1. MISMANAGED ANGER- a parasite for relationships
Relationshipsare giftedbondsendowedtousbyAlmighty.A Relationcouldbe asacredbondlinking
one to theirparentsor spouse orevenfriends.Relationshipsbringpeopletogetherandmake one
passionate andsensitive toproblemsof the otherperson.Emotionsare the sensitiveareaof any
relation.Henceforth,emotionsare notalwayslike the risingsunwiththe positiveemotionsrunning
seamlesslywithoutaboutof negativity.If life isa rollercoastersoisa relationshipandthe reinsof a
relationare heldbyemotions.Everyindividual hasa brightsunnyside anda vindictivegreyside.Itis
alwaysbetterthatthe sunnyside shines asbrightas itcan butit isan unpredictable forebodingif the
greyside startsgettingdarker.
ANGER AS A PARASITE
Angerisa darkemotionthathas rightlybeentermedasaparasite for a relationship.Itmakesa
relationshipdevoidof life andtill thenkeepsattackingthe relationshiptime andagain righttill the
end.The simplestreasonforthisabnormal emotionis the perceptioncastedintoone’smindthat
he/she isbeingexposedtounfairtreatmentmetedtonobounds.
Let itbe clearerwithaninstance or two!Your wife isfranticallysearchingfor yourimportantfile that
couldearn youincentivesandpromotionof the yearandyou start beingsatirical withherand
blamingherforbeingcallous.Donotbe surprisedif she breaksavase or two andfew pots onyour
head.That ismildangerwhichcould hurt yourego .Conclusionissimple youtreatherunfairlyeven
if she is helpingyoudosomethingthatisnot herworkand you start naggingherthat is unfair
treatmentthatyou have inflictedonherandso she is boundtobe lividatyou.Next the “I,me,
myself”centricegowouldnotletherbe the onlyangrycreature and due to ego-clashes youjumpin
and so developsafight. The fightiswhatcouldweakenthe bondsnurturedwithlove andcare
betweenyouandyourwife!
ANGER MYTHS BUSTED
Well manymusthave heardand evenbelievedandpracticallyimplementedthe well knownmyth
“Real menare those who are a Tigerwiththeirwives,HitlerwiththeirkidsandAngryYoungmenfor
theirparentsandsiblingsandsoare the real rulersof the empire theycall home.”Thismythshould
be busted as itis creatinghavocin the livesof many notonlynow but fromyears.Real menare
rightfullythose whohave the gritandheartto face atrocitiesthatcome theirway andcan dare to
smile evenwithdifficultiesinthe way.Well thatmakesaman confidentandincomplete control of
theirsenses.If youcannotcontrol yourbasic emotionof angeryouendup killingeitherrelationships
or your family.Eitherof these will destroyyourlife.
The female generation of this centuryisdaringandoutspokenbutif a womanfeelsalwaysshouting
isthe bestwayto asserther pointwell itstime she goesbacktoSchool.A womanisa beautiful
creationof God. Womenneedtoholdhousesandbe the MotherTeresaof herhouse.Thisdoesnot

2. meana womanhas to be like orthodox beliefshadshapedheryearsbackbut it simplymeanstobe
assertive andtogain respectshe needstobe firminherspeech,thoughts,actionsanddecisions.A
wise mother,sensiblewifeandapractical daughter/sister.
HORRIFYING TALES OF ANGER
The newsisspicedup andalmosteverydaywhere youcan spotsome issue or the otherwhere
angerhas takena monstrousformand has ravagedlivesinthe world.Thisnegativeemotioncan
have terrifyingrepercussions.Trustisthe basisof a relationwhichmightstartgettingdilutedand
thisiswhenthe journeyof the relationtoa deadendcommences. A daughtermightstoptrusting
herfatheror a husbandmightstartmaintainingadistance withhisbetterhalf.Angercan create
feelingof lowself-esteemandmeagre self-confidence whichmightstartattackingthe personalityof
the person.Fora happyspouse angercouldbringunhappytimeswhichcouldleadtolackof
intimacyandseclusionfromeachother.
Angerisnot onlylimitedtothese butcancause psychiatricandothergeneral healthproblemslike
Insomnia,confusion,helplessness,anxiety anddepression.A relationship cannotbe one-sided.Itis
an investmenttobe done byboth sides.Noone personcansave a destructive relationship. Angeris
a hard nut to crack if itcrossesthe unhealthydangermark.If youare justhangingon to someone
because youpeople are meanttobe but he/she makesyoufeel like apublicshame withhis/her
angeroutburststhe anger hasstartedits fatal attack. Otheroutcomesare youcannot be yourself
withhim/herandwhencommunicationlinkbetweenyoustartsbreakingdownthe endof the
relationisquite near.Youmightstart losinginterestinyourbetterhalf oreventhe urge to see them
because theyare too pessimisticwell thatisthe greatdangerbell thathas tolled.
The personsufferingfromuncontrollable angersufferscertainbehavioural changeslike he/she will
become oblivioustohumourandmightexperience flashesof jealousy, resentmentand boutsof
regressionthatkeepsjumpinginandout. These people permanentlydevelopa judgemental
attitude.The people whoare aggressivewouldtendtohave anego-drivenmindsetwhichactually
drivesthemmadat everyone.Theyfeel thattheyare alwaysbeingblamedbythe otherperson.
THE MAGICWAND-ANGER MANAGEMENT
If you identifyyourself somewhere alongthe linesabove orevenknow someone sufferingfromthis
malady“Do not worry!”. Yes!Why do so,it isnot endof the world.Solutionsare forproblemsbutit
isjust that theyare not overtinnature or decoratedona platterlike food.One hastofindthemonly
to getrid of the parasite anger.The magical 2 words are AngerManagementandYes! Theycan save
any relationif itisdone andpracticedin a piousmanner.
Angerintoday’sworldandlifestylecanbe greatlyattributedtostress aswell where fluctuating
economies,economicmeltdown,recessionandhence lackof enoughopportunitiesleadtonegative
and pessimisticemotionslike stress,frustration andtheydonot take muchtime to get converted
intoanger.Ugly makeover!

