:
OK—of course I knew the general direction he was leaning, but since I’ve been online dating for a
LONG time, I like to see how someone will bring out their “other” side. I’ve met multiple polyamorous
couples, couples looking to spice things up, men lying about being a couple, men looking for
dominatrixes and men with some very, very interesting fetishes. All that being said, not being vanilla
could be one of 31 Baskin and Robin flavours, so I proceeded with caution,
As if he had the paragraph pre-written and ready to press send, as quickly as I pressed reply, he hit
me with:
I get it. It makes sense and I’ve heard this before from many amazing partners who struggle with the
evolution of their relationships in and outside the bedroom, so I respond with,
... still not knowing exactly where he would land.
How do you feel about being tied up?
Are you vanilla?
Please Elaborate?
Well, I’ve lived an exciting life and am open to new adventures. What does vanilla mean to you?
In my day to day, I get bored and need inspiration. I was married before and we had the most boring sex
life. She didn’t like getting head. She didn’t want to try new things and we grew apart quickly because that
part of our relationship wasn’t being nurtured.
What does inspiration mean to you?
10. So I am partly turned on and partly confused. Before even before meeting “Calvin”, I know these
epically intimate details about what arouses him, and also the main reason his 11 year marriage
ended. I know that on weekends and hell, maybe even weeknights, he’s walking into a dark and sexy
club, probably outfitted with a private unmarked entrance where he checks in and checks out some
leather and chrome equipment for the night to keep himself inspired.
Should we know these things right off the bat? Where is the discovery. Where are the layers like
an onion where as you get to know someone, the layers come back as you get closer and closer to
them. I feel like Christian from Fifty Shades would have had much better luck if he just waited a few
more weeks. Some will say with such a polarising personal life activity, it might be better to just get it
out in the open, but what about people who haven’t yet tried their hand at a little pony play or tantric
sex? Rather than take a Mack truck and drive it at them 60 kmph, hoping they will jump on like they
are in an action flick, get a small pedal bike and swing by their place to see if they want to go out for
some ice cream; once you’ve arrived, then you can ask what flavour they want.
I’m not opposed or against Calvin’s sexual proclivities. I am actually rather intrigued, but his hyper
focus on that being the main priority in a relationship we don’t yet have, actually turns me off. He
doesn’t want to get to know if we are compatible or even sexually attracted to each other. He is on
the hunt for an “object” to fit his needs and I would rather a healthy and non vanilla sex life be the
result of a healthy relationship that fosters adventure seeking. I respectfully let him know I am not
interested and move onto the next batch of prospects.
From this point on in my quest to find love, I am considering going dark. I wonder what would happen
if I took all the energy I am putting into my dating profiles, picture selection, scanning men’s profiles,
first dates, confusion about who should pay for what, and time and put that into the real world.
What if there was a coffee shop where everyone was single? A board game cafe where the price
of entry was your name on a board with your profile so people can approach you in real life? Not a
professional dating service that charges you 10K to meet your mate, just a space that brings daters
together to co-mingle and maybe chat over coffee and Connect 4. Chat about the weather, the
politics of the moment and who loves or loathes T Swift. In our quest to find the one(s), we seem to
have taken the most important thing out of the equation. The thing that binds and connects and
leaves a lasting impression. There are varying levels of it and it can be everlasting, fleeting or for a
brief moment. I myself am going to try and find it again and hope I haven’t lost it in the data sets,
clicks and algorithms. I hope I haven’t lost the love.
I am a member of a private sex club where I like to partake in collaring, light spankings and other activities
in that vain. I love when a women is secure enough in our relationship that she can give me control and
know I will push, but never too far. I’ve learned, after 11 years of marriage, it’s exclusively not about the
act, it’s about all the details. The fingers pushing against the nape of her neck or the abandon she can feel
when someone else is controlling her and giving her a little pain and a lot of pleasure at the same time. It’s
visceral, physical and mental simultaneously.
