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Conflict
Resolution
Conflict
 Any   disagreement, struggle, or fight.

 Someconflicts may be trivial like a
 squabble between siblings over a TV
 remote.

 Others   can be serious, or even deadly.
Common Causes of Conflict
 Power  struggles
 Personal Loyalties
 Jealousy and envy
 Property disputes
 Conflicting attitudes and values.
 Lack of respect.
Results of Conflict:
 Positive:
     Improve communication skills
     Problem-Solving skills
     Strengthen Relationships
 Negative:
     Stress
     Anger, frustration, fear and emotional pain
     Violence, injury
Conflict in Friendships:
Bullying
Conflict: Bullying
 Bullyingcan be verbal or non-
  verbal, physical or non-physical.
 Can be direct, like hitting, teasing or
  making threats.
 Can also be indirect, like
  rumors, manipulation, isolation and
  exclusion.
 A bully may be one person acting
  independently or a clique or a group of
  people.
Cyber-bullying
 Theuse of internet and related
 technologies to harm other people, in a
 deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner.
Remember
 Everything said over the
 internet, texting, etc. is ALWAYS there.
 There is always a way to access what has
 been sent. Even if you delete, it can still
 be accessed!
Roles
   Victim
       The one being attacked or harassed
   Bully
       The harasser or attacker
   Bystander
       The watcher, doesn’t say stop, doesn’t say go.
        Doesn’t say anything.
   Ally
       The one to stand up and stop the harassment
Sometimes we may not know
if we bully.
   “Whoever said sticks and
    stones can break my bones
    but words will never harm
    me, was a total idiot! Unkind
    words can crush you.”
              Sean Covey



   Write a behavior that could
    hurt someone or make them
    feel bad such as calling
    someone an ethnic
    name, or tripping someone.
Bullying: How to Handle it
   Don’t give the bully a chance.
       As much as you can avoid the bully. Take a different route to
        avoid him or her if possible. De-friend them on
        facebook, twitter, etc.
   Stand tall and be brave
       When you’re scared of a person you’re probably not feeling
        your bravest. Sometimes just acting brace is enough to stop a
        bully. Stand tall and you’ll send the message: “Don’t mess with
        me”.
   Feel good about you
       Nobody’s perfect, but do what you can to look and feel your
        best.
   Get a buddy (and be a buddy).
       Two is better than one when trying to avoid being bullied. Make
        a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school or
        recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully.
        Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble.
If the Bully Says or Does
Something
   Ignore the bully.
       Try your best to ignore the bully treats. Pretend you don’t hear them
        and walk away quickly to a place of safety.
   Stand up for yourself.
       Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully “No! stop it!”
        in a loud voice. Then walk away or run if you have to. Students can
        also stand up for each other by telling the bully to stop teasing or
        scaring someone else, then walk away together.
   Don’t bully back.
       Don’t hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or
        your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and is dangerous too.
        You’re also likely to get in trouble.
   Don’t show your feelings.
       Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or
        showing you’re upset?
   Tell an adult
       If you are being bullied it is important to tell an adult. Find someone
        you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you.
Conflict in Family and Sibling
Relationships and Dating:
Violence
Conflict: Violence
 Thethreatened or actual use of physical
 force or power to harm another person or
 to damage property.
Characteristics of Abusers
   Very Jealous, has a short temper
   Reacts physically: hits the wall, kicks the
    dog, etc.
   Raised in an abusive home
   Macho type, must always be the on in control
   May or may not batter children
   Believe they have the right to beat other
    people
   Think victims enjoy or need the abuse
Characteristics of Victims of Abuse
     Raised in an abusive home (was abused or
      witnessed abuse)
     Low self-esteem, insecure, feel they deserve
      the abuse, guilty, etc.
     Isolated-not allowed to form close
      relationships with others
     Resists giving up on marriage, doesn’t want to
      feel they have failed, wants to help the
      abuser change
     Fear of leaving the abuser or of other family
      members being hurt
Dating Violence
 Qualities   of unhealthy relationships
     Controlling
     Manipulation
     Verbal insults
     Mean language
     Put downs
     Physical violence
     Isolation from family and friends
     Intimidation or threats
Will marriage make the
abusive behavior go away?
   Abuse only gets worse after marriage
   People stay in abusive situations for many
    reasons
       Financial dependence
       Social implications
       Fear
       They believe they caused it
       They believe the violence is temporary
       They believe they should understand the abuser
       Personal incompetence.
Marital Abuse
   Wife abuse is the biggest danger to women
   95% of physical battering is down by the male.
    However, when the wife does the battering she is
    more likely to kill
   Avoid marital abuse by:
       Not getting involved with an abusive character.
       Don’t let it start.
       Look for warning signs when dating.
       If it happens once, insist the other person getting
        therapy.
       If it happens several times, call the police.
Examples of Intensity
MILD         MODERATE       SEVERE           FATAL

