Far away from Eden, Ep.6.1.: Horror Picture Show
Chap 6.1 of my apocalegacy: Vampires! Robots! Zombies! Michael Jackson... What have I done???!!!!!
Family Name: Simselfs Bunch B
Lot Name: Sexyville
Categories:Horror,Komödie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims
"... So let's get over with this, grmbl..."
*ahem*... Hello and Welcome yadda, yadda,
yadda... this is an apocalegacy with vampires,
restrictions and Simselfs, if you're too dumb
to understand what that means, read the
former episodes, or ask this Pinstar guy..."
" Lil'Bro, that is NOT an appropriate
" ANTOINE! My name is ANTOINE, not
'Lil'Bro' - stop calling me that, I'm an
"... *sigh*, 'Antoine', we all know, that
you've got only one nice point, but could
you, please, tone it down a bit... ?"
"Why do I even have to do the narration
this time? It's stupid, and I don't give a..."
" Mom decided, that you should do it
this time. Guess she hoped, it would
improve your behaviour... so please,
don't make her regret it..."
legacy and apocalypse challenge - visit
great legacy and apocalypse stories - visit
"... okay, once again..."
...Hello, my name is Antoine Eden, the
guy in the background is my older brother
Alexandre, and as you can see, we're both
currently working our @$$es off....
... we're... working... at our 'dear' sister
Amaryllis's - the heiress of this legacy -
clothing and toy shop... not that it
matters, our family swims in money,
700.000 and counting... but since this is
an apocalypse challenge... or
vampocalypse, since we're overrun by
vampires and not zombies, money is
rather useless until we lift some
restrictions, but our greedy si... -
"OWWWW...!... Okay, okay, I got it,
stop throwing toy bricks...!"
".... grmbl, stupid brother Alex...
always playing 'Mr.
GoodyTwoShoes'... hey, we're
brothers, what did you expect, love
and harmony?...though he seems still
a bit unnerved from his kidnapping...
well, I'm still obliged give you a recap
of what had happened, better finish
this now... "
...Ok, last time we had serious problems:
Creator was missing, then an ugly alien
named Uranium appeared, forging an
alliance with the guy responsible for our
'vampire problem', the Count, while her
son Plutonium, a noseless freak like her,
took over the local criminal underworld
and imprisoned the gypsies, so no more
love potions - a bad thing for my 'dear'
Sister Amaryllis, because she and her
husband Ben Long - yes, the 'nose' guy -
had not enough bolts for the 3-bolts
handicap...yep,bed problems ;)
So Sis, dressed like a game character,
began searching for one of Mom's former
friends, Nick Wood, a 'Mad Scientist',
who perhaps still had a ReNuYu-
Portachug with the chance of becoming a
Grilled Cheese Sim = guaranteed triple
Plutonium tried to set up a trap for Sis by
claiming to have info about Mr. Wood,
but only captured Alex and Dad, so he
blackmailed her with that. Sis freed them
with the help of the GCD, who distracted
Plutoniums vampire minions while
Amaryllis beat him up…
... and in the end, she even got away with
a free package of love potion from the
gypsies for 'freeing' them - fact is, she
nearly let them rot away in their prison if
I hadn't remind her... really, these gypsies
are so stu... but who am I telling this,
everyone knows their expertship, if it
comes to blind dates...
...so in the end, everyone was happy... Alex
and Dad for being freed, Amaryllis for her
love potion...*cough*woohoo*cough...even the
GCD was happy, cause Mom accepted her
now at least as 'persona grata'...
"Seriously mom, why do you want to be
friends with this smelling lightbulb, just
"Well, my son, first, while I still dislike
any sort of religion, I respect it, if
somebody helps me or my children... and
then, I'm a popularity Sim, and making
friends is my happiness, so she's as good
as anyone else..."
"... so much for moral values..."
"Young Man, I told you a thousand
times: Not in this tone!"
"Great, my Sis can be as greedy and
horny as she wants, but I'm the one
" We. will. work. on your sisters
behaviour too, but that's no excuse for
your grumpiness! You both should..."
" Yeah, yeah, follow Alex's example...our
nicey-nice super-brother...still restless
searching for our oh-so-beloved
" Now you're really pushing it..."
" NO, I'm... *cough* the... Look, as a
peace offering, can we perhaps make
an agreement on the fact, that we
disagree, who the real one is?"
"...*gack*... Agreed, but only because
my throat feels like.... nah, you don't
wanna know... how long were we
" Guess, it's already a new chapter...
we started at 5.1, now it's 6.1..."
" Huh? How could that be? I'm the... I
mean, one of us is the creator of this
vampogacy, so how..."
"Oh. Okay... at least one thing less to
worry... I think... :? "
" No clue... after all, I don't even
remember, how I got here... only
remember, how this Alien broke into
" Our House! "
"... our house, and then, everything
went black... that's all."
" Same here... so that's a dead end
too... seems like we have to wait till
somebody frees us..."
" Haha, good one... seriously, who do
you think, would even search for us?!"
" Anais would..."
" Oh come on, you know her! This girl
would dance on my... on our... on one
of our... oh forget it, she wouldn't
" Hey, don't judge her so harsh... she
might hate m... us, but cruelty is not
part of her personality... besides, she'd
miss the insults she throws at m... us.
And after all, if Uranium has trapped
'us' here as an attempt to control the
"hmmm, good argument... so this
means, we just have to sit this out,
" Well... yeah... guess, now we only
have to think of a way how to spent
"... rock, scissor... damn, both the same
again... we're too similar, it seems..."