11. COMMODIFICATION
UBLIC EXPLORATION
INERTIA
GHOSTING
MISOGYnY SHAMI
INCREASED DATING POOL
TRENDS IN ONLINE DATINGTrends tell us things about ourselves that are often staring us right in the face, but we don’t see. Taking
a moment to reflect on moral trends, service trends and behavioral trends give us a pulse check on the
direction society is heading. Here are a few online dating trends from life, literature and research.
12. TRENDS LEGEND
Behaviour
Service
Moral
Nascent to the space. Consumers are just
starting to show signals.
Emerging
Low consumer awareness, but this trend
is having a direct effect on 30% plus of the
population.
Tipping Point10% adoption 30% adoption
It’s becoming a more generally adopted trend
amongst consumers.
Mature
Commonly known to the average consumer. If
someone was asked if they recognize the name
of the trend, it would be familiar to them.
Very Mature40%-60% adoption
60%+ adoption
TRENDS MATURITY
The medium is the message.
The way we move, act and engage.
What we believe is wrong and right here and now.
14. 1. COMMODIFICATION
The need to turn people into products by necessity based on the high volume of options being
presented, causing an overload and difficulty focusing. This trends involves people consciously and
subconsciously filtering out partners based on monetary, social and physical traits that would not be
viewed as a deficit in the real world. From a few extra pounds to education to wardrobe, the “Filters”
we are applying to online dating is defining our “ideal: markers for a mate that weren’t primary factors
previously.
People who are more revealing in their online dating profile pictures get more messages. (5)
People that are rated more attractive get up to 90 % more messages. (5)
Software that programs bots to scan dating site profiles 24 hours a day have been growing in
numbers over the last two years. (18h)
Instagram accounts like BYEFELIPE highlight men objectifying women with hostile and violent
tones. (4i)
Women rated as highly attractive get 28 times more messages than women rated on the lower end
of the hotness curve. (5)
SIGNALS
Since humans could see we have been categorising and assessing people though a visual lens. In
2015, we have taken to hyper-commodifying everything from physical attributes, social standing,
education, likes, dislikes and many other things. Currently 15% of relationships start online, and the
number grows every year. If we continue down the commodification path, it could impact the depth
of intimacy we are able to have with our partners. The primary filter to our interactions with people
will not be chemistry, or friends to help with the matching process, it will be a quantification of how
many dating markers they meet through our online criteria. This is dangerous because humans are
flawed. We are imperfect creatures that don’t always display the best suitability from the onset, but
could be the perfect match for a person whos filter is too narrow to let the unlikely in. The unlikely
that could end up being a great life partner, friend and confidant.
IMPLICATIONS
15. 2. GHOSTING
The pervasive act where one dater ends a relationship by disappearing. The ghost does not give
an explanation of any sort, leaving the ghosted wondering where he or she went wrong. It is the
evolution of ending dates by phone, text message or by written word that has been taking place
since dating was a convention. In the past, we broke up with people in person, via phone and
sometimes by written letter. We then added via social media channels, emails and text and now
people are just disappearing. They delete connected social media profiles, don’t accept phone calls,
texts or emails and cease all communication with the other party. Often people will go to the length
of changing their social media profile names, change their phone numbers and block ex-partners
phone numbers.
People dating for longer periods of time before getting serious (3d)
Polls show about 11 percent of Americans has ghosted someone. (20h)
16.7 percent of men and 24.2 percent of women had been ghosts at some point in their lives. (17h)
SIGNALS
In an effort to preserve our own happiness and emotional stability, we are increasingly ridding
ourselves of all empathy we would normally have for a partner during the break up process. If we can
avoid sharing pain, why wouldn’t we? By engaging with potential partners in the same way we order
food, we have begun to introduce a sterility into the world that was almost exclusively emotional.
Rather than sitting with a person to explain how they feel and talk through the process with their
partner, they are opting for complete and total abandonment from what could have been a strong
and reciprocal exchange of emotions and vulnerability between two people. The normal empathy we
would feel for a partner we are dating when we want to part ways is morphing and they are turning
into a profile or a commodity.
