Far away from Eden Ep. 9.3,666 : Truth or Dare!
Chapter 9.3,666 of my Far away from Eden-Apocalegacy: Confessions, Revelations, Crossovers... Help!
Family Name: Cross
Lot Name: Domino's Double
Hello and Welcome back to Far away from
Eden - the apocalegacy without
apocalegacy in it... XD
- and again we have a bloody- and gore-
filled takeover of the subplots! Still, we're
near the conclusion of them, so I hope, the
apocalegacy challenge itself will return
soon... if you only want to read about the
challenge, better stop reading now (oh,
please no :(
For anyone else: read the former chapters
first! Otherwise, you'll have problems
with understanding anything, even I get
confused sometimes! However, as short
summary: Bethoria, third generation
spare and granddaughter of
Ephemeraltoast's Uranium Apocalypso
has started to conquer all Simkind,
zombified millions of Sims, her family is
trapped... yep, it looks really bad... but
we'll see... NEW rules for the apocalypse
challenge can now be found at
and great Sims 2 and 3 stories at
P.S.: It should also be noted, that this
story will start a little 'Crossover' with
another Legacy - stay tuned!
" Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!"
-Agent Snuggles Baer is courtesy of
Blueberrypie360's 'Bearly alive
" I'M SORRY, MRS. BEAR, BUT
THIS IS THE TRUTH. A SAD
TRUTH, BUT IT CAN'T BE
"... Look, all what high command
ordered me to do, was to find Little
Nemo, the creator of this
apocalegacy... well, I think, I did my
job... in fact, I did it two times,
considering that there are two of them
" Uhm, actually, only one of us can be
... but we're still not sure, which one of
" Hush! Anyway, and now you're
telling me, that... that... this is
*SIGH* WHY DO THEY ALWAYS
SAY THAT? I TELL THEM FAIR
AND SQUARE, BUT THEY WON'T
BELIEVE ME... IT'S BECAUSE I'M A
GIANT TOILET, RIGHT?
" Ehrr... excuse me, but... you know..."
"...Can you just repeat all that again?
'Cause I think, my brain just gave up,
when you started telling us about the
stuff with... with... well, everything..."
"Word... and what has this all to do
with the penguins and...?"
PENGUINS? I NEVER SAID
ANYTHING ABOUT.... OH, WELL
NEVER MIND, LET'S JUST START
FROM THE BEGINNING...
... *EHEM*... AS YOU MIGHT
RECALL, IT ALL STARTED, WHEN
THE CREATOR OF THIS
NEIGHBORHOOD - WITH THAT I
MEAN YOU TWO, THOUGH YOU
WEREN'T TWO THEN... WELL, IT
STARTED, WHEN HE GIFTED THE
ARRIVING SIMSELFS A LAIR
TOGETHER WITH A GIANT SUM
OF MONEY TO SPEND -
OTHERWISE THEY WOULD HAVE
KILLED HIM... *GRIN*...
" How the heck can you grin? You're a
... YOU JUST HAD TO RUB THAT
... ANYWAY, FOR A FORTUNE
ASPIRATION, THIS WAS
TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE, SO IT
IS NO WONDER, THAT IS WAS
EASY FOR THE VILE URANIUM
APOCALYPSO TO... MAKE HER
MOVE AT HIM...
" Hey, you're making it sound, as if
she tried to hump me... "
" Gaah! Stop putting obscene images
into my ... your... well, stop doing it..."
... WOULD YOU TWO PLEASE
REFRAIN FROM INTERRUPTING
ME? IT'S IMPOLITE...
... *EHRHM*...SO ONCE HE WAS
OUT OF THE PICTURE, SHE WENT
ON WITH HER NEFARIOUS
SCHEME BY TRYING TO TAKE
CONTROL OF THE
"GAH! See? See? Its doing it again,
putting naughty pictures in my head,
this dirty toilet..."
HEY, NOW THIS IS TOTALLY
UNFAIR, I MERELY TRY TO
"Enough already, all of you! I know
the facts, I'm a secret agent after all, I
didn't come unprepared to this
neighborhood, so enough with the all
this recapping! All I want to know, is
why you're telling me, that....?!"
PATIENCE, MRS. BEAR... WE'RE
COMING TO THAT...
... ANYWAY, WHILE URANIUM
ROUGHED UP THINGS IN THE
CREATOR... 'S FOUND
THEMSELVES AT A RATHER
MYSTERIOUS PLACE, AND WHILE
SOON DOUBLEGANGERS OF
THEM ROAMED THE
DIMENSIONS, NOBODY HAD A
CLUE WHERE THE ORIGINAL...'S
" Wow, is this thrilling... now where
could they... I mean, where could we
have been, hm, hm? Oh the
... *GRIN* THANKS, I TRY TO
KEEP IT INTERESTING....
*EHRHEM*... SO,THIS PLACE...
... THE ONE THEY WERE
'TRAPPED' IN... OR RATHER,
WHERE THEY WERE SAFELY
LOCKED AWAY BEHIND BIG
WALLS AND HEAVY DOORS
"Aaaargh! Enough with this stupid
'DUNDUNDUN'! Get over with this
crap, so you can finally tell me...!"
OKAY, OKAY... *SHEESH*, I
ALMOST NEVER GET ANY
GUESTS, AND IF, THEY ARE ALL
... *ULP*...SO THIS PLACE WAS...
... THE CHAMBER UNDER MY
'FIERY BOWL OF ORACLES', ALSO
KNOWN AS....THE 'CHAMBER OF
" 'Chamber of Secre.... Iiiiiick! We
were in a... gah, you're right, it 'is' a
" Urrrrgh... I think, I'm going to be
sick... this is... disgusting, *barf*..."