"Okay, how about playing catch
" We don't have a ball."
" Red Hands?"
" Guess, that would be the same as
Rock, Paper, Scissors..."
" *Sigh*, this is going to be a long
Change of Location: Counts castle,
Headquarter of the evil Vampire army,
temporary Headquarter of the Leader of
the Cult of the Potty God, Uranium,
" You know, sometimes I really had
hoped, you'd change one day and
become more... competent,
considering you've got at least half of
my genes and all that stuff, and stop
being the whiny little wannabe you
used to be... "
For more information about Uranium
Apocalypso, read Ephemeraltoasts
Bachelorette Challenge, and some
other legacy where she also constantly
"... But apparently, even a garden
gnome would 've done a better job!!!
Seriously, everyone escaped?! The
gypsies, the family... and she even
beat you up?! For potty god's sake,
you are so stupid....!"
"But.... but Ma, she tricked me, and
then Rubbersushi, I mean the Grilled
" Shut up! You failed me and you
disgust me! Out of my Eyes!"
For Plutonium Apocalypso, read also
the former chapter ' Vamp Raider!'...
" Waaaaaah, that's so mean *snif*..."
" Damn, I should've known it... never
let such an imbecile do a job for you...
Hey 'hedgehog', what do you think
would be better, selling him to a freak
show or use him as a punching bag?"
" M... my name isn't...*gurrgle*
"... Sonic..*wurrgl*... dude !"
- Sonicdude - writes the Valistor
Legacy. Very eager to team up with
Uranium, instead degraded to her
house maid for cleaning the Counts
castle... hey, she's evil,what did you
- Default zombie skin was made by
Enayla at Mts2.com.
" Eeew, stay away from me, you're
smelling like a... well, you are a corpse
after all...brrr, totally forgot, how
zombies stink, when I lived in an
apocalypse... if there were any
zombies at that time, I mean... but I
really thought, you were a bit
smarter... isn't it obvious, that the
potty god doesn't like to be scrubbed
so hard? You're really lucky, that, in
his infinitive wisdom, has granted you
a second life as my devoted servant...
oh well, I think, you can take out the
trash now, then you can wash my
clothes, and after that, the Count and I
want a nice meal, but first you'll
desinfect yourself, I don't want any
body parts in my..."
" OKAY, THAT'S IT! THAT IS THE
LAST STRAW! I CAME HERE FOR
CAUSING CHAOS, KILLING
PEOPLE, FOR CONQUEST, MASS
EPIDEMIES, HUNGER, RAISING
ZOMBIES AND SO ON, NOT FOR
BEING A MAN MAID FOR AN
" ...Do I hear some sort of... rebellion
" Darn right! I refuse to do this lower
work anymore! I want power! I want
influence! I want a zombie army! My
own Desk! A Secretary! And paid
"... I really admire your braveness,
kid... you actually seem to have more
backbone than my worthless son... I
mean, just tossing all this into my face,
when I've killed men for lesser... so is
this your last word?"
" This IS my last word!"
" *sigh*, then I guess, I have no other
- a severe beat-up later -
" ... OWWWWIIEEE!!"
"... and don't even think to come back
asking for a good reference, moron!"
" Oh, this... this Alien, she... DO you
hear me, Uranium?! This means war!
I'll get my zombie army, and then
you'll pay, you, you...where is my cell
Yeah, yeah, I know already, It's
myself after all... Listen, come over
here, bring my resurrect-o-nomitron
and some zombies with you... oh, and
get me an evil headquarter or a
fortress or something like that... oh
and you can bring the cowplant too,
there's lots of evil to do..."
" Woa, Woa, Woa, Dad, hold it! Do
you even know, how worried we
were, when you just went off without
notice and... where are you anyway?"
"In your other Dad's Neighborhood,
of course... now get your lazy butt
over here and get me some zombies...
oh, and I want zombies, that can
dance, do you hear me? I always
wanted dancing zombies... and don't
forget the evil headquarter, okay?
" WOOOOH, LOOKIT ME, I'M A
" *snore*... please, kiddo, let Daddy
sleep.... *snore* "
" Frickin' Great... my Dad just orders
me around, my other Dad always
sleeps, my half-sister/aunt/whatever
is a lunatic... heck, I even don't know
my own name, cause nobody told
persons in the picture:
- on the couch: LittleNemo, originally
wrote the 'Far away from Eden'-
Vampogacy, now trapped at an
unknown place (see before),
hallucinating that there are
dopplegangers of him, or clones, or
fakes or...; this version went to
Sonicdude's Valistor Legacy and was
used by Sonicdude for a pregnancy
experiment, that spawned two
children, aged up to adults.
- Girl in orange shirt with white
trousers: Child of Valistor Little Nemo
and Sonicdude, Name unknown...
- Girl with Lampshade (and scuba
helmet underneath): child of Valistor
Little Nemo with himself(!), slightly
crazy and... okay, so she's totally
Back to the 'Far away from Eden'-
neighborhood, location 'F.a.F.E'-Simself
Lair, former SimSim prison...
"... hey, Cel, there's..."
" AaaaRGH!!!... what is it this time?! I
told you a thousand times, not to kill
each other, but does anybody listen to
" ... sorry Cel, but I thought..."
" Or is it just because I abandoned my
apocalypse challenge? I already
explained it, now you don't have to rub it
under my nose, just because you finished
" No Cel, it's just that the new Simselfs
have arrived and wait at the front gate..."