People may become more ambivalent and distrustful amongst daters if ghosting continues to
increase in occurrence. Fear of rejection in the average person is normal; add to that the potential
of allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open with someone, only to be rejected with no empathy,
explanation from the other party. It is almost certain people will adapt to preserve their emotional
stability, taking us further apart rather than closer together.
IMPLICATIONS
16. 3. Misogyny shaming
The public act of calling men out for their hyper-misogynistic behaviour on dating sites. With the
diversification of how people are using technology as a tool for dating, there has been a new use for
it to create a public forum for men’s behaviour in the online dating space. Instagram handles like Bye
Felipe and a myriad of Reddit pages are a repository of posts from men not getting the responses
they want, then turning hostile, degrading women for their looks, sexual activities and personal lives.
Bye Felipe has 356 thousand followers, Facebook conversations, books are addressing the trend.
(19h)
Tumblr accounts dedicated to publicizing sexist, misogynistic men who objectify women, double
standards, systemic sexisim and. (5i)
National Talk shows such as Last Week with John Oliver dedicating large segments to the
pervasive online misogyny. (2g)
SIGNALS
This is not new behaviour, but has increased in it’s presence over decades and decades of being
nurtured by marketing and advertisements depicting women as objects and men as the aggressor,
saviour controller. This behaviour is systemic, but ironically, the open internet has exposed the
behaviour in a way that could be used to help shift the conversation and move to into a direction of
accountability.
The act of publicizing the derogatory and negative actions of this group of people spurr’s the
conversation around the topic and creates more awareness. It empowers women who have in the
past passively endured direct or indirect misogyny. If this trend continues, it will ideally set the stage
for younger men and women to look at each other as people, equals, and sexual beings.
IMPLICATIONS
17. 4. INCREASED DATING POOL
The increase in channels people are using to access potential partners has increased the volume of
people we have access to date. From web based platforms like Match.com, eHarmony, and OkCupid
to apps such as Happn, Tinder, and Hinge, people now have access to hundreds of thousands of
more people they can connect with.
The launch of dating Applications such as: Hinge, HAPPN, Tinder, Private dating Facebook Groups,
Thrinder and others are being launched monthly.
One-in-five adults ages 25-34 years old have used online dating, but it’s also popular with older
singles, too. (2d)
Global online dating sites reporting millions of users. Tinder alone generated one billion matches,
800m swipes and 10m matches per day, as well as 300 marriage proposals. 5% of Australia’s
population had a Tinder profile at that point. (1h)
The increase of people signing up for online dating sites. In 2010, it was estimated that one out of
every five couples got together through online dating. (8)
SIGNALS
Since the birth of technology, dating has always found a way to leverage the different innovations
that connected us with each other, but we are now at a stage where “The medium is the message”
couldn’t be more relevant.
This trend is under scrutiny. Numbers reported by dating sites are skewed and have been proven
to publish false numbers that include inactive users and often users whose accounts have been
deleted, but the dating sites keep them on file. If you take the volume of people online, there is a
larger sum of people to select from than your immediate physical social network. That being said,
if you personally analyze all those people, a fraction of them actually fit your criteria (Source: Amy
Webb: How I hacked online dating.
It could be said that all these people finding love online would have otherwise found love elsewhere.
If this trend continues without some critical changes in sub categorization, specialization and some
more honest numbers, daters will become disillusioned and fatigued with the process of engaging
with, spending time getting to know and ultimately investing time that returns no compatible
partner. This process turns them off the active participation in dating and will affect their success
and willingness to be vulnerable. There is also the consideration of corporate interest in keeping
you coming back to the sites. Relationships should be our own, but what happens when companies
have monetary incentives around how they are formed, their sustainability and overall success when
those companies businesses rely on growth?
IMPLICATIONS
18. 5. Public exploration of
“Taboo” sexual activities
The meteoric rise of online dating along with apps around the world has given people a space to find
like minded people and a voice to explore their desires in a public forum. Sexuality at varying levels,
fetishes and personal proclivities have been stigmatized for decades. This trend helps to expose the
otherwise behind closed doors topics to an audience who may not share their interests, but will now
know that these sexual activities aren’t as niche and rare as they once thought.
