1. MANAGING ANGER
Caring for Myself
By:
Dr. Bijaya Bhusan Nanda, Deputy Director,
Gopabandhu Academy of Administration

2. Managing Anger
Manage anger that lead to stronger relationships and
fewer problems.
Objectives
To Understand, what is anger and what happens
when we are Angry
To become aware of different anger management
styles.
To learn positive techniques for managing anger.

3. SHARING OF EXPERIENCE
 Why and When Anger occurs?
 Is it wrong to have feelings of
anger?
 When can feelings of anger result
in something good happening?
 When can feelings of anger result
in something bad?

4. General Belief System of Anger
• Anger is a normal and necessary emotion.
• It is not wrong to experience feelings of anger.
• Everyone experiences feelings of anger; some people
experience it more intensely and often than other
people.
• Anger is your body’s way of telling you that something
is wrong. It is your body’s response to an unmet need,
expectation or belief.

5. • Anger can feel wrong to some people because they have
been taught that feeling/expressing anger is not good.
• Anger can appear wrong when people express it in
inappropriate ways, such as using violence.
• When expressed appropriately, anger can lead to having
your needs met, without hindering the needs of others.
• Appropriate expressions of anger can lead to stronger
relationships and more satisfying situations.
Anyone can become angry – that is so easy.
But to become angry with the right person, to
the right degree, at the right time, for the right
purpose and in the right way – that is not so
easy.

6. How Anger feelings are expressed?
 Enraged,  Boiling,
 Irritated,  Heated up,
 Ticked off,  Incensed,
 Perturbed,  Displeased,
 Steaming,  Fuming,
 Frustrated,  Offended,
 Furious,  Mad.
 Annoyed,
 Upset,
 Up in Arms”,
Feelings of anger can be a common,
everyday occurrence for people.

7. What happens to you, when you
feel Angry?
• Body goes into a fight or flight response. Chemicals are
released into your bloodstream to prime you up for the
fight or help you flee the situation.
• These powerful chemicals cause your body to undergo
extreme changes.
• Breathing begins to increases and blood is detoured
away from the internal organs and shunts it to your
muscles for strength.
• Pupils dilate, vision sharpen and awareness intensifies.
• Rational mind is disengaged and thoughts become
distorted.
• You are in your anger attack mode and ready to fight.

8. • The fight or flight reaction gears you up for battle,
however most times there really is no battle to fight.
• When you face real dangers in the world, this fight or
flight response is invaluable to your survival, but when
you are in a constant state of fight or flight day after day
your health can begin to suffer.
• The powerful chemicals accumulate and make your body
pay a price for being in a constant high energy state.
• People with chronic anger are more likely to have:
– suppressed immune systems,
– gastrointestinal problems: irritable bowel syndrome and ulcers.
– heart attacks and strokes,
– blood pressure.

9. • Science Daily (June 1, 2010) — When we get angry, the
heart rate, arterial tension and testosterone production
increases, cortisol (the stress hormone) decreases, and
the left hemisphere of the brain becomes more
stimulated. This is indicated by a new investigation lead
by scientists from the University of Valencia (UV) that
analyses the changes in the brain's cardiovascular,
hormonal and asymmetric activation response when we
get angry.

10. My Anger Management Style
Your Place a 0, 1, or 2 in the column labeled “Your Score.”
Score 0 means that the item is never or rarely true for you
1 means that the item is sometimes true
2 means that the item is almost always true for you.
1. I am blunt and forceful when things don’t go my way.
2. I avoid or withdraw from people when I am angry with them.
3. I complain about people behind their back, but not to their face.
4. I disagree with others without attacking them or becoming defensive.
5. I don’t keep grudges or seek revenge when problems cannot be
solved.
6. I don’t like to let other people know when I am angry.
7. I feel like hitting someone who makes me very angry.
8. I don’t like to express my anger.
9. I am depressed or moody.
10. I look for solutions that make everyone happy.

11. 11. I politely, but firmly, tell others when I am angry.
12. I repent and feel sorry for myself when I am angry.
13. I cover my anger by drinking, taking drugs, or overeating.
14. I swear loudly to blow off steam.
15. I take some time to calm down before talking with others.
16. I try not to let my anger show
17. I use sarcasm and “little jokes or names” to make people look
bad or feel bad.
18. If I’m very upset, I’ll hit something.
19. If things are bad enough, I’ll throw something.
20. When I am angry, I become silent to make it obvious that I am
unhappy.
See Scoring on next page

12. SCORING
Put “your score” for each item in the matching box. Add the scores for each
Row and put the total in the last box, e.g., Style A total is #1 + #7 + #14 + #18
+ #19 = A: ____
Totals
#1 #7 # 14 # 18 # 19 A:
#6 #8 #9 # 13 # 16 B:
#2 #3 # 12 # 17 # 20 C:
#4 #5 # 10 # 11 # 15 D:

13. Anger Management Styles
Style A-Open Aggression:
This style uses physical or verbal force to get rid of the threats
to the person as a natural reactions to severe stress. There are
very few situations where open aggression is an appropriate
response. Open aggression often leads to increased anger and
more problems. Research has found that people who vent anger
in aggressive ways tend to become more angry rather than less.
Style B-Suppressed Anger: Pretend not to be angry
They ignore their angry feelings. They feel uncomfortable
expressing anger and don’t want other people to know when
they are angry. Anger that is ignored does not go away. This
may lead to headaches, ulcers, stomachaches, or other physical
illnesses because their anger is simmering below the surface. It
also does not get rid of the problem that is causing the anger.