" mmph, okay, I'm coming..."
" Don't worry Cel, I'll keep the pool free
for you... besides, you'd lose this game
" Why me...?"
- At the Left: Maxibuckle, Wrote and
completed the Smarter and Fancy AC -
- In the middle: Cel aka Celinou4c, wrote
the At the Gate of Baldur AC and diverse
- At the right: DJXavier, wrote and
completed the Ryders AC
" Hi, Cel! "
" Hey Dor! Wow, that's a surprise seeing
you here! By the way: Congratulations
for Completing the Miyazaki's!"
"Aww, thanks Cel!" *hugs*
- 'Congratulations, Dor!'
- 'Wooooo! Way to go! The Miyazaki's
- 'Yay! Another finished legacy to read!
- In the front: Dor aka Mitinkitten, Global
Mod at boolprop, wrote and completed
'Miyazaki's Art' - One of the best
Legacies 4EVA! - *shameless admiration*
- In the back, from left to right:
- Avidreader2466 aka Denise, writes the
puritanical green thumb legacy
- Candie020765, wrote 'the' Uglacy,
writes 'the' Prettacy -if you don't know
them, you're probably from behind the
-Aaroc200, writes the Elfin Legacy and
the Space Oddity -put into his Space
Oddity custome ;)
-LorinsV60, wrote and completed the
'Apocalypse Scrapbook' AC
- Chickensensei (Bigsmallquack) -
currently writing the best of the worst
- Orikes360 - writes the Pseudo Legacy -
another favourite ;)
- De aka fireflower - writes the pierce
- ' Congratulations!!!'
- ' Yay! THis calls for a party! '
- ' Wee! Party time!'
- 'Horray for Dor!'
From left to right:
- Sporks007007, writes the 'a Simselfs
Legacy' and the Themeless Legacy
- Katyann, writes the 'Bildungsroman
Legacy' - I 'wuv' Lemony!
- Smoothiequeen87, writes the
Fitzhugh Legacy - sorry being hidden,
realized to late, that the camera angle
wasn't right... :(
- Kiwisaysquee aka SayKiwiwithme,
writes the 'A Nervous Legacy'
- Blite27 aka NetfsN1427, writes the
'Ten Cesars Legacy' - another favo...
heck, *all* are favourites, okay?
- BELOVEDWAGON, wrote and
completed the 'Legacy du Jour',
hundreds of awesome Sims on his
- Anabanana aka Alexhuichun, writes
the Delacruz Legacy, founded the
Church of Don
" aww, thank you all... that's like
birthday, only without cake..."
" Well, 'birthday child', look at it that
that way, you don't need to blow the
candles first before getting the
" Well, actually, I've even already
unpacked my... 'present'... that was
actually something, I wanted to
discuss with you, Cel... I mean, so far,
only Simselves have checked in here,
" Well... yes, but that doesn't mean,
this here is 'Simself's only' ... let's just
say, we tried to focus first on Simself's
before... well, I guess, your question
means, that you've brought someone
with you? One of the Miyzaki's,
"Errh....No, I'm actually here with..."
" Hi Cel... Hey Dor, that's a surprise to
see you here, too!"
" Huh? Who's there?"
" We're behind you... or better: look at
the next picture!"
" Oh, it's you! You know, I actually
wanted to talk a little vacation from
" 's no use! We'll always be on your
mind! Do you have any Welcoming
Cheese? Swiffie and I are starved from
the way here... oh, and why didn't you
tell us of these funny vampire parties,
I'm sure Mei and Omega would've
" Nausicaa, I think, that was a 'raiding
party' we met..."
- Dear readers, meet favourite
Simself/Simlebrity pair Nr. 1,
Nausicaa Miyazaki from 'Miyzakis
Art 'and Jennifer aka Swiffner, who
wrote and completed(!!!) the 'Ancient
Mythology' Alphabet Challenge - 26
generations of pure awesomness, first
completed ABC Challenge ever!
"... but nevermind... congrats from me
" Aww thanks Jenn." *Hugs*
" So, I've heard, only Simselfs are here
so far? Then it's about time for some...
Simlebrities here! Mind, if I invite the
rest of my family? All Miyzaki's
together, that would be a nice..."
" ... Whoo, Whoo, wait a minute!
Nausicaa, nothing against your
family, but... see, this Lot already
contains over thirty(!) persons, not
adding all the others, who... "
" Oh, come on, Cel, surely there are
still free... 'cel's' ? *snicker* "
" Hey, good one... but it's not space,
I'm worried about... it's rather time...
game time, so many people create a
lot of game lag... truth to be told,
we're already discussing the
possibility of expanding and buy
some more locations for..."
" Oh you're expanding? Hey, perhaps
then I can invite the rest of my family,
" Next picture!"
" You know, it is a bit annoying, if you
start talking, before we can see you..."
"... Professor. By the way, aren't you
still in detention in Orikes Legacy?"
" Well, so what? I'm changing a prison
for another prison, no big deal!"
" You know, technically this isn't a
real prison anymore, but..."
" Not to interrupt, but can we go in
now? I'm still cold from the way
here... whose idea was it anyway, to
create a Sim Lair in the midst of a ice-
aged, vampire controlled area,
Meet favourite Simself/Simlebrity
pair Nr. 2, Professorbutters aka
Looloolooo16play, writer of the
'Squeaky-clean Legacy' and her
husband Flavius Marius, political
roman mastermind, made by Blite27,
writer of the Ten cesars legacy - toga
found at the exchange... don't know,
where this cool orange ones are,
" Okay, just go in, Mr. Flavius .... ehm,
Prof, when you said, your whole
family... did you mean that for real?"