Young groups of people organizing orgies through Tinder. (22h).
Movies like Fifty Shades of Grey are international best sellers.
Personal sex toys are gaining in popularity such as the Symbian. (16h)
The rise of the polyamorous relationship. (9)
10 to 15 percent more people are having casual sex in 2012 than in 1996. (15h).
Men identifying as gender neutral and engaging in bisexual relations.
SIGNALS
For decades, there have been fetish sites, specific sites for particular personal sexual desires, but
only recently have there been open sites like OkCupid, Tinder, Plenty of Fish and others that are
contributing to the normalization of sexual desires and preferences that were once taboo, illegal,
judged and misunderstood.
There are negative and positive effects of this trend; positive effect have been the dialogue that’s
opened up about things like sexual masochism, role playing, bi-sexuality, being transgendered, a
cross dresser or a variety of other personal preferences, some of which are regarded as disorders.
As more people go public about their preferences, others feel the support and follow suit, educating
communities that the preferences might not be as niche as once thought. The negative effect of this
trend could be that the “taboo” preferences become a novelty and along with the time given in the
mainstream media. When the apps lose their subscriber base, the microphone they had to talk and
connect with their communities, the conversation might be compromised, reduce or end. Ideally
more mainstream platforms take on the conversations such as Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, etc to help
the process of normalizing these behaviours as opposed to vilifying those who identify with and by
them.
IMPLICATIONS
19. 6. INERTIA
The hyper-high volume and speed at which we are able to date now is causing inertia. People are
becoming fatigued from meeting high levels of people and giving each of them energy, attention,
intention and some of their intimacy. The repetitive nature of the process along with the fact that
people are coming to the realization that the “matches” they are being presented with aren’t very
accurate is affecting people’s commitment and effort on their online dating profiles.
• Two-thirds of all male messages are written to the same one-third of women on Okcupid. (5)
• There is a rise of business that create bots that will scan dating profiles and send pre-written
messages to people. (14h)
• Data showing a large percentage of online daters automate their messages. “At one point I had sent
about 30,000 Kiss messages to female members in one 24 hour period,” Eros, IT security guy by trade.
(14h)
• The founder of Kip creates an app that LIKES every girl on Tinder to increase his odds.
SIGNALS
If the online dating fatigue trend continues, people will start to look for alternatives. This could mean
the birth or renaissance of other kinds of dating services; single’s parties, vacations, speed dating,
etc. This trend indicates that the sheer volume of options is overwhelming for the average person.
This trend is a negative and could further the mentality of commodifying each other in the process
of trying to create an intimate connection. It could also cause people to go off of online dating
sites because people will feel like they aren’t making genuine connections and be wondering if the
messages they are receiving are authentic or automated.
IMPLICATIONS
20. Spending months and months learning the nuances and intricacies of the online dating world has been
insightful and amazing. Fusing together those “in the weeds” experiences, months of research and some
amazing pieces of data from books and academic literature, I have gathered some key pieces information to
help those in the pursuit of a partner. These do’s and don’ts are researched, certified and I will offer a money
back guarantee if you follow these and they don’t improve your online dating life. *Money back guarantee is
figurative. I will not be giving you money, but am 100% confident the below details will help.
THE ULTIMATE DOs AND DON’Ts*
21. DOs
The ideal length of a first message is two hundred characters, and you should never use text-speak.
Personalize and add humor. (8)
KEEP IT SHORT
If you sell yourself with sex, then the context you will most likely be engaged with is sex (2) striking
sexual poses is a very good strategy for achieving increased message volume. Photos showing the
woman doing something interesting, however, such as playing the guitar or scuba diving or walking
through a desert, are more likely to lead to actual conversations, Rudder points out, rather than just
“Hey, nice rack,” which is unlikely to get a reply. (5)
Set the context carefully
iPhone users report having more sex than BlackBerry and Android users. (5)
GET AN IPHONE
You would think this one is obvious but people are still hiding their faces and saying things like “I am
a professional who can’t share his/her identity on here. I can share pictures privately”. What is the
difference anymore of meeting someone in a bar vs online. Online you get to save a little money and
the 2:00AM beer goggles can be avoided.