HEY, I'M NOT DIRTY! IN FACT,
BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL, I JUST
GOT CLEANED BY THE
HEAVENLY TOILET BRUSH!
... ANNNND NOW I'M DIRTY
AGAIN, THANKS FOR
NOTHING... YOU KNOW WHAT, I
GIVE UP, YOU CAN FIGURE ALL
THIS OUT BY YOURSELF, WHY
SHOULD I CARE...?
" Oh, come on now... look, I apologize for
being so impatient, but... I mean, for
being allied with Uranium, you seem to
be rather cross with her, and now you're
telling me ...?"
HEY, WHO SAID I'M ALLIED WITH
THIS VILE ALIEN?!
"... well, you ARE the Potty God's God,
and Uranium serves the Potty God...'s...."
OH, AND JUST BECAUSE I'M THEIR
GOD, THAT MAKES ME AGREE
WITH ALL THEY'RE DOING, RIGHT?
'HEY, LET'S SLAY ALL THE
URINALS', 'HEY, LET'S OVERCLOCK
ALL THE TIME', 'HEY, LET THIS
ALIEN WORSHIP US AND MAKE US
FEARED AMONG PEOPLE'...
" But... but you...?"
I MEAN, REALLY, WHAT DO THESE
STUPID TOILETS WANT? I
INTERFERE, AND THEY CALL ME
AN OPRESSOR,TAKING AWAY
THEIR FREE WILL AND FREEDOM
OF CHOICE! I STAY OUT, AND
SUDDENLY THEY COME CRYING
'WHY DON'T YOU HELP US? WHY
HAVE YOU ABANDONED US? BOO
HOO HOO HOO....!'...
".... Anyway, so why did you decide to
help Uranium this time and trap the
creator in your Chamber of... well,
I DIDN'T! IN FACT, NEITHER
URANIUM NOR THE POTTY GOD'S
KNOW, THAT THE CREATOR.. 'S
WERE HERE ALL THE TIME!"
"W-w-wait... they don't know?! I mean,
this whole mess started with..."
AND WHY WOULD SHE JUST TRAP
HIM? OTHERS HAVE KILLED
SIMSELFS, SOME ENSLAVED THEM,
LIKE MALCOLM LANDGRAAB IN
APOCALYPSE... YES, I'M STAYING
INFORMED ABOUT THIS...
" But she was there, when he
disappeared, so how couldn't she...?"
BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T, IT'S THAT
EASY! IN FACT, IT WAS - AS THE
GCD ONCE DESCRIBED IT SO
NICELY - THE ONE SHADOWING
HER, THE 'BLACK KNIGHT'!
"Plutonium? Why would...?"
NOT PLUTONIUM, *TSK* TSK*,
DON'T TELL ME, YOU THOUGHT
SHE MEANT HIM... NO IT
Remember, what the GCD said in chapter
5.2. ? ;)
"... YOU? You did capture...? But
" Hm? Oh yeah, haha, that was me...
didn't expect that, babe, right?"
"... I ... I..."
NOW, NOW, PLEASE DON'T GET
A WRONG PICTURE... BOOM-
BOOM DID IT, BUT ONLY
BECAUSE I ASKED HIM, OF
" Yeah, Big Guy here called me,
saying, he needs to get his hands on
this helmet guy... ya know, the 'Fro
usually only goes for hot chicks, but if
it makes me a hero... chicks dig
" Sis! Stop Swooning over this guy!"
"Awww, but look at his Fro, Bro..."
" Hehe... see what I mean? Nobody
can resist the.."
"...Oh, my love!"
" My love, how I've longed for you...
how I've crossed dimensions for you...
how I have fished in fiery toilet bowls
" Ugh, great, totally forgot about that
guy... BoomBoom, meet the Count... a
brainless annoying idiot with RDD -
'Romancing Deficit Disorder',
meaning he constantly declares his
undead eternal Love for someone
else... Anais Eden was first, then
Uranium, then me... "
" Oh my love, don't listen to this
totally unknown woman who I've
never met before, you're the only one
" Whoa, Whoa, Paleface, no touching
the Fro! Haven't you paid attention?
The Boommeister only goes for..."
" Hush, hush, my love, now is not the
time for words, now it's time for...
" WHAA! NO! NO! DON'T TOUCH THE
FRO, DON'T TOUCH THE...*MPPH* "
"Oookay... that was weird... but I'm
beginning to get the picture... this
'Capture'.. wasn't a capture! It was a
saving operation! You wanted to keep
Mr. Nemo safe from..."
EXACTLY, MRS. BEAR! AND TO...
KEEP A LOW PROFILE TOWARDS
URANIUM AND THE POTTY GOD'S,
I USED BOOMBOOM... HE'S HER
GRANDFATHER, SO HE KNOWS
HOW IRRITATING SHE GETS... PLUS
YOU HEARD WHAT MOVED HIM... I
EVEN GAVE HIM SOME OF MY
POWER TO GET THROUGH WITH IT,
THANKFULLY THEY DIDN'T TRACE
"... yes, that makes sense... but... while
I'm willing to believe, that Uranium has
no problem taking credit for Mr. Nemo's
disappearance, why... well, why keep all
this a secret for such a long time? Heck,
why keep Mr. Nemo himself unaware of
it? Surely he must have recovered by
now from his money shock..."
"The heck I do! One Bazillion Simoleons
is really hard to swallow, plus I just
realized I was trapped inside a toilet...!"
... AND THAT'S WHY I TOLD YOU,
THAT THE SUCCESS OF YOUR
MISSION HAS IN FACT
BELIEVE ME, I WAS REALLY
TEMPTED TO LET YOU STAY IN
LIMBO, WHEN THE POTTY GOD
FLUSHED YOU TO ME...!
" H-hey! What do you mean endan...
