Yes

2. RELATIONSHIP
• A RELATIONSHIP IS ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, WHICH CAN BE EITHER POSITIVE
OR NEGATIVE. YOU CAN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WIDE RANGE OF PEOPLE, INCLUDING
FAMILY AND FRIENDS. THE PHRASE "BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP," WHILE OFTEN LINKED WITH
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS, CAN REFER TO A VARIETY OF ASSOCIATIONS ONE PERSON HAS
WITH ANOTHER.

3. ACCEPTANCE
• ACCEPTANCE DOESN’T JUST MEAN THEY ACCEPT YOU, THOUGH. IT ALSO MEANS YOU FEEL AS IF YOU
FIT IN WITH THEIR LOVED ONES AND BELONG IN THEIR LIFE.
• THIS SENSE OF BELONGING MIGHT INCREASE WHEN THEY:
• INTRODUCE YOU TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS
• PLAN ACTIVITIES TO DO TOGETHER
• SHARE DREAMS AND GOALS FOR THE FUTURE
• ASK FOR ADVICE WHEN MAKING DECISIONS
• IF YOU DON’T FEEL ACCEPTED, YOU MIGHT FEEL AS IF YOU’RE HOVERING ON THE EDGES OF THEIR LIFE.
THIS ISN’T A COMFORTABLE PLACE TO BE.
• SOME PEOPLE DON’T OPEN UP EASILY, AND THEY MIGHT HAVE OTHER REASONS FOR NOT INCLUDING
YOU IN CERTAIN PARTS OF THEIR LIFE. ALL THE SAME, FEELING LIKE YOU DON’T BELONG CAN MAKE IT
DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO SEE YOURSELF IN THE RELATIONSHIP LONG TERM.

4. SECURITY
• A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP SHOULD FEEL SECURE, BUT SECURITY CAN MEAN MANY
THINGS.
• IF YOU FEEL SECURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU GENERALLY:
• KNOW THEY RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES
• FEEL SAFE TO SHARE YOUR FEELINGS
• FEEL PHYSICALLY SAFE WITH THEM
• BELIEVE THEY SUPPORT YOUR CHOICES
• FEEL ABLE TO SHARE YOUR FEELINGS
• SETTING CLEAR BOUNDARIES CAN HELP BOOST YOUR SENSE OF SECURITY:
• “I DON’T WANT TO BE SHOUTED AT, SO I WON’T RESPOND IF YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE.”
• IF YOUR PARTNER BECOMES ABUSIVE, SEEK PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT. PHYSICAL
ABUSE IS OFTEN EASY TO RECOGNIZE, BUT EMOTIONAL ABUSE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL
UNSAFE, TOO, EVEN IF YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR FINGER ON WHY.
• IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR HELP, OUR GUIDE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCES CAN
HELP.

5. TRUST
• TRUST AND SECURITY OFTEN GO HAND IN HAND. IT’S
HARD TO FEEL PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY SAFE WITH
SOMEONE YOU CAN’T TRUST. WHEN YOU TRUST
SOMEONE, YOU KNOW THEY’RE LOOKING OUT FOR YOU
AS WELL AS THEMSELVES.
• IF YOU START TO DOUBT THEM, TRY BRINGING UP
SPECIFIC BEHAVIORS, SUCH AS STAYING OUT LATE
WITHOUT EXPLANATION. THIS HELPS YOU GET TO THE
BOTTOM OF WHAT’S GOING ON WHILE TOUCHING BASE
ON COMMUNICATION NEEDS.
• IN GENERAL, TRUST DOESN’T HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY. YOU
CULTIVATE IT OVER TIME, BUT YOU CAN ALSO LOSE IT IN
AN INSTANT. BROKEN TRUST CAN SOMETIMES BE
REPAIRED, BUT THIS REQUIRES EFFORT FROM BOTH
PARTNERS AND OFTEN.