" Yes, of course, why?"
" Well, because with all these
Simselfs... I mean, you are aware, that
we aren't that... 'squeaky clean'...?"
" Oh, don't worry about that... I didn't
expect it, and I don't think Blites
" Wait, Romans?!"
" Yes... didn't I say 'My family'? Since
I'm married to a Roman, this is 'my
family'... but of course, the
Goodytwoshoes would like to come
" But... these are nearly hundred Sims,
how should we...?"
" Wh... Next picture, right?"
" Ehrr, yes?"
"Okay, bring it..."
"...As I already wanted to tell you, I
brought someone with me, it's..."
" ME! Hiya, Ladies, gosh, you're all
looking freakin' hot tonight...!"
Favourite Simself pair Nr. 3 (sorry),
Dor and Gage Uglacy from Candie's
Uglacy... well, he and Dor are rather
in a Love/hate-relationship, but he's
kinda grown to her, as she said herself
in the end of the Miyzakis (Miyazakis
Art, when a plan comes together part
2)... so hopefully, no hard feelings
Dor, eh? please?
" What?! Dor, you can't be serious
about that?! Gage?!!"
" Aww, Cel, come on, you said, it's
like my birthday..."
" Yes, but it's not halloween... yet. If
we need a scary pumpkin face, we
rather make one ourself!"
"... Oh, pumpkin faces... should I help
you with that? *hint*hint* ;)"
" No, Gage, get lost! Dor, seriously,
you did you came up with the idea
of... this is a Lair full of Simselfs,
mostly female, that's like letting a fox
into the chicken..."
" Cel, baby, calm down! I swear, I
won't do anything silly this time,
okay? It's only Dor now... yup, Gage
has totally changed! Now come, let
me into this prison... I was such a bad
boy after all, I need to be punished...
" Gage, that's the most stupid... arrgh,
it's more likely, that Maxis creates an
Add-on without any bugs then you..."
" Aw man, Cel, give me a chance... I
promise, I'll be good, there will be
" ... I thought, I made myself clear, not
to start talking before you're actually
" ...YOU STOLE MY MAN!"
" No one takes my Gage away, D'ya
" Oh, Hi Renee... Rrrr, sexy as ever..."
" Renee, you..."
Favourite pair Nr. 4, Renee and... yes,
of course it was already Dor and
Gage, but Gage is the Ladies man, so...
and Renee aka Cowforbrains1 - best-
known psychotic Simkiller Nr.1,
wrote the Fear Legacy, the Hall
Matriarch Legacy (with Dor), the
Ashbua Legacy etc. - has a crush for
him since at least Gage's Bachelor
Challenge by Candie... oh, and
Ephemeraltoast is still occupied with
the bubble blower, so no danger from
- 'Oh, I can't look...'
- 'Woo, Dor get her..!'
- 'Show her who's Boss, Renee!'
- 'Ten bucks on Dor!'
" *sigh*, there goes my free weekend...
now just come on, after a sentence like
that, there's certainly someone, who
wants to say something, without
appearing in this picture..."
"... I'm not falling for that!"
" You're no fun, Cel..."
"... that's why I brought some fun with
"... and I still insist, mate, this whole
trial was a total..."
" Oh Shush, you... smexy... ehr, guilty
baby, or I'll ZOTZ! you..."
Favourite pair Nr... no, that's not
right, Purplebunnysarah, Inventor of
the ZOTZ!ing, and ChristheS would
be that, but ChristheS wasn't
available, so... and since our dear Jack
Sparrow* (don't tell me, there is
anyone out there who doesn't know
him???) was the founder of her
piratical legacy, he'll make a suitable
replacement...by the way, they're
talking about what happened in
PikaKyle's 'Apocalypse at Cedar
point, CH. 4', where Jack was just
sentenced to prison.... welcome
*Jack made by... ehr,.... damn, who
made him again, there are about two-
hundred(!) Jack Sparrows at the
exchange! Okay, credit to them all... ;)
- 'OMG, Jack Sparrow is here!'
- 'That's 'Captain' Jack Sparrow!'
- 'Huhu, Jacky, over here!'
- 'Jack, I love you, marry me!'
- 'HEY, he 'is' already married to me,
get your greasy hands of...'
- 'Weeeeeh, Jack, I wanna bear your
- 'I want you to bear Gage's child!'
- 'Not fair, I wanted to do that!'
- 'Double pregnancy?'
" *gulp* Oh no, not all these crazy
Simselfs again... need to think of an
escape plan fast,... ah yes..."
" *Ahem* Fellow ladies, thank you all
for yer nice welcome and kind
words... ehr... and to show you my
gratitude, let me now recite one of my
most favourite quotes... *cough*:
Dear friends, you... will always remember
this as the day you almost caught...
" Oh no, Jack is escaping!!"
" Stop, Jack, come back, you can't just
" Yes, at least not until you've breed
" WAAAAH... the cannibals were
harmless against these girls... damn,
where is Will, when you need him...?"
" Pfft... all this nonsense about a guy
with too much mascara and a stupid
hat... girls, why do you go after this
freak, if there is all 'Gage' just waiting
right here for..."