... FINALLY, TOOK YOU LONG
ENOUGH... IT IS NOT URANIUM
OR THE POTTY GODS I WAS
WORRIED ABOUT... BUT THAT
SOMEONE ELSE WOULD FIND
MR. NEMO IN HIS WEAKENED
STATE- AND THEN IT WOULD
HAVE GOTTEN REALLY UGLY...
"So you mean Bethoria..."
BETHORIA? BETHORIA IS THE
LEAST OF OUR WORRIES, NOW
THAT YOU UNCOVERED...
" W-what? Even worse? I'm confused,
what is now...?"
*SIGH* YOU STILL DON'T
UNDERSTAND, DO YOU? OKAY, I
REALLY, REALLY TRIED TO KEEP
THIS ALL WITHIN THE FAMILY,
BUT NOW IT DOESN'T REALLY
MATTER ANYMORE... SO
Meanwhile, in the Dark Tower,
Headquarter of Empress Bethoria, self-
declared ruler of all Simkind, F.a.f.E.-
- the inside of the tower, entry to the hell-
" Hello, Anaissss.... it'sssss been a
pleasssure to ssssee you again..."
" Oh, cut the fake accent, I always
hated it, when YOU talked this
" Awww, but you know, how much I
" Spare me the stupidity - what do
" Aw, come on, Anni, we haven't
literally seen each other for an
eternity, in fact, I thought you were
dead... though I wondered why you
never showed up after that, I never
thought of you as the heavenly type..."
" Only an eternity? Still not enough...!"
" A... Anais... is... is that....?"
" Yes, yes and yes... HE is all that, and
much more... especially much more
than I can still take today...!"
" Oh, Anni, I'm hurt, after all the
time... Remember, how much fun we
had in the old days? Come on, give
your heart a little push and me a
"Hey, you're talking to my wife here!"
"Oh... Ohohohoh... Anni, congrats, but
why wasn't I invited to your
wedding? Well, care to introduce me
to Prince Charming here?"
" Oh for the love of... YOU, meet my
husband Jerome, a sensible person,
skilled craftsmen, master cook, great
listener, romancier, best friend and -
most of all - a wonderful lover... Jerry,
meet my moronic, insensible, smeary,
worthless deader-then-meat Ex-Ex-Ex-
" Ahahah, she's a funny girl, don't you
agree? And Anni, I really have to
compliment you on this fine
specimen, you always had a good
eye... now, what do you say, if we all
three together celebrate our little
reunion.?.. I'd even be willing to be
the one in the middle..."
" HEY, hold it right there, Snakeface!
You just burst in here, molesting my
wife and now you're even
" Oh, you want to be the one in the
middle? Fine with me, but I'll warn
you, cause I have a really mighty..."
" YOU...! I'm going to make a leather
handbag out of you, I you don't buzz
off right now...!"
" Oh, he is even courageous... now I
really like to borrow him from you,
don't bother with this guy, HE's a
loser and HE knows it... just ignore
HIM, then HE'll go away..."
"Ahh, that's my Ann... always spoiling
the fun... I actually missed that..."
" Hm? Oh, who do we have here? Ah,
I remember, you're this funny little
guy... wait, don't tell... Mr.Hedgehog,
" Sonicdude! My name is the great
Sonicdude! And I'd nearly became
ruler of hell, if this stupid demon girl
hadn't shown up and told you..."
" Ah yes, I remember... well, guess I
can tell you now, I never intended to
give you anything... how's my
grandson Simler by the way, did you
" Hey... hey, Plutonium, you're dead?"
"Nope, no luck here... bet she let him
live just to make me angry...."
"..Easy... easy girl... slowly, your evil
halfsister hit you really bad..."
"... How you're doing, Liz?"
"... I... feel so... *cough* *blood*
" Ehr,... Mrs. Eden, I fear your
" Yes, yes, I know... okay listen, I
know YOU want something...
normally I'd tell YOU to go back
where YOU came from, but currently
I have to look out for any straw that's
available... so tell me what YOU want
and make it quick, before I start to
" Ahah, wonderful... my Anais, fast
thinking as ever... hell, I love this
" Come to the point, what do YOU
" Yes, yes immediately... but first, I
think, I have to set some records
" Don't worry, I'll make it quick..."
" *ahem* While my dear Anais here
has already introduced me - in her
own sheepishly way..."
" I meant every word of it!"
"... anyway, in case you ask yourself:
'is HE really..., yes, it's me, the Devil,
Satan, Belzebub, Lucifer, Diabolo
Hades, Hel, Old Nick, Schaitan,
Tezcatlipoca... or however you want
to call me... oh, and in case, if you ask
yourself why I don't come with horns
and a forked tail... well, I could, but I
prefer it that way... cause like snakes, I
often feel misunderstood..."
"... oh, but perhaps you'll say now:
'We don't believe anything YOU say,
YOU're the Lord of the lies and flies,
and all what YOU say or do, is
evil...!'... well, this might come as a
surprise to you, but... you're right! No
need to deny it, I am what I am, and
you're free to listen to me or not... still,
about that 'evil' thing... I'm also, like
you, an individual with free will and
therefore completely capable to do
something good... heck, if I wanted to,
I could close the hell tomorrow and
become a monk in a cloister, saying
rosaries day and night...but I guess,
you know the old saying 'better rule
"... but to come back to the matter at
hand... yes, I am for a reason here... a
deal, in other words... ah, and I can
already see the little wheels inside
your head turning... with thoughts
like 'YOU're responsible for all the evil
in the world and just trying to tempt
us' or 'nothing good can come from
ME'... again, I have to remind you,
being evil is a choice of free will, so I
am indeed capable of doing
something good to you... and if we're
talking about responsibility..."