Post Pictures
If you like to drink a lot, be honest. If you are afraid of dogs, be honest. If you don’t like the movie
Zoolander, be honest. The worst thing you can do is create a false perception of who you are, only to
have to live the lie of watching Zoolander over and over for the rest of your relationship.
BE HONEST
22. DON’ts
Don’t commit picture fraud, “fib” about your life or god forbid your height. The gig will be up the
minute you meet your potential mate and that deceit, although not malicious or major, will tell the
person you aren’t trustworthy. *Online daters are, on average, two inches shorter and 20 percent
poorer than their profiles claim—Don’t be that “person”.
LIE
If you sell yourself with sex, then the context you will most likely be engaged with is sex (2) striking
sexual poses is a very good strategy for achieving increased message volume. Photos showing the
woman doing something interesting, however, such as playing the guitar or scuba diving or walking
through a desert, are more likely to lead to actual conversations, Rudder points out, rather than just
“Hey, nice rack,” which is unlikely to get a reply. (2) Rudder, C. (November 15, 2014(. Dataclysm: Who
We are When We Think No One’s Looking. Toronto. Random House Canada.
Emotionally purge through wifi
To level the playing field, start your first date dutch.
Set expectations
Almost 42 million adults in the U.S. have been married more than once, up from 22 million in 1980.
Would you not date a divorcee in real life or is your brain trying to make the online search easier
because there are sooooo many people? Probably the latter. Take a chance on people. You never
know!
LIMIT YOURSELF
False abundance or false matches quote “The most frequently cited basis for compatibility is
similarity- as eHarmony believes. But similarity between two people can have as much to do with the
relationship satisfaction as with actual similarity. Second, there is no clear consensus on what kinds
of similarity matter. Page 55, Love in the Time of Algorithm. Eli Finkel, Northwestern University (5)
LOOK FOR THE HIGHEST MATCH
One-third of people who have used online dating have never actually gone on a date with someone
they met on these sites. If you really want to meet someone, try and move from chatting to an in
person meeting within a week if your schedule permits.
WASTE TIME
Firstly, it puts people with low social media presence at an automatic deficit before the date.
Secondly, it can distort your view of a person before you meet them in person. Meet first, then social
stalk later.
FACESTALK
23. EPILOGUE
We are approaching a period of time when relationships are ready to go through a major redesign.
The current paradigm isn’t working. People are unsatisfied in love; people are struggle to make
relationships work in this world of hyper stimulation and divorce rates still remain around 50%.
If youth illiteracy rates were at 50%, the world would shift on its axis. But when the foundation of
families and partnerships is consistently failing over 50% of the time, we hire more therapists and
host divorce parties.
Although society hasn’t stopped to fully reevaluate the shifting relationship paradigm en mass,
this isn’t a bad thing. When systems break-down, that’s when they change, with or without
societies holistic intervention. The break-down is forcing us to move towards a more evolved
relationship. New expectations, new forms of commitment and new ways of meeting amazing
people.
Accompanying this shift are new ways of dating for a fast paced world. Online dating now counts
for 15% of marriages today (5). Based on the meteoric growth of apps engagement, this number
will continue to rise.
This new relationship paradigm is moving from a resounding focus on the WE to a fine balance
between the ME and the WE. The risk we are running right now is the ME is taking far more
precedence that the WE. We want that peak feeling all the time, and when it’s not there, we’re
not satisfied with what the relationship has become or what the search is giving us, so we look
elsewhere, losing focus, commitment and patience. Online dating is magnifying that desire. Bigger.
Better. Faster. NOW. We need to remember that although these are transitional days of the mating
game, there is a person on the other end of that app. A living, breathing person who is looking for a
real connection.