*barkbark, wraffwraff bark* ('Sir, we
* Bark, wraff barkbark* ('What did
you find, private Tom?')
*Bark, bark bark barkbark wraff, bark*
('A Werewolf, a real werewolf has
appeared in the neighborhood,
*Bark, Bark, wrafwrafwraff, wraff
bark, BARK BARK BARK* ('Perfect!
We must immediately turn him to our
side! ALL HAIL TO THE UPCOMING
Note: read the former episodes for
further information about the dogs of
the neighborhood and their attempt to
establish a werewolf empire...%)
"... Dagnabit, stupid computer, stupid
storytellin'... oh, you're there again...
yeah, damn thing was broken
down...where were you anyway, just
when I wanted to start..?... oh well,
you didn't miss anything, Mom and I
just got a bit into a fight
about...whatever, let's continue..."
... as I've already told you, my oh-so-
brilliant sister had searched for Mr.
Wood, hoping, that he could spare an
aspiration changer for Grilled Cheese
triple Love... well, with the gypsies free
and Love Potion available again, this
wasn't necessary anymore... not that
stupid Sis had found any traces of
him...but at least, her search had a nice
side effect... it made him find us!
The vampocalypse hadn't stopped at his
door as well, he had become a vampire,
too... but when he heard, that this Alien
had teamed up with the Count, he
retreated to his secret hide-out and stayed
"Uranium was at the same Mad
Scientist'-Meeting as my Idol Loki
Beaker - his Biography said, that she's
evil incarnate, so cautions had to be
taken... besides, I'm not really into
Aliens, I'm more an Inventor, creating
machines and stuff..."
" As we speak of machines, NIcky...
do you remember, when I still was in
" Aaah, I remember... truth to be told,
I would've asked for your hand, but...
oh never mind..."
"Ehr, yes... soo, do you remember the
" The Aspiration Changer Thingy? Of
course! I was even able to make a
copy of it for..."
" Do you still have it?"
... of course he still had it...well, as I said,
it didn't matter anymore, but since was
he so eager to leave it to us, we just put it
into the Warez! for further... Ah, right, I
forgot to tell you, that we have another
Community business now... though It's
not a real community business, it's just...
oh, just look for your self...
... fact was, that we still had problems
with all the dating and Outing rewards
our family constantly does... or better, the
paperboy had problems for getting
through to us...
... so my brother Alex just had a brilliant
idea, honestly... yep, another community
business, where we could store them... one
time into the inventory, then out at the
business, athletic restriction
untouched...oh, and he quit his job as a
criminal mastermind, not that it did
matter, the local family was dead anyway,
thanks to Plutonium, the 'No-
Nose'...seriously, who had the idea of
getting Alex a job as a criminal, even a
baby is a bigger bad-@$$ than...
" Antoine, your attitude is really
starting to get on my..."
" Bleh, bleh, crybaby, where's your...
" One more, and I throw the rest of the
... ouch... this... *ahem*, and this was our
newest achievement, the strangest
building I've ever seen - don't ask me
about an inside-look of the Warez!, it's
just twelve(!) 8x8 floors of nothingness...
... or better it was... for example, this is
the second etage after our third visit,
when we finally got all the rewards in
here... why do people send us gifts we
can't use?! What are we, crap finders?!
... anyway, I guess, you already saw the
Surgery Station before... A gift for Mom,
when she was still in ShowBiz... though It
didn't work, like the rest of the career
rewards... now, at least, Sister was able to
finish tHhat problem, with the mystic
energy for them back or whatever... well,
now guess, who the first victim was to
test this out?
"...and please believe me, Ben, that I'll
totally understand, if you don't want
to do this... I love you, and it's just a
try to get your numerological
addiction out of you by... well,
surgering your nose, so if you..."
" *Sigh* please put your face in the
... and as soon as he did so, the machine
totally malfunctioned, leaving him with a
absolutely deformed face which made him
now perfectly suitable to my dumb
" Alex might have had reservations,
but I don't see a problem strangling
you with the phone cord, Lil'Bro..."
"...Ggg...*breath*... man, can't a guy
make a joke now and then... okay, so
the machine worked perfect and this
was the result... Benjamin Long
became Benjamin 'Short', happy?"
" Better...I just want to add, that Benji's
mental health was developing very
well after that..."
" Oh yeah, I remember... he ran
around, hysterically laughing, while
screaming: 'LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT
ME ! IT'S SHORT! IT'S SHORT !', for
how long? Three hours?"
"...Every Journey has to start with a
"... or a short nose?"
" Should I strangle you again??!"
"*Ulp*, I'll be good..."
... well, eventually, Mr. Sh... Long calmed
down, just in time to test our next career
reward, the Jumbok IV Skull. We spent a
week or so meditating at the Warez! for
regaining some of our motives, then
returned home... for the 'making' of the
next generation... !
... and BANG! Instantely three bolts of
attraction... at least for three Hours...
thankfully they both made it before the
effect wore off... hey, it's the truth, you
needed four(!) tries for the lullaby, now
please, put down the phone cord,
... ah...ahah..., and they say I'm mean?
Anyway, with Amaryllis being pregnant,
Benjamin really came back to his senses...
though for me he just became even
weirder... I mean, we're both Science
Sims, but always rolling family-related
wants? Guess, the theory of 'closet
aspirations' is true after all... my Sister of
course doesn't roll any family wants at
all, not even after the baby was born...