"... then I'm sorry to tell you - I didn't
do it! I mean, it's true, now and then I
interfered a little, or the guys working
for me did something... but in the end,
even if I would not exist, if hell
wouldn't exist... you wouldn't be the
least bit better! Yep, that's right, all
you living beings, whether you like it
or not, if something bad happens, in
the end, it was all your decision!
Believe me, 99% of all people who try
to justify their actions or basically say:
'The devil made me do it!' - sorry, no
luck, you can't escape responsibility...
that's another reason, why I like to
rule hell: it's the easiest job in the
universe, I basically have to do
"... oh, but... hehe, sorry, I guess, I
started to rant a bit too much about
myself... bad habit, I know..."
" Are you finished someday? Some of
us are already dying here, and not just
because you're so boring!"
" Of course, of course... so here is the
deal... as far as I see, you have a bit of
an... evil overlord problem here...?"
" You're the master of evil, you figure
" Just checking... so, I guess, you want
this problem solved, and you're lucky,
cause I'm in the mood to do
something about... thankfully, evil
doesn't stop being evil even if it fights
evil... I have a reputation to uphold,
"... you already know my answer, and
I certainly regret asking this, but out
of curiosity... what's the price?"
" Hahaha... oh, Annie, Annie, you're
really fantastic... well, you know,
originally I only intended to take you
in exchange, but now that I've met
your family... would be a shame to rip
you apart... so how about it, I clean up
here, and you all start packing and get
light clothing, it's really hot where
you go now... ask Mr.Hedgehog here,
hell can actually be a really nice place
this time of the year... and imagine all
the fun we could have
together...*nudge*, *nudge*, *wink*,
" YOU...YOU... What YOU're proposing
here, is... is...!"
" Jerry, let me handle this... so... YOU
basically offer me here to solve a
problem, which YOU - even if I would
believe, that YOU're only 1 % responsible
for everything evil in the world - in fact
ARE, like everyone else who ever did
evil, responsible for....
" Now, now..."
"... and which now gives you the perfect
opportunity to blackmail me, because
you know, I'd do anything for my family,
and probably think, that dying here is a
fate much worse then being your ...
lustslaves for the rest of eternity in hell..."
"... and finally, you already said, that I'm
not the heavenly type, so whether I
accept or decline, you win either way,
but in this case, I'd get mockery to
" And what about the other people? The
ones who died or are about to die? What
about them, hm?"
"... says the untrustworthy guy
responsible for all evil, whose 'free will'
allows HIM to just stand here and
twiddle HIS thumbs..."
"Hahaha... okay, Annie, you win...in
fact, I would have been disappointed,
if it went different..."
" Well, what did YOU expect? I know
YOU, after all, I even know YOUR
real name, it's..."
" PSSSST!!... quiet, you! If anybody
ever gets to know my real name, all
the suspense would be lost... and I'm
sure you'd prefer if we leave on good
" I only want you to leave, nothing
" Okay, okay... I'm going now, but just
to show you, that I was honest about
at least some things...."
*ZUSH* *ZASH* *ZISH*
" H... hey..., I... I feel better suddenly!"
" Me too! In fact I feel better than ever
" Hnggr... Great... he feels better... now
I really hate this Snake Guy..."
" So, but now I must leave... have a
nice day, you all... oh, and Ann, in
case you change your mind... my offer
still stands, including being the
middle man... ciao!"
" Oh, this, this.... I so want to bash his
face! Anais, you're right, this guy
proves, that it's good to be an atheist -
I certainly doubt, any religion can
justify that such an $%&??% exists..."
" Anais, don't tell me you're getting
second thoughts now..."
" Huh? Oh no, but I'm thinking..."
" What? What is it...?"
" Remember, I just said, that no matter
what, he wins... I know HIM, Jerry,
and if HE appears... this means we're
in really big trouble... I mean, I was
hoping...but I guess, it's useless to
believe in miracles..."
" *hff*... sorry, I need a moment here...
this armory is heavy..."
" ... may I first know, whom I have the
honor with? You know, we had a lot
of guests today, first Bethoria, then...
and now you..."
" Oh, really? Am I interrupting
something? I can come back later, it's
not like I just slashed my way through
the whole tower..."
" ... who are you?"
"... I'm Larch Vetinari, at your
service...now come with me, if you
want to live...!!"
" Aren't you a little short for a
Welcome Larch Vetinari, from
DocSupremenerd's Dualegacy, last
appearance in this neighborhood in
" Oookay, I'm confused now... if I
remember correctly, wasn't Larch
Vetinari supposed to be... on the 'other
"Yes, I've heard so too... but if he's
here to help us... "
" It could be a trap, Don..."
" look around you girl, we are already
" Well, whether it's a trap or not, I
don't care... what I care about is: how
did this guy get the cool armour?! I
want such an armour, too! Hey, Larch
gimme your armour, you can take the
dead guy's armour...!"
" Stop it, all of you! Okay Larch, lead
the way, whoever wants to stay here,
stays, but I'm out of here..."
"... but still, if you'd enlighten me,
Larch - why are you helping us? I
mean, you were with the 'eevil'
" I was, but let's just say, I don't like to
be turned into a zombie trooper... plus
I was with them, but I am not one of
the 'eevil' guys... it's my brother
"ZYPRESS! Damn, I knew I invited the
" Wha...?! Uranium, please don't tell
" Hey, I invited over a dozen
evildoers, mistakes happen... Also,
trees are trees… oh, and I wouldn't
consider a guy, who just has pwned
200 soldiers - even zombiefied ones -
to be purely 'good'...."
"...let's concentrate on getting out of
meanwhile, on the surface:
*Pfft*... is this thing finally working?
Wait... any moment now... just have
to recalibrate a few more things....ah,
done... okay, portal should now open
*Stargate Sound Effect*
... yes, yesss...