 Shoving     Punching    Threaten     Stranglin
                            with         g
 Pushing     Kicking
                            weapon
                           Battering    Stabbing

 Slapping    Choking
                           Stomping     Shooting
Violence in the Media
 Every  day, children are exposed to violent
  words and images in
  television, movies, song lyrics and video
  games.
 Scenes that feature violence often fail to
  show its harmful consequences
Assisting in an Abusive Situation

 Tohelp someone else in an abusive situation, call
 the police. It is too dangerous for you to
 intercede.

 Offer   emotional support to the victim afterwards.
What are some other forms of
          conflict?

         Families?

          Siblings?
Resolving Conflict
 Assume  you don’t have all the answers
 Ask questions to understand the other
  person(s).
 Be prepared to compromise or make a
  deal.
Steps
   1. STOP. Don't let the conflict get worse. The less
    angry you are the easier it will be to solve the
    problem.
   2. SAY what the conflict is about. What is causing
    the disagreement? What does each of you want
    or not want?
   3. THINK of positive options. How could you meet
    each other's needs and be fair?
   4. CHOOSE a positive option each of you can
    agree on.
   If you still can't agree, ask someone else (an
    outsider) to help resolve the conflict.
Rules
   Agree to resolve the conflict.
   No name calling.
   Take turns talking. Don't interrupt.
   Be clear and truthful about what is bothering
    you and what you really need.
   Listen to the other person. Be sure you
    understand how he or she sees the problem.
   Use your brains, not your hands.
   Be willing to compromise (if that's
    appropriate).
 Sometimes we may not engage, and
 others may treat us poorly.

 What  is the best way to respond in these
 situations?