We need to keep this in mind when dating through digital. The instant gratification, ease of use,
lack of commitment required could reshape our expectations of partnership without us even being
conscious of it. Online dating is a great, amazing tool to reach out into the world and meet people
who could have profound and long lasting effects on your life. But…..before picking your profile
name, your featured photo or connecting your socials to the latest app, think first about what you
want to GIVE and RECEIVE in a relationship and how you want to set the tone for the first moments
that could define a future relationship for a moment, a memory or perhaps a lifetime. Happy Digital
dating!
25. Moore, P. (2014, October 28). Poll Results: Ghosting. YouGov/Huffington Post. Retrieved July 26, 2015 from
https://today.yougov.com/news/2014/10/28/poll-results-ghosting/
Smith, A. Anderson, M. (2014, April 20). Retrieved July 28, 2015 from http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-
tank/2015/04/20/5-facts-about-online-dating/
SURVEY
(1d).
(2d).
Rosalsky, G. (Producer). (2015, June 17). Freakonomics Radio. Make me a match [Audio podcast].
Retrieved from
http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/freakonomicsradio/~5/5QLu-DQznho/freakonomics_podcast061715.mp3
via @Podcast_Addict
PODCASTS
(1e).
Jill Bauer (Producer), & Gradus, R. (Director). Bauer, J. (Director). (2015). Hot Girls Wanted [Documentary].
USA: Netflix.
Khaarle, A. (Producer), & Hristov T. (Director). (2014). Love and Engineering. [ Documentary]. Finland:
Netflix.
MOVIES
(1f).
(2f).
Perel, E. (February 2013). The Secret to desire in a long term relationship. TED Talks [Conference
presentation]. Long Beach: TED Talks. Retrieved from
http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship?language=en
Oliver, J. (2015, June 21). Online Harassment. Last Week with John Oliver. HBO. [Full program excerpt].
Retrieved September 28, 2015 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNIwYsz7PI
YOUTUBE
(1g).
(2g).
Freier, A. (2015, May 21). Tinder mobile app statistics and revenue. The Business of Apps. Retrieved from
http://www.businessofapps.com/tinder-mobile-app-statistics-and-revenue/
Slater, D. (2013, February). A million First Dates. How online romance is threatening monogamy. The
Atlantic. Retrieved July 27, 2015 from
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/01/a-million-first-dates/309195/
Samakow, J. (2014, October). ‘Ghosting:’ The 21st-Century Dating Problem Everyone Talks About, But No
One Knows How To Deal With. Huffington Post. Retrieved July 28, 2015 from
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/30/ghosting-dating-_n_6028958.html
Eastman, A. (2015, July 16). 10 People Open Up About Why They Ghosted In A Relationship. Thought
Catalogue. Retrieved July 29, 2015 from
http://thoughtcatalog.com/ari-eastman/2015/07/10-people-open-up-about-why-they-ghosted-in-a-
relationship/
Hopewell, L. (2014, February 14). How One Man Hacked Dating Site RSVP To Find Love. Gizmodo.
Retrieved August 19, 2015 from
http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2014/02/exclusive-how-to-hack-australias-largest-online-dating-site/
Rosin, H.(2010, August). The End of Men. The Atlantic. Retrieved July 10, 2015 from
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/308135/
Thayer, K. (2014, January 14). Mobile Technology Makes Online Dating The New Normal. Forbes. Retrieved
July 10, 2015 from
http://www.forbes.com/sites/katherynthayer/2014/01/14/mobile-technology-makes-online-dating-the-
new-normal/
Lee, C. (2014, April 18). Everything you need to know about dating on Tinder (and how Canadians are
using it)
.The Global and Mail. Retrieved July 26, 2015 from
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-of-tinder/
article18054683/?page=all
(1h).
(2h).
(3h).
(4h).
(5h).
(6h).
(7h).
(8h).
PEW Research Center. (October 21, 2013). [Online Dating]. [Infographic]. Retrieved July 12, 2015 from
http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/10/21/online-dating-2/
INFOGRAPHIC
(1c).
NEWS ARTICLES
26. (9h).