*Sims 3 theme playing*
... finally, we've done it, we've got
access to... ohhh, nice little buildings,
almost a pity that we're going to rip
them apart with everything inside,
-H.. hey, what happened?
- Sorry, Beth, stupid thing short-
circuited, gimme a few minutes... this
technology is for the dump, I told
you, we should have done the Ritual
with the heptagram and the sacrifices
- ... Oh never mind, we're so close, we
can wait a few minutes longer... are
the troops at least ready?
- Look for yourself, girl, there are so
many, they start to block the sky... -
- I don't see anything... -
- Not in this direction, the other
For anyone not familiar with SciFi - this
is a Stargate from... Stargate, a successful
SciFi-opera centering around...
Stargates... okay, it doesn't sound that
impressive, but the objects from Xanathon
at mts.com do...
- The other... aw, no...not again
photoshopping... look, I know, that
this computer can't handle bigger
numbers, but this is ridicolous... -
- You know, that looks like a 'Where
is Wally' picture... or a stereogramm?
Do we see anything
threedimensional, if we stare long
enough at it? -
- No, we won't see anything
threedimensional... in fact who has
ever seen anything in a stereogram,
that's a myth, a myth, I tell you...oh
forget it... *grmpf*... now where are
the others, we were supposed to meet
here and... -
*Slash* *Slash* *Kill* *death grunts*
And now: welcome Domino Cross from
Amalgam/Phamser's Servo Legacy and
the start of the 'Tono vs. Beth'-Crossover
campaign in F.a.f.E ;) - for anyone
unfamiliar with Amalgam/Phamser's
Legacy: main antagonist of the Servo
Legacy family is Retsudo Tono, criminal
mastermind and actually a living
computer virus, who’s bent on destroying
all Simselfs and other plagues of Simkind
even for the price of Simkinds destruction
or so... - finally someone, who offers at
least a bit of competition to Bethoria, it
started to get boring... ;) - oh, and Domino
is his No.1 henchgirl... well, let's see how
it pays out…
"... *hff*... now to us... *hff*... Empress
Bethoria, I presume?.."
" My master Tono has sent me,
Domino Cross, to give you this
message: you will fail! Your plans will
fail! Retsudo Tono will be victorious
and there is nothing you can do
against this! "
... Oooh, interesting... I think you just
became my new bestest friend and
- need any help, Beth...?... she looks
- Nah, I think I can handle that
alone... well... Domino, wasn't it? If
your... master Tono thinks, that he
can beat me, then I can only say...
... 'Hi Beth!'
" Wha..?...Aw man, how did you
know, it was me?
- Well, aside from the fact, that you
are me... the Outfit gave you away!
*Grin* - Sassy, isn't it ? Chose the
parts myself, it's much better then
everything Domino Cross came up
with - her old costume was sooooo
- ... and you did a great job on the
- ... hehehe... yeah, elf ears are way
cool...you know, these are actually
her ears, I just cut them off...
- so I guess, everything went
according to plan?
- Of course! Pwning Domino was
easy - pity, I expected at least a bit of
a challenge - and they never
suspected a thing, no one even asked
why 'she' started wearing a mask!
- ... you know, you could have done
- And ruin my beautiful face?! I don't
Note: For the ones interested in this little
crossover, it's advised to read
Amalgam/Phamsers original Servo
Legacy (for this pic see chapter 2.13...)
plus the Servo Chronicles: Infinities to
make sense of all this... for anyone else -
let's just say, if you think, you have an
evil overlord who can challenge Bethoria
in a battle of evilness... think again, it's a
bite much too big to chew ;)
... so what about these soldiers, you
- Oh, them... see, these guys were
actually some of Tono's 'Kagemucha'
troops... he recently sent these ninja
guys to other legacies to assassinate
Sims and replace them... now, we
don't want any rats in our middle,
- Why not... ? ... nah, kidding... but
how could you make out the rats
from the rest of the herd? These guys
look pretty much all alike... you
know, we really should have
introduced a numbering scheme or
- Oh, that was easy. First, I'm the one
in charge of Tono's invasion... so this
is basically OUR invasion, hehehe...
oh, and second, if you look closely,
'our' troops all have U-shaped
shields, while these guys only have
round ones... *grin*
Kagemusha[Ghost]: "Hey, that's
unfair! You can't just go and replace a
main antagonist of another story,
that's... that's against the rules...! And
by the way, I know exactly, that the
guy I replaced, had a round shield
Hehehe... to that I can only say: look
who's talking, Mr. replacement guy...
and second, if you killed a trooper
with a round shield - than you are an
even bigger moron, cause you just
pwned one of your colleague's!
Hahaha, That's friggin hilarious...!
Kagemusha[Ghost]: "... drat."
- ... so, if you sent these guys to replace
our soldiers, did you sent someone to
replace our dear General Dutchie too?
- Yes, why?
- Because we already started to wonder,
why there are suddenly three of them
- Three? Shhhi.. looks like the guys
from administration screwed up again...
" RAAAAH! Insolent wenches! How
dare you... mimic the great General
Dutchie in such a pitiful way - you will
pay for this!"
" RAAAH! Mimic you?! How dare you!
You're the imposter! For that, you'll feel
the deadly blow of my sword...!"
" RAAAAH! I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!"
-Wheeee! Killing! Du-Tchie, Du-Tchie,
- sooo... which are now the imposters
and which one is the real Mccoy?
- does it matter? We control Tono's
invasion anyway... so how about we
grap some Popcorn and see how this
turns out, huh?
- Hmmm.. good idea, but first, I have
... how is our 'dear Tono-sama'
holding up himself, hm?
- Oh, considering he was dead for
some time, rather well... but I guess,
you mean, what our little... tinkering
with him did, hehehe...
