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The type of discipline you use can have a dramatic effect on your child’s
development. Your discipline strategies can have a big impact on the type of
relationship you have with your child. The various approaches to discipline
can even influence a child’s mood and temperament into adulthood.
Researchers have discovered four types of parenting styles. These different
styles are dependent on what the parent feels the child needs from them. As a
result, each parenting style uses a different approach to discipline. During the
1960s, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind described three different
parenting styles based on her researcher with preschool-age children:
authoritarian, authoritative and permissive parenting. In later years, researchers
added a fourth style known as uninvolved parenting.
• Has high expectations of their children
• Has very strict rules that they expect to
be followed unconditionally
• Are obedience- and status-oriented
• Expect their orders to be obeyed
without explanation or reasoning
behind their rules
• Often utilize punishment rather than
• Very demanding, but not responsive.
• Don't express much warmth or
• Don't give children choices or
THE EFFECTS OF AUTHORITARIAN
• Tend to associate obedience and
success with love.
• Some children display more
aggressive behavior outside the
• Others may act fearful or overly
shy around others.
• Often have lower self-esteem.
• Have difficulty in social
CULTURAL DIFFERENCESThe United States
Widely-cited studies of American adolescents have reported that teens with authoritarian parents
were the least likely to feel socially accepted by their peers. They were also rated as less self-
reliant. (Lamborn et al 1991; Steinberg et al 1992; Steinberg et al 1994).
One study of 2nd graders in Beijing found that kids from authoritarian families were rated as less
socially competent by their teachers. They were also more aggressive and less likely to be accepted
by their peers. Other Chinese research has linked the punitive aspects of authoritarianism with
poorer social functioning. (Zhou et al 2004).
One study found out the effect of parenting style of parents on the attachment styles of
undergraduate students. Authoritative parent style has no significant relationship with any of
secure, anxious and avoidant attachment style. Authoritarian parenting style has significant
relationship with anxious attachment style. Permissive parenting style of father has significant
relationship with avoidant attachment style. Permissive parenting style of mother has significant
relationship with anxious attachment style. (Akhtar, Z., 2012)
UNINVOLVED PARENTING or NEGLECTFUL
It is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness
to a child's needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no
demands of their children and they are often
indifferent, dismissive or even completely neglectful.
These parents have little emotional involvement with
their kids. While they provide for basic needs like
food and shelter, they are uninvolved in their
children's lives. The degree of involvement may vary
considerably. Some uninvolved parents may be
relatively hands-off with their kids, but may still have
some basic limits such as curfews. Others may be
downright neglectful or even reject their children
Characteristics of the Uninvolved Parenting Style
Are emotionally distant from their children
Offer little or no supervision
Show little warmth, love, and affection
towards their children
Have few or no expectations or demands for
Don't attend school events and parent-teacher
May intentionally avoid their children
Are often too overwhelmed by their own
problems to deal with their children
The Effects of Uninvolved Parenting
Are often emotionally withdrawn
Tend to exhibit more delinquency during
Feel fear, anxiety, or stress due to the lack
of family support
Have an increased risk of substance abuse
Must learn to provide for themselves
Fear becoming dependent on other people
Understanding Uninvolved Parenting
Researchers associate parenting styles with a range of child outcomes in areas such
as social skills and academic performance. The children of uninvolved parents
generally perform poorly in nearly every area of life. These children tend to display
deficits in cognition, attachment, emotional skills, and social skills.
Due to the lack of emotional responsiveness and love from their caretakers, children
raised by uninvolved parents may have difficulty forming attachments later in life.
The complete lack of boundaries in the home makes it difficult to learn appropriate
behaviors and limits in school and other social situations, which is why children with
uninvolved parents are more likely to misbehave.
Parents who exhibit an uninvolved parenting style were often themselves raised by
uninvolved and dismissive parents. As adults, they may find themselves repeating
the same patterns they were raised with. Other parents who display this style may
simply be so caught up in their busy lives that they find it easier to take a hands-off
approach to dealing with their children. In some cases, parents may be so wrapped
up in their own problems (i.e., being overworked, coping with depression, struggling
with substance abuse) that they actually fail to see how uninvolved they are with
their children or are simply unable to provide the emotional support their children
PERMISSIVE PARENTING or INDULGENT
Parents who exhibit this style make
relatively few demands upon their children.
Because these parents have low
expectations for self-control and maturity,
they rarely discipline their children.
According to developmental psychologist
Diana Baumrind, permissive parents "are
more responsive than they are demanding.
They are nontraditional and lenient, do not
require mature behavior, allow considerable
self-regulation, and avoid confrontation."
Characteristics of the Permissive Parenting Style
Have few rules or standards of
When there are rules, they are often
Are usually very nurturing and
loving towards their kids
Often seem more like a friend,
rather than a parent.
May use bribery such as toys, gifts
and food as a means to get child to
The Effects of Permissive Parenting
Sometimes have poor social
May be self-involved and
May feel insecure due to the lack
of boundaries and guidance
Understanding Permissive Parenting
In a recent study, permissive parenting was linked to
underage alcohol use; teens with permissive parents were
three times more likely to engage in heavy drinking.
Researchers also suggest that permissive parenting is linked
to other risky behaviors such as drug use and other forms of
misconduct. Because permissive parenting involves a lack
of demands and expectations, children raised by parents
with this style tend to grow up without a strong sense of
self-discipline. They may be more unruly in school due to
the lack of boundaries in the home, and may be less
academically motivated than many of their peers.
Since these parents have few requirements for mature
behavior, children may lack skills in social settings. While
they may be good at interpersonal communication, they
lack other important skills such as sharing.
• Listen to their point of view
and take it into account.
• Try to balance the
responsibility of the child to
conform to the needs and
demands of others with the
rights of the child to be
respected and have their
own needs met
• Allow their child freedom
but have consistent rules
• Warm and supportive.
• “How can we make this work for both of us?
• “you know you should not have done that.
Let’s talk about how you an
handle the situation better
• Self – confident.
• Socially competent
• High self esteem
• They are less likely to
report depression and
anxiety, and less likely
to engage in antisocial
behavior and drug
• Form and sustain
• Authoritative Parents are warm but firm.
• They encourage their adolescent to be
independent while maintaining limits and
controls on their actions.
• Authoritative parents do not invoke the
“because I said” rule.
• Parenting styles may also differ between
parents (e.g., one parent is permissive while
the other parent is authoritative). In this
situation, parents should discuss, in private,
acceptable and unacceptable child behaviors
and those areas where they can reach
Why Authoritative parenting works ?
• Act as a role models and exhibit the same
behaviors they except from their children
which helps them to internalize these
• Consistent rules and discipline allow children
to know what to except.
• Best way to handle misbehavior is by reasoning with the
child, especially explaining the consequences of the child’s
actions for others.
• Time out is effective. Ex. When the child has misbehaved,
parent might take away TV viewing for a specified time.
EXTREMELY DIFFICULT PARENTING