Ian Healy on Empathetic Listening

1. TUNING IN TO OTHERS
THE IMPORTANCE OF EMPATHIC LISTENING
2011

2. EGAN
• Gerard Egan {1999} The Skilled Helper.
• Empathy as an interpersonal communication skill.
• Barrett and Lennard {1981} talk about The Empathy Cycle- 3
phases
Empathic Resonance
Expressed Empathy
Received Empathy
Journal of Counselling Psychology, 28, 91-100.

3. The phases and focus of empathy
• Abstract
• Interpersonal empathy is a subtle and multisided
phenomenon which can, nevertheless, lend itself to
systematic portrayal and investigation. This paper further
refines the author's account of empathy as involving a
sequence of distinct steps or phases. Freshly introduced
here is the idea of empathic response not only to self-
experience but also towards relationships conceived as
emergent living wholes with their own felt presence and
individuality. Given described preconditions for empathy,
three main phases in a complete empathic process are
distinguished: reception and resonation by the listener;
expressive communication of this responsive awareness by
the

4. • empathizing person; and the phase of received empathy, or
awareness of being understood. The phases are not a single
closed system, thus do not occur in lock step and are semi-
autonomous in practice. Responding empathically to
relationship systems (existing as 'we' or 'us' to the
participants and as a joint 'you' to others) may be
interwoven with empathic response to individual 'I'
experience. Although differing in focus, the empathic
process follows the same phasic course in both cases. An
underlying view is that individual selves are only one of the
forms human life takes; other forms include relationships,
families and living communities.
• Br J Med Psychol. 1993 Mar;66 ( Pt 1):3-14.
• The phases and focus of empathy Barrett-Lennard GT.Murdoch University, Australia.

5. PRIMARY ORIENTATION
• Empathy is a basic value that informs and drives all helping
behaviour {Egan, 2000}.
• Goleman {1995, 1998} empathy at the heart of emotional
intelligence
• Goleman- “social radar for sensing others’ feelings and
perspectives.”
• Taking an interest in their concerns……mm!

6. EMPATHY AS RADICAL
• Egan {2000} sees empathy as a radical commitment to
appreciate people in a three fold manner:
1. consciously attempting to understand the person from her
point of view; in the context of her feelings and with an ability
to reflect this back to her, with accuracy.
2. Consciously seeking to comprehend her/her life in its actual
social setting.
3. Recognising and understanding any dissonance between her
point of view and reality.

7. EMPATHY AS AN ASPECT OF GENUINENESS
• The risk of the inauthentic practitioner.
• Sympathising, perhaps, in lieu of empathising.
• Protected by a professional shield.
• Empathy cannot be contained within political correctness.
Diversity must mean what it says on the packet.

8. SELFLESSNES
• The suspension of the professional’s own concerns
• Whilst remaining centred within himself; not overly absorbed
into the person’s world i.e. to the detriment of his own
functioning/well being.
• To empathise is one thing, to over identify is ultimately not to
serve anyone’s interests.

9. EMPATHY AIDS FOCUSSING AND SHARING
• Egan {2000} helps person clarify ‘problems’ and identify
opportunities.
• Determine and evaluate goals that they choose to set for
themselves.
• Likewise choose appropriate actions to achieve such goals.

10. EMPATHY ENHANCED.
• As well as entailing skills, empathy is every bit a way of being.
• To be nurtured and distinguished from sympathy and/or
imposing your own agenda.
• Over time you may come to sense meanings of which the other
person is barely aware.
• However, be careful not to psychologise people; second guess
them; as if you know how they ought to be feeling.
• Egan p.205 “Sharing empathic highlights constructively
depends on social competence and emotional intelligence.”