6. VALIDATION
• EVEN THE CLOSEST PARTNERS DON’T ALWAYS SEE EYE
TO EYE, AND THAT’S OK. WHEN YOU DON’T COMPLETELY
AGREE, THOUGH, YOU STILL WANT TO KNOW THEY’VE
HEARD YOUR CONCERNS AND UNDERSTAND WHERE
YOU’RE COMING FROM.
• ACCORDING TO RESEARCH FROM 2016TRUSTED SOURCE,
MOST COUPLES FIND IT IMPORTANT TO OPERATE ON THE
SAME WAVELENGTH. WHEN YOUR PARTNER COMPLETELY
FAILS TO SEE YOUR PERSPECTIVE, YOU MIGHT FEEL
MISUNDERSTOOD. IF THEY DISMISS YOUR FEELINGS
ENTIRELY, YOU MIGHT FEEL IGNORED OR DISRESPECTED.
• IF YOU GENERALLY FEEL VALIDATED, BUT THIS HAPPENS
ONCE OR TWICE, IT’S POSSIBLE THEY HAD AN OFF DAY. IT
DOESN’T HURT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION, REGARDLESS,
TO SHARE HOW YOU FEEL.

7. AUTONOMY
• AS A RELATIONSHIP DEEPENS, PARTNERS OFTEN BEGIN SHARING
INTERESTS, ACTIVITIES, AND OTHER ASPECTS OF DAILY LIFE. YOU MIGHT
NOTICE YOU’RE BECOMING MORE OF A UNIT AS YOU GROW CLOSER.
• BUT NO MATTER HOW STRONG YOUR RELATIONSHIP BECOMES, IT’S
ESSENTIAL TO MAINTAIN YOUR SENSE OF SELF. WHILE YOU MIGHT HAVE
PLENTY OF THINGS IN COMMON, YOU’RE TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE WITH
UNIQUE GOALS, HOBBIES, FRIENDS, AND VALUES — AND THAT’S A GOOD
THING.
• IF YOUR IDENTITY HAS STARTED TO BLUR INTO THEIRS, TAKE A STEP
BACK TO EXAMINE THE SITUATION. THIS BLENDING OF SELVES CAN
HAPPEN NATURALLY AS YOU GROW CLOSE, BUT IT CAN ALSO HAPPEN
WHEN YOU BELIEVE YOU NEED TO BECOME MORE LIKE THEM FOR THE
RELATIONSHIP TO SUCCEED.

8. CONNECTION
• IT’S OK NOT TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. IN FACT, MAINTAINING
SEPARATE INTERESTS AND FRIENDSHIPS CAN BE GOOD FOR INDIVIDUAL
MENTAL HEALTH, AS WELL AS THE HEALTH OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP (SEE
AUTONOMY ABOVE).
• BUT YOU PROBABLY WANT TO FEEL CONNECTED AT THE SAME TIME.
THAT’S PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE. WHAT ARE RELATIONSHIPS FOR,
IF NOT SHARING YOUR LIFE?
• WITHOUT CONNECTION, YOU CAN FEEL LONELY EVEN WHEN YOU SPEND
MOST OF YOUR TIME TOGETHER. IT MIGHT SEEM AS IF YOU’RE JUST TWO
PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO SHARE A LIVING SPACE OR SPEND TIME
TOGETHER SOMETIMES. CHANCES ARE GOOD THAT’S NOT HOW YOU
WANT YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO PROCEED.
• HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: IF YOU LACK THIS SENSE OF CONNECTION, IT’S
COMPLETELY POSSIBLE TO RECONNECT AND ENGAGE WITH THEM AGAIN.

9. SPACE
• CONNECTION IS IMPORTANT, BUT SO IS SPACE.
• SPACE WITHIN A RELATIONSHIP MEANS YOU BOTH HAVE THE FREEDOM TO DO
YOUR OWN THING WHEN YOU WANT TO. YOU FEEL SUPPORTED BUT KNOW YOU
CAN MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES.
• IT ALSO MEANS YOU STILL ENJOY SOME PRIVACY. THIS PRIVACY CAN MEAN
SEPARATE SPACES TO WORK OR RELAX AT HOME, BUT IT ALSO MEANS
EMOTIONAL PRIVACY.
• BEING HONEST DOESN’T MEAN YOU NEED TO SHARE EVERY THOUGHT THAT
CROSSES YOUR MIND. IF YOU FEEL ANNOYED, FOR EXAMPLE, GETTING SOME
PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL SPACE CAN HELP YOU WORK THROUGH THESE
THOUGHTS IN HEALTHY WAYS AND AVOID TAKING THINGS OUT ON YOUR
PARTNER.
• WHEN IT COMES TO SPACE, ASKING FOR WHAT YOU NEED IS KEY.

10. THANKING YOU...