(10h).
(11h).
(12h).
(13h).
(14h)
(15h).
(16h).
Varon, J. (2014, December 19). This is how we date now. Thought Catalogue. Retrieved August 2, 2015 from
http://thoughtcatalog.com/jamie-varon/2014/12/this-is-how-we-date-now/
Shea, C. (2015). The Bay Street Tinder Diaries: dating in the age of the internet hookup. Toronto Life.
Retrieved August 5, 2015 from
http://www.torontolife.com/informer/features/2015/05/06/bay-street-tinder-diaries-dating-age-internet-
hookup/
Hill, K. (2013, January 14). Five ways technology has allegedly ruined dating. Forbes. Retrieved July 3, 2015
from
http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2013/01/14/five-ways-technology-has-allegedly-ruined-dating/
Sedgi, A. Rogers, s. (2014, February 6). Divorce rates data, 1858 to now: how has it changed?. The
Guardian. Retrieved July 10, 2015 from
http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/jan/28/divorce-rates-marriage-ons
Finkel, E. J., & Karney, B. R. (2012, February 12). The Dubious Science of Online Dating. New York Times. .
Retrieved August 12, 2015 from
Sloan, G. (2014, April). How one guy wooed 2,000 women on Tinder. Adweek. Retrieved August 28, 2015
from http://www.adweek.csom/news/technology/how-one-guy-wooed-2000-women-tinder-156989
Vrangalova,Z. (2014, April 25). casual sex on the rise in America? Psychology Today. Retrieved August 12,
2015 from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/strictly-casual/201404/is-casual-sex-the-rise-in-america
Katigbak, R. (2015, September 23). A Professional Orgasm Whisperer Told Us How to Work a Sex Machine.
Vice News. Retrieved September 23, 2015 from
http://www.vice.com/read/we-asked-a-professional-orgasm-whisperer-how-to-properly-work-a-fuck-
machine
http://go.galegroup.com.ezproxy-library.ocad.ca/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA279753673&v=2.1&u=toro37158&it=
r&p=AONE&sw=w&asid=268be5c8d5b795db5a93dad93de53d1d
(17h).
(18h).
(19h).
(20h).
(21h).
(22h).
Kelly, M. (2015, July 8).
Ghosting: the new trend that’s haunting relationships. MamaMia. Retrieved September 26,2015 from
http://www.mamamia.com.au/lifestyle/ghosting-out-of-relationships/
(2014, March 14). Beating the Tinder Game. Medium. Retrieved September 24, 2015 from
https://medium.com/@blakejamieson/beating-the-tinder-game-4f08c9ec0d80
(2014, November 3). The biggest jerks in online dating, exposed on Instagram. Mashable. Retrieved
August 22, 2015 from
http://mashable.com/2014/11/03/bye-felipe-instagram/#MRv8Kg2m8gqV
(2015, August 18). Dating can be scary enough, but now you have to worry about ghosts too!. Newsfix.
Retrieved September 12, 2015 from
http://cw39.com/2015/08/18/dating-can-be-scary-enough-but-now-you-have-to-worry-about-ghosts-too/
Kite, M. (2015, February 14). Click and flick: romance is being killed off by the brutal marketplace of dating
apps such as Tinder. Spectator, 327(9729), 12+. Retrieved from http://ezproxy-library.ocad.ca/
login?URL=http://go.galegroup.com.ezproxy-library.ocad.ca/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA401492069&v=2.1&u=
toro37158&it=r&p=AONE&sw=w&asid=8a9f84fab3b444e0c943bd3e17c5a23f
Llewellyn Smith, J. (2015, February, 14). The rise of the upmarket orgy. The Telegraph. Retrieved
September 29, 2015 from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/11412894/The-rise-and-rise-of-the-
upmarket-orgy.html
http://oktrends.okcupid.com/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/
http://makelovenotporn.com/
https://instagram.com/byefelipe/?hl=en
WEBSITES
(1i).
(2i).
(3i).
(4i).
Calvin Cheng @calvincheng
DESIGN
2015