- Hey! What are you two talking
about? Care to let me in? Oh, the
- Uhm, you're us, we're you, you
know what... ah, nevermind...
... you know, Tono's got a 'rat
problem' in his organisation too,
besides us I mean... his other lackey,
Wolfenstein was plotting behind his
back... dumb moron worked together
with someone who had devised an
anti-virus bullet to make Tono-boy
- Really? Oh that's rich... and this guy
wants to challenge us..?... poor fool...
- Oh, but he can take a lot... the bullet
didn't kill him, but rather made him
more powerful... well, at least after
we got our hands on it...
Note: for the crossover-interested ones:
read chapter 5 and 6 of the Servo
chronicles: infinities to figure out, what
happened here ;)
- OHOH, so you did...
- Yup, a little code decyphering here,
a bit code addition there... and the
anti-virus-bullet became an even
more vile virus-bullet...
- Well, it can't be that vile, if it
actually strenghtened Tono...
- Oh, believe me, being stronger will
be the least of his worries once the
bullet's new core functions have
completely installed, hehehe...
Meanwhile, in the neighborhood of the
[Tono]: "...hm...?... strange, why are
my eyes suddenly itching...?"
- ... but won't Tono get suspicious,
when he realizes that his eye have
- Relax, Tono will soon have much
bigger problems than just his eyes
temporarily switching colors,
... Ah, finally myself again... you
know, the costume might be sassy,
but I prefer to wear my usual
clothing... black is the new black,
*Psst* *Whisper*...hey Beth, what do
you think... how about we tell her,
that she is the *real* Domino Cross,
which we surgically altered and
brainwashed to think she is 'me'...
'us'... I mean Bethoria...while the real
- *Whisper* Naah, this whole
messing-around-etc.'- thing has
already taken long enough... if we go
on with this pace, we'll be standing
here until the sun goes nova on
us...let's move on......so now where's
our guest of honour, where is... 'me'?
- Oh, we're almost done here... how's
the status of the gate, Beth?
- All clear, we are good to go
whenever it's needed, Beth...
- Ah, great, great... it's nice to see
everything move so fluently...
- ... yeah, great...
- Ah, come on, Beth, why the angry
face again? After all, this is your - our
- everyone's triumph, when the
Thirds will be our next target... and
once we're done with them... perhaps
Warcraft will be next...!
... and when we finally have the
complete dataspace set in ruins and
gore - then the real world is still
- Weeeee! Game, Match and Win for
- What squealing me said: we rock!
- Victory is ours, isn't that great?
- ... I said no! No as in: no, it's not
- Beth, have you hit your head?
Cause you're making no sense...
- ...shut up!
- ... okay, okay, let's not get mad at
each other right now, when we're just
about to start...
- we will do nothing! The gig is off!
- ... Beth, what in the name of... is
wrong with you? This was your
goal... our goal!
- Yes.... yes it was... but not
- Why?! Dammit girl, don't talk in
riddles, why not??!!!
Because I'm sick of it! I'm sick of
this.... entire conquest stuff!!
- Beth, for the hundreth time: this
was your idea, our idea...
- And it was a stupid idea, I see that
now... I thought that conquering
entire neighborhoods, spreading fear
through the simverse, creating chaos
and terror, blazing in my... our power
would be fun...
... but it's not! It's boring! It bores me
to death! Tell me, when was the last
time we actually killed someone?!
- Uhm, hello, there is a giant army of
zombie troopers standing right next
- These puppets? We didn't kill all
these puppets... we ordered these
puppets to do it for us!
... so we didn't kill them with our
own hands, big deal, it's still us who
set things in motion...
- Oh Yeah?! Well, you might like to
bath in the pits of your own
gloriousness, bracing youself with
your victories - but I'm not!
- We - are - you - Beth! -
- Oh, stop this stupid 'we are you,
you am I, cow is llama' - speeches,
I'm really fed up with this junk! 'I'
tell 'you', I'm bored - bored to death!
I wanna kill somebody! Anybody!
Urgh... this old thing again... Beth,
we discussed these things already -
you can't kill everybody by yourself!
This is impossible, at least the way
you desire it, without soldiers,
bombs or anything not directly
applicable but basically your bare
- I don't care if it's impossible! I'm
not stupid, I can do the math - I
know, that real earth population
grows more than 200.000 per day*, so
even if I butcher one per second, It'd
be never enough, not to forget that at
this speed it'd drain all the fun too...!
x - daily increase world population as of
... so then what is the problem? It's
impossible, that's why we do it this
way - maximum killing with
maximum slaughter, brutal,
merciless force, terror, screams and
... and in the meantime 'I' die here
out of boredom - or even worse, fall
asleep and dream! I dreamed, for
$%??& sake, of starships and Mary
Sue's and... Raaaah, it drives me
- ... you dreamed of what?!!
- ...Forget it, it doesn't matter, all that
matters is that if it's impossible what
I desire - then so be it! No
compromises anymore, no stupid
conquest of people who don't even
put up resistance, no brainless
puppets anymore that take away my
fun to torture, slaughter, butcher,
eviscerate, incinerate, murder and
kill anyone anywhere and whenever
I want myself, no 'good' dreams
... but the one dream I long for..
The dream that one day all the
neighbourhoods will writhe in pain
and agony and die through the
means of my deeds: with cold and
manhandling creating eerie quailing!
The dream that one day the hills will
be of reddish gore by the sons and
daughters and fathers and mothers
and grandparents I slaughtered like
pigs on the table of a butcher.
The dream that one day even the
stiffs of mildmannered hippies,
sweltering in the heat of my
irritation and the fires I burned them
with at the stake, will be transformed
into an outrageous fresco of bodily
The dream that one day all four
corners of the world will lie in ashes
and ruins where not even the tiniest
joy or color will exist but the
constant reminder of my Cruelty.