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Conflict resolution

  • 2. Conflict  Any disagreement, struggle, or fight.  Someconflicts may be trivial like a squabble between siblings over a TV remote.  Others can be serious, or even deadly.
  • 3. Common Causes of Conflict  Power struggles  Personal Loyalties  Jealousy and envy  Property disputes  Conflicting attitudes and values.  Lack of respect.
  • 4. Results of Conflict:  Positive:  Improve communication skills  Problem-Solving skills  Strengthen Relationships  Negative:  Stress  Anger, frustration, fear and emotional pain  Violence, injury
  • 6. Conflict: Bullying  Bullyingcan be verbal or non- verbal, physical or non-physical.  Can be direct, like hitting, teasing or making threats.  Can also be indirect, like rumors, manipulation, isolation and exclusion.  A bully may be one person acting independently or a clique or a group of people.
  • 7. Cyber-bullying  Theuse of internet and related technologies to harm other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner.
  • 8. Remember  Everything said over the internet, texting, etc. is ALWAYS there. There is always a way to access what has been sent. Even if you delete, it can still be accessed!
  • 9. Roles  Victim  The one being attacked or harassed  Bully  The harasser or attacker  Bystander  The watcher, doesn’t say stop, doesn’t say go. Doesn’t say anything.  Ally  The one to stand up and stop the harassment
  • 10. Sometimes we may not know if we bully.  “Whoever said sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me, was a total idiot! Unkind words can crush you.”  Sean Covey  Write a behavior that could hurt someone or make them feel bad such as calling someone an ethnic name, or tripping someone.
  • 11. Bullying: How to Handle it  Don’t give the bully a chance.  As much as you can avoid the bully. Take a different route to avoid him or her if possible. De-friend them on facebook, twitter, etc.  Stand tall and be brave  When you’re scared of a person you’re probably not feeling your bravest. Sometimes just acting brace is enough to stop a bully. Stand tall and you’ll send the message: “Don’t mess with me”.  Feel good about you  Nobody’s perfect, but do what you can to look and feel your best.  Get a buddy (and be a buddy).  Two is better than one when trying to avoid being bullied. Make a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble.
  • 12. If the Bully Says or Does Something  Ignore the bully.  Try your best to ignore the bully treats. Pretend you don’t hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety.  Stand up for yourself.  Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully “No! stop it!” in a loud voice. Then walk away or run if you have to. Students can also stand up for each other by telling the bully to stop teasing or scaring someone else, then walk away together.  Don’t bully back.  Don’t hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and is dangerous too. You’re also likely to get in trouble.  Don’t show your feelings.  Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you’re upset?  Tell an adult  If you are being bullied it is important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you.
  • 13. Conflict in Family and Sibling Relationships and Dating: Violence
  • 14. Conflict: Violence  Thethreatened or actual use of physical force or power to harm another person or to damage property.
  • 15. Characteristics of Abusers  Very Jealous, has a short temper  Reacts physically: hits the wall, kicks the dog, etc.  Raised in an abusive home  Macho type, must always be the on in control  May or may not batter children  Believe they have the right to beat other people  Think victims enjoy or need the abuse
  • 16. Characteristics of Victims of Abuse  Raised in an abusive home (was abused or witnessed abuse)  Low self-esteem, insecure, feel they deserve the abuse, guilty, etc.  Isolated-not allowed to form close relationships with others  Resists giving up on marriage, doesn’t want to feel they have failed, wants to help the abuser change  Fear of leaving the abuser or of other family members being hurt
  • 17. Dating Violence  Qualities of unhealthy relationships  Controlling  Manipulation  Verbal insults  Mean language  Put downs  Physical violence  Isolation from family and friends  Intimidation or threats
  • 18. Will marriage make the abusive behavior go away?  Abuse only gets worse after marriage  People stay in abusive situations for many reasons  Financial dependence  Social implications  Fear  They believe they caused it  They believe the violence is temporary  They believe they should understand the abuser  Personal incompetence.
  • 19. Marital Abuse  Wife abuse is the biggest danger to women  95% of physical battering is down by the male. However, when the wife does the battering she is more likely to kill  Avoid marital abuse by:  Not getting involved with an abusive character.  Don’t let it start.  Look for warning signs when dating.  If it happens once, insist the other person getting therapy.  If it happens several times, call the police.
  • 20. Examples of Intensity MILD MODERATE SEVERE FATAL  Shoving  Punching  Threaten  Stranglin with g  Pushing  Kicking weapon  Battering  Stabbing  Slapping  Choking  Stomping  Shooting
  • 21. Violence in the Media  Every day, children are exposed to violent words and images in television, movies, song lyrics and video games.  Scenes that feature violence often fail to show its harmful consequences
  • 22. Assisting in an Abusive Situation  Tohelp someone else in an abusive situation, call the police. It is too dangerous for you to intercede.  Offer emotional support to the victim afterwards.
  • 23. What are some other forms of conflict? Families? Siblings?
  • 24. Resolving Conflict  Assume you don’t have all the answers  Ask questions to understand the other person(s).  Be prepared to compromise or make a deal.
  • 25. Steps  1. STOP. Don't let the conflict get worse. The less angry you are the easier it will be to solve the problem.  2. SAY what the conflict is about. What is causing the disagreement? What does each of you want or not want?  3. THINK of positive options. How could you meet each other's needs and be fair?  4. CHOOSE a positive option each of you can agree on.  If you still can't agree, ask someone else (an outsider) to help resolve the conflict.
  • 26. Rules  Agree to resolve the conflict.  No name calling.  Take turns talking. Don't interrupt.  Be clear and truthful about what is bothering you and what you really need.  Listen to the other person. Be sure you understand how he or she sees the problem.  Use your brains, not your hands.  Be willing to compromise (if that's appropriate).
  • 27.  Sometimes we may not engage, and others may treat us poorly.  What is the best way to respond in these situations?