Unfinished Business The Movie is teaching you the lessons that didn't come with your MBA. Learn how to land the deal of your life while three sheets to the wind. Want more advice from Unfinished Business? Check out our other decks here: http://www.slideshare.net/UnfinishedBusiness

1. HOW TO PARTY WITH
CLIENTS…AND KEEP
YOUR JOB
SEAL THE DEAL WHILE THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND
BROUGHT TO YOU BY

2. INTRODUCTION
• Three martini lunches are a thing
of the past. To seal the deal
nowadays, you need to wine,
dine and dazzle the clients in a
whole new way (with a whole
new set of substances)
• Clients want to bond with you over beer, toast success with bubbly
and just get f*cking pissed whenever
• This guide will give you everything you need to know for sealing the
deal with your client while partying your ass off

3. HOW TO DRINK LIKE A PRO
• Think you already drink like a pro?
Think again. Nailing a beer pong cup
means nothing in the business world
• Employees whose blood alcohol level is
higher than 1.008% have a better
chance at a raise than sober suckers
• From a survey of 100 random office
workers, 71% of employed
professionals attribute landing a deal
while heavily under influence of alcohol
• 81% of business meetings now involve
booze. Your liver must be a MACHINE
64% of CEOs drink
top-shelf scotch
11% of CEOs change
their drink according to
season
88% of CEOs avoid
beer unless at a
corporate BBQ or sports
event
27% of Forbes Richest
people agree martinis
are making a comeback.
Very dirty and stirred.
DRINK LIKE A BOSS

4. BUSINESS DINNER
ETIQUETTE 101
• Business dinners are a test of
character. 80% of communication is
expressed by body language, so sit
pretty
• Napkins go on your lap. You’re a
boss, not a savage
• 58% of top-level execs guess which
fork is the salad fork. 17% are
successful
• Texting at the table is a no-no. If you
need text your DTF hook-up, do it
under the table
79%
12% 8%
1%
Phone Use at the Table
• Flagrantly text and make calls
• Surreptitiously text from their lap
• Excuse themselves and text from
the bathroom
• Are able to completely switch off

5. OWNING YOUR CORPORATE
EVENT FROM DUSK TILL DAWN
• Never be the first to arrive. Early
birds are not party legends
• Prepare a signature phrase you
will repeat throughout the night.
Instead of “nice to meet you,”
wow your clients and co-workers
with a greeting like “time to get
TURNT!”
• Don’t ever let the party end
before 5AM. Strippers on speed
dial is an excellent after-party
suggestion
42% of execs prefer an
8-ball of coke
18% suggest E is the
key to keeping the party
going
26% believe weed will
cure any hangover if
smoked the night before
14% swear by an
energy drink and double
vodka to keep the
energy flowing
BEST CHEMICALS TO KEEP
THE NIGHT GOING

6. BLACKOUTS AND BULLSHITTING
According to survey findings:
• 22% of junior employees report
getting raises from heavily
inebriated CEO
• 46% of all employees use black
mail to get what they want from a
client who’s shared personal
information after 3+ drinks
• 9% of managers sign
over the lease to their
car and/or house after
4+ hours of drinking
Top Tips
 The elusive blackout zone
is where you are most
successful at bullshitting
clients and coercing CEOs
 Pepper conversations with
jargon - KPIs, ROIs, SMART
goals, BJs - to give the
illusion of intelligence
 Photographic evidence of
the night’s events ensures
longevity and success in
any industry

7. SUMMARY
Forget the weights; train your liver instead
Dotted lines should be signed after
you’ve found the bottom of a bottle (or two)
Pot: making strangers clients and clients
friends since 1619
Cheers.

8. You’re Welcome.