14. Style C-Passive Aggressive: They choose to show their anger
in indirect ways, instead of confronting the problem head on. They
often hope the other person will notice that they are angry by
pouting, refusing to talk, or giving nonverbal clues, such as
slamming a door or stomping their feet. This anger management
style also tries to get back at the person by talking about them
behind their back, “belittling” them, or using sarcasm. Similar to
open aggression, this style of anger management often leads to
increased anger and problems.
Style D-Assertive Problem Solving: They choose to
pay attention to their anger signs and deal with problems in an
assertive manner and express their anger in polite and honest
ways. They are able to confront other people without attacking
them personally and don’t become defensive when talking
about differences. They seek to resolve problems in mutually
acceptable ways. People with this anger management style are
able to release their angry emotions and forgive other people,
even when problems are not able to be resolved. They do not
carry grudges or bitterness. This style promotes good personal
health and strong relationships.

15. Anger Management Style - Assertive Problem
Solving
The Assertive Problem Solving style of anger
management can be summed up using the ACTS
technique.
ACTS
A = AWARE of your anger signals
C = CONTOL your response
T = TALK about the situation in a calm, polite, and
assertive manner
S = SOLVE the problem through a mutually
agreeable plan of action

16. A stands for becoming AWARE of the
signs of angry feelings.
• The first step to appropriate anger management is to
become aware of your angry feelings as soon as
possible. DON’T let angry feelings build and simmer.
• What are signs that you are feelings angry?
Rising voice, Hand shaking, Jaw tightening, Shorter
breaths, Tense muscles, Flushed, Red face, etc.

17. C stands for CONTROLLING your
response.
• THINK before you act. Think about the best way to handle this
situation. What choices do you have? What are the “pros” and
“cons” of each choice? This is a good time to practice the
technique of counting to ten before responding. The trick is to
get yourself under control so that you can respond in an
appropriate and logical manner. Keep the end result in mind …
to resolve this situation in a way that meets your needs without
hindering the needs of others

18. T Stands for TALKING about the situation
• Talk about the situation in a calm, polite, and assertive
manner. Assertive techniques include talking about
differences without becoming defensive or attacking
the other person. Talking about the situation may
involve using a technique called the W.I.N. method of
confrontation. This method helps you focus on the
real issue, express how it is affecting you, and describe
what you would like from the situation.
W stands for WHEN to say to the person. I stands for I
(Your Feelings). (I am upset... (irritated, furious, etc. )
3) N stands for NEED. I need/want . . . (specify what
you want to change.)

19. S stands for SOLVING the problem
• The final step to the ACTS technique of
assertive problem-solving is to negotiate a
mutually agreeable solution to the situation,
create an action plan, and follow through with it.
The solution should be “win-win” for everyone
involved.

20. What To Do When
A Solution Is Not Possible:
1. Change your perception about the event and
choose to drop your anger, remind yourself that “it is
over” and refuse to get angry again.
2. Get professional help and counseling
Get a third party to negotiate a resolution. This is a
good option when: a. the issue is very important, b.
both sides want to resolve the problem, but they are
STUCK, and/or the anger has been intense and
frequent.
3. Withdraw or leave the situation
This is an important option if you feel that the anger
is putting you or someone else at risk.

21. TEN TIPS FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT
• No. 1: Take a timeout: Before reacting to a tense situation, take
a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10.
• No. 2: Once you're calm, express your anger: As soon as
you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive
but nonconfrontational way.
• No. 3: Get some exercise: If you feel your anger escalating, go
for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite
physical activities.
• No. 4 Think before you speak:In the heat of the moment, it's
easy to say something you'll later regret.
• No. 5: Identify possible solutions: Instead of focusing on
what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.
• No. 6: Stick with 'I' statements: To avoid criticizing or blaming —
which might increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be
respectful and specific. , say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help
with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."

22. • No. 7: Don't hold a grudge: Forgiveness is a powerful tool. It's
unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all
times.
• No. 8: Use humor to release tension: Lightening up can help
diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings
and make things worse.
• No. 9: Practice relaxation skills: When your temper flares, put
relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises,
imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase,
such as, "Take it easy.”
• No. 10: Know when to seek help: Learning to control anger is
a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for
anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do
things you regret or hurts those around you. You might explore
local anger management classes or anger management
counseling.

23. A moment of Anger;
May repent you for ever.
Anger – one letter short of Danger.
Tame Your Anger,
That will make you happier.
Thank You Dear!
Thank You Dear!