3. Angermanagementcanbe done invariouswaysbut effectsdifferonindividualbasis.
Feweffectiveangermanagementtechniquesare ashighlighted:
EXCERCISE CANMEND IT ALL
Burn yournegative emotionsatthe gym,in the swimmingpool orinthe sportsarena.
Exercise isa keyto manylockslike stress,healthissuesandAnger .Energyneedstobe channelizedin
the right directionnotinangerexpulsions. Exerciseleadstocertainchemical productioninthe body
whichrelaxesthe bodyhence solvingthe angerproblem.
STOP THE BLAME GAME
Whenyouare angry accept the fact that youmust have blamedeveryone otherthanyourownself.
Change the “You” to “I”. Afterdoingsomethingyoushouldtake the ownershipforyourownfeelings
and actionswhydrag othersinmurkywatersand swampymarshfor whattheyhave not done and
provoke themforclashesfurther.
MEDITATE FOR YOUR INNER SOUL and for POOR SOULSAROUND YOU
It isan excellentwaytoalleviate the managementof misdirectedemotions.Meditationtakesthe
mindto a level thatcan be attainedbytrance but withoutdrugs.The mindbecomesfocussedand
relaxedandsince thissolvesthe angerandstresstypical problemsvariouslifestyle diseaseshave
beenknowntobe cured throughmeditation.
STATE FACTS NOT OPINIONSAND COMPLAINTS
Angerinfightscan be tamedeasily bystickingtocrispfacts and statisticswhatevertheymightbe in
a particularsituation.Angeriswhenopinionsare arguedaroundandcomplaintsare enlisted.It
wouldbe somuch simple tostate a fact that provesinitself whatshouldneverhave beendone.
There justcannot be debatesandargumentsoverfactual datawhichprovesitself lucidly.
THROW THE RIGID YOU IN THE BIN
Be flexibleandagood listenerasothersdo notalwaysknow lessthanyou.Theycouldpossiblybe as
wise asyou or more experiencedthanyoupossiblyare. If youhave rigidbeliefsandfeelingsitwould
not be of anyhelpbutonlymake you a difficultperson.If youare an attentive listenerandone
whose mindisopenforany newopinionsorfactsto be imbibed thenpeople will be drawntowards
you. You will lose the angerelementinyouwhichforcesyourfactsonotherswhetherfor
implementationorevenforlistening.Be empatheticandwithanopenheart embrace whatothers
say if not always.
RENDER THE DIABOLIC BITTER GRUDGE
Forgive andforgetfora happy life.Itisnotthat everyone behavesthe waywe expectthemtowhich
mightleadto conflictsandfights.Individualsare builtdifferentlyandwe needtorealise thatsooner
or later.Holdingonnegative feelings iswhatcouldbe the reasonof angerand otherdiabolicfeelings
rakingup. If youforgive people andgetpositive thenoptimismisalwaysthe solutiontonegative
emotionslike Anger.The aggressionandbottledupangerbothcan be treatedif thisis followedwell.

4. PRACTICE RELAXATION SKILLS
Angeris nota disease onlyalifestyle disorder.ToputthingsinorderRELAX! Easy!Isn’tit? Well itis
actuallya verydifficultthingforpeople whosufferfromthisdisorderona regularbasis.Meditation
isone great thingwhichcouldhelpbutthere are othersalso.A veryeffectiveoptionis listeningto
musicthat issoothingandhas no sharptonesor highpitches. Watchinglighthumourwithout
sarcasm wouldalsorelax the mindandbody.Yoga is an excellentwaytorelax andrectifylifestyle
disorders.Youcouldrelax byjuststayingcalmand repeatingaphrase or quote like “Relaxationisthe
keyto a peaceful life”orimagine acalm scene oranythingthatinspiresyoutorelax.One couldgoin
for basicbreathinginandbreathingoutexercises.
CHANGEYOUR THINKING
Thisis usuallyknownandunderstoodascognitiverestructuringwhichmeansmodifyingyourcertain
mannerismsandtraitsto adopta balancedstate of mind.Stopusingextreme wordslike “never”and
“always”.These wordsmake youfeel there isnosolutiontoyourproblems.KeyFocus onyouractual
goalsneedstobe applied anda rational thinkingwouldbe effectiveinthese situations.
To conclude itshouldbe simple andcrispbefore lettingangerpossessyouwhichispossiblymore
evil thanthe demons,thatcouldpossessyou,manage yourangerinsuch a way that relationsare
keptat bay and come whatmay the basison whichyouestablishrelationsalwaysjuststay!
Alas!Mark Twainquotedthe truth whenhe said
“Angerisan acid that can do more harm to the vessel inwhichitisstoredthanon anythingonwhich
it ispoured”.
Rememberangercanfinishrelations,familiesandlives.The sooneryourealise andtake stockof the
situationthe betteritisfora healthyandhappylife ahead.