My keynote talk from Agile Saturday XIII in Estonia, about The Responsibility Process and leadership.

1. Leadership begins with
responsibility
Ari Tanninen
13th Agile Saturday, Tallinn
May 6th 2017
“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as
by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to
you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
— Lewis L. Dunnington

2. Image: pixabay

3. What is responsibility?

4. Image: Wikimedia Commons / United States Navy

5. The Responsibility Process
Denial
Lay Blame
Justify
Shame
Obligation
Responsibility
Quit
Upset or
problem

6. The Responsibility Process
• Mental states triggered automatically when we get upset
• Coping strategies / comfort zones to alleviate anxiety
• Key idea: push through them to get to true responsibility
• Based on 20+ years of studies by Bill McCarley and
Christopher Avery
• Natural and human

7. Step Symptoms
Diagnosis
(in your head)
Remedy
(the way to feeling better)
Responsibility
“I choose to”
Feeling powerful
Feeling ownership
Results that matter
The problem may be an effect of a larger issue
I am missing something from the big picture
Somehow I contributed to the issue
The problem is how my mind sees the problem
Face the pain
Look for truth & root issue
Solve the root issue for good
Quit
"Whatever", cynical comments
Denying you want it
Feeling incomplete, longing
No results
This is so painful I can’t take it
I can’t do anything
Give up
Disengage mentally
Chocolate ice-cream or red wine
Obligation
“We should”, “I must”
Procrastination, resentment
Minimal results
I have no choice
I am trapped
I have to but I don’t want to
Do the bare minimum and get it
over with
Shame
“I am so stupid”
Feeling guilt
It’s my fault and I deserve to suffer
I can’t do anything
I need to change
Justify
“That’s just how things are”
Venting
The situation is responsible
I can’t do anything
Situation needs to change
Lay Blame
“X is such a…”
Venting
X is responsible
I can’t do anything
X needs to change
Denial “Problem? What problem?”

8. Self-apply only
• Easy to see in others but very difficult to see in yourself
• Demonstrate rather than impose
• Demand responsibility —> obligation, shame
• Demand responsibility of yourself —> obligation, shame
• One can only act from Responsibility if it’s their free choice
Image: Wikimedia Commons / National Nuclear Security Administration
“All leadership beginswith self-leadership.”— Christopher Avery

9. Acknowledge
mistakes,
forgive yourself,
and move on!
Image: Wikimedia Commons

10. Denial
Lay Blame
Justify
Shame
Obligation
Responsibility
Quit
Power cycle
Control cycle

11. Control Cycle
What is right?
What should I do?
Advice
This is bad!
This is wrong!
How do I get
back in control?
Evaluation
Choosing
control
I just have to follow
these rules/checklist/
policy to get back in
control!
Compliance

12. Kuva: pixabay

13. Power Cycle
Choosing
power
I am missing something.
What is going on? How did
I contribute to this? What
do I feel and need? What
false belief or assumption I
am holding?
Looking
Aha!
Clarity
I can deal with this!
I want to deal with this!
Trust

14. Kuva: pixabay

15. Denial
Lay Blame
Justify
Shame
Obligation
Responsibility
Quit
Problem
Choosing
power
Looking
Clarity
Trust
Advice
Evaluation
Choosing
control
Compliance

16. Three keys to Responsibility
• Intent to operate from responsibility when upset,
and to refuse to operate from lay blame, justify,
shame, or obligation
• Awareness of my mental states, myself, others,
and my environment
• Confront myself and reality to see what is true

17. Some tools
• Journalling
• Meditation
• Catch it quicker game
• Observing others
• Invite trusted friends to remind you
• Practice groups Image: flickr / Andy Ciordia

18. Accountability vs.
Responsibility

19. Denial
Lay Blame
Justify
Shame
Obligation
Responsibility
Quit{
“Shame on you!”
“You must apologize!”
Mental states endorsed by society
“How can you
be so stupid!”
“If you don’t clean your
room, mommy feels sad.”
“Give that cookie back to your brother!”
{
“Stop making excuses
and take responsibility!”
Mental states renounced by society
“No one likes a whiner!”
“Are you avoiding
responsibility?”
“Man up!”

21. Advice
Evaluation
Choosing
control
Compliance
Problem

23. Image: flickr / kirsten

24. Image: flickr / kirsten

25. Leaderhip begins with
the words “I want”.

26. Responsibility cannot be forced.
Control suffocates.
Organization inherits leader’s mental state.
Lead by example.
Choose responsibility and the power cycle.
Leadership begins with leading yourself.
Therefore

27. freedom
ease
power
choice
compulsion
anxiety
impotence
no choice

28. Have
compassion!
We are just
human, after all.
Image: flickr / Ben Francis

29. “Responsibility is owning your
power and ability to create,
choose, and attract your life.”
— Christopher Avery

30. Load a poster:
https://www.christopheravery.com/responsibility-process-poster
The Responsibility Process by Christopher Avery (7 min)
https://youtu.be/-T3IZ2ISxag