... which turned out to be a girl and
therefore a possible heiress for this
matriarchy... say Hello to Beatrix Eden!
Okay, and now to something completely
... remember our Cats, Rafi and Maja?
Just in case, you missed these strays for
the last pics, there is an easy
explanation... they aren't there anymore!
No, Not dead, at least you won't see any
graves of them on our lot, but something
... our newest household member - except
Beatrix, of course - a cute little black
kitten, that we named Ayn!
Everyone of us liked Ayn from the very
start, especially Mom... heck, she rolled
more wants related to Ayn than she had
ever rolled for one of us children...!
... yes, I admit, even I liked her... but
apparently I was also the first one, who
realized the problems with three cats in
... how to feed them! Thanks to Dates and
Outings, no one in our family even
needed something to eat, but pets... we
had days, where the whimpering of our
cats could be heard all through the house...
it's not a pretty thing, believe me...
... so we're finally forced to give one of
them away... since Rafi was the oldest,
and therefore would die soon anyway, we
gifted him to the GCD... well, it could be
worse, townies seemed to be too
unreliable, thinking of all the stories,
where cats were adopted by their previous
owners again, because they appeared alone
on the streets... and since of the smell... I
suspect that are always a lot of rats in her
... still, even with Rafi away, there still
wasn't enough food in the house... little
kittens really have a BIG apetite...but
fortunately.. or better unfortunately... this
problem was solved by itself... well, when
I said, no pet died on our lot, I meant it
... because Ayn's Mom, Maja, didn't
return from her job at the 'remaining'
police department... something about a
gang fire with the last remaining gangstas
in this area... well, with the family away,
crime was as much down as the police
itself... in fact, pet squads were the last
remaining parts of law enforcement in the
neighborhood, and thanks to Maja, they
finally succeeded in defeating the last
gangs, making the streets safer again,
which brought her a posthume promotion
as the leader of the pet squad, lifting the
security pet restriction... bye Maja, you'll
be forever in our hearts... and No, I'm not
crying, I've just got something in my
eyes, do you hear me!!!...
*Meowr, Meow, Meow* ( 'Well Maja,
wasn't that a clever plan to get you
out of there...?')
*Meow, MeMeow Meowr* ('You're
still the old Showbiz Cat, Rafi... but
what about Ayn?')
*Meoowr* (Don't worry, she'll be
*Meowr, Meow, Meow, Meowr* (In
the meantime... wanna see, what a few
bites of green glowing pet food can do
to an Old cat...?)
*MeOOOWW* ( 'Oooh, Rafi...')
"...*Rrhrm*, Okay, eyes are clean
again, so where was I...?"
"Antoine, have you seen the hammer?
I was sure, it was lying here..."
" Do you want to throw it?"
" Throwing? No, Of course not,
" Okay, here it is... didn't want to risk,
that someone throws it at me only for
telling the truth.."
...well, by now I guess, you've already
figured out, that Nick Wood over there is
the newest member of our house, who, as a
Mad Scientist, automatically unlocks the
Science restrictions... and if you think, it's
gross to move him in as Husband for
Beatrix, while she is still a Baby... well,
it's just Benjamin Long again, second
" I can live with that, I can live with
that, I won't think about it, that it
takes him 21 years before...I will not
count to 21, I will not count to 21..."
... actually, Nick took the whole story a lot
better than the father of the bride...or
perhaps he's already calculating the
amount of money he'll get from marrying
into our family... yes, He's a Fortune Sim
like my sister and my father, Stats
4/7/8/3/3, A gemini with the turn-on hats
and brown hair, and the turn-off fitness.
He brought in ca. 14.000 Simoleons and
at his first day of work a bonus of
50.000... also, with lifting the restriction,
we can now use lights and the Robot
station, and use all the options the
computer has at least tuesday...
... like searching for a job, which I did... as
a matter of fact, I'm currently working as
a High school teacher - or better, I'm
rebuilding the school system - and don't
tell me, how inappropriate this Job seems
to be for me! If my nicey-nice brother can
be a criminal, I can as well be a teacher
who beats some sense into all these
juvenile delinquents out there...yes, it IS
in fact my lifetime want, so what?!
- As a last note: Ayn happily survived her
harsh time as a kitten and is now an adult
cat - and a strange mixture of her Mom
and Dad's colours. She's in fact a bit
dumb, but really playful and rather brave,
that's why we got here an job in...
... the service pet career. Fortunately, it
was the first job in the paper at her first
day of adulthood, so at least we won't
have to worry anymore about feeding... I
think, she still eats too much...
... okay, so that was it this time, I'm fed
up with writing all this... if you want to
complain, cause you didn't like it, I just
have to say: I don't care! Now get lost,
" Antoine... you seriously have
" I'm not! Mom, It's not my fault, if
most people are stupid and..."
" YOUNG MAN! I never was an
Angel, and there are, in fact, people I
dislike, even hate, but accusing
everyone out there to be stupid is
NOT, I repeat, is NOT an acceptable
" ...Mom, I..."
" I.hope.we.understand.each other! "
"...sorry, mom... ehrm, and sorry
everyone out there, I...didn't mean it...
" *Sigh*... I really wish, you'd look
after some friends for you, Antoine...
please promise me to do that, yes?"
"... okay, Mom..."
"... that's my boy..."
meanwhile, at the Outskirts of the
"... Ah, there you are, Dad...uhh... is
everything alright, you look so...?"
" Don't bother with my temporary
appearance, now where's my evil
"Ehrr... right behind me, Dad?"