This is my dream...!!
note: apologies to MLK... *oops*
... ... okay, girl, you seriously lost it...
all this nonsense is just too crazy,
even for us...
... shut up...
... so I think, it's best, if you lay
down, while we do a lobotomy on
you, to see what is broken in your
... SHUT UP!
... and I think you'll agree with me -
since your are me - that we'll better
lock you away somewhere, so you
won't do anything stupid, I mean you
aren't really stable right now...
- OH MY... she killed...ehr,... me?
- YOU BAST... waitaminute, I think
we already considered that a
preferable alternative to Wimp
daddy... and since she just killed
her... my…our 'other self', does that
now count as murder or suicide...? ...
little help, girls?
" *SOB* EMPRESS... NOO... I HAVE
FAILED YOU... WHYYYY.... WHY
DID YOU HAVE TO DIE.....?"
Oh, quit your whining... I am your
Empress, you retarded moron... man,
is this guy stupid...
" NO....! NO, YOU AREN'T THE
EMPRESS... YOU'RE JUST AN
IMPOSTER, LIKE THESE OTHER
IMPOSTERS THAT TRIED TO
REPLACE ME... AND YOU, YOU
What are you talking about, you
braindead idiot...?... I - am - Bethoria,
your Empress, get that in your numb
"LIES! ALL LIES! LIAR! EMPRESS, I
WILL AVENGE YOU......!!!!"
... Oh, screw this... I'm out of here...
I'll rather go back to Tono-sama,
continue to play his happy little
henchgirl and usurp him in time...
-... I'll go too, I'll already have some
new plans in mind... and anywhere is
better than with that Nutso... so long,
- Bye, Bethy, have a nice day... I'll
promise, I'll write...!
*teleport* *teleport* *teleport*
- RRRRGH... come back, you losers,
come back so I can rip your throats
out and... !
... meh, never mind... who needs
these lame-o's , anyway... they just
hold me up... what was I thinking,
splitting myself into different... I
mean, what were they good for?
Laughing, making jokes, being fun
to have around... Nah, I don't need
them, I don't need anybody... ... ...
*snif*.... *wipe*.. meh, stupid
blood...got something my eye or so...
... okay, and now what about you
brainless puppets, hm? What should
I do? Kill you? Nah, that would be
pointless, cause you are already
dead, so killling you again would be
like eating the same meal two times
... *sigh* ... perhaps I'll just pack my
bag here an go over to Sims 3 to start
.... oh, heyheyhey, wait a minute... I
completely forgot my family...
hehehe... it wouldn't be nice, leaving
here without saying good-bye first...!
... I can still come back later... 'Empi',
Dutchie, , hold the line, I'll be back
in... oh, make that a few hours, I
want to enjoy my last rampaging
Hello-o, family, your dear beloved
Beth is back to bring you good news:
your days of pointless slave labor are
over... in fact, all your days are over,
... ... you know (who am I talking to?),
I actually should be angry about
... but heck, it's actually more fun that
way, playing a little bit 'cat and
... let's go! Hoo-hoo, faamiiilyy...
where are you? Bethy is here... and
she wants to show you her new
... *hhff* *pant*...hooh... jeebus, these
guys sure put up a great distance
between me and them... though it's
surprisingly easy to follow them... so
many dead guards... hey, that one's
even naked!... and they call me evil?
Looks like I'm not so much of an
exception as they belie..
...eh? Well, if that isn't... looks like
the saying is true: Je spaeter der
Abend, umso schoener die Gaeste...
'The later the evening, the more beautiful
the guests' - German saying, implying,
that even late guests are welcome guests...
probably, because everyone is already so
drunk, that even the fat and ugly ones
start to look good... ;)
Kagemusha [Fearless Leader]: "In
position, men, enemy contact! Prepare
Kagemusha [Tape Recorder]: "...
*skrrzl*... *ahem*, test, test... does this
guy record..?.. ah, okay... Hi Beth, it's
me... I mean 'you'... I mean 'Beth'!
Anyway, since 'you' decided to go
completely nutso, 'I' am now
following my own plans in Tono-
samas organisation... and to make
sure that you won't interfere, I sent
some of Tono's Troops to keep you
occupied... I know, they won't stand a
chance against you, but delay you
long enough to give me the time to
finish my work... Have fun with all
the killing - Bye!..."
Kagemusha [Dead Meat]: " W-what?!
Hey, I thought this was a
reconnaissance mission, I never
signed... oh drat..."
Kagemusha [Dies horribly]: " I knew
it! I knew it from the start! That's why
we got these strange names! We're all
gonna die! We're all gonna....!"
ANNOUNCEMENT: the following
pictures have been removed, as they
contain too much blood, severed limbs and
corpses to present them to even the most
daring audience. Therefore, we now
return the center of attention back to...
... the far outskirts of the F.a.f.E
" *pant*... come on, come on, don't be
lazy... we still have a way to go..."
" *hff*... but what I really want to
know: how were you able to take out
200 guards, Larch? "
" ... I'm Batman!"
" ...Okay , not really, though I almost
got the role of Batman in Arkham
Asylum, but then they wouldn't want
to change the mask... my poor nose...
but I was in fact a stunt-double for
Ezio in Assassins Creed 2...!"
"... you're kidding!?"
" Of course I'm kidding... or am I ?!"
"... whatever...let's get home, we have
to look how the others are doing
before we make our next...."
" Wait, wait, wait, short Pow-Wow:
we're not running back to your home,
" What the...? I thought you were
going to help us?!"
" I am! That's why aren't going back to
your home - in case you haven't
noticed, girl, this isn't an ordinary
apocalypse anymore, this is much
"... and that's why we have to get back
to get Alex and Brian and the kids out
"... and please, how do you think, can
we accomplish that? Here, see for
"...See? I might have just discarded
200 guards, but these are over 2000
Troopers surrounding your home...
I'm... I almost became Batman, but I'm
"That... That's Brian! What is he
" Fending off the troopers with his
dog and wolf friends... I think, it has
something to do with your creator
promising these guys a 'werewolf
empire' or so... well at least they're
true to their word... ehr, bark."
" But... they are so many...why aren't
they attacking him?"
" Well, probably because your
'Empress' found it much funnier to
starve them to death... I mean, 2000
against 2 werewolfs, 2 kids and a litter
of cats and dogs..?... This girl is so
crazy, one day she'll probably kill
herself just for fun..."
" Hey, why then we just go to me? I
mean to my hou.. Lair! It's really nice
there, with all kinds crazy machines,
coffins, a cowplant, a Re-surrect... oh
yeah, Uranium's kid stole that one...
but my daughter can make cookies
" Hey, she's not 'my' kid... and besides,
do you really think, there's even a
stone of your Lair left? Heck, we're
probably the last non-zombified
people in the entire... ehr, no offense,
" None taken... and you're right,
nobody's...including my family.
*snif*... I tell you, if I ever could get
my hands on Bethoria, I'd gonna make
chili out of her!"
" Yeah, as if that's gonna happen...
why not turn her into a birthday cake,
then you can take her lights out,
... speaking of birthday cakes... at the same
time at the still standing(!) Lair of
Sonicdude, all-powerful but merciful
Ruler of Sexyville, currently placed in the
F.a.f.E.-neighborhood.., last seen in
" Happy Birthday to you... Happy
Birthday to you... Happy Birthday, my
litte Damien, Happy Birthday to you!...
so... and now we're blowing out the
candles... nonono, Damien, we're
blowing them out, now firing them
up... don't you wanna finally become
a big boy..?... good..."
" Jeez, girl, I already figured you're
one of those crazy people who try to
lead a 'normal' life, but this tops the
cake... you are celebrating a birthday
party for your demonspawn-son in a
neighborhood ruled by an evil
overlord and your party guests are a
demon-slash-former vampire countess
and Adolf Simler... even I can see how
absurd this is..."
" Lilith, hush, or I'll deduct this from
your payroll... now, my little Damien,
be a good boy and grow up..."
" Walalalalala.... grow...."
"... and you'll be 'personal' slave,
nanny Lilith, WAHAHAHARRR...!"
" *sigh* Great, just great... evil overlord
outside, evil overlord inside... if this
goes on, I'm joining the church..."
... to be continued... we're now returning
... the outskirts of F.a.f.E.:
"... so, do we agree on this? You're
coming with me, and I'll get you
somewhere safe, okay?"
"... okay, but I still have my doubts
about this... not that there are many
"... lead the way..."
" hff running, always running... can't
we just pretend, we're already there,
like in any normal legacy, where
people just appear at your
" Oh, shut up... by the way, has
anyone realized something crazy
about this sky? I just can't figure out
what time it is, I mean, we're
vampires, but we're not sizzling, but it
doesn't really look like night..."
"... aaaannnd way to much
exposition... lets go and hope, that
we're not getting a cliffhanger, this is
already picture 123...."
" ... annnd... stop! There we are..."
" Where we are? I don't see how this is
place looks any safer than the one
minutes ag... Oh!"
" SO, YOU MADE IT! TOOK YOU
" Sorry, Joe, complications, we had to
choose a safer route..."
"... STOP CALLING ME JOE."
" Well, in some legacies, they call you
'Joe', Grim... how about old Nick
" This is it? The Grim Reaper is our
safe... okay, something is going on
here, and I don't like it..."
" ME NEITHER, BUT DESPERATE
TIMES REQUIRE DESPERATE
... to be continued...
"... I knew it! A Cliffhanger! Why do
we always get a cliffhanger...?"
Epilogue I: Servo neighbourhood, near Tono's
Kagemusha[Carcass]: "Mayday, SOS,
We're under attack... need reinforcements,
repeat, need.... AAARGH!! MY LEG! SHE
CUT OFF MY...."
...Aaah, sweet pain... *sigh*, if only
'other self' wouldn't have gone
bonkers... we could have achieved so
"*Ahem*, Empress, the troops are ready...
Oh good... okay, you know the drill:
storm forward, show no mercy, plaster
the ground with Tono's troops... oh, and
just give me a headstart, so I can warn
him of what's coming...
"*Ehrm*... forgive me, Empress, but...
wouldn't it be better, if we *don't* warn
him? I mean, if we want to be
...and miss the opportunity of having a
nice, funny massacre? Nah, don't think
so...Tono might think, that certain goals
are worth to kill, but I know life is too
precious to waste it for anything...that's
why I like to waste it just for fun,
continued..in Servo Infinities 15 ! ;)
Epilogue II: Dimension of the Potty God's
"... Oh come on Bro, don't play mother
Theresa on me now... after all, what we
do isn't really virtuous either, plus I
already was with others..."
" That were women! Do you really think
I care what you do with women?!"
" NOOOO! LEAVE THE FRO ALONE,
" Oh, but my love, your Fro is so touchy-
" Oh, captain, my captain..."
" Yeah, what is it, mate?"
" Do you realize, Captain Sparrow, that
we didn't had any lines in this entire
chapter? That's a bit disappointing..."
" Mate, this whole story is &%$& crazy
and for the can, and I don't want to be
part in it all! In fact, I'm now starting to
dig a hole to hide, so deep, that I might
come out at the other side of the world...
well, Tortuga must be somewhere...!"
to be concluded... hopefully soon...