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Indecision Legacy
Stop thinking and Act
The Legacy
# genetic_code.rb
include ‘sex’
include ‘hormones’
include ‘gender_bias’
include ‘sexual_orientation’
include ‘physical_makeup’
# education.rb
include ‘school_culture’
include ‘peers’
include ‘teachers’
include ‘courses’
include ‘physical_environment’
# parents.rb
include ‘personality’
include ‘negotiation’
include ‘parenting_skills’
include ‘conflict_resolution’
include ‘love_expression’
# friends.rb
include ‘new_friend_approach’
include ‘peers_mean_to_us’
include ‘relationship_experience’
# national_culture.rb
include ‘religion’
include ‘government’
include ‘media’
include ‘sports’
include ‘history’
include ‘language’
include ‘gender_roles’
# local_culture.rb
include ‘physical_environment’
include ‘industry’
include ‘demographics’
include ‘construction’
include ‘entertainment’
include ‘media’
include ‘language’
# experience.rb
include ‘physical_environment’
include ‘industry’
include ‘demographics’
include ‘construction’
include ‘entertainment’
include ‘media’
include ‘language’
39 filters or just 2
Key Indecisions
Men apply when they have just 60%, Women ?% of the requirements
“I want to apply for this job”
Men will ask, women traditional gender roles discourage
“I want an increase in pay”
We mostly conform to gender roles
“I want to ask that person out on a date”
Still conforming to gender roles
“I want to ask that person to have sex with me”
Anti-patterns
# infinte_loop.rb
loop do
puts "This will keep printing until you hit Ctrl + c”
n =+ 1
end
Unable to break circular argument
“Over Thinking”
# try_the_sauce.rb
describe Burger do
describe "#apply_sauce" do
context "with sauce" do
let(:burger) { Burger.new(sauce: true) }
before { burger.apply_sauce }
it "sets the sauce flag to true" do
burger.has_sauce_on_it?.should be_true
end
end
context "without sauce" do
let(:burger) { Burger.new(sauce: false) }
before { burger.apply_ sauce }
it "sets the sauce flag to false" do
burger.has_sauce_on_it?.should be_false
end
end
end
end
Parent implicitly teach
boys to pick themselves up -> no fear
girls be more careful -> fear
“Risk Management”
or
“Taking Risks”
# temp_failure.rb
begin
Speak.ask_question(“Why?”)
rescue Speak::TimeoutError
retry
end
Men see failure as temporary state
“Failure being a permanent state”
# stereotyping.rb
if sex == male
attitude = x
elsif sex == female
attitude = y
end
Some men and women are stupid, its cultural training
“Sexism”
# stereotyping.rb
case age
when < 16
attitude = a
when < 25
attitude = b
when < 45
attitude = c
when > 55
attitude = d
else
attitude = z
end
It’s our cognitive bias to label people and box them
“Agism”
# unique?.rb
ary.uniq{ |x| x. characteristics }
Society control you and your actions through social norms
“Not being unique”
Patterns
Back up your decision with research
“Prove your case”
When negotiating on behalf of others, women do better
“Make it not about you”
Practice your approach and key messages
“Talk through with a coach/mentor”
Use your intellect & heart
“Switch between your rational mind and
intuition”
Sometimes you start with the emotion, but be careful
“Identify your triggers”
Strategies for Learning from Failure, Harvard Business Review
“Learn from failure”
– “Irene Chang Britt, SVP Campbell Soup Company
“Not that I would have listened, but I wish I’d
known that it was okay to make mistakes earlier
in my career….We have to know that we’re
responsible for the results we create. We’re
victors, not victims. A mind-set of personal
responsibility is really important.’’
Every behavior that is wrong should be challenged,
not just for you but others
“What do you mean by that?”
“Do you really think that?”
“It doesn’t seem like you to say something like
that.”
You have needs and should be able to ask for them
“Respect and value yourself as something
unique”
Find a win-win. Work together with negotiating partner
“Negotiation is a conversation not a battle”
# exception_example.rb
begin
# perform some dangerous operation
# decision incoming
# load dependencies
# make decision with 100% certainty
rescue
# embrace imperfect information
# research decisions
# ‘pre-socialization’
end
Nobody has all the information to make the decision
“Stop thinking and act”
Do not let gender roles
limit you
• What is your goal and why is it your goal?
• Is this what you want or what society wants?
• Identify your triggers, what makes you uncomfortable?
or emotional? or out of control?
• Identify your coaches
• Practice, Practice
• How do you research your points
• How can you make it not about you?
• http://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-
from-failure
• http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-
progress/2014/06/28/six-ways-to-stop-
overanalyzing-become-more-
decisive/#4c8583b961c8

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Indecision legacy

Notes de l'éditeur

  1. Who is Eric 20 years Training 15 years of political work on social injustice 8 years exploring all the forms of psychology
  2. Mean people - we may create a blacklist
  3. What are the most limiting things in the US - Gender Role and Race
  4. Women 100% of the requirements
  5. Guilt Shame Women do not feel they have the right to negotiate, gender norms will often not think they are good enough
  6. Slut shaming Rating of women if you have a condom in the US UK Optimistic
  7. Women officially rumination and bigger mental health issues Men do not appreciate, dependent
  8. Boys asking girls for dates Movies
  9. Woman on average view failure as a permanent state
  10. Empathy gap The tendency to underestimate the influence or strength of feelings, in either oneself or others.
  11. Get back in the Kitchen
  12. Agisim hurts women more than men
  13. Empathy gap The tendency to underestimate the influence or strength of feelings, in either oneself or others.
  14. Compliance Fashion, Magazine, talk shows define what you should be BUT we need to evolve as a human race and society also need evolve thats why we have teenagers
  15. Make situation less ambiguous - reduce salience of gender norms in favour of situational norms. Learn about bargaining range and stay within range so you don't invoke role incongruity. gain experience: know appropriate behaviour, gain a script, then less likely to fall back on gender norms. 
  16. Embrace Imperfect Information Back Up Your Decision with Research ‘pre-socialization’ of my case Experience helps you grow make mistakes earlier in my career….We have to know that we’re responsible for the results we create. We’re victors, not victims. A mind-set of personal responsibility is really important
  17. One way to do this is to apply the two aspects in turn. It’s useful to start with reason, and gather facts and figures. Once you have an obvious ‘decision’, it’s the turn of intuition. How do you feel about the ‘answer’? Does it feel right? If not, have another look, and see if you can work out why not. If you’re not emotionally committed to the decision you’ve made, you won’t implement it well or effectively.
  18. Take More Responsibility:
  19. Do not let sexism get by Apologizing http://stopsexistremarks.org/stop-sexist-remarks-the-5-minute-guide/
  20. Gender roles are limiting you, evolve beyond them
  21. How to negotiate?  Mindset- negotiation sounds threatening, combative. Reframe: Not a competition, it's a conversation This is a win-win. Work together with negotiating partner Problem-solving mindset. Separates you from the goal Communal mindset- to help others  Be open to alternatives offered- cannot offer more salary, but more holiday Prepare Know your facts- what do you want and why do you want it? Practice communicating it clearly and professionally Be patient  Can set off a cascade of other negotiations. Be willing to give time for them to come back.  Be objective  The situation may feel personal but it is usually not  Be resilient You will fail. Prepare to negotiate for the next situation
  22. Embrace Imperfect Information Back Up Your Decision with Research ‘pre-socialization’ of my case Experience helps you grow make mistakes earlier in my career….We have to know that we’re responsible for the results we create. We’re victors, not victims. A mind-set of personal responsibility is really important
  23. Embrace Imperfect Information