" THAT? But... that's just..."
"...my house! "
" Well... yeah, I thought, it would be
the best solution, to transport it over
here from home, so you can better..."
"I said: EVIL HEADQUARTER! A
Fortress, something big, or frightful,
something impressive, do you
" But back home, you didn't need..."
" Because it was home! I'm already
feared there, so I don't need anything
else anymore to impress people! Here,
I first have to gain myself respect, isn't
that obvious?! But of course, never let
an Imbecile do a job for..."
" Okay, that's it! I don't know, which
bee has stung you, Dad, but I don't
have to take this from you, is that
clear?! If you think, you can do better,
do it, but leave me out of this!"
" YOU...See that big plant over there?
If you don't immediately pay some
respect to your old man..."
" ... or you feed me to the Cowplant?!
Oh, I'm so frightened... perhaps I
should feed YOU to it, 'Old Man'...
you even already look like 'dad'
"...hmpf... we'll discuss this at a later
time, now where are the zombies...?"
Well, I made a deal with Grim, instead
of traveling with all of them, I asked
him to revive them later and
immediately teleport over here, it's
" Okay, fine, I'm not interested... as
long as they dance... hey, did you
remember to cut the roses?"
" Yeesss... now should I call Grim or
" Yeah, yeah, of course... I think, you
forgot to give them water..."
" No, Dad, I didn't... Hello? Yes, Hi
Grim, it's me... yes, you can get them
here now... oh, just teleport them on
the street, okay?"
[INSERT TELEPORT NOISE HERE!]
" You know... shouldn't there be like...
a green mist instead of light? "
" ... Dad, please... shut up..."
WARNING: Dear reader, looking at
the next pages will be on your own
risk. If you're faint-hearted or have a
weak stomach, better take precautions
" EEEEK! DON, there are...
" Well, Samara, actually we're all
zombies, so I don't really see the
" But... but they are ugly!"
" Samara, about ugly... we're all from
Candies Uglacy, so I don't really see..."
" RRRR... they are... ugly zombies....
not made by Candie, okay?!!!"
" Well Samara, I'm actually a former
maxis-made member of the secret
" *snicker*, just kiddin' my darling,
you're right, they're really ugly..."
- meet the 'Don Uglacy'-family: Don
Uglacy himself, his wife Samara at the
right (her Original Dress somehow
didn't work), and their children
Donna (forgot the Custom hair...) and
Zip Uglacy, all credit to Candie020765
for making them... except for Don, of
WAAAAAH! That's so mean... I'm
" As the mother of this child - at least
that's what my §%$& family tree says
- but especially in my name, I'm
really, really displeased about the fact,
that you accuse me..., I mean us, as
ugly! Have you ever seen into the
mirror, YOU look like...!"
" Yeah, whatever, cool down, bloody
wrench... *hm, this guy with the
ripped-open face kinda has a nice bod
to move...* "
" Psst, pal, I think the trashface over
there is checking you out!"
" UUuuh... man, what a visage... I
could get nightmares only from
looking at her..."
" Hi my name is... ups, I guess, this
part of my brain is already
decomposing... and you are..?"
" Ehrr, I'm Zip..."
" Zip, that's a nice name... sooo... do
you have a girlfriend, Zip?"
" Well, ye... ehhr, no offense, but aren't
you a bit fast forward with such a
" Oh no, that's only to speed up
things, before my body rots away...
soo, interested in a bit fun with me
before it's too late, Zippie...?"
"...Hey, I recognize you! Aren't
"... Scherzanda Arduenna... gosh, am I
glad, to see another Zomlebrity here,
already thought, I'm the only one
between all these download-only
fags... and you were...?"
"I'm Donna... don't look at my hair,
normally, It's more cool... I was the
cute toddler captured by Loki Beaker
in Candies Prettacy... and you did
something with an Apocalypse,
" 's true... I was the 'accidential' Alien,
that was born before Robinoli actually
lifted Natural Science, then had an
Cowplant accident... guess, now I'm in
an apocalypse challenge again..."
" We're in an apocalypse? How can
" Well, this is a desert neighborhood,
there are a lot of zombies around and
it's feeling like winter... nuclear winter
or so... seems to be pretty much an
" Wow, astounding, Scherzanda
" Elementary, my dear Donna..."
- '...And how did you die?'
- 'Nah, epileptic... I hate the internet!'
- ' I died in a fire... the fire engine had
an accident, somehow an idiot
crashed in them...'
- I had a car accident with a fire
- I was killed by a ball.'
- 'A ball?'
- yes, a ball - believe me, they are
more dangerous than it looks...'
" THIS... this should be an army?! I
wanted bloodthirsty, soulless
zombies... well dancing, bloodthirsty,
soulless zombies... but not an army
of... of blatherskites!!!"
" Oh, now it's my fault again, right?
Do you have any idea, how difficult it
was, to persuade Grimmy, that It has
to be 'dancing' zombies? Seriously
Dad, a lot of humans even can't dance,
and zombies are either too brainless to
know how to dance, or too smart to
take the risk of losing remaining
Okay, you babbling idiots, SILENCE! I
AM SONICDUDE! I'M YOUR
MASTER, YOUR LORD...!"
- 'What does that funny guy cry
- 'Something about Lord...'
- 'A preacher? You know, I'm actually
- 'A buddhist? What do you have to
do, to be reborn as a zombie...?'
- 'Well, first you need three eggs...'
"... Hhh, Hhh... okay, let me rephrase
that... OBEY.. OR..or.. ehr.. no, they're
already dead...ehr.. OR I'LL MAKE
YOU WATCH THE COMPLETE
MOVIE COLLECTION OF UWE
- 'Heavens, that's... that's inhuman...!'
- 'We'll be good, we'll be good...'
" Wheeew... didn't think, that this
would actually work..."
" The complete...? Dad, that was the
most cruel threat you ever pulled..."
" Ehrr... yes *coughCough*... see, this
is what happens to everyone who ever
steps in the way of the omnipotent,
" *sigh*...yes Dad, I got it..."
"... but still... why dancing zombies,
Dad? I mean, I understand the whole
Bloodthirsty and Soulless thing, but
dancing? Why? "
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a
You hear the door slam and realize there's
nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if
you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope this is just
But all the while you hear the creature
You're out of time
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside of
They're out to get you, there's demons
closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change
the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle
All thru the night I'll save you from the
terror on the screen
I'll make you see
That this is thriller, thriller night
'cause I can thrill you more than any
ghost would dare to try
Girl this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you thight and share a
killer, diller , chiller
Thriller here tonight
Free after Michael Jackson, 'Thriller' -.
" Okay, this is it! I'm out of this!
Conquer this neighborhood, win a
dance contest, kill yourself - again - I
don't care, but I - will - not - cuddle -
with - you Dad, Egads!!!"
"H... Hey, that's only the lyrics, that
has nothing to do..."
"Good - Night !"
- 'Didn't she like the dance?'
- 'Well, perhaps, because some of us
just couldn't hold the rythm.'
- 'Why are you staring at me for that?'
- 'I'm not staring, I don't have eyelids
anymore, and the right one is about to
- 'Perhaps we should give it another
run... has anyone seen my leg?'
" Don, she's right, this is even starting
to creep ME out...."
"..'cause this is hmhm,
" DON! "
to be continued...
" Okay, so it's decided, you come all
over here and... no, nothing formal,
just dress conventional... yes, if you
want, even unconventional... No,
we're NOT having a party, this is an
important meeting I try to initiate, not
a folk dancing, you... yes, yes , this
goes for you all, now set yourself in
motion... see you..."
" Dammit... if only Plutonium hasn't
messed all this up... now I have to
share power... oh well, I guess there
will be a possibility to get rid of them
later...where did I put that Axe
" Dammit, Count, what is it this time,
I'm currently setting an evil scheme in
motion, I don't have time for... what
" Well, Surprised? Since you fired our
last servant, I thought about hiring
someone else... and look, how lucky I
got... I mean we got lucky... I could
hire a butler and a french maid, who
will even clean at night... isn't that
" Count, you..."
" Ahhh yes, my dear, may I present
your our new servants, Mr. Piff-Paff
and Miss Purple... that was the name,
right? Anyway, they've already
experience working in a castle, and
since their last employer
unfortunately died, they're in search
of a new position, so I hired them...
well, what do you say?"
Piff-Paff and Pur... ehr, of course Riff-
Raff and Magenta, both characters
from the Rocky Horror Picture Show,
were made by Dxvid (Riff-Raff) and
" Count, this is the most... the most...!"
"... wonderful idea, my love?! Oh
don't thank me, dearest, I'll do
anything for you... still, you can show
me your gratefulness, when we play
Hunt-the-sock again, hehehe...."
"...rrrgh.... Count, did it ever occur to
you, that It's a bad time for...
'surprises', when I'm currently only in
"... uhm, well... now that you said it..."
" Or that your... 'new' servants don't
look like the type I wouldn't even
thrust over the length of my nose...
especially 'my' nose...?"
"... do you think so? I thought..."
" And last, but not least....."
" WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU
DOING IN MY HEELS, STOCKING
AND CORSET??!!! "
" Oooh.... I already wondered, why it
was so thight around my... but, you
know, wearing these is somehow...
arousing... do you girls wear these
things all the time,
"...Laser ready, brother...?"
" ... yes, sister..."
to be continued...
"... Was this epilogue really
" ... yeah, I don't get it at all... it just
seemed a sad excuse for: 'Hey look,
what I did!' or so..."
" Guys, you don't get it at all... it's all
about the Show, it HAD to be in... the
movie wasn't received well in the
beginning, too... just think of what this
could develop into...!"
"If you say so, Robin, if you say so...
now what's the thing with this hunk
there, showing us his muscles...?"
"Ooooh.... Wedding Scene, Wedding
"Isn't this rather the Pool scene...?"
" OH, Oh, Oh, guys, look at that, it's
Captain Jack Sparrow!"
" Huh? Who's there, who said that?"
" Ohh, It's me Sir, Captain Jack
Sparrow, Sir, I'm Frank, I'm a big fan
" You're... a stilt?"
"Yes sir, Captain Sparrow, Sir, I'm
Frank the Stilt, Sir! Are you searching
for treasures here, Captain?"
"... I'm rather searching for a way back
to Tortuga, mate. I guess, you don't
know, where the next harbor is...?"
" Uuuh, no Sir, Captain, Sir... but Sir,
can I be part of your Crew? Oh please,
I always wanted to be a pirate, since I
was a little stilt... or perhaps I could be
the figurehead of the Pearl? What do
you think, Captain?"
"... I... think, I need a rum now... I'm
currently sober and now I'm hearing
stilts talking... "
to